The second coming of Christ

[Blazing Bird]

When Jesus of Nazareth preached back in the days of yore, his sermons would be full of parables, stories that the average bum on the street could understand. He compared faith to Farming, Fishing, raising livestock, and being kicked around by rich people. These were all indicative of the lives biblical people lived.

It's my theory that the second time around, Jesus shall communicate almost entirely in pop culture references. Nerds have inherited the earth, and if christ were to return now, every word out of his mouth would be something related to video games, movies, or other forms of popularized mass media.

"Two brothers sat playing call of duty..." Eh, eh?

Questions?

 

[Hiname]

Tempting.

I will become a pious christian if Jesus steps up, bitchslaps the pope over the table, sits down and says "U jelly?"..

 

[aba1]

He will have to do somthing different or he will just end up in the lunny bin

 

[Dirkie]

So you assume he has not been here already in the form of John Lennon?

 

[Nick_Snyder]

This made me laugh, thanks for making a bleak day not so bleak!

 

[Stephen Wo]

I think with the way cynicism is growing, we won't know him from a nutjob in Central Park. Heck, he could've already been here.

 

[Artina89]

Tempting.

I will become a pious christian if Jesus steps up, bitchslaps the pope over the table, sits down and says "U jelly?"..

You mean like this?


The confusion that occured when my dad woke me up shouting "A woman has lunged wildly at the pope!" I thought I was still dreaming, or drunk from the night before.

 

[FalloutJack]

Er, yeah... You DO realize that your whole statement is - in fact - ridiculous, right? Just checking.

 

[teh_Canape]

Jesus will come

and he well be a brony

 

[Gennadios]

The average bum on the street, eh?

So Jesus 2.0 works for fox news. Last I checked they don't discuss geek culture unless its to scare people away from it.

 

[LordOmnit]

I expect him to make clouds in the sky in the likeness of this:

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PS- as a miracle ya know.

 

[FalloutJack]

I think with the way cynicism is growing, we won't know him from a nutjob in Central Park. Heck, he could've already been here.

I'm sorry, but I had to stop you there because, at the time, Jesus WAS thought of as a nutjob by those who weren't following him. So, in other words, he already knows how to handle that.

 

[Fiirdraak]

So, about all the theories of Him arriving in silence. How about what reads in the Bible of Him arriving in a similar fashion and power as how a lightning flashes from east to west? Can't really say that is subtle, eh? I mean, to me that sounds more like "the mountains melting, stars falling and so on".

 

[2fish]

Thou shalt not t-bag lest ye be t-bagged.

I do have one question for you op.

Will Jesus's dad be that overbearing religious dad that won't let him play with anything that could be made of satan? I knew that kid once, I always felt sorry for him since he could never go anywhere with everyone else.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Christ hung around with the rejects of society in those days. Thus he'd hang around with the rejects of society today.
Bums, drug addicts, shunned homosexuals, loners. People who's lives have been destroyed by circumstance.

 

[Aris Khandr]

I can has redempshunz?

No, probably not. I've got better things to do with my life than wait around for a guy who died almost 2,000 years ago to come back. Gandalf and Harry Potter both came back a lot faster.

 

[Stephen Wo]

I think with the way cynicism is growing, we won't know him from a nutjob in Central Park. Heck, he could've already been here.

I'm sorry, but I had to stop you there because, at the time, Jesus WAS thought of as a nutjob by those who weren't following him. So, in other words, he already knows how to handle that.

My friend, I will have to disagree. If the stories written by a few people from thousands of years ago and their brothers still hold up, you will notice that Jesus was hailed as he came into towns. Huge masses of people attended his sermons. People came to him for help and advice. The religious leaders had Pontious kill him because he was a threat.

 

[Zelda_Lover26]

When Jesus of Nazareth preached back in the days of yore, his sermons would be full of parables, stories that the average bum on the street could understand. He compared faith to Farming, Fishing, raising livestock, and being kicked around by rich people. These were all indicative of the lives biblical people lived.

It's my theory that the second time around, Jesus shall communicate almost entirely in pop culture references. Nerds have inherited the earth, and if christ were to return now, every word out of his mouth would be something related to video games, movies, or other forms of popularized mass media.

"Two brothers sat playing call of duty..." Eh, eh?

Questions?

You know, I was going to say something against this, but.... that would make a bit of sense.... If nothing else, it would throw a lot of other religious folks for a loop.

I don't know, it makes sense to me, anyway. Then again, I'm not what you'd call the most religious person in the world...

 

[FalloutJack]

I think with the way cynicism is growing, we won't know him from a nutjob in Central Park. Heck, he could've already been here.

I'm sorry, but I had to stop you there because, at the time, Jesus WAS thought of as a nutjob by those who weren't following him. So, in other words, he already knows how to handle that.

My friend, I will have to disagree. If the stories written by a few people from thousands of years ago and their brothers still hold up, you will notice that Jesus was hailed as he came into towns. Huge masses of people attended his sermons. People came to him for help and advice. The religious leaders had Pontious kill him because he was a threat.

Ah, but not at first. What I'm saying is that he had to work at it and he didn't have a massive flock to start with. He had skeptics, it is true.