The Sydney Funnel Web: Unfair

[Ultrajoe]

Also they caught an alligator in the Northern part of Alabama that had been seen with an intact deer in it's mouth

Spoiler: Ima Love Crocs And Gators Eating Things

I love all things crocodilian, and most things alligator-ish (The climate is colder there, even in florida, so the Crocs tend to be a little more active) so i'm adding your shot to my folder of awesome pictures.

That wound is nasty, that's the kind of necrotic I was talking about with the SFW, although you tend to lose the affected fingers, but damn that's a horrible bite. And from such a tiny spider... I think we may have underestimated our foe. They should never breed.

Spoiler: Couldn't Resist, spider haters should not click.

--------​

I wanted to take a second to discuss the Redback spider, which is named for the cats-eye stripe of red that runs down it's nasty little back. This sucker is even tinier than the brown recluse, and can kill you if it's lucky but will mostly just make you wish it had. It's got nothing on the saber-fanged monstrosity that is the funnel-web, but I think one thing cannot be ignored:

God damnit​

 

[Vrex360]

I love my country, so many beautiful beasties.

 

[Dommyboy]

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Spiders

Just in case you weren't frightened of spiders yet.

 

[Caimekaze]

Brilliant read. I love experiences like those, where you're seeing things that will kill you for a chuckle yet are enjoying every minute of it.
For all my horrendous past experiences with spiders, I still like them.

I loathe ticks. Those little suckers just make you tired and are so small it's hard to find them.
Unless you get the bad ones... then the side of you that was bitten will just sag. Forever.

I love the goanna.

They can climb trees, are occasionally grumpy and can run. Fast. Thankfully they are also lazy and not poisonous, although I'm fairly sure their bite can break limbs. When I was little and on holidays, my father's friend came up to visit and irritated a goanna. It chased him around for a good half hour before it bored of the fun.
Incidentally, on the same trip my father was feeding a group of female kangaroos, to the ire of a bull roo. I'm glad this happened after I was born; had it been prior, chances are I would not exist due to where he was kicked...

 

[GodofMadness]

dude your forgetting the lovely white tail spider. while you wont die, but by god you will get scared.
http://www.pestcontrolsydney.com.au/images/Pest%20Control%20White%20tail%20Spider%20Bite%204.jpg

Most of our Animals are bloody dangerous. Koala's scream like the Blood God himself, and they have been known to bite fingers off, Kangaroos are bloody nasty as well. When I was a wee little tike, i got owned by a Gray, big cut on my check. Evin the God dammed Platypus has a poisonous barb under is back leg.

God Just thinks its Funny to dish out the wepions.

and what makes Red backs to fun is that they like the outdoor toliets, public and otherwise.

But on a somewhat ironic note, when I was in Canada for a holiday, and to any Canadians, i love your country. We went for a walk in the forest with some family friends, and I was a nerves wreck, worried shitless that a Bear or Mountain Lion would come get me, and Im use to Walking in the Australian Bush.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Thankfully they are also lazy and not poisonous, although I'm fairly sure their bite can break limbs.

It's so full of bacteria it might as well be poisonous, infection is almost guaranteed. But yes, it's the disinterested old cop of the lizard world... and is beautiful.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

... and that is why nobody in their right mind lives in Australia.

 

[mshcherbatskaya]

That Redback spider looks like a black widow that put its shirt on backwards.

That's the belly of the black widow, not the back. But otherwise, quite a resemblance.

Oh, hey, look at this - a giant spider colony blanketed part of a Texas State Park with webs. They did it in about 2 weeks.

http://www.texasento.net/Social_Spider.htm

Oh, and they did it in Encino, California too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/12459042@N07/sets/72157601787635715/

 

[Fostaar]

If I can try to prompt some discussion from you fine folks, is there any animal you are particularly proud of from your country? Have you ever encountered said animal or one of the ones I mentioned? (for the fellow aussies).

Have I made you interested in visiting the Australian Reptile Park?

in the interest of hating on aussies this is from new zealand http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haast_eagle and would kick your arse, and mine and eat all of my sheep and cattle.
15kg of feathery predator coming in at 80km/hr to maul your face off.
unfortunately its prey, the Moa which was kind of like a 2 metre tall chicken was also the favourite prey of humans when they arrived and the eagle was outcompeted.
i often wonder what the world would be like if we had to protect ourselves from giant eagles that broke through our ceilings at night to eat our young...

