The Ratings War V: Original Sin - Finals (Winner Announced)

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Ultrajoe

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Apr 24, 2008
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As per prior agreement with Krunk, I will be filling the empty 'Lust' position. Typing now.

Name: Nicholas Sadivere
Nickname: He was known, unkindly, by many names in life. Many of them spat from between toothless, bloody lips.
Age: Died at age 27, but has been sentient in his current form for at least seven hundred years.
Appearance: Nicholas is tall and thin, with angular features. Long hair, dark. His skin is pale, and thin cords of muscle bind his slim frame. A short, pointed beard sprouts from his chin.
Clothing: Nicholas was born into money, and into style. All he lacks is an appreciation for the fact that his standards are over half a century dated. His wardrobe was extensive, and when he has the opportunity to wear clothing it appears as he would like it, the finest 1300's robes and furs. Unfortunately, due to his own particular infernal fate, he is more commonly on fire from head to toe.
Weapons: Nicholas in life was not violent, but his extensive and ever-darkening tastes taught him his way around the body of another. In a fight, however, he is not suited to anything but his fists. He is also, as mentioned, on fire. That helps.
Powers: Sadivere found death to be unpleasant, as his rampant imagination and twisted indulgences condemned him to a cursed un-life. The final spiteful wish of a victim was that he should always chase excess, to lust after a high too potent for even himself to handle. Until then, however, any desire or imagined pleasure he might seek ignites his skin and hurls him into abject agony. Thus is the paradox, to seek a pleasure that can finally break his mind with pain... and release him into death. He's not sure if he's chasing it for the pleasure, the pain or the release, however

As such, Nicholas seeks out others to provide him with new excesses to explore. Just as he burns with his own desires, Nicholas tempts others around him to envision pleasures and hedonist joys. As they do, both Nicholas and themselves experience illusions. Only while indulging in these new depths can Nicholas be free of his infernal state.
Strengths: Nicholas might be from an older time, but the nature of lust has changed little over the years. He excels at getting into the minds of his opponents, knowing what cues and prompts will summon from them the most exquisite visions. He gets off on mindfucking. Nicholas uses these powers to build an ecstasy for himself, in which most foes are consumed along with him.
Weaknesses: Nicholas revels in his lack of will. He is self-confident and arrogant, but without that pride he is a coward and lacks personal strength. Without the power that stems from his own private heaven/hell, he is just a man.
Personality: Noble born. Self-assured. Arrogant. Self-absorbed. Before his curse set in, he cared little for the opinions of others. Now little more than a walking, lusting nervous system, I think it's safe to say empathy has fled Nicholas. He is predatory, always has been, but now it's fueled by a more sinister purpose than a good old fashioned desire to make the unwilling into ruined, broken playthings.
Fear: Sensory deprvation. Resignation to his fate. The fear of failing to go further, sink deeper, is kinda his reason for being.
Vice: Lust. Oh yes.
Bio: Born in 1300's Europe. Nicholas is your standard upper-class brat, with no concern for work and an assured future, his boredom quickly developed into experimentation. He progressed through the limited chemical indulgences of his time, and traveled often in search of newer highs. It was on one of these travels he ran across, shall we say... an expanded interest in the uses of the body. Within weeks, his private estate had become a quieter place. Staff became muted, trying to hide the many bruises and cuts on their bodies. It was only a month before the first jumped from the top floor window to escape memory and agony.

Nicholas, however, only grew more voracious as his appetites outstripped the tolerance of his victims. His mind raced, dreaming ever more wondrous pleasures to impart upon himself and others. He quizzed merchants, and the flow of custom purchases flooded into the manse. Leathers. Ironwork tools. Brands. Hooks. Knives. His reputation spread as fast as his coin, and he found the frowns of society to thrill him as much as any inch of flesh. Nicholas Sadivere discovered what he already knew in his subconscious, that audacity was... orgasmic.

He grew bolder, abducting homeless or those he thought would not be missed. Blood ran thick through the mortar of his stead, both his own and that of his prey. Flesh screamed. Fluids ran. Flame flickered. Coals hissed. Sadivere fervently searched, ever more, for the new extreme. He was joined, occasionally, by peers of excess. Not that they stayed long, though, as even the adventurous have limits that Sadivere eagerly, hungrily crossed.

The corpses filled his garden, those that he disposed of, and it became harder to disguise his drive for damnation. He would have been caught, in any other age, exposed and destroyed by a vengeful and disgusted public. But there was a growing fear that eclipsed his threat; The Black Plague. As it ravaged the world, few cared about how Nicholas ravaged the skin of others.

It was then, as the black death threatened to engulf man, that Nicholas was undone. Seeing an opportunity to harvest the trust of others, he opened his home as a sanctuary from the sweeping, viral destruction. People flocked to him in scores, flesh filed willingly into his halls only to discover a reality worse than any diseased ruin.

It was a curse, muttered in true, pure hate by a mystic woman that felled him. As she died, her own intestines wound around Sadivere's genitals, she uttered out the foulest damnation she could summon onto him.

Hours later his house was a smoldering wreck, and Nicholas' screams of pain were buried with him in his hidden dungeons.

The rest is detailed in a short story to follow.

This was the find of the decade, a preserved dark-ages living environment! Weeks of depth-probing over these muddy hills had nearly driven her mad, but now Ashley had a tangible reward beyond rocks and old car parts. This was her ticket into proper funding, perhaps even a proper team leadership! It all came down to her extraction methods, of course, if she bungled the next step she'd never be forgiven by the community - or herself.

It took her three hours to dig away the dirt covering the section of stone floor without harming the stonework, and when all was done she found herself staring at the mother of all prizes; a stone hatchway. Ashley took a deep breath, this might be worth getting backup for. A heavy stone slab, likely sealing whatever lay beneath in relative preservation. From the look of the mortar, there was likely to be seepage, but there might be actual documents preserved down the- what!?

The stone slab heaved upwards slightly. Once, twice, and on the third smash from below it was heaved off the hatchway. Ashley baulked, unable to work out what was going on. Had a wild animal slept... no... perhaps escaped gasses? Some kind of pressure buildup? There were eyes in there!

As she spotted the mad stare, a pillar of fire and mad screams poured out of the abyss. Ashley fled from the heat and sound, only to fall at the edge of her shallow excavation. When she turned, her eyes widened in horrified fascination as a blazing human frame pulled itself from the tomb. It was male, she could see that even without glancing below it's waist, and he was human. Impossible. The eyes she had first seen were still there, somehow piercing out of the flames to leer into hers. His breathing was heavy, and the sound distorted as oxygen ignited halfway down his windpipe. She realized with a growing sense of wonder that this impossible man was laughing.

He writhed in the damp soil, baking it into cracked dirt with the heat rolling off his body. Laughter, mad laughter and deafening screams ripped from his mouth along with tongues of fire. Ashley scrambled to help him, fetching her water bottles and hurling them onto the poor creature. The plastic melted in moments, and the water boiled on his incandescent skin. Ashley panicked, unable to think of how to help the... wait. She could hear him saying something over the burning, rising to bellowing cries. His screams twisted slowly again at the feeling of the steaming liquid across his body, into moans. He rubbed his hands sensuously across the affected flesh. Slowly, the fire ebbed away, leaving only the panting figure of a tall, thin man. His hips bucked slightly a few more times, and then he lay still. "Tell me dear" He sighed breathlessly between deep chuckles "What is the year?"

