The Sydney Funnel Web: Unfair

[IceStar100]

I now belivie in in haven and hell. You Aussy live in hell.

 

[Lonko]

Quick note: You cannot drive to Ayers Rock in a day, this country is not small, we just hug the edges because the inside is really hot and we like to keep it beautiful and building-free.

My old school used to have this exchange student program going on with some American school. When they arrived, rather than spend time in our classes (which I always thought was the point of exchange programs), wanted to check out Australia. For example, they wished to drive up to Darwin (from Sydney) for pancakes. Why Darwin and why pancakes, I shall never know.

 

[Time Travelling Toaster]

Thank fuck I live in Scotland after seeing all of these animals :|, we have puff adders(very rarely) and freaky big unharmful spiders, so I think I'll stick to the cold climate here rather than have slightly warmer temperatures and about every possible area of the world trying to kill me or harm me in some way, The Stinging Tree, seriously? What the fuck?

 

[Ultrajoe]

The Stinging Tree, seriously? What the fuck?

Artist's Impression​

 

[King_Julian]

ah how lovely it is to live in ireland where the scariest most lethal thing we have are the leprechauns, seriously they will mess you up!!!

na seriously though australia is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be even though i have a terrible fear of spiders.

am going over to youtube to look at some more funnel webs.

 

[Matty819]

Im from adelaide (yep the city the TF2 sniper is supposed to be from, Ha take that victoria ) and i remember growing up and learning, You see a snake or spider, turn around and move speedily away, cause you will die....

Having said that most of these animals dont scare me, infact there was a baby brown snake (those from here would know how deadly they are)in my factory a few months ago.

Except spiders.....i hate spiders. They all need to die, evil walking death machines....

 

[Aardvark Soup]

Wow, you officialy made me Australiaphobic. I'm glad the most terrifying animals in my country are the tick (that can be easily removed but can potentially carry Lyme disease), rabid foxes or dogs (very small chance you actually encounter one) and other animals that might carry some kind of disease with them. The only animal that is actually dangerous when not carrying a disease is the European adder (the last person killed by it was an English kid 20 years ago, if it is cornered and it bites a human there is only a small chance it will actually use its poison and only kids and old people can get slightly ill from its effects).

 

[Labyrinth]

*snip*

There's one of those up at my local scout camp. It has a wasp-nest between two branches.

Suck it up!

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

I've heard of those. I understand that they are the only spiders on the planet who will chase a human down even when nothing was done to provoke them. That's scary, even before you know the symptoms.

That's the Wolf Spider (I know, could it be named more ressuringly?), I'd like to stress that when in that reared up pose the Funnelweb can't actually move, and won't come down from that pose until it thinks you're gone. You can lower your fingers down over it like a cage and not get bitten, not that you would. It can't run, either, its only fatalaties (or indeed, any bites) are caused when people disturb them or put on clothing with these in them.

But it is, in fact, a nasty grumpy little sucker and is known for being as agressive as it is lethal. It can't bite you easily, but by god will it bite you if it can.[/quote]

Yeah if i saw one o those reared up like that, my reaction would probably be to burn it with a can of something+ my zippo... and wolf spiders I am very familiar with, y'see I get bitten by wolf spiders once or twice a month and find them crushed in my bed by me rolling over on them after they bite me... every time i see a wolf spider i kill it. hell I kill spiders flies ants mosquitos moths. hell anything dumb enough to go into my room will end it's life in my room generally to being crushed or shot or burned...

so yeah... I hate spiders, and that is one thing i am glad to live on the other side of the globe from it.

 

[Fostaar]

if you can engineer it to have a three metre leg span i will make it my life's goal to clone a haast eagle from the DNA found in sub fossil bone marrow and we might be able to settle this silly rivalry once and for all

 

[Falconknight06]

See, now I'm never going into my basement again. And my Playstation is down there, as well as a majority of the cloth things that either go in my room or on my body. I think I need to sue whoever the hell put that picture of a Huntsman up. Dad went to Australia on a business trip a few years back, so he told me about the Funnel-Web. He did not tell me about the arachnids the size of your face. I think I know why. That thing freaked me out.

