Just did my research on the 'Stinging Tree'. That's its name, really, 'The Stinging tree'. I imagine it also goes by the name of 'That Bloody Stinging Tree' and 'Fuck That Tree'. I know I would, this thing is a scientific mystery because it seems to exist only to cause mass amounts of pain to the victim. It's worse than the SFW, really, it's a pointless Jerkass of a tree. Really, take a gander at this.
- 'Stinging trees play an important part in the ecology of a rainforest. Many native Australian animals, birds and insects are not bothered by the sting, and happily devour the leaves and fruit.'
...it's not even used for defense. It can't even say 'I do this to stop things eating me', because it's apparently fine with all sorts of creatures chowing down on its very flesh. Why? Because presumably it's riding a constant high from all the suffering it causes. Its invited all of the forest creatures around to its place to laugh at the people choking and gasping in the distance while they all snack on it. First fact: The sting is not for defense.
- 'The sting is delivered through tiny silicon hairs that cover the leaves and the fruit of the plant. You can think of the silicon hairs as tiny fibres of non-transparent glass.'
Ok, we joked about things being worse only if they had syringes filled with battery acid, but this tree apparently heard us and decided that was a fun idea. Nobody tell it about napalm, ok? For no reason, it doesn't defend it, this tree decides to put broken glass all over its food, and try to lure people into touching it. This tree is such an asshole it teases you with fruit, covered in hypodermic needles.
- 'These silicon hairs penetrate your skin, and then break off. They're so tiny, that often the skin will close over the hairs. So sometimes, once you've been stung, you can't remove the stinging hairs. The silicon hairs cause pain, because they carry a neurotoxin... ...we humans feel something between mild irritation and intense pain and death.'
...what the hell is with this country and Neurotoxin!? Why can't we get some nice hemotoxins or necrotoxins? And not mixed in with neurotoxin, you god damned Funnelweb. In WoW, rogues can take an expensive talent to add crippling poison to their other poisons in a 'deadly brew'. The SFW is a god damned rogue, and one deeply invested in the assassination spec. This tree is presumably all specced for subtlety, because it's a god damn tree and shouldn't be able to use a ranged attack, the sneaky jerk. Oh yes, ranged attack.
- 'But you can suffer even if you don't touch the plant. The plants continuously shed their stinging hairs. Stay close to the stinging trees for more than an hour, and you can get an allergic reaction - intensely painful and continuous bouts of sneezing. You can even get nose bleeds from these silicon hairs floating in the air.'
You know what, I don't even need to spell this out. Just read that over again. Even if you leave this tree alone it will get you.
Ok, so it's a jerk-tree. We know this. But that's not all bad, it's certainly not as bad as the SFW (Satan's Furry Warrior) or the Dingo, right?
- 'Now there are two weird things about these stinging trees. First, these stinging trees are harmless to many native Australian species, but very nasty to introduced species such as humans, horses and dogs. The second thing is even weirder. The pain is real and intense, but your body does not suffer any damage. Fire and snake bites cause pain, AND they damage you as well. But it seems that the pain from this tree could be the only pain that is not related to any damage.'
It only does it to foreigners, and it does it only to cause pain. It does it, literally, with no exaggeration, for teh lulz.
Source: Some Fancy Science Place
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- 'Stinging trees play an important part in the ecology of a rainforest. Many native Australian animals, birds and insects are not bothered by the sting, and happily devour the leaves and fruit.'
...it's not even used for defense. It can't even say 'I do this to stop things eating me', because it's apparently fine with all sorts of creatures chowing down on its very flesh. Why? Because presumably it's riding a constant high from all the suffering it causes. Its invited all of the forest creatures around to its place to laugh at the people choking and gasping in the distance while they all snack on it. First fact: The sting is not for defense.
- 'The sting is delivered through tiny silicon hairs that cover the leaves and the fruit of the plant. You can think of the silicon hairs as tiny fibres of non-transparent glass.'
Ok, we joked about things being worse only if they had syringes filled with battery acid, but this tree apparently heard us and decided that was a fun idea. Nobody tell it about napalm, ok? For no reason, it doesn't defend it, this tree decides to put broken glass all over its food, and try to lure people into touching it. This tree is such an asshole it teases you with fruit, covered in hypodermic needles.
- 'These silicon hairs penetrate your skin, and then break off. They're so tiny, that often the skin will close over the hairs. So sometimes, once you've been stung, you can't remove the stinging hairs. The silicon hairs cause pain, because they carry a neurotoxin... ...we humans feel something between mild irritation and intense pain and death.'
...what the hell is with this country and Neurotoxin!? Why can't we get some nice hemotoxins or necrotoxins? And not mixed in with neurotoxin, you god damned Funnelweb. In WoW, rogues can take an expensive talent to add crippling poison to their other poisons in a 'deadly brew'. The SFW is a god damned rogue, and one deeply invested in the assassination spec. This tree is presumably all specced for subtlety, because it's a god damn tree and shouldn't be able to use a ranged attack, the sneaky jerk. Oh yes, ranged attack.
- 'But you can suffer even if you don't touch the plant. The plants continuously shed their stinging hairs. Stay close to the stinging trees for more than an hour, and you can get an allergic reaction - intensely painful and continuous bouts of sneezing. You can even get nose bleeds from these silicon hairs floating in the air.'
You know what, I don't even need to spell this out. Just read that over again. Even if you leave this tree alone it will get you.
Ok, so it's a jerk-tree. We know this. But that's not all bad, it's certainly not as bad as the SFW (Satan's Furry Warrior) or the Dingo, right?
Wrong. This tree can't even muster their pathetic excuses
- 'Now there are two weird things about these stinging trees. First, these stinging trees are harmless to many native Australian species, but very nasty to introduced species such as humans, horses and dogs. The second thing is even weirder. The pain is real and intense, but your body does not suffer any damage. Fire and snake bites cause pain, AND they damage you as well. But it seems that the pain from this tree could be the only pain that is not related to any damage.'
It only does it to foreigners, and it does it only to cause pain. It does it, literally, with no exaggeration, for teh lulz.
Source: Some Fancy Science Place
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'There have been other anecdotal stories from soldiers in WW II suffering intense pain, and of an officer shooting himself because of the unrelenting pain'
