The sad little man in the corner needs some advice.

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AWDMANOUT

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Jan 4, 2010
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Yeah. I'm referring to myself. Anyways. The last few threads I've made have all been about this same girl that I'm falling for haha... And we're actually at a point where we've both admitted we like each other. But... she's wary of being in a relationship, because she "knows how I can be". I can occasionally become extremely depressed and even have suicidal tendencies... Trust me, my local law enforcement knows this lol... And she "doesn't want to hurt me if something bad between us happens".

Fellow Escapists, I like this girl a whole lot and have for a long time. Should I say something to convince her otherwise? What should I say? I have no other outlet for advice, so any input would be met with gratification on my end.
 

delet

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Nov 2, 2008
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You should probably work on getting through your depression first before getting into a relationship. Many people can easily break after going through a bad break up and if you're already depressed, that may not end well. Hell, if you've already attempted suicide a few times you're probably more likely not to be too good at handling it.

If you can get through your depression then you should be a much happier person. Being with her then would likely be much better for ya.
 

Old Hat

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Apr 20, 2010
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AWDMANOUT said:
I can occasionally become extremely depressed and even have suicidal tendencies... Trust me, my local law enforcement knows this lol...
Yep, that's pretty hilarious, alright.
 

twasdfzxcv

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Mar 30, 2010
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As the great God Elvis once said, "a little less conversation, a little more action, please". Instead of thinking what you can say to convince her, think about what you can do to convince her. I'd start out by getting out of that corner of yours.
 

Dr. wonderful

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Dec 31, 2009
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...You should try to seek help with the depression before getting into a relationship. If only to prove that you ready to try this thing.
 

AWDMANOUT

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Jan 4, 2010
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Old Hat said:
AWDMANOUT said:
I can occasionally become extremely depressed and even have suicidal tendencies... Trust me, my local law enforcement knows this lol...
Yep, that's pretty hilarious, alright.
Haha, I have a tendency to laugh at my own misfortunes.
 

thatstheguy

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Dec 27, 2008
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Threaten to go suicidal again if she doesn't go out with you

OT: If you've gotten to the point where you're asking people on the internet on how to talk to people in real life, that might be you're problem. I'd recommend working on the whole direct conversation skills.
 

unoleian

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Jul 2, 2008
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Aside from just simply being the awesome person you know you can be and showing that, there's no real "convincing" that any amount of talk will fulfill.
Just do what you do best, focus only on the positive, and if it's meant to happen, the pieces will fall into place. Endlessly dwelling on what "might happen" is bad for everyone involved, whether it's on her end or a repeated attempt to 'argue' otherwise on your behalf.


But that's just my opinion.
 

The Austin

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Jul 20, 2009
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Work on your depression first.

If you get over it, make sweet, sweet love to her.
[sub]Bah Chicka Wa-Wa![/sub]

If you don't get over the depression, than tell her that you think being with her can make you happy.
I don't know.
That's my guess, I'm not the best on relationships.
Take my advice with a spoonful of salt.
 

Wedlock49

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May 5, 2010
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she's a ***** and leave her to it.

I didn't read past "I know how you can be", if she can't accept your flaws she sure as hell doesn't deserve anything else from you. You should be looking for someone who's good enough for you not the other way around.

I've played the game where I was the one with the flaws and it always ends with you hurting and her blaming everything on you.

__

Ok, just decided to read the rest of it... sounds to me like she's giving herself a get-out clause. If she's not willing to take risks for you how do you know that she'll stick by you when things start getting hard? Every relationship has rocky stages how sure are you that she wont just up and leave?
 

fletch_talon

Elite Member
Nov 6, 2008
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Only on the internet can you see something like this.

"Lulz, I totally want to kill myself, seriously ask local law enforcement. Its all good though, so help me hook up with this chick."

I'm not intending to offend you, but get some fucking help. If your mind is that fucked that it prompts you to end it all (or less likely if your life is really bad enough to warrant it) then get help. You know you have a problem so maybe, instead of shrugging it off and asking us to help you convince a potential girlfriend to do the same...