Oh, yeah, about the dangerous animals in my area: nil. This is why I live in Northwestern Ohio.

NW Ohio is where I'm from originally. The deadliest things we have are Ticks and they're only deadly part of the time. Tornadoes are nasty buggers though.

P.S. I live in Athens, Ohio now and though we also have Ticks, we've got snakes down here too.

 

[Nimbus]

Wow, that's impressive. I wonder if it's possible to fumigate a country...

 

[Ushario]

*bastard tree of death*

I got stung by one of those. On my 21st Birthday while fishing. Accidently walked past one and brushed up against it (more like a giant weed shrub than anything else)...and bam. I've got red spots all over me and feel like I'm on fire. My eyes swelled shut from the allergic reaction I had as well.

My only cure was a bottle of Rum. Thank god for alcohol and damn him for his murderous creations!

Edit: The Brown snake isn't capable of eating a human being. It eats rodents, lizards, frogs etc. It will only bite a human if it feels threatened.

 

[WolfThomas]

Bah, she'll be right

 

[Ultrajoe]

It will only bite a human if it feels threatened.

Or bored. Given the lack of justifications for half of the crap in this thread I wouldn't put it past these things to keep score.

I'm off for the night folks, but thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread, it's been damn fun and I hope I got a chuckle out of a few of you, and perhaps an extra few of you to think about visiting the reptile park. I may have raped out tourism economy, though. Oh well, more for me. It's good to see we can have a thread in off-topic that isn't all very silly seriousness. Goodnight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

Which Screaming 50 Faces Do You See In That Shining Liquid? I See Your Family. All Of Your Family. And You.​

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Oh yeah. Note. Those trees with the poisonous hair? That only really affects us primates as well.

Birds eat the leaves right on up.

Humans seem to be shafted in australia. Hard. 2-3 times an hour.

 

[Nmil-ek]

Yeah thats a pretty creepy spider, yup.

Anyway Ill just leave this here for the braver of you and be on my way then shall I?

Spoiler

[http://img31.imageshack.us/i/camelspiderflytying.jpg/]

 

[hypothetical fact]

Ever notice how 'Arachnid' sounds a bit like 'Anti-christ'? No? Have you ever noticed that some spiders are scary little suckers that hang in midair supported by silk cables that are stronger then steel and wait for shit to blunder into them? I assume you have, because occasionally people blunder into them and scream like a little girl because their face is all sticky. Well, this spider isn't like that. This spider doesn't hang in midair because Sephiroth already claimed the title 'Most Unholy Evil Prick To Float In The Sky'. The only reason it doesn't swim is because Cthulhu most likely lives off the Australian coast and there would be a turf war. We'll get to him later, there's a point to this story.

Alright I can wait for the point.

This spider is proof of God, proof that he's a malicious ass who feeds on tears and makes anime music videos of rape scenes to 'Yakity Sax'.

Most Australians don't believe our country is as bad as foreigners make out. We laugh as we are told that our wildlife is evil, chuckle and shake our heads as people declare our enviroment 'Hellish' and go back to digging up our martian red soil in the 35 degree heat. Hellish? Mate, this is paradise. Even that little bit of hyperbole was stretching things, we have some fantastic rainforests and utterly adorable swamps and wetlands and things. In short, we don't think our country is as nightmare fuelish as we are told it is... But what if it is!?

Foreshadowing a point but we aren't there yet.