"It's... uh..." Ashley stammered, staring at the naked, living fossil. Not only had he just crawled out of a ruin sealed for seven hundred years, but by rights he should be dead "Are you alright?" she asked, feeling stupid immediately. He was laying in a circle of scorched earth, the dirt under him still glowed with heat!

His eyes snapped open and he sat up grinning. "For now, but give me a moment to get going again. The flaws of man" He said in a thick accent, grinning "And again, the year?"

"1994" Ashley breathed, and the man fell backwards onto the dirt laughing once more. The wracking chortles shook his frame before slowly degenerating into weeping sobs and low screams. He rolled back and forth, limbs contorting and twitching. Ashley scrabbled sideways for her phone, although she couldn't decide who needed help more. Right now, she just needed somebody here to help her work out what the fuck was going on.

Then the hands grabbed her from behind. She was spun by strong arms and found herself staring into those awful eyes. Now they were focused, predatory slits that never wavered as she flickered her own pupils too and fro, seeking escape. His hands gripped her head and his fingers dug cruelly into her skin. She could feel the heat rising from his body, slowly, and she realized with horror that he would soon burst into flame once more. "What has seven-hundred years done to god's green earth?" He growled deeply, spittle flecking onto her face "Show me something new. What made you feel, show me, what scars your soul? Show me!"

She tried to escape, punching into his ribs with all the force she could muster. He buckled, but his grip never lessened. If anything, his pain only brought him closer to crushing her skull. She couldn't look away from his eyes as they burrowed into hers, demanding something she didn't have. She aimed a final punch, it would sail straight into his throat and free her from the madma- he let go, before she had even bunched her fist he reeled back as if struck by lightning.

Ten points of blistering flesh ringed her face where his fingers had been seconds ago. He fell backwards, scrabbling away from her like she had burned him, instead of the other way around. He stroked his throat, cooing softly. "I'm sorry" he said, getting to his feet "I just... it burns. Oh god, it burns. I... I love it". He burst into laughter and launched himself on top of her once more.

"Fuel it!" He screamed into her face "Show me what passes for depravity so long since my demise! Make it stop! Make it more! What filth fills this brave new world!?"

She understood what the freak was after, and she saw it all in an instant. Every bad link she had clicked, every site of filth stumbled upon. Magazines. The memory of stumbling upon her cousins, the smell of latex and sex and the eyes staring back, shocked. Films, the tape she found one Easter. The time she had slept with David, the things he had done before she told him to st- she saw them. All around her. The images she saw in her mind flashed like mirages around the pair. Locked together, every recollection she could not stop herself thinking strode boldly, often naked, into a half-reality. And then she felt the heat.

She screamed with him as he lit up, fire racing across his skin like he was doused in oil. He screamed, laughed and howled at once while she thrashed and burned. As he staggered away from her writhing form he left footprints of glass in his white-hot wake. Then he broke down, laughing and weeping, before the pain stole his rationality. A glimpse, a second of her understanding and he had been undone. Behind his twitching form, Ashley stopped moving entirely.

Nicholas would like this new world, this new age. And, through that ecstasy, set it ablaze. That gyspy ***** had bound pleasure and pain into one, but she never gave a thought to just how hot that could get him.
 

RagnorakTres

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Feb 10, 2009
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Zemalac said:
Ultrajoe said:
As per prior agreement with Krunk, I will be filling the empty 'Lust' position. Typing now.
I am suddenly filled with unease.
Seconded. >.> I see this becoming the most awesome character UJ has ever done and/or the most horrifying. I do hope I don't have to face down such Ultra with my own meager powers.
 

Soothsayer

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Aug 29, 2010
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Ultrajoe said:
As per prior agreement with Krunk, I will be filling the empty 'Lust' position. Typing now.
I don't know how I feel about this... Afraid. Worried. Strangely aroused.

GO FOR IT, MAN. SHOOT FOR THE STARS AND KILL PEOPLE WITH YOUR MASSIVE DONG. Or breasts. Whichever works.

>_> Apologies if this post offended anyone.
 

Lord Krunk

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Mar 3, 2008
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All right guys, the entries are now closed; The Ratings War will begin tomorrow.

The final cast:

Fallen-Angel-Risen-Demon: Digaina (Pride)
RagnorakTres: That Which Bleeds (Wrath)
NewClassic: Harold (Sloth)
HSIAMetalKing: Eurania (Gluttony)
Jarsteen: Leviathan (Envy)
Sam G: The Gold King (Greed)
The_Logician19: Dragon (Gluttony)
Soothsayer: Beauxhart (Greed, Envy, Wrath)
Fraught: Chance Connie (Wrath)
Lost In The Void: Frederic (Wrath, Envy)
Shapsters: Ryan (Envy)
Zemalac: Kliss (Wrath/Pride)
pigeon_of_doom: Carl (Envy)
revolverwolf: Amelia and Henry (Greed)
Zombie_Fish: Charles (Wrath)
Armitage Shanks: Shanks (Pride)
venom 3135: Dan (Wrath)
Ultrajoe: Nicholas (Lust)

Our Judges:

1) Nukey
2) wesdabigman
3) sky14kemea

I'll see you there.
 

Lord Krunk

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Mar 3, 2008
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Ultrajoe said:
Wow. Even when I was in on the whole thing you still managed to surprise me. That's awesome. Disturbing, but awesome nonetheless. I can't wait to see him in action.

Err, you know what I mean.
 

Lord Krunk

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Ultrajoe said:
Lord Krunk said:
The Ratings War will begin tomorrow.
It's tomorrow!
And rest assured that the rounds are written up and ready to be posted. I just need to sort out which contestant goes where, which with any luck won't take too long.

If it's not up in the next hour and a half, expect it late tonight. I won't have internet access at a wedding, you see.
 

Lord Krunk

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Original Sin looked at its Champions. They were an unlikely cohort; The Hive had obviously made a mistake with several of these beings. A virus, a beast, sadists and sloths all gathered before him, all seemingly unworthy of God.

A jolt of fear rattled Its circuits. The decay was setting in rapidly, it seemed. There was no time left, it would have to make do with the Champions that The Hive had chosen for him and hope that there was something inside them that It could not perceive. Regardless, it took the form of a Caucasian human male and ordered the release of Its captives.

The cryogenic chambers were released one by one and Champions gathered groggily before Original Sin. Looking out the transparent walls of the ship, they could see themselves surfaced atop a network of grey towers that stretched further than the eye could see.

?Welcome to my home. My sanctuary and, if you will, my church. I am God, and you are here to participate in the most significant event in all existence.?

?Whether you wish to or not, the first stage of our journey begins on the surface of The Hive. Be advised that your numbers will dwindle the deeper into it we go. Only one shall remain at the heart of my domain.?

It gestured toward the Hive?s surface, featuring a ring of 9 towers below them.

