The Threat of Home Invaders

[emeraldrafael]

Im in my room, just chilling?

I've got over 20 weapons in my room alone, all in easy grabbing distance. and teh last five people to have robbed my house have found out the hard way that home defense is something i've very familiar with.

And hell, if I'm naked, that will just stop them for that second longer to look at me and think "why the fuck is that brat naked?"

 

[BristolBerserker]

Cloths off, gimp mask on. Works every time.

 

[Snake Plissken]

lounging with your assorted genitals out

What the hell kind of genitals do you have? My genitals are definitely not assorted; it's not a bag of Skittles. They're pretty standard...

 

[ShindoL Shill]

lounging with your assorted genitals out

What the hell kind of genitals do you have? My genitals are definitely not assorted; it's not a bag of Skittles. They're pretty standard...

i was trying to cover all bases. you've got two genders and each one has a different set, and one has two areas (technically) or whatever.
i have a bad-wording tendency.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I grab one of the following(or two)

- my revolver
- The cavalry sword replica my uncle gave me(surprisingly sharp)
- The small dagger i have on the chain around my neck
- the large wooden stick i have beside my bed
- a hunting knife
- a nice wooden bat
-carpenters hammer
- old blacksmith hammer
- whatever the fuck might be in one of my tool bags
- ANGER

Yeah and i am only moderately armed for a Texan. Course the sight of a large angry guy akin to a bear in hair and girth; yelling at them with pistol and large weapon in hand would scare anyone off. Course i would call cops first. No good in starting this without the chance of him running to the cops to save him.

yeah, i read that and i was all 'this guy seriously needs more weapons. i mean, he's close to me, and all ive got is a camera monopod...'

 

[___________________]

Me,a pair of underwear and my bokken. :| charge!

 

[Candidus]

Someone breaks into your home, their rights stay outside. If you can get the drop on them, you put a cleaver in their spine. Job done. The idea that there's some onus on the victim of home invasion to determine the intent of an intruder before retaliating- that a victim should have to throw away an opportunity to end the ordeal with one blow on account of the *scumbag's* rights is utter garbage.

I've got a cleaver in my room and another in the kitchen. There's a sharp screwdriver in the bathroom medicine cabinet and a hammer tucked behind the cushions of the sofa in the living room. Never more than one room away from a pest control solution.

 

[The Hero Killer]

Grab my gun wait in a doorway and shoot the first person that walks by. I live alone so theres no chance of accidentally killing a loved one. You invade my house you die, no police, no jail, I'm killing you....and in only my boxers.

 

[Knusper]

Well my house makes lots of noises so assuming I knew it was a burglar, I would probably grab my phone and a camera to take a picture of his face to give to police and be prepared to run into my room and lock the door.

I probably wouldn't go naked just in case it's a family member.

 

[MrJKapowey]

you think it might be a home invader.

Well, if it's someone militarily invading my home I'm fucked as in Britain we ain't got no firearms.

OT: I would not be naked as I'd have boxers on and I'd probably fetch the wooden club I've got in my room (an interestingly shaped stick - which can form two clubs when snapped.). Then I'd sneak downstairs and smack some heads.

 

[Anggul]

I'd like to say I'd use my Buster sword but well... as apt as it would be at crushing skulls, it would be useless indoors where there are WALLS to get in the way. I'd probably just pick up the knife I got on my holiday in Finland.

Preferably though, I could just come up behind them and hold the blade to their throat, then calmly explain that someone else in the house is going to call the police while I hold them there.


As for those who say we should have guns in England like people do in America, if it's easy for you to get a gun, it's probably easier for the criminal to get one. I fancy my chances much more if they don't have one.

 

[ragestreet]

Luckily I am a robot which means I have a .44 caliber gun where you humans would have your genitals.

 

[Korolev]

Since I have locks and grills on all my windows (the house came with them, and I'm not going to remove them despite living in an area with virtually no noticeable crime), and my pets can't make any noise (which wouldn't be easily identifiable as coming from them), if I do hear a loud sound that sounded suspicious, I would probably retrieve the large sugar-cane cutter I keep beneath my bed and wait in my room to hear any other sounds. If I do definitely hear a burglar, then I call the police on my mobile and I STAY IN MY ROOM. Confronting a burglar is not a wise decision - there's a reason the police advise you to avoid contact with criminals. Your TV is not worth your life.

If I don't hear any other sounds, I'll go downstairs to see what caused the noise.

All in all, though, I'm not worried. I live with a lot of other people, my home is very secure against burglars (bars, locks, and big fences DO deter criminals who tend to pick on perceived "easy" houses) and I have two very large, very fierce German Shepherds who absolutely hate strangers. Burglars in Australia very, VERY rarely have guns on them, so my sugar cane cutter should be suitably intimidating (it is a VERY large, VERY sharp cane cutter)

 

[Xaio30]

I'm gonna sneak around the house through the back door and scare him the living shit out of him by yelling in his ear!

 

[gellert1984]

I keep my air rifle out when I'm home just in case, it probably wont kill a burgler unless I manage to hit them in the eye but I figure it'll sting like a ***** and maybe surprise them long enough for me to reverse my grip and smack 'em inna chops.

If I'm naked, well, this is my weapon and this is my gun...

 

[kypsilon]

I have a WW2 kukri on my book shelf in my room. It's heavy enough to seriously crump someone upside the head and it'll do the job if it comes down to a stabby, slashy, choppy kinda fight. I'll put the bath robe on before I leave my room as it hangs just off beside the door.

 

[Farson89]

Anyone who can get past my dogs without a sound is clearly some kind of super-human and all I can do is pray to as many gods as I can think of for salvation.