Last weekend was my Sisters birthday (The Ultra Joe has Siblings!?, do they get together and crush small nations!? As we live in different states, not so much) and as she is still of the age where she uses a training sword and can barely maul a bull elephant, and because I was in the state and the very earth cowered in fear, we decided to go and visit the Australian Reptile Park, a place now #1 on my list of 'stupid-as-dick places to seek refuge during a zombie apocalypse'. For those of you who don't know, australias reptiles aren't the most acoomodating bunch. We have the largest reptile, in the world, most commonly known as the saltwater crocodile and frequently reffered to as 'Liquid Fear'.

No point here, I'll keep looking.

It had more than just reptiles, as it turns out.

We followed this one funny chap around the park as he did talks on all of the Iconic Australian animals and proved that you don't need to be sensible to work with creatures capable of removing your fingers, arms or immolating your living soul. We watched him cheerfully fish around inside a hollow log for a Tasmanian Devil (Devil.) with his bare hand, and drag the screaming (Yes, they scream like a black god) little dervish out of the darkness. This little sucker can flood it's ears with blood to make them glow red, because it feeds on your fear. If there was a superhero named Tazzy Devil, he would eat Wolverine alive, bones and all. We watched this insane zookeeper tease them with a bloody kangaroo leg and then watched these furry chainsaws eat it. All of it.

Still no point, just a blog that wandered from facebook.

Then he fed a 3 meter long crocodile named Elvis, I can only assume he was named Elvis because he likes to consume his own weight in hamburgers daily and can never truly die. The rotten chicken (apparently they like eating old corpses, which raises the question of how there got to be new corpses.) was so badly decayed that it fell off the feeding stick and he was forced to prove he has a deathwish and grab it out from near its mouth and toss it at the God-Lizard before he finally munched it down with one bite. For anyone who thinks this isn't that stupid, let me stress that a Salty is not your basic 'Gator. It's a Croc. In a later show he (yes, he survives to give more talks) hands a juvenile 'Gator to some little girl he dragged into the show pit because these things are really just moving logs that snap at passing carrion. An Australian Salty equivalent was brought in, and made every attempt to go beserk and eat the trainer, the little girl, the Gator and the show pit itself. They are not friendly.

Quite a blog but you mentioned a point?

He fed some dingo's, letting the things lick all over his face in a display not unlike standing on a shooting range covered in big magnets. Why you would let the asshole of the canine world (think wolf without the class ) taste you!? You can't tame these things, they will maul and defile your corpse in an attempt to become the Alpha male. These things can take down a cow weighing hundreds of kilos trying to kick it's face in, do you think swatting it with a newspaper will stop it feeding you your own asshole?

And the snakes. Oh god, the snakes. There was a show on the snakes (I'm not even going to tell you about the show, this man is the Anti-Murphys-Law), and a large hall or two in the very cool reptile cave-thing. As stated, I have never thought of my country as Evil or that dangerous, but the nameplates alone started to erode my indoctrinated self-assurance. Death Adder. Red Bellied Black Snake (it even looks demonic). Feirce Snake. Taipan. Do you know what Taipan means in Japanese? It means 'Big Boss'. That's right, the son of a ***** Solid Snake was cloned from and who routinely kicked the collective asses of the world probably had to beg and plead to get his name from an Autralian Snake. What the hell, God!? Add in the fact that the most asshole slithery thing in the place is named simply 'Brown Snake' (perhaps the color of your trousers after you find one in your bath. I kid you not) and we get a kind of sick understanding of the creator of this continent. It was dawning on me that perhaps I was the one ignorant of the true nature of my beloved land down under.

It is too well written for facebook but I hardly see how this blog belongs on a public forum.

The turning point was the Spiders.
I can live with the trees with the poison hair (every other tree forms a symbiotic relationship with animals, using them to spread seeds. There is no excuse for this tree, it is simply a jerk). I can live with the poison-torpedo shooting seashells. I forgave the jellyfish. I can look past the snakes. I can forgive the fact that both of our national animals routinely maul tourists who think they're cute, rather than malevolent and twitchy sacks of hate equipped with sonic-ram-legs. I can forgive the Blue Ringed Octopus. I can forgive the fact that Spore: Australia Edition would be MA 15+. But I cannot forgive the Sydney Funnel Web. Not in a million years will there ever be an excuse for the Sydney Funnel Web.