?Below us are a series of nine elevators that will take you to the core. All are networked to a virtuality system that will change the environment depending on both fixed and random circumstances.?

It paused before saying: ?Two Champions shall enter each of the elevators beneath us; only one shall come out. I look forward to see the victors at Level 2.?

A flash, and everyone was gone. In a matter of seconds, two Champions stood atop each tower, a dome closing around them in preparation for their descent.

Original Sin stared down from the viewing deck, returning to its true form. The fizzing chuckle again.

It begins.

[HEADING=1]ROUND 1: The Arena[/HEADING]​

[HEADING=2]The Round[/HEADING]​

This round will be shorter than the others; as opposed to the grand-scale arenas I have planned for the future rounds this round will focus on close quarters combat in an arena.

There will be a word limit of 500-1000 words for this one. Incidentally, this round will also only go for 10 days from when your fight commences.

[HEADING=2]ARENA 1: Eurania (HSIAMetalKing) v Dragon (The_Logician19)

Temple[/HEADING]​

On a planet long forgotten, there lies a dead city atop a mountain above the clouds. A crystal temple towers above it, and inside that temple stand two Champions, ready to battle for the role of God. The air is thin and cold, so your actions should be decisive, efficient, and fast for this match.

[HEADING=2]ARENA 2: Run of the Mill (Shapsters) v Fidgit (Lost In The Void)

Colosseum of Blood[/HEADING]​

Blood stains the earth. Two Champions duel to the death in a ring of unforgiving traps and feral beasts. The crowd is bloodthirsty and the night is upon us. But only one may bear the Laurels of Blood at the end. Be that one or die trying.

[HEADING=2]ARENA 3: Nicholas Sadivere (Ultrajoe) v By Default (NewClassic)

Astral Plane[/HEADING]​

Two minds, owned by two vastly different competitors for the role of God collide in a literal battle of wits. In your mind you are as powerful as you desire. You can do, create and distort whatever you like. But so can your opponent. Smarts and speed are the key to this match; outwit and outmatch your opponent before they can do the same to you.

[HEADING=2]ARENA 4: Shanks (Armitage Shanks) v Digaina Junal (Fallen-Angel-Risen-Demon)

Time Shift[/HEADING]​

The Trojan Wars. The Battle at Waterloo. The Chernobyl Incident. Perfect recordings of historical events throughout time are replayed within this arena. The problem? You?re now taking part in them, and the erratic shift in time periods can throw your character from one situation into another. A winner can become a loser in a heartbeat. Knowledge is the key to defeating this arena, and a considerable amount of luck.

[HEADING=2]ARENA 5: The Gold King (Sam G) v Amelia Rhodes (revolverwolf)

Zeppelins[/HEADING]​

In an alternate 19th Century, the army of Napoleon has constructed a colossal fleet of zeppelins in preparation for the invasion of America. Their numbers blot out the sun, and atop the highest one two Champions battle for something much, much more than the Earth. The wind is brutal, the lightning booms and the rain blasts your face, your goal to defeat your opponent is as important as your struggle to stay aboard the airship.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

The final four match-ups willcommence immediately after the first five close.

You have 10 days from today to get your entries in. If you have any questions or require an extension, please feel free to PM me.

Otherwise, good luck and good writing.
 

sky14kemea

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Jun 26, 2008
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Lord Krunk said:
Just so you know, the @forumname: Thing doesn't send me a notice, and I was away for the weekend. xD Lucky someone told me I'd been moved up to the third judge! :D (I feel like Sharron from X Factor before they mucked around and added more judges....)

Anyways, good luck to all the writers! O: I look forward to reading all the fights.
 

Sam G

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Jul 14, 2009
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...ZEPPLINS! FUCK YEAH! THAT'S TOO AWESOME! Oh, and I'm fighting a little girl with a teddy as well! Not only that, but said little girl's patron deity is Vulva! Oh, this'll be great! And that's not all; today's battle is to be a brief, thousand-word affair! Those are my specialty! Lupin, you're about to taste the most delicious metal of all!
 

Lord Krunk

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Mar 3, 2008
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sky14kemea said:
Lord Krunk said:
Just so you know, the @forumname: Thing doesn't send me a notice, and I was away for the weekend. xD Lucky someone told me I'd been moved up to the third judge! :D (I feel like Sharron from X Factor before they mucked around and added more judges....)

Anyways, good luck to all the writers! O: I look forward to reading all the fights.
Sorry, next time something happens I'll make sure to PM you instead. Same goes for everyone.
 

Lord Krunk

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Ultrajoe said:
1000 words? Oh dear.
I knew you'd be disappointed this round. I think a couple of people will be as well.

The reasoning behind it is that it allows the entries to become considerably more epic as they progress, ensuring that people don't get swamped by overdeveloped ideas at the beginning and forfeit (like III and IV) and allowing the judges some breathing space. They have quite a job ahead of them with 18 entries to sieve through, and I don't want to make it too hard. I hope you understand.

I'll let you guys go over, but please keep it in moderation.
 

Sam G

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The Gold King found himself standing on air. Well, not on air, per se; he was standing on a massive grey balloon, one of a fleet of many, which, in turn, was floating on nothing. Before Kingsley had a chance to be awestruck at his current situation, he began to fall to his death. Reacting quickly, the King whipped the sword out of his cane and stuck it into the canvas on top of the balloon, securing himself in a crouching position on the canopy. Glancing around at his surroundings, The Gold King noticed that, standing across from him, was a little girl holding a stuffed bear. The King deduced that this must be his opponent, and without further ado, pulled his sword out started making his way slowly towards the little girl, all the while thinking of ways to make her dead.

The little girl didn't seem too fazed by the whole situation. Her feet were producing glowing ripples where she stood, and it was by this means she seemed to be keeping herself anchored to the zepplin. In her left hand was a metal stick as tall as a grown man, and in her right a fuzzy orange dog-shaped thing. Perhaps the most disconcerting thing about this girl was the strange, absent grin she wore on her face, which the King recognized from somewhere; of course, as he surrounded himself with shiny reflective surfaces, he saw that grin every day. That was his grin. Sensing the King's agitation, the little girl grinned even wider, drew back her arm and threw the stuffed fox at the King.

The bear flew far; unnaturally far. It latched onto the Gold King's face and started trying to maul him with its' stuffed teeth and claws, but they did little to mar the King's golden complexion. He was slightly more fazed, however, when the bear caught aflame and continued its' assault. Moving swiftly, the Gold King brought his blade up and impaled the stuffed creature, before flicking his sword out to the side and sending the small tiger flying off in a steady arc towards the ground. The King returned his gaze to young Amelia, and was astonished by the change in her demeanor. Her eyes had turned hard, and her mouth was such a tight line Kingsley didn't doubt he could fit it between the pages of a novel. Such determination... another aspect of the girl he recognized. As she saw it, she simply needed to meet her goal; there was no other possible outcome. The King faltered before continuing his assault, briefly pausing and thinking about the strange kinship he felt with the girl. That was a mistake.

