The Sydney Funnel Web: Unfair

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Shapsters

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Dec 16, 2008
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Labyrinth said:
Huntsmen are harmless, they're just ugly. They also kill mosquitoes which is why I don't object to them taking up residence in my house. That is until they start spawning and then I scowl a bit.
.... Woah, woah, woah... are you telling me if you saw that on your wall, you would just shrug it off? Are you serious?! Good lord, the very thought of something like that prevents me from ever going to Australia!

But, I suppose to you guys, its not that bad because you probably have seen worse many times, but my biggest predator where I live is the friggin mosquitoes! Not exactly that... thing.
 

Shapsters

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Ultrajoe said:
Caimekaze said:
Do you mind if I contribute my own little bit on a lovely poisonous fish that graces our waters?
Given that this thread has become about all things nasty (Reptile Park: Visit It.) I see no reason why not.

Labyrinth said:
Ultrajoe said:
In other news, I looked up the effects of a bite from a Blue-Ring octupus. They do not need repeating. Things with 8 legs suck.
Please, they're badass.
In the same way Nukes are badass and awesome. Very much so, but not when they're raping you.
Blue ringed octopus are bad little fuckers! Damn things will kill you before you can even say,

"Oh, what a lovely little octopus!"
 

Stevedave00

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Apr 20, 2009
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Nmil-ek said:
Yeah thats a pretty creepy spider, yup.

Anyway Ill just leave this here for the braver of you and be on my way then shall I?

[http://img31.imageshack.us/i/camelspiderflytying.jpg/]
I dislike you, What IS that??
 

Matty819

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Jun 11, 2009
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japlandweirdling said:
Bernzz said:
japlandweirdling said:
hehe, go australia and our bad ass animals and such, but, being here in South Australia, we dont really hav the sydney funnel web spider...im not sure if we have anything more poison ous than red backs (nasty lil fuckers) and huntsmen spiders (ugly big fuckers) and a collection of snakes and the odd shark of our coast...although i despise it, i can see where people get the idea that it is a dangerous place
You live in SA? Where, exactly?
west sa-iide just out of adelaide
:O im from mitchell park, sorta west-ish

Shapsters said:
Ultrajoe said:
Caimekaze said:
Do you mind if I contribute my own little bit on a lovely poisonous fish that graces our waters?
Given that this thread has become about all things nasty (Reptile Park: Visit It.) I see no reason why not.

Labyrinth said:
Ultrajoe said:
In other news, I looked up the effects of a bite from a Blue-Ring octupus. They do not need repeating. Things with 8 legs suck.
Please, they're badass.
In the same way Nukes are badass and awesome. Very much so, but not when they're raping you.
Blue ringed octopus are bad little fuckers! Damn things will kill you before you can even say,

"Oh, what a lovely little octopus!"
Actually to my knowledge the blue ringed octopus paralyses you so you cant breath, you die from suffercation, if you give them cpr till someone brings the anti venom you can survive it.

Box jellyfish, now thats something im staying the hell away from. (good thing i dont live in queensland)
 

Caimekaze

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Feb 2, 2008
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For all it's nasty creatures, many people are drawn to Australia due to one of its more beautiful of locations, the Great Barrier Reef.
But even that has it's dangers.
I'd like to introduce you to the most venomous fish known to the world:
Not very visible, is it?
It's also not very nice. It possesses thirteen little death points on its back, with two venom sacks attached to each. Why two? Because that way it can hurt you more.
Like nearly all of Australia's wildlife, it uses neurotoxins to inflict more pain than you can imagine. Victims of this bastard, who survive long enough to get to a hospital, are often reported to be screaming to have the stung limb amputated to stop the pain, despite the limb's health.

There are no real pictures of the result of a stonefish's sting, as there are two states. Fully healed, or dead.

This fish isn't aggressive. It just sits there and laughs at you when you mistake it for a stone and step on it. Then snickers while you writhe in agony, knowing full well you could easily die. Why so easily, you may ask. After all, the venom takes several hours to kill, you say. Well, if you step on this bastard with any degree of force its spines are likely to go deep into your foot.
After which will follow shock, paralysis and tissue death.

Paralysis. Underwater. This bastard doesn't even try to kill you; it stings you and laughs as you drown, unable to move.

They have no need for this ability either. They don't use their venom to hunt, and fish aren't renowned for their stepping abilities. This fish seems designed to punish exploratory humans and them only. It's the reef's way of saying "Get out! We don't want your kind here!"

So remember: When exploring the reef, wear foot protection.
 