This is #1 on 'shit you don't want to bite you'. Period. If you get bitten by a snake, you have over 4 hours until the damage becomes chronic and sometimes up to 12 before you keel over dead (it's the heat and long distances to hospitals that make australia so nasty with snakes, that and the fact that our snakes have venom you could clean grease stains with). Not so with the SFW, the record for surviving this Eight-Legged-Armaggedon is an Hour and sixteen minutes. The record. That was a healthy, very healthy man, fully hydrated and who knew how to treat the wound and stem the flow of poison and had god on his side (fickle ass). You, unprepared and unaware, will last 40 minutes, maximum. Think about how long that is, that's not a long time. That's not counting the fact that your fate is sealed after about 25 minutes, mind you, and you'd better hope the ambulance reaches you in time.

I can see some resemblence between these paragraphs and the thread title but a quick google search will teach much more with much less window dressing.

Let me give you a rundown of what a whack from this thing will do to you:

1) Agonising Pain. Not 'ow, put an ice-block on that' agony, but roll on the floor and beg for death agony. Neurotoxin is an utter ***** and will rape your nerve endings and make you see Satan.
2) Drooling. Not spit, not the pre-vomit wet-mouthness. After only 5 minutes you will drool so much and so uncontrollably you can barely breath or speak, making calling for help really hard. Did we mention agony more extreme than anything you have ever felt?
3) After this point, the fun stuff starts. You will cry, pee and crap blood, you will drool and vomit blood and the agony that once made you want to cut off your bitten limb has now spread to your entire body and is making every nerve scream for death.

And this little prick of an animal will bite you multiple times, if he can get you, because he feeds on your tears.

You die at this point. Ambulance drivers don't rush for snake bites, save to spare you prolonged pain before you get the cure. They will run red lights, scrape up against other cars and mount the sidewalk to get a funnelweb victim to the hospital, because after they've got there the guy is usually crying blood already.

Is this an essay, a blog or a colourful factsheet about funnelweb spiders? Either way it isn't a thread and it isn't a point.

If it bites your hand and you survive (making you honorarily Ultra), you will lose fingers, if it bites your foot be prepared to lose it, if it bites your face you're about to become one ugly fucker. Most of Australia's wildlife gets exaggerated in its lethality (at least I thought it did), even though everything here bar the sheep spit poison (the trees, damnit! Poison Trees!), but not the funnelweb.

I wouldn't mind the evil bastards if they lived out in the western wastes like all the rest of our anti-christ animals, but this is the, by name: Sydney Funnel Web. How is this fair? It's like having the 'Suburban Sewer Grizzly', and it weilds a chainsaw. For god's sake, it's not even a restrained arachnid bastard, it's known for being an agressive little fuck. The males, the ones with venom 10 times more potent than the females (that's right, 10 times) are designed to wander looking for females, who hide in (duh) funnel webs. Let me spell that out: It's an agressive, sadistic, overly toxic hairy asshole and it's made to wander all over sydney crawling into warm and enclosed spaces like your shoes and gloves and houses, and it can bite through your toenail when you have the audacity to wake it up in the morning. It's vexom has Hemotoxic, Neurotoxic and Necrotic effects. I don't know what that last part means exactly but Necrotic is never good and it may raise you as a zombie. Not fair.

This is what gets me. Not that it's evil, not that it's deadly, not that i'd rather burn to death while drowning rather than die of this thing, but that it has evolved and adapted in a short period of time to make Sydney (and you thought the cities were safe...) it's stomping ground. It's not natural, it's vindictive. It's proof of a malevolent God and i'll dare any person to be bitten by this sucker and not beg for divine intervention.