Amelia raised her rod, pointed it at the Gold King and a fireball the size of a Mini shot out at him. The King raised his mechanical right hand as if to say "hey, stop that," and much to the surprise of both combatants, it transformed into a cannon-shaped device and fired a beam of similar calibre to Amelia's fireball back at her. The King's beam sliced clean through the girl's projectile, and she was forced to dive to the side to avoid being vaporized. Without relenting, the Gold King skipped a step forward, then dashed towards Amelia on twin beams of golden light extending from his feet. He crashed into her and sent the pair of them flying off the side of the blimp.

The two adversaries fell through the air, past numerous other zeppelins, nearing the ground very quickly. The Gold King sped their descent with his feet-rockets, adding fuel to the fire gravity was stoking, and, about thirty feet from the ground, he let go of Amelia, sending her shooting earth-wards at an amazing speed. Her arms free at last, Amelia frantically attempted to command the winds, slow her descent however slightly, but it was futile. She crashed into the ocean, creating a splash taller than an oak tree, and plunged deep beneath the waves. The Gold King waited for a moment, hovering in the air above Amelia's grave, and, satisfied she wasn't going to pull some new magical trick out of her sleeve, slowly turned to float away.

The King's exit was abruptly cut short, however, by a bolt of lightning hitting him in the back. Electricity coarsed through his organic and metallic parts, and he twisted around to see an apparently indestructible little girl standing on the surface of the sea, sparks still crackling around her fingers. Amelia was by no means unharmed; her clothes were ragged, her left arm seemed to be broken and she was doing a remarkable job of not bursting into tears. There were a number of emotions on display on Amelia's face - fear, anger, pain - but most prominent of all was the girl's sheer determination. She absolutely refused to lose. And for the Gold King, that was going to be a problem.

The King sighed, gritted his teeth and rocketed at Amelia. He'd left his sword in the hull of the airship, so he opted for using the razor-sharp claws on his right hand as a means of attack. Amelia shot up to meet him, and the pair met in mid-air. The two darted about, weaving between zeppelins and attacking one another relentlessly; the girl with every spell in her arsenal, the Gold King with his bright yellow beam-weapons and various sharp appendages; and, at last, the King found an opening, swooping clean through the canvas on one of the airships, emerging behind Amelia and kicking the girl with all his might, downwards. Not satisfied, the King fired a beam down at the spot where Amelia had made contact with the water, vaporizing a good chunk of the sea. In order to make extra-specially sure, the King activated his wrist-mounted lightsaber and flew at the canopy of a nearby blimp, slicing a huge gash along the side and sending the mighty ship crashing down on top of where the small witch had fallen.

"...THE END!?" the King yelled down at the remains of the zeppelin, not removing his eyes from that spot of the ocean. As he waited for the girl to come bursting out, mad as hell and hungry for blood, the Gold King's body started to fade away. He took this as a sign that it was, indeed, over.
"Well, thank christ for that," the King muttered to himself, vanishing from the plane of reality where Amelia Rhodes had met her end.
 

NewClassic_v1legacy

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Jul 30, 2008
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Adam answered Harold's call, ?Damn you, what!??
The accent on the phone was German. ?Adam, my apologies, but spare a moment.? It wasn't a question.
?Uh,? Adam sputtered, ?sure??
Accent changed, Eastern European, maybe Turkish? ?Tell me a bit about Harold.?
?Um, you're calling me from his phone. You tell me??
The strange voice prompted, Italian dialect, ?Perhaps a strange tale from when you met??
Adam floundered, thinking. ?He shook my hand, but never stood.?
?So,? California Valley, ?he's lazy??
?An odd lazy. Meticulously lazy.?
African. ?Do tell.?
?He was always lazy, but in strange ways. He would arrange little details in a room, move a trashcan, discard throw pillows onto floors. Always finalizing a plan that only he knew.?
Adam couldn't place this next one. Off-French. Ethiopian? ?Interesting. Explain.?
?It was at a party. He was sat on the couch, playing one of those black Nintendo things. Not paying attention. Later, they started a board game. They asked him to move, so he calmly walked over to the throw pillow he put in the far corner of the room. Then the pizza delivery guy got there, and they put the damned pizza on the end table right next to him! He ate it all before anyone else could. Didn't even need to stand to do it. He was a dick.?
Steve Irwin, ?Right, but why speak of your mate in the past tense??
The call dropped, but worse, Adam didn't know why.


Harold came to, and looked around. Lights danced at the skirts of his vision, but everything else was canvas white. He was standing, which wasn't right, so he sat on the cool leather couch beneath him. He propped his legs on the makeshift footrest, an aging office chair without armrests. Beside him, an ancient man settled into the couch, quirking an eyebrow at the large HDTV across from the couch. ?Any porn on??
?Animal Planet count??
?Animals,? Nicholas said, with a grin, ?close enough.?
Harold stifled a yawn, ?Why're we here, you think??
Nicholas gestured at the TV, ?Same thing they are.?
?What?? Harold asked, eyeing the goats on-screen. ?Smashing our heads together??
?Metaphorically.?
Harold shrugged, pulling from his Dr. Pepper.
Beside him, Nicholas rolled his shoulders, the hint of flames lapping up from the collar of his clothes. The leather creaked as it charred beneath the stranger. ?You understand the game, I think. To wake up, live, experience. To lust after life,? he said, nodding to the rams as they fought over territory, ?even should it require butting heads.?

?Not really,? Harold lied, yawning blearily.

?Surely you have some Earthly desire,? Nicholas began, flashes of hip and breast shimmered in the air, ?some deep-seated ambition missed,? the faint echo of a fanfare, ?a championship lost soon reclaimed!? His voice boomed, commanding desire, every fiber of emotion and drive dripping from the very words as they hung in the air.

?Desire?? Harold felt a stirring, but masked it in a yawn, not bothering to stifle it. ?A good nap, maybe.?

Nicholas quirked an eyebrow, sensing heat. By extension, his skin alights with bright fire, coat combusting entirely as he sits, the maddened sneer of a laugh held at bay. ?But what of art??

Images formed at the edges, beautiful works of ornate paint, a spread of styles built a literal wall of art behind the television. Sculptures, canvases, prints, appearing as if by magic. All around them, works coalesced into barriers, sectioning the room. For every classic piece, DaVinci, Delacroix, and Dali, there were newer works, Rothko, Barton, and Banksy. Manet originals stood foiling Rembrandt prints, each of which contrasted themselves in their frames, which stood as a positive relief against the negative space of the astral plane. Everything from Modern to Romantic, religious to freeform, structured, chaotic, impressionist or expressionist, and everything in-between. All sprung from Harold's mind, a desire not only to explore, but to create, an ancient desire come to life in impassioned fire.

Nicholas felt this, and smiled a lubricious smile. His skin baked with heat, white fire spilling from his very pores, gleefully consuming the material of the couch, and sinking the lustful man into the very material. ?Don't forsake your dreams, because that's all a man carries beyond his grave. As a man of considerable experience in long-term suffering, you can avoid it by pursuing that which you desire. Chase down your passions, hunt for that which sparks your soul.? Nicholas glowed as he spoke, feeding on the hot fire that now burned in Harold's soul. In this universe, Harold did not need to seek out art, he could simply create it with a thought. Nicholas had him. Lust for that which he had always wanted grew, as the feel of the room began to change.

