The Sydney Funnel Web: Unfair

[RicoADF]

This is one of the few reasons as to why I like Connecticut. We don't have jack shit in terms of dangerous creatures.

I've lived in Sydney my whole life, 22years, and I've never seen a Sydney Funnel Web. All you have to do is use some common sence and your fine, and considering its hard to be bitten by them their death rate is quite low. Basically your more likely to be killed by lightening (especially in Sydney) then a SFW.

 

[Blaghman]

Ya know, sometimes I'm glad I live in Canberra, all we have is the Canberra funnel-web. It's basically the SFW, but cuter, and less deadly. The most dangerous things here are the politicians, who will bore you to death... or... if they're the libs, they'll bite your neck and suck your blood. So all up, fairly safe by Australian standards.

Edit: decided I'd point out, while not a problem for me, my mum used to live up in Queensland, and the river she would play in had salt-water crocodiles upstream, these things, as mentioned, are nasty... as in, over a tonne, and up to 6 metres long. and when we think about it, that means that one could have a metre long mouth. I love this country.

 

[RicoADF]

(In a class 4 hazmat suit reinforced at the toes)

I'd recommend an encounter suit or better still a wolverine from Tiberian Sun

 

[Bernzz]

hehe, go australia and our bad ass animals and such, but, being here in South Australia, we dont really hav the sydney funnel web spider...im not sure if we have anything more poison ous than red backs (nasty lil fuckers) and huntsmen spiders (ugly big fuckers) and a collection of snakes and the odd shark of our coast...although i despise it, i can see where people get the idea that it is a dangerous place

You live in SA? Where, exactly?

west sa-iide just out of adelaide

I live in Birdwood, 30-45 minutes drive out of Adelaide. Living in the country is awesome.

 

[GloatingSwine]

ITT Bogan spiders.

 

[Zer_]

If I can try to prompt some discussion from you fine folks, is there any animal you are particularly proud of from your country? Have you ever encountered said animal or one of the ones I mentioned? (for the fellow aussies).

Have I made you interested in visiting the Australian Reptile Park?

The good ol' Canadian Beaver.

It's about as deadly as a plushy toy knife.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sekLEG8xsOs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF8vQSQen2Q

 

[Stevedave00]

I've heard Vegemite is disgusting as well.

 

[Ultrajoe]

I've heard Vegemite is disgusting as well.

When you live in a country where the trees release floating hyperdermic syringes filled with Neurotoxin (Page 5 for full report), anything to distract you is greatly appreciated. It's the same with cricket (Wide open space, nothing can sneak up... and you have a bat) and our beer, which is strong enough to make you forget that you are only halfway up the food chain. The beauty of vegemite is that it's made of vegetables, so in a small way you're getting back at the Evil trees.

(In a class 4 hazmat suit reinforced at the toes)

I'd recommend an encounter suit or better still a wolverine from Tiberian Sun

Both of these will only provoke the wildlife. Not because they feel threatened, but because they enjoy proving you horribly wrong.

I pissed myself laughing by the way awesome presentation.

You laugh now (thanks, by the way), but you'e never seen a man savaged by a Koala... I can still hear the screams...

 

[Lunar Shadow]

So, Ultra Jo we will be fine until these little beasties show up to continue the job. Then we truly are fucked.

Spoiler

 

[megapenguinx]

If I can try to prompt some discussion from you fine folks, is there any animal you are particularly proud of from your country? Have you ever encountered said animal or one of the ones I mentioned? (for the fellow aussies).

Have I made you interested in visiting the Australian Reptile Park?

I am quite proud of my resident bastard:

Out here in California you can find these everywhere in my region. I've nearly stepped on 4 by accident because they blend into the damn ground too well. When you hear that rattle (if you hear it), you have about 3 seconds to get the hell away or else you're not going to be very happy in the morning.

See that? He wants to sink those fangs in and never let go​

They can kill smaller animals (rabbits, chickens, pigs) in about 20 seconds. If you don't die after they bite you, they will follow you until you succumb to the poison. Good luck getting to the hospital because even though they have anti-venom, the venom will swell up your leg, burn your nerve endings to a crisp, and your wound (which will be two large gashes) won't stop bleeding. My advice if you find one: Run, and don't stop until you can't see the thing gliding across the ground (or throw a smaller animal at it).