Did you write all of this out of boredom, a cry for attention or a genuine desire to teach everyone about wildlife, in which case a link to any academic paper on wildlife would teach much more.

-----​

The Point Of This Thread: The Aussie reptile park is a private venture, it gets no funding for the amazing conservation work it does for Tazzy Devils and several other endangered species. The only thing seperating these adorable and deadly critters from leaving us forever is the entry fees of those who visit the good people there.

If you wanted to see all these deadly creatures (and a whole bunch of non-lethal and cute/awesome ones as well) in a safe place, the Reptile Park is the place to go. The crazy guys there are friendly, warm and often hilarious. They love their jobs. If you're a local, a tourist, or want to see a grown man piss of an Eight-legged Satan for your amusement (and then learn to survive it), then drop by. Nature will spare you one horrible death.

An advert... You went through an essays' worth of words just to advertise a reptile park. I can understand that you are passionate about these creatures right now or are just being paid; regardless when the point is to advertise, it is spam. You have posed well written, clearly though out spam, but it is still spam. I have nothing against you but please keep the adverts to yourself.

 

[Gestapo Hunter]

hey Ultrajoe you dont happen to work for Cracked.com do ya?

 

[Gestapo Hunter]

Ever notice how 'Arachnid' sounds a bit like 'Anti-christ'? No? Have you ever noticed that some spiders are scary little suckers that hang in midair supported by silk cables that are stronger then steel and wait for shit to blunder into them? I assume you have, because occasionally people blunder into them and scream like a little girl because their face is all sticky. Well, this spider isn't like that. This spider doesn't hang in midair because Sephiroth already claimed the title 'Most Unholy Evil Prick To Float In The Sky'. The only reason it doesn't swim is because Cthulhu most likely lives off the Australian coast and there would be a turf war. We'll get to him later, there's a point to this story.

Alright I can wait for the point.

This spider is proof of God, proof that he's a malicious ass who feeds on tears and makes anime music videos of rape scenes to 'Yakity Sax'.

Most Australians don't believe our country is as bad as foreigners make out. We laugh as we are told that our wildlife is evil, chuckle and shake our heads as people declare our enviroment 'Hellish' and go back to digging up our martian red soil in the 35 degree heat. Hellish? Mate, this is paradise. Even that little bit of hyperbole was stretching things, we have some fantastic rainforests and utterly adorable swamps and wetlands and things. In short, we don't think our country is as nightmare fuelish as we are told it is... But what if it is!?

Foreshadowing a point but we aren't there yet.

Last weekend was my Sisters birthday (The Ultra Joe has Siblings!?, do they get together and crush small nations!? As we live in different states, not so much) and as she is still of the age where she uses a training sword and can barely maul a bull elephant, and because I was in the state and the very earth cowered in fear, we decided to go and visit the Australian Reptile Park, a place now #1 on my list of 'stupid-as-dick places to seek refuge during a zombie apocalypse'. For those of you who don't know, australias reptiles aren't the most acoomodating bunch. We have the largest reptile, in the world, most commonly known as the saltwater crocodile and frequently reffered to as 'Liquid Fear'.

No point here, I'll keep looking.

It had more than just reptiles, as it turns out.

We followed this one funny chap around the park as he did talks on all of the Iconic Australian animals and proved that you don't need to be sensible to work with creatures capable of removing your fingers, arms or immolating your living soul. We watched him cheerfully fish around inside a hollow log for a Tasmanian Devil (Devil.) with his bare hand, and drag the screaming (Yes, they scream like a black god) little dervish out of the darkness. This little sucker can flood it's ears with blood to make them glow red, because it feeds on your fear. If there was a superhero named Tazzy Devil, he would eat Wolverine alive, bones and all. We watched this insane zookeeper tease them with a bloody kangaroo leg and then watched these furry chainsaws eat it. All of it.

Still no point, just a blog that wandered from facebook.