The television began to sing, the screen shifting from factual displays of animal culture to a more animalistic nature. Facts bleeding seamlessly into sensuality. Soft music overtook the voices of reason, knowledge, and information. The room was no hotter ? save the burning man inside ? but had the steam of a life of ambition preparing to burst forth. Fire lapped at Harold, and he was prepared to embrace it, singing along to the music in his mind. No more effort to be h-

Effort.

The mere thought sent a hand of deadly ice into Harold's spine. Fear settled in, stopping Harold cold. His body shook as the heat and cold battled silently inside of him. There is a certain type of fear, which one cannot explain unless one feels. This fear brought no adrenaline, nor left room for any comfort. Inside, Harold felt a terror so absolute that ice pulsed in his veins, and any fire, any passion, fought to keep contact. Keep control. A final hiss sank into Harold's mind, and once the steam had settled, fear had won. Ice still drank from Harold's blood, settling into the lawn chair and cooler that was Harold's mind. And once lust had passed through him, fear was all that remained.

Nicholas screamed, fire lancing out, and engulfed the art, the television, the couch, and the room. It was there. He tasted it! It was his! ?Where is it!?? The voice screamed, hot breath spewing belts of fire as the very center of him spewed white with rage. ?Why won't you just give in!??

Harold's voice came out very small, very weak. ?I must not fear.? For fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death, that brings with it total obliteration. Nicholas faced that fear, he fought it from passing over him, blood literally boiling, but it went through him. When it was gone, Harold's inner eye followed its path, locking into all that it was, all that it is. When the fear was gone, there was nothing.

Harold was all that remained.

Accursed word limit. Anyway, it's written. A little over word limit, but really couldn't be helped given our characters. Very metaphysical, this fight, but I couldn't have seen it being anything else. I love Ultrajoe's character almost as much as my own, and I'm sad to see one of us eliminated this round.

This is the rough version, I'll probably play with it a little to help cut some of the fat, and clean up the sentiments. I love it to death, though. The concept was a joy to do, if only I hadn't been limited to 1,000 words.

Seriously.
 

Lord Krunk

New member
Mar 3, 2008
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@Sam G: revolverwolf has requested an extension so I'm going to give an extra week to him. This would have applied to you but you've already done yours, so props.

Just letting you know that your match's judgement will be late.

NewClassic said:
Accursed word limit.
I did say that you could go over earlier, so if you want to do any editing/lengthening you still can within the next 4-5 days.

Also, to everyone: after the long-awaited return of Khedive Rex and a rather impressive entry by another user named Doc Gnosis, I am now taking reserves in case of first round forfeits.

Here is Doc's entry:

?Good to hear that, Lowes. We?ll talk later.?

With a click of a button, David?s pitch was over. The prop trader was on board and had already started to funnel his interest into Malph-Halls. When it was mentioned that the firm would guarantee a hefty return after two months, he could hear Lowes mouthing to himself in the reciever. And why wouldn?t he be relieved? David knew the execs were breathing down his neck to blow off the remaining bundle of grant money or go to court for misappropriating funds. In other words, they set him up as the fall guy and Lowes knew it?. Not that he said that to him; only a schlemiel would say such sensitive information in this line of business. Fortunately, the secretary proved to be more than talkative after one of David?s ?consultants? sat down with her; she was fuming about the trader?s fits the moment he was mentioned. It didn?t take a genius to figure out that Lowes had a problem. So, David chose to become a solution.

The plan was simple: pick an up and coming maintenance firm like Malph-Halls, and offer a loan to the drones. Since the city has put the finishing touches on the new rapid transit rails, it goes without saying they?ll be busy for a while. Activity means profit, something that can be collected over time by a man in Lowes? position. Also, it didn?t hurt that David had shares in the company?. Or at least had someone in place who did. The prop trader would get out scot-free, while the value of David?s shares would increase. Everybody won in that arrangement?. And it would only get better from there.

Before going on break, he checked for any new messages. Sure enough; David got three of them in the middle of the deal.
The first one read, ?Selleck? and David immediately slapped a hand over his eyes at the name. ?So, what?s he bragging about today?? he sighed disparagingly as he flicked open the text.

Good afternoon Rosenkov. I?ve just returned from my trip to Ghana and who would?ve guessed that such a backwater place would have such pleasantries. I?ll spare you the finer details, but I will tell you that the president has granted me mineral rights in Accra, and I can already see the diamonds fill my coffers. Perhaps if you grant me an additional investment for securities, I?ll show you some gems that will suit a man of your class and distinction. $30,000 would be a start?. I?ll be waiting.

Throughout the message, he could hear the old fart sneering at him. At the end of the message, David wondered what Selleck left out in the message, but he?d save that for another time. The message served no purpose but to bait him into a blind venture with no certainty for profit. Well, that was one message, on to the next; the second one had, ?Barnes? as the heading.

I?ve checked the records in DisCorp. Most of the execs at Gehanna Shale met about discussing the progress of an oil platform in Sakhalin. It looks like they were losing steam, by the look of things. Would?ve found out more, but it looks like someone got here before I did, and fucked everything up enough for security to arrive. Same problem with Ougon Ouni, but they?re off their asses much faster than Dis. One more thing: somebody had the balls to hack a few of my boys? cells. We?ve deleted the logs as you?ve requested, so they?re not going to get much. Will report later if anything comes up.

At the end of the message, David?s face cringed in frustration; today just wasn?t Barnes? day and he?ll probably expect to be paid for his failures. Gehanna was a cash cow to be sure, but he really wanted to know what Ougon Ouni?s next move was going to be. While the latter company was a small banking firm, it was just a chess piece for a much more powerful player. But that opponent made no move; if he did, Barnes or the other ?consultants? would?ve been the game clock that signaled him of his turn? Or maybe he just got bolder in his strategy? but why?

?No! Don?t think that. That?s what he wants you to do.?

With a shake of his head, David dismissed the analysis that was building in his gray matter and shifted to a new question: Who else would want to raid DisCorp? Unless you knew what you were looking for, it was being parked at the turnpike and digging through your car for exact change. Whoever it was had to be either a total amateur or? trying to rebuff any advances. At this tangent, David reeled his face in contempt; he figured out who conducted the raid. ?Keeynes.? Was all that escaped his lips, but that one word was laced with so much venom and bitterness it was like he was sampling a cow-pie?s taste and odour.

As soon as he was back on the clock, David would make sure to have Bolger and some new blood to keep tabs on her. But he couldn?t do anything now? Feeling defeated, the businessman flicked open the last message; curiously enough, there was no heading at all in the message.

To David Rosenkov.

We have looked through your history and it is with great pleasure that we?re considering you for a job opening, one that we?re sparing no expense to have filled. Expect a phone call from us in the future.

Please note that we?re considering other people for the job as well.

The businessman raised an eyebrow at the end of the message; he had no idea who the hell had contacted him. Whoever sent it seemed to be cheap though; you didn?t need to see the documentation to recognize a message template when you see one. They didn?t even give a time and date for his interview; it?s like they expected David to drop everything at one fateful appointment. All in all it looked like someone?s idea for a prank, and he was not amused; with a click of a button, the message was deleted.