GET HELP

And as has been said, the best advice that can be given is not to pursue a relationship until you're shit is sorted, she shouldn't be forced to deal with that kind of thing. Also she's obviously (based on what you've told us) worried that she'll be unable to leave the relationship if it isn't working out, for fear of pushing you over the edge.
 

Glamorgan

Seer of Light
Aug 16, 2009
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AWDMANOUT said:
Yeah. I'm referring to myself. Anyways. The last few threads I've made have all been about this same girl that I'm falling for haha... And we're actually at a point where we've both admitted we like each other. But... she's wary of being in a relationship, because she "knows how I can be". I can occasionally become extremely depressed and even have suicidal tendencies... Trust me, my local law enforcement knows this lol... And she "doesn't want to hurt me if something bad between us happens".

Fellow Escapists, I like this girl a whole lot and have for a long time. Should I say something to convince her otherwise? What should I say? I have no other outlet for advice, so any input would be met with gratification on my end.
I was in a similar situation. I really liked a girl, and she liked me. But she knew that I have periods of severe depression, and was wary of saying yes. In the end, she decided to say no, and we are now over each other. Well, according to her. I still like her.
The best advice I can give you is to take it really slowly. Don't try and convince her of anything, but the next time something fucks up bad, don't act so depressed. If you can show her you aren't doing so badly, you might stand a chance.
Good luck anyhow
 

Yureina

Who are you?
May 6, 2010
7,098
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Fix yourself first before you try to pursue this much further. I have to do something similar over the next weeks, because I am tired of living how I have been. If you take care of your own problems, then everything should probably be better. and so will allow you to move on. :)
 

Deviltongue

New member
Feb 2, 2008
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You don't want my advice. I have the tendency to make depressed people more depressed because it pisses me off that they're depressed. So I'll give the generic response:
1) See a Doctor
2) Get some Prozac
3)???
4)PROFIT!!!
 

Forgetitnow344

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Jan 8, 2010
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The Austin said:
If you don't get over the depression, than tell her that you think being with her can make you happy.
Whatever you do, make sure it isn't this.

Get over yourself before you try to take on something else. A relationship means eventually you will share each others' fortunes and misfortunes. Can you bear in your state to handle it if something bad happened in her life and she needed support? Do you think it's fair to lump your problems onto her?

Deal with yourself first.
 

Redalert9r9r

New member
Apr 9, 2010
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Like most other people have stated, begin working on the depression first, either see a professional or get on some meds (provided you are of age) then work it out with her. Speaking as someone with mild depression but also someone in a very successful relationship, it is very rewarding to carry on a relationship that is meant to be and she can help you through tough times, but don't throw it all on her, get some help, then talk to her.

A capable partnership is more help than all the professional antidepressant solutions in the world, but it wouldn't hurt to start small.

Let us know how it goes, and good luck to you.
 

Olikunmissile

New member
Jul 16, 2008
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AWDMANOUT said:
Yeah. I'm referring to myself. Anyways. The last few threads I've made have all been about this same girl that I'm falling for haha... And we're actually at a point where we've both admitted we like each other. But... she's wary of being in a relationship, because she "knows how I can be". I can occasionally become extremely depressed and even have suicidal tendencies... Trust me, my local law enforcement knows this lol... And she "doesn't want to hurt me if something bad between us happens".

Fellow Escapists, I like this girl a whole lot and have for a long time. Should I say something to convince her otherwise? What should I say? I have no other outlet for advice, so any input would be met with gratification on my end.
I was going to troll (too much 4chan time me thinks)

My honest advice, and only because I asked the girl I am seeing to become a proper relationship and told me she doesn't want to rush into anything, is to tell her exactly this.

"Yeah I can get down at times, I mean like, really really down. But I like you, and you know it. I'm more than willing do everything I can do to make us work. I'll cut all the bullshit, trust me" (optional part if you like her as much as you say you do) "I'll do my best to change, whatever it takes to give us a shot at something real."

Not calling whatever your reasons for trying stuff bullshit, but it's what she needs to hear.

If she says no then you might just have to either let it be and give her time, or see it as something casual from there on.