Then he fed a 3 meter long crocodile named Elvis, I can only assume he was named Elvis because he likes to consume his own weight in hamburgers daily and can never truly die. The rotten chicken (apparently they like eating old corpses, which raises the question of how there got to be new corpses.) was so badly decayed that it fell off the feeding stick and he was forced to prove he has a deathwish and grab it out from near its mouth and toss it at the God-Lizard before he finally munched it down with one bite. For anyone who thinks this isn't that stupid, let me stress that a Salty is not your basic 'Gator. It's a Croc. In a later show he (yes, he survives to give more talks) hands a juvenile 'Gator to some little girl he dragged into the show pit because these things are really just moving logs that snap at passing carrion. An Australian Salty equivalent was brought in, and made every attempt to go beserk and eat the trainer, the little girl, the Gator and the show pit itself. They are not friendly.

Quite a blog but you mentioned a point?

He fed some dingo's, letting the things lick all over his face in a display not unlike standing on a shooting range covered in big magnets. Why you would let the asshole of the canine world (think wolf without the class ) taste you!? You can't tame these things, they will maul and defile your corpse in an attempt to become the Alpha male. These things can take down a cow weighing hundreds of kilos trying to kick it's face in, do you think swatting it with a newspaper will stop it feeding you your own asshole?

And the snakes. Oh god, the snakes. There was a show on the snakes (I'm not even going to tell you about the show, this man is the Anti-Murphys-Law), and a large hall or two in the very cool reptile cave-thing. As stated, I have never thought of my country as Evil or that dangerous, but the nameplates alone started to erode my indoctrinated self-assurance. Death Adder. Red Bellied Black Snake (it even looks demonic). Feirce Snake. Taipan. Do you know what Taipan means in Japanese? It means 'Big Boss'. That's right, the son of a ***** Solid Snake was cloned from and who routinely kicked the collective asses of the world probably had to beg and plead to get his name from an Autralian Snake. What the hell, God!? Add in the fact that the most asshole slithery thing in the place is named simply 'Brown Snake' (perhaps the color of your trousers after you find one in your bath. I kid you not) and we get a kind of sick understanding of the creator of this continent. It was dawning on me that perhaps I was the one ignorant of the true nature of my beloved land down under.

It is too well written for facebook but I hardly see how this blog belongs on a public forum.

The turning point was the Spiders.
I can live with the trees with the poison hair (every other tree forms a symbiotic relationship with animals, using them to spread seeds. There is no excuse for this tree, it is simply a jerk). I can live with the poison-torpedo shooting seashells. I forgave the jellyfish. I can look past the snakes. I can forgive the fact that both of our national animals routinely maul tourists who think they're cute, rather than malevolent and twitchy sacks of hate equipped with sonic-ram-legs. I can forgive the Blue Ringed Octopus. I can forgive the fact that Spore: Australia Edition would be MA 15+. But I cannot forgive the Sydney Funnel Web. Not in a million years will there ever be an excuse for the Sydney Funnel Web.

This is #1 on 'shit you don't want to bite you'. Period. If you get bitten by a snake, you have over 4 hours until the damage becomes chronic and sometimes up to 12 before you keel over dead (it's the heat and long distances to hospitals that make australia so nasty with snakes, that and the fact that our snakes have venom you could clean grease stains with). Not so with the SFW, the record for surviving this Eight-Legged-Armaggedon is an Hour and sixteen minutes. The record. That was a healthy, very healthy man, fully hydrated and who knew how to treat the wound and stem the flow of poison and had god on his side (fickle ass). You, unprepared and unaware, will last 40 minutes, maximum. Think about how long that is, that's not a long time. That's not counting the fact that your fate is sealed after about 25 minutes, mind you, and you'd better hope the ambulance reaches you in time.

I can see some resemblence between these paragraphs and the thread title but a quick google search will teach much more with much less window dressing.