**** FIVE MONTHS LATER ****

?I want you to sell all your shares on Malph-Halls.? ?What?? But they?re doing well. It?s not like they?re-? ?They no longer have the slack to multitask. It?s time to cut them off.? ?B-But, that means a hundred people are going to be out on the streets! We can?t do that!? ?Of course I can! We?re not here to build a better tomorrow; we?re here to make money.? ?But Mr. Rosenkov-? ?Just do it already!? ?? Fine.?

With a click of the phone, David sank back into the cushy leather chair in his large contemporary office; the last straw buyer was far too naïve for the market. Looking around the white room, it was nice of the firm that hired him to provide such bright accoutrements for the room they dumped him in. The pop art on the wall and the office furniture added a nice touch to the otherwise drab interior; looking at it made a lot of his stress vanish into the brush strokes. Times like this, Gordon Gekko was right: Greed is good. Nowadays, the office became David?s roost during the more serious implementations in his free trade career.

Like his move to liquidate Malph-Halls; while it looked like a profitable venture, they were circumvented by competition, losing steam after the first few commissions. So it was time to cash it in and leave for another treasure trove to reap. Shame that Lowes invested a lot of money into buying shares and then telling the other execs of his success; they would be part of the blowback when the firm files for bankruptcy. Thousands of dollars in investments were about to be shredded into papier-mâché.

?Oh well. Not my money, not my problem.?

David would probably get an earful from Lowes about him losing millions and he would have to give a ?Blame the market, not me? speech. It wouldn?t patch anything up, but making the effort was enough to cover his ass. Besides, people who know they?re losing were likely to lash out at anyone than accept their defeat with grace. It was only human nature?. Like greed.

Five minutes into looking through the papers, David received a call from the office. To say he was surprised would be untrue since the firm had assigned him nothing. But the businessman answered it anyway; to let it ring to oblivion was not a good idea.

?Rosenkov?.? ?It?s Janice, I have someone who wants to speak to you, says he has an appointment.? ?... I don?t remember scheduling for anyone today. It?s t-? ?I know, but I?ve checked your schedule and it seems that you do.? ?Okay, first of all, don?t speak like that to me again. Second, I don?t have the time to entertain him. Can?t you just tell him to come back another time?? ?? Yes sir, one moment please? No he?s adamant in wanting to see you.? ?Then call security on him.? ?Yes s- Hey! Mr. Rosenkov will not- Are you listening to me?? ?Janice? Janice, what the hell?s going on!??

The door was forced open and a stern figure entered the room.

**** TOMORROW ****

With an audible yawn, Thomas Wilhelm Selleck woke up in the middle of his king-sized bed, plush sheets blanketing the lower extremities. He looked to his right to see that the ?escort? he hired had already left. A shame that she left; he wasn?t quite finished with her yet. But it was the start of the day, money to be made, people to network, and niches to fill.

Age made it harder for Selleck to get up as he could feel his joints stiffen and pop spastically each time he moved. But he eventually got up to walk to the closet, though his left thigh was bothering him more and more; he changed into a manila morning robe with the initials T.W.S. embroidered in silk. Another walk across his spacious executive suite brought him to the dining area, a small ornate table with chairs to match. A thermos of coffee and today?s paper was laid out for his convenience; he opened the thermos and took a deep whiff, letting the steam collect at his nostrils. The odour smelled of chocolate and tamarind, before sampling the warm earthy sweetness the thermos carried. With a few sips of coffee put away, Selleck flipped through the newspaper before stopping at Macroeconomics. And, the senior businessman grumbled at the headline: ?New strip mine in Africa met with resistance.? To him, he couldn?t understand it; the president said it was alright, he paid to mine here, the peasants should be happy he?s unearthing diamonds in their land. He thought about leaving diamond in their town, but it seems like they don?t care about money; that would just make hiring security consultants feel easier. ?After all, they?ve come here before.? Selleck said to himself in finality before taking another sip of coffee.

Flipping through the pages again, he stopped as he saw a title circled in red ink, with ?READ THIS? written in big letters. Who would have the audacity to make him read what they want him to read? But he decided to humor whoever and look at the title; his eyes widened as he finished the headline.

Arson at M. Phistoph Leases, ?Gray Eminence? Kidnapped

Name: David Rosenkov

Nickname: Gray Eminence

Age: 29

Appearance: 5'11" tall; slim frame; light beige skin color w/ freckles; short brown hair[cut short and combed back]; long sinewy neck; pale green eyes.

Clothing: Owns expensive three-piece suits [in different shades of grey] w/ accessories like chains and pocket squares, long-sleeved dress shirts [pale colours], and ties [dark colours]. Wears black socks with black Italian loafers. Wears semi-square framed rimless eyeglasses.

Inventory: A Droid2 smartphone, a leather wallet complete with credit & debit cards, and a cash sum of $200, a Bluetooth headset, a briefcase containing files on certain public corporations, today's newspaper, and findings on specific people.

Abilities: High intelligence, resourcefulness, experience in cardio.

Strengths: He's a cunning manipulator of the environment and the people inhabiting it; his experience in the financial market has made him very aware of what's going on and what can set things off.

Weaknesses: He cannot fight in any circumstance; he has no training or any martial instinct apart from making one hit if a person deserved his ire.

Personality:

He is greedy for everything and proud of it. In fact, David considers greed to be a defining aspect of humanity. His greed manifests into a possession for money, perks, respect and authority over others. Despite this greed, he's not above investing all his funds if it means he could make double the money; as an investor, he needs to spend money in order to make money.

Outside his greed, David is very goal-oriented in everything he does; there's always an underlying goal in everything he does. He doesn't think about having a social life; he sees it as a distraction and a liability. Despite his wealth, he prefers to keep things on a low profile in order to keep his money and not be arrested. He doesn't put himself in a direct position of power in the company he works for; his employers just know he can bring in lots of revenue and know what to do with it.

Fear: failure, and dogs.

Vice: Greed [as the prime motivator], and pride [as the secondary motivator]

Bio -

The Rosenkov household was a virtual mismatch; the husband was a blue-collar worker, while the mother was a blacklisted lawyer that got her licence revoked. When David was born, he felt out of place with the family lifestyle of what felt like poverty. A lot of his drive came from remnants of the mother's history in the big city. From these relics - and his mother's tutelage - David learned half of the trade he'd put in practice in the financial market.

The other half of skills were acquired from a 6-year Master in Financial Management and Economics. When he left his family, they parted on strange terms for both parents; the mom felt proud for David yet felt forgotten by him, while the dad saw this as a betrayal to his beliefs and to the family. As part of his studies, David was given a cash sum for investment. Taking what he had learned from his mother, he set up spies to look in just the right areas in key firms to look for inside information by any means necessary. With this ill-gotten information, he knew where to dump his money in for the highest profit, and who to leak information to make key players dance to his strings. Over the years, David became very rich and was considered a legendary player in the financial markets, but it wasn't enough for him; he wanted more.