Gruthar

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Mar 27, 2009
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Actually, I'm more fascinated than frightened by Australia's insect life. I would love to spend a couple hours observing bulldog ants, though they may leap onto me and proceed to sting the crap out of me. Arachnids are the most interesting to watch. I'd be crazy enough to keep a SFW as a pet. I've kept Western Black Widows, Arizona Bark Scorpions, as well as a couple of other species of less-poisonous arachnids (moved on to ant colonies for the moment.) I could sit there for hours and watch my spiders go about their business... makes for convenient moth/cricket/pest disposal too.

But, to further along the 'nightmare critter' aspect of this thread, allow me to introduce the Belostomatidae family.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_water_bug

It doesn't look too scary, but looks can be deceiving. My friend used to keep one in a fish tank. He eventually released it because it was too expensive to keep (the damn thing went through fish like candy.) By far, watching it eat is the most gruesome thing I've ever witnessed (picture a toad being fiercely arrested by powerful claws, then having its insides liquefied and gradually sucked out, an empty bag of skin and bones remaining.) Supposedly it has one of the most painful bites of any insect, but I don't want to be the one to find out. At least it's not lethal to humans...
 

Ultrajoe

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Apr 24, 2008
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Zeeky_Santos said:
Also, on a related note... Come to Australia! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I]
I can't believe I didn't link this earlier. On a fun note, that little leaping death-koala lives at the reptile park, unless I'm mistaking that fence and enclosure for another that looks exactly like it. Still, a good lesson that looking cute is just another way of saying 'I Thrive On Deception'.
 

Nmil-ek

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Dec 16, 2008
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Stevedave00 said:
Nmil-ek said:
Yeah thats a pretty creepy spider, yup.

Anyway Ill just leave this here for the braver of you and be on my way then shall I?

[http://img31.imageshack.us/i/camelspiderflytying.jpg/]
I dislike you, What IS that??
Sun spider also known as the camel spider primaraly found in deserts.
 

Matty819

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Jun 11, 2009
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WanderFreak said:
Zeeky_Santos said:
Also, on a related note... Come to Australia! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I]
And that is why koalas are awesome. They're all cute and cuddly, but so help you if you fuck with them.

Also I really need to stop looking in this thread, all these spider pics. Every time a piece of fluff lands on me I have a full body spasm and leap out of my chair.
Same with wombats.

Dont ever ever ever kick a wombat.....

His faster then you....
 

Caimekaze

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Feb 2, 2008
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Matty819 said:
WanderFreak said:
Zeeky_Santos said:
Also, on a related note... Come to Australia! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I]
And that is why koalas are awesome. They're all cute and cuddly, but so help you if you fuck with them.

Also I really need to stop looking in this thread, all these spider pics. Every time a piece of fluff lands on me I have a full body spasm and leap out of my chair.
Same with wombats.

Dont ever ever ever kick a wombat.....

His faster then you....
And stronger. He is definitely stronger than you.
 

olicon

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May 8, 2008
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This must be one of the best thing I've ever read on a forums, ever.
Too bad it scares the crap out of me now. I just recently moved to Sydney, and the wild life down under doesn't exactly warm my heart. From killer sharks to bird-eating spiders, and now this. This is going to make my life a joy.

My only consolation is that my house is bloody cold (no indoor heating FTW!) so these little pricks won't be hiding around here, that's for sure.
I swear, it may be 15 degrees outside, but somehow the inside of my shoes WITH MY FOOT INSIDE manages to be about 10degrees. Isn't that against the first law of thermodynamics?
 

Ultrajoe

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Apr 24, 2008
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olicon said:
This must be one of the best thing I've ever read on a forums, ever.
You just made my day. I'm printing out those words 500 times and rolling in a bath full of good vibes. Don't judge me, it's an ego-fetish.
 

rabidmidget

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Apr 18, 2008
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I remember elvis the crocodile from the last time i went the the reptile park, the zookeeper tried to lure him into the pond with a dead chicken but he was too stubborn. I have lived in australia for my entire life and i have never seen a brown snake in my bath tub, but my washing machine on the other hand...(true story).

Also fun fact about funnel webs
They can survive for lengthy periods of time underwater by trapping water in their hairs and slowing down their metabolisms so i can say from experience, if you catch a dead one in your poll filter, it probably isn't.

God i love this country
 

Labyrinth

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Oct 14, 2007
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Shapsters said:
.... Woah, woah, woah... are you telling me if you saw that on your wall, you would just shrug it off? Are you serious?!
Well.. yeah? They're pretty common anyway. And it amuses me to see the horrified expressions on people's faces when they wander in and realise that no, I don't care that it's sitting there.

Stevedave00 said:

Is the only thing that gives me nightmares.
Guess what! Over here, they fly.
 

Ultrajoe

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Apr 24, 2008
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Labyrinth said:
Guess what! Over here, they fly.
In big groups, and their instinct is to fly towards sources of warmth. This includes your face, and up your nostrils and mouth.