Let me give you a rundown of what a whack from this thing will do to you:

1) Agonising Pain. Not 'ow, put an ice-block on that' agony, but roll on the floor and beg for death agony. Neurotoxin is an utter ***** and will rape your nerve endings and make you see Satan.
2) Drooling. Not spit, not the pre-vomit wet-mouthness. After only 5 minutes you will drool so much and so uncontrollably you can barely breath or speak, making calling for help really hard. Did we mention agony more extreme than anything you have ever felt?
3) After this point, the fun stuff starts. You will cry, pee and crap blood, you will drool and vomit blood and the agony that once made you want to cut off your bitten limb has now spread to your entire body and is making every nerve scream for death.

And this little prick of an animal will bite you multiple times, if he can get you, because he feeds on your tears.

You die at this point. Ambulance drivers don't rush for snake bites, save to spare you prolonged pain before you get the cure. They will run red lights, scrape up against other cars and mount the sidewalk to get a funnelweb victim to the hospital, because after they've got there the guy is usually crying blood already.

Is this an essay, a blog or a colourful factsheet about funnelweb spiders? Either way it isn't a thread and it isn't a point.

If it bites your hand and you survive (making you honorarily Ultra), you will lose fingers, if it bites your foot be prepared to lose it, if it bites your face you're about to become one ugly fucker. Most of Australia's wildlife gets exaggerated in its lethality (at least I thought it did), even though everything here bar the sheep spit poison (the trees, damnit! Poison Trees!), but not the funnelweb.

I wouldn't mind the evil bastards if they lived out in the western wastes like all the rest of our anti-christ animals, but this is the, by name: Sydney Funnel Web. How is this fair? It's like having the 'Suburban Sewer Grizzly', and it weilds a chainsaw. For god's sake, it's not even a restrained arachnid bastard, it's known for being an agressive little fuck. The males, the ones with venom 10 times more potent than the females (that's right, 10 times) are designed to wander looking for females, who hide in (duh) funnel webs. Let me spell that out: It's an agressive, sadistic, overly toxic hairy asshole and it's made to wander all over sydney crawling into warm and enclosed spaces like your shoes and gloves and houses, and it can bite through your toenail when you have the audacity to wake it up in the morning. It's vexom has Hemotoxic, Neurotoxic and Necrotic effects. I don't know what that last part means exactly but Necrotic is never good and it may raise you as a zombie. Not fair.

This is what gets me. Not that it's evil, not that it's deadly, not that i'd rather burn to death while drowning rather than die of this thing, but that it has evolved and adapted in a short period of time to make Sydney (and you thought the cities were safe...) it's stomping ground. It's not natural, it's vindictive. It's proof of a malevolent God and i'll dare any person to be bitten by this sucker and not beg for divine intervention.

Did you write all of this out of boredom, a cry for attention or a genuine desire to teach everyone about wildlife, in which case a link to any academic paper on wildlife would teach much more.

-----​

The Point Of This Thread: The Aussie reptile park is a private venture, it gets no funding for the amazing conservation work it does for Tazzy Devils and several other endangered species. The only thing seperating these adorable and deadly critters from leaving us forever is the entry fees of those who visit the good people there.

If you wanted to see all these deadly creatures (and a whole bunch of non-lethal and cute/awesome ones as well) in a safe place, the Reptile Park is the place to go. The crazy guys there are friendly, warm and often hilarious. They love their jobs. If you're a local, a tourist, or want to see a grown man piss of an Eight-legged Satan for your amusement (and then learn to survive it), then drop by. Nature will spare you one horrible death.

An advert... You went through an essays' worth of words just to advertise a reptile park. I can understand that you are passionate about these creatures right now or are just being paid; regardless when the point is to advertise, it is spam. You have posed well written, clearly though out spam, but it is still spam. I have nothing against you but please keep the adverts to yourself.

i think your reading a bit too much into this.