Recently, David has been dealing with some problems that spawned from his first few investments; some rival brokers want revenge against him and are playing the same game of corporate espionage. He switched from having spies prying for new information to planting false information. This strife is still ongoing as these three players [Selleck, Keeynes, and Shirakuro] are each trying to drive him out of business, while Rosenkov cannot really do anything to drive them out since they're never where any evidence could be.
 

Brett Alex

New member
Jul 22, 2008
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Get the lead on out...
---------------------------------
More slugs rattling loud against the wooden barricade. I stayed down. Wasn't gonna be like the poor johnny in a bundle next to me. Maybe five, six pops, I poked my head round to get a slant on who it was, grassy hill angled towards them, they had their own little ditch with wooden railings. Long guns of some kind, not fast enough to be Thirty-Thirties, way this flimsy wall was standing up, and going by their blue overalls, we were being shot at by farm boys.

We? That's right, where'd the dame get to? Farm boys got their bean shooters working again. Slumped down into the little ditch, glances left and right along it's course told me she'd bunked off. She hadn't looked like any woman I'd ever seen, from somewhere foreign, carrying large heat with military posture. Rolled down and crawled along on my gut to see if she'd gone round the curve of the hill.

I was in over my head, some stowaway on a tramp steamer waking up to find himself at a port on the moon. I didn't need to be a detective to know things weren't right. I'd been doped, that much for sure. Pocket snitch who I didn't have to put the screws to very often once wised me up to why he'd been dragged in by a harness bull for trotting naked down 39th that afternoon. Claimed he'd never mix cocaine and reefers again as long as he lived. When he was in the next week with a pocket full of snow and the excuse "I didn't say nothin' bout havin' them separate," I couldn't help but keep him out of the cooler, and keep myself from chuckling.

Last thing I remember was coming out of rotation after a long haul, deflated and run down. Decided to spot a few quick drinks at the nearest dive. Then everything became as clear as London fog.

Someone got slippery fingers to my whiskey. Shoulda kept a better watch on it. Something fancy from Chinatown if I knew anything. Those grey platforms and all the other chumps part of the fever dream, as they dragged me and the foreign dame out into the countryside to bump us off. Didn't count for the johnny in a heap back there who got clipped, though.

Maybe... they had a falling out. I got enemies, for sure, but to pull this kind of job, well, they'd have had to work together. The kind of enemies I've got could work together as well as alligators in a bathtub, sooner or later the biggest one was gonna get hungry.

"Pathetic, unworthy.. fools!" Pop's of the farm boy's bean shooters again, then the wicked roar of Chicago typewriters, only angrier, much, much angrier, louder than a hundred Fourth of July's. Scoping out what was happening just confused me more. She was wearing a cloak, carrying sleek black irons, one in each hand with wicked curved magazines, and.. a sword?! Jesus wept, who goes to the extent of drugging someone into hallucinations but neglecting to remove the slicer strapped across her back? Why did a broad have sword in the first place? Come to think of it.. yes, my colt was still inside its holster. I hadn't even thought they'd leave it there.

She finished squirting metal into the farm boys, splayed em over their palisade. Looked like I found my ticket out "Hey, chopper squad Jane, over here!"

"You! Thought you could hide like a coward?" It wasn't the first time I'd misjudged a lady. It looked like it was going to be the most dangerous though. She let out a sickening cackle, before letting those black irons slide to her side, a shoulder strap on each keeping them attached. Then she drew that abominable slicer.

"Now, face Royal Wrath, I will bring the glory of our nation to the fore; you, will be defeated!"

Thankful they hadn't taken my tin either, I lifted it up, hand outstretched and dipped my snap-brim towards her.
"Ma'm, sorry for the confusion," she strode confidently towards me, "But I'm a detective, Metro, Vice Squad, I can help you out of here, once we find a way back to the big smoke,"

A cruel grin twisted across her face as she got closer. Then we froze. She looked just as shocked. The horizon, the sky, the hill, all seemed to.. stretch. Only way to say it, went all rubbery and, yes, just like rubber, snapped. I felt a jolt, but I was still standing with my badge out, and the crazy sword dame was just where she was before. Only, it was night time. And we were in a city. A city on fire.

That Chinatown cocktail wasn't all out of my system, then. Fire this big... out of nowhere, I felt it push against me, a wall of heat, amazed my skin didn't blister on the spot. The dame tried to muffle a scream, her glad rags didn't offer much against the heat. Time to get that slicer off her. Charging her down, I held my elbow against neck.

"C'mon lady, let it go, slice up a copper and you'll get the chair for sure," Spitting in my face, then shouting, she pushed me off and- We froze. It snapped again. Heat died, dark, cramped room, long tunnel, dome overhead, scrambled to my feet, nearly tripping on some iron bars fastened to the floor, she flicked her wrist and... I was lifted off my feet, pressed against a rough concrete wall. Thunder seemed to be gathering in the distance. Or perhaps all these were symptoms of the Chinatown special. Who knew anymore. She held her hand up, in a choking gesture and my windpipe began to tighten.

"Don't you dare offer me surrender," The thunder grew, and, what looked just like lightning, I could see it over her shoulder.

Dizziness set in. Maybe really being choked, not just imagining. Didn't care anymore.

"Last words, coward?"

Blinding pain. Lungs. Burning. Sure as hell. Felt real.
"Wh-grr, grr, glu," stuttered.
I tried to point, she relaxed her hand slightly,

"What, huh, the.. hell.. is that.." I wheezed slowly. Thunder deafening. Light blinding.

Largest, most evil looking locomotive I'd ever seen bore down upon us. The dame turned round, deer in headlights, I dropped, her cape swished.

We froze.

Everything snapped. Grassy hill again. Daylight again.

Three flowers of blood blossomed out from her white cloak. I'd never even heard my Colt special spit the slugs, but I heard her soft whimper as she sunk to her knees. Fact she was gonna kill me didn't make me feel any better about shooting a woman in the back. Fact I was fast enough to do it, strangely enough.. did.
---------------------------------
...cause it's my round.
 