 

[Tharwen]

I just discovered I have arachnophobia.

That picture some evil twat posted further up (I AM NOT going to quote it) of the spiders on the wall made me scream, gag, and jump out of my chair before stamping repeatedly on the floor with both feet.

I hate you.

A lot.

 

[Caimekaze]

Thankfully they are also lazy and not poisonous, although I'm fairly sure their bite can break limbs.

It's so full of bacteria it might as well be poisonous, infection is almost guaranteed. But yes, it's the disinterested old cop of the lizard world... and is beautiful.

Which is what boiling water is for. Who needs flesh when you can rid yourself of infection?

 

[DinosaurSnack]

Could you keep that over there please? The world will thank you.

 

[Labyrinth]

Could you keep that over there please? The world will thank you.

Actually there's a special branch of the Australian Military specifically designed to train our various wildlife to fight alongside soldiers in battle. The funnelwebs make for great assassins, drop-bears excellent scouts and let's face it, people would be shit scared of fighting in swampy areas knowing that the Australian Army has a salt-water croc platoon.

Why do you think there's a history of 'punching above ones weight' here?

 

[GodofMadness]

Drops bears are what Khorn decided to make after his Hounds didn?t kill enough.

 

[Davey Woo]

I was giggling through that post as much as I do when watching Yahtzee, hilarious, and it also makes me glad I don't live in Australia.

Don't think England has anything amazingly nasty. But apparently global warming means that all the dangerous bastardspiders that come over on the bananas aren't dying out in the winter like they normally do.

 

[Ushario]

I feel that the lack of note of the Taipan known commonly as 'Fierce snake' is unforgivable.

It lives in a remote area so very few people are bitten, but its the most venemous snake in Australia (Have a feeling its the worlds most venemous snake but not 100%) . Its also fairly shy, but god help you if you step on one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fierce_Snake

Its venom is 200-400 times more toxic than most rattlesnakes and 50 times as toxic as a cobra

The Sydney Funnel Web spider has not killed anyone since the creation of an anti-venom.

 

[mshcherbatskaya]

Bears are not too much a problem as long as you don't startle them. Bears are omnivores with a strong food drive rather than a strong prey drive. So they will rip your back door off its hinges and ravage your kitchen, but you are not food, so as long as you are not a threat and the bear knows it, you are probably OK. Mountain lions and cougars on the other hand, have been known to actively stalk, hunt, and kill hikers, joggers, and mountain bikers. They also kill and eat peoples dogs, even dogs are housed in kennels with roofs. They just rip off the roof.

Unlike the bear, your best bet with a cougar is a good bluff. Put up a good show of being a dangerous predator in your own right. Remember you are at the top of the food chain, so act like it.

If you act aggressive toward a bear, you will trigger a defense response. If you act submissive to a mountain lion, you will elicit a prey response. And the claws on either one of these animals get as long as my thumb, so don't bother trying to stab them. You may have a knife but they have 10.

 

[DinosaurSnack]

Could you keep that over there please? The world will thank you.

Actually there's a special branch of the Australian Military specifically designed to train our various wildlife to fight alongside soldiers in battle. The funnelwebs make for great assassins, drop-bears excellent scouts and let's face it, people would be shit scared of fighting in swampy areas knowing that the Australian Army has a salt-water croc platoon.

Why do you think there's a history of 'punching above ones weight' here?

This is why America has invested so heavily in the Air Force/Navy. So we can blow everything up without setting a damn foot in any country(or continent) we don't want to because of their crazy ass wildlife.

 

[Ushario]

If I can try to prompt some discussion from you fine folks, is there any animal you are particularly proud of from your country? Have you ever encountered said animal or one of the ones I mentioned? (for the fellow aussies).

Have I made you interested in visiting the Australian Reptile Park?

in the interest of hating on aussies this is from new zealand http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haast_eagle and would kick your arse, and mine and eat all of my sheep and cattle.
15kg of feathery predator coming in at 80km/hr to maul your face off.
unfortunately its prey, the Moa which was kind of like a 2 metre tall chicken was also the favourite prey of humans when they arrived and the eagle was outcompeted.
i often wonder what the world would be like if we had to protect ourselves from giant eagles that broke through our ceilings at night to eat our young...

Just think, we have a spider everyone calls the Bird Eating Spider, its actual name is the Eastern Trantula. Take that Kiwi's!