rackham234 said:
Recently, my girlfriend dumped me. I'd rather not go into the reasons, but let's just say it left me pretty devastated. It's been about a month or so, but I still get some unpleasant pangs of loneliness. Does anyone have any tips on getting over someone, outside of getting another girlfriend?
Firstly, as with all emotional injuries, the only thing that fixes it is time. It sounds like the break up wasn't too good for you, which means that until you're ready to get back on the horse and try your hand at romance again, those "pangs" as you call them, are going to be around for a while. There are ways to stop them quicker, but most of them aren't very healthy ways to go about it.
As previously mentioned, one of the ways is to go and sleep with someone random. I've taken that path, and while it did lessen the pain of the breakup, it kind of put me in a darker place then I cared to be in. It's not a move that gives you perspective. In fact it kind of lessens it.
Another way I've seen tried was to make yourself hate the girl you broke up with. It's really easy to pave over loneliness with anger, but it's never healthy to go out of your way to hate someone. Again, you just end up in a much darker place then you really want to end up.
When the loneliness hits, as a lot of people have pointed out, it's never a bad idea to call up some friends and distract yourself. Distraction in general is a nice escape from the loneliness. And enough distraction will help you get over your breakup, that much is true, but honestly, it takes so much longer then embracing your sadness. Allowing yourself to confront it and move past it. Don't go out of your way to destroy your connections to that part of your life. Learn to look at that period of your life for the lessons you've learned, the understanding of the feelings you've felt, and to remember that you're already broken up. That part is over. You can allow yourself to move on.
And finally, embrace the breakup, but not the events that lead up to it. If you do, you're going to find yourself asking questions that you don't need to ask yourself now. Those can be saved for later when you're done being sad over this. Embrace this new era of your life with open arms, and you'll find that you'll be over this sooner then you think.