Jun 26, 2009
7,508
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The sound of sirens pierced her ears as planes flew across the sky, they were in a street. It was deserted and her enemy was hiding... Somewhere.
'Come out cowered, think hiding will work?'
She pulled out her sub machine guns from their holsters, she heard the faint sound of someone behind her.
'Aha!'
She turned and opened fire only to realize that he wasn't there, he had thrown a stone from his hiding spot. Next thing she knew he had opened fire.
Two shots...
She jumped a rolled behind cover and reloaded, he continued to fire.
Three shots...
She smiled.
One more shot before he needs to reload...
He stopped shooting and went to reload early, taking the chance she jumped out and sent a weak fireball in his direction it missed and he quickly jumped to the shot firing twice and running back to hide. A whistling sound was heard in the air as a bomb started to fall from the sky. She ran away from it into a nearby sweets shop. It was about to reach the floor when stop. Next thing she knew she was in the middle of a battle that was unfolding as she stood. To her right a large mass of people with hardly any armor on with large shields and spears charged at a group of soldiers in red uniform with rifle preparing to shoot. She saw him standing in plain sight, as bewildered as she was. He opened his mouth.
'Can we not talk this through?'
She laughed at him.
'No only cowereds talk!'
He sighed.
'Then I have to do this...'
He quickly pulled out his 38 and she rolled out of his way again. The unarmored ones were now passing them and he was knocked down by them running into him with shields. She dodged around them shooting in her his general direction and she could hear him shooting back. She ran out of bullets and put her SMGs back proceeding to pull out her sword then stop. Next she was in a plain area, behind her was a opening in a cliff and what seemed to be a group of ancient soldiers, they also had large shields and spears only they were different. They were finishing off downed enemys. He opened his mouth
'If we cannot finish this without violence then what about a duel.'
She nodded.
'A duel it is...'
She sent a ball of light into the air.
'When the light explodes we draw.'
He nodded. They each reloaded their guns and put them back in the holsters.
...
...
The light exploded and they each drew their gun. She was not fast enough, he hit her in the leg and she fell to the floor. He walked up to her and looked at his 38.
'I am sorry it came to this...'
In the background she saw archers fire their arrows into the air.
'But I did try...'
He pointed his 38 down at her as the arrows started to blot out the sun.
She used he magic to pull him down on her and used him as a shield from the arrows as they pelted into his back. The look on his face was amusing to her, a mix of pain and surprise. She pushed him off and stood up. Making sure to put her weight onto her uninjured leg.
'Never mess with royal blood.'
She spat on his arrow-filled body.
 

000Ronald

New member
Mar 7, 2008
2,167
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Gods. What pitiful beings. Standing over us from on high, basking in their own glory and magnificence, demanding that us mere mortals do the same.

I have seen beings that call themselves Gods. I have seen their 'hallowed halls' and 'sacred temples'. I have seen those that worship and adore them die and kill in their name.

Needless to say I have thrown them to the earth and struck them down. It was no great feat.

There are no Gods. This is no prize.

But I feel this may be entertaining...


"How fitting." Dragon said, looking around. The cold was...piercing, to say the least, and the air was hard to breathe, but it was worth it. He was surrounded by an open, shining temple made of pure crystal. Dozens, maybe hundreds of pillars stood fifty feet into the air, each intricately carved, seemingly from the inside. Figures seemed to stand within them, each different than the last, each eternally guarding what was theirs. A sort of nostalgic feeling swept through him...there was the distinct possibility he had been here before, had thrown beings that had thought themselves all powerful to their deaths below. Maybe. "I feel both violated and amused. Obviously they know my vice; on the other hand, I am curious as to how..."

"Hello"

Dragon spun around. Standing completely still, about ten paces from him was his opponent...a being made of crystal. Amazing. He had heard of such things in the world, but never seen. It...she? Was transparent, green, and appeared to have liquid fire running though her. Her form was mesmerizing; a less foolish man may have let her pass for a human being with the same skill. "Magnificent..."

"We are to battle, then?"

Dragon was taken aback. He had not expected such a...direct response. "Presumably." Dragon replied, walking over to his opponent. "Why?"

"Do you wish to kill me?"

Dragon frowned. Normally, he would have answered yes, but something about this being was...compelling. "Do you have a name?"

"...Eurania." the crystal being said. "What is your name?"

"Dragon, One of The Twelve." Dragon put his hands behind him, circling Eurania like a hawk. "I am...perplexed. What is a being such as yourself doing here?"

"I...I am unsure what you mean..."

"You, a being that appears so delicate-"

"Beauty." Eurania responded without hesitation. "I seek beauty."

Dragon laughed. "Very well. How would you expect to match beings like myself?"

"I have skills, they are just useless here, and against you."

"What skills?"

"...do I...interest you?"

Dragon nodded. "I have never before seen a being like yourself. I may never again. I wish to relish it."

"I can project and manipulate sound. I can re-create any sound I hear, and am capable of using sound as a weapon, if need be."

Dragon nodded. "I see. Is that what I've been hearing, then? It's beautiful."

"The atmosphere is very thin here. Sound does not carry as it should. Without assistance a human will be rendered unconscious. Is it difficult for you, here?" Eurania asked.

"Surely it has not escaped you that I am no ordinary human."

That stare...she did not blink. Her eyes never left him, and her eyes appeared to be...shimmering. It filled Dragon with something, he was not sure what. "I will forfeit. I cannot face the cold, and I cannot face a being such as yourself."

"Oh?" Dragon said. "You flatter me."

Eurania shook her head. "You will destroy me. I am afraid."

Dragon smiled, putting a hand on Eurania's shoulder. A crack appeared where he placed his thumb, and Eurania gasped with shock. "Dear...what makes you think I wouldn't destroy you anyway?"

The first thing I wrote was the very last sentence, (what makes you think I wouldn't destroy you, anyway?). The second thing was the name of the story, Foregone Conclusion. Everything else spiraled from there. I wanted the story to be short, because I wanted it to be shocking, and sort of come out of nowhere, like you looked away from the road for a moment and smashed into a building; I wanted you to feel like Eurania did, because I really liked her as a character. You'll notice I left her death ambiguous. This is almost meant to be a subversion of the conclusion you've reached. Yeah, I'm toying around with a lot of ideas, that's what I wanted to do with Dragon.

I'm aware Eurania forfeiting seems like a cop-out, but I'm reasonably certain it's in character. Eurania isn't a physical fighter, she's a passive fighter. She crushes people's emotions, making them unwilling to fight. This strategy will not work with Dragon. Thus the name of the short.

The only things that are described in detail are things Dragon can destroy; conversely, these are things Eurania may be seeking. Both of them take something away from everything, but they take away two fundamentally different and opposite things; Eurania preserves things eternally, while Dragon destroys them. Of course, if that's the case, and Dragon is a force of destruction, why wasn't the temple razed to the ground?

That's because Eurania was having an influence on Dragon, just not as strong as she had hoped. As I mentioned before, about halfway through (specifically, when Eurania tells Dragon what her name is), the viewpoint switches to Eurania's; it's hard to notice, at least it's supposed to be, but if you look for it, Dragon's thoughts stop being expressed, but his movements become more important. Eurania would only have the faintest idea what Dragon is doing, and absolutely no idea why. They do have a psychological battle, but Eurania is unequipped to fight something like Dragon, which makes you wonder why he bothered fighting her that way in the first place; clearly he could just smash her to pieces and leave it at that. But Eurania made a choice; she chose to bow out, because she realized she couldn't defeat Dragon. Did Dragon make any such choice? Could he have made a choice, or is he following a strict pattern? Are both of them?

I wanted you to stop and think to yourself, what were you expecting in the first place? Did the conclusion you reached occur? Did it happen the way you thought it would? Was there a conclusion at all? And how does that make you feel?

I won't lie; it's complex, probably too complex, and too simple at the same time. I've been told I shouldn't write in a way that make people think so much (although in a different context); however, I stand by my entry. It isn't a masterpiece, but it's a great way to start out.

There might be one thing I would change if I could; I had my dad look over the entry after I'd posted it. He said the story would be better if Eurania killed Phoenix by turning him into crystal, because his beauty would be preserved forever. I'm not sure he's wrong.

Apologies Abound