Spoiler

Although there was a bit of exaggeration, the following are true:
It's strike range is about 4 feet in front of it's head, so I'd back up some if I were you.
The death rate is less than 4%, because we stocked up on anti-venom in case these things became intelligent.
They will chase you, for quite a bit actually. I had one chase me for over half a mile.
Getting bitten will leave you a bit disfigured

Oh another word of advice:

Spoiler: NEVER TOUCH ONE OF THESE

 

[Cocal]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I don't live anyplace that is like that,

 

[Ultrajoe]

If I can try to prompt some discussion from you fine folks, is there any animal you are particularly proud of from your country? Have you ever encountered said animal or one of the ones I mentioned? (for the fellow aussies).

I am quite proud of my resident bastard:

I love your rattlesnakes. They had one of these guys at the Reptile park, the rattle is an awesome sound. That said, I'm fairly sure they don't chase you, as they're ambush predators and the entire point of the rattle is to make you go away. Their multiple bites are only to ensure their venom goes off because evolution has made them kind of venom-impotent, and they cant move fast when in the 'S' shaped strike position, the reason the death rates are low is because they have a habit of firing blanks on anything larger than a rat. Still, striking at hundreds of kilometers and hour is just fucking awesome.

That said, I could be dead wrong. Dead wrong.

 

[megapenguinx]

If I can try to prompt some discussion from you fine folks, is there any animal you are particularly proud of from your country? Have you ever encountered said animal or one of the ones I mentioned? (for the fellow aussies).

I am quite proud of my resident bastard:

I love your rattlesnakes. They had one of these guys at the Reptile park, the rattle is an awesome sound. That said, I'm fairly sure they don't chase you, as they're ambush predators and the entire point of the rattle is to make you go away. Their multiple bites are only to ensure their venom goes off because evolution has made them kind of venom-impotent, and they cant move fast when in the 'S' shaped strike position, the reason the death rates are low is because they have a habit of firing blanks on anything larger than a rat. Still, striking at hundreds of kilometers and hour is just fucking awesome.

That said, I could be dead wrong. Dead wrong.

The problem we have isn't the big ol' rattlers, but the babies who's rattles you can barely hear. Also they have a nasty habit of dumping their whole supply of venom in one bite, whereas the adults sometimes don't use any at all.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Ewww spiders. I hate insects

 

[Stevedave00]

Ewww spiders. I hate insects

Bugatarians love them!

 

[Internet Kraken]

Ewww spiders. I hate insects

Spiders ain't insects! They're arachnids!

I thought that was the useless bit of trivia that everyone knew.

 

[Internet Kraken]

If I can try to prompt some discussion from you fine folks, is there any animal you are particularly proud of from your country? Have you ever encountered said animal or one of the ones I mentioned? (for the fellow aussies).

I am quite proud of my resident bastard:

I love your rattlesnakes. They had one of these guys at the Reptile park, the rattle is an awesome sound. That said, I'm fairly sure they don't chase you, as they're ambush predators and the entire point of the rattle is to make you go away. Their multiple bites are only to ensure their venom goes off because evolution has made them kind of venom-impotent, and they cant move fast when in the 'S' shaped strike position, the reason the death rates are low is because they have a habit of firing blanks on anything larger than a rat. Still, striking at hundreds of kilometers and hour is just fucking awesome.

That said, I could be dead wrong. Dead wrong.

I like Rattlesnakes.

They are one of the few animals that are kind enough to warn you when you are about to step on them. You don't see stone fish doing that.

 

[tsb247]

Where I live, we have the brown recluse spider... Their bites can cause full necrosis. i.e., your skin falls off, the remaining tissue gets infected, and you lose a limb.

 

[Ultrajoe]

They are one of the few animals that are kind enough to warn you when you are about to step on them. You don't see stone fish doing that.

I've always had the horrible feeling that the deadly poison is the warning, it's just a combative little shit. I don't know what the actual attack is, perhaps it bites of your genitalia and lays eggs in the wound. Or steals your identity and gets you arrested for fraud and child porn, and then tattoos 'Free Rides' on your lower back before you go to prison.

I wouldn't put it past him.