The "Yep. I'm definitely going to Hell" moment.

[aLivingPheonix]

I was playing Red Dead Redemption and my brother was watching, and it was a cutscene where you saw two mexican women being taken by Captain de Santa to Colonel Allende. It wasn't at all funny, but I was doing this stupid voice-over thing, and when the women came on, I went, "Si Senor nooooooo!" in my best high-pitched impression of a down-trodden mexican woman.

I am ashamed that I made fun of such a situation, but god damn was it funny. I nearly fell out of my chair, and it was a recliner so that's no small feat. My brother was laughing just as hard.

Afterwards, he looked at me, and said, "Man, we are so going to hell." I agreed. Then I said "Si senor Diablo nooooo!" And we started laughing again.

It was stupid, idiotic racist humour, and I repeated it.

Yep, I'm gonna burn.

Don't worry, like 70% of the jokes I make are rascist in some way or another.

Probably a few weeks ago, when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, to which I replied: "Hitler's successor, complete with mustache and dictatorship". I immediatly thought "that's it, I'm going to hell" afterwards. I still laughed like a maniac though.

 

[Nouw]

Probably some jokes I cracked or laughed at, but it's humour so we can go away with that stuff!

 

[Mcupobob]

I was HIGH in a church. I didn't even know how it happen, but we sat in the back and at all the scones. I'm going to so many different levels of hell.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Probably the day one of my friends was suffereing with suicidal depression. He siad he would shoot himself in front of me, just so he didnt have to die alone.

Now, I got rather tired of it after three months, and I'll admit, I wasnt in the best mood that day. So when he said that and was going on telling me about how his life was so horrible, I loaded up my 1860 Colt Navy and put it in his hands and told him to "nut the fuck up or shut the fuck up, or I'll do it."

Needless to say he didnt do it. Also needless to say he got over his depression. And of course most needless to say, he lived and we laugh about it now.

 

[CarlsonAndPeeters]

I knew I was going to hell when I saw all of the rules in the Bible that will send you to hell.

 

[SilverStuddedSquirre]

You know what I'm talking about. You did something that you thought was awesome, or said something you thought was hilarious, but afterward you needed 12 consecutive shame-showers to feel better about yourself again.


The reason I bring it up? I had one yesterday. Recently, a friend of mine passed away, and it was quite tragic. A friend and myself were in line for the wake yesterday, and the line went all the way out the building, down the driveway, and down the sidewalk for another 200 or so ft. So my friend and I were killing time in between the morbid silence.

Now, to preface this, the 3 of us all played WoW rather avidly. So during the line, which was cold as fuck, my friend and I started cracking WoW jokes. First in relation to the weather with things like "Man, we should have stacked frost resist. We're gonna wipe.", and "I'd use my campfire, but it's on CD. ". Then we paused for a second.

I hesitated, and said "Too bad their aren't any druid around here, then we wouldn't have this problem". My friend grinned, and hesitated himself "Fuck. He should have rolled shaman". We both felt like awful people for the rest of the day, either for the poor taste, or blatant nerdiness, I am not sure.


P.S., For those of you not in the know, in WoW, druids have a spell called "Rebirth" that can be cast in combat and under pretty much any circumstance to resurrect a player. Shamans have a spell called "Reincarnate" that allows them to instantly come back to life after death.

This might have been especially tasteless because he committed suicide.


....


Post yours, ladies and gents. I'm curious to see just how atrocious of human beings we have here at TE.

Grief is shared in many ways. You payed tribute to your friendship's Team - your party, and acknowledged your need for his presence enough to resurrect him. And whatever memories you have of him, that's Legacy.

 

[Darkauthor81]

The time some really rich uptight looking freshmen approached me the first day of college and asked where the best steak house in this city.

I made up a rich sounding restaurant name and gave them street by street directions into the heart of the worst slum in the city. The slum I just happened to be living in at the time.

Oh, then there was the time later when I was working at a gas station by the interstate. All my customers were tourists so I could do whatever I wanted to them.

Case in point. A man with Alabama license plates came in one night. Grabbed a Chug of milk, and came up to the counter. With a completely straight face I said.

"I'm gonna have to see some ID."

Alabama ".... What?"

Me "Milk is a controlled substance in Pennsylvania. You have to show ID in order to buy it."

Alabama pulled out his ID with the most dumbfounded face I'd ever seen and showed it to me. The he asked ".... Why?"

I responded. "In case of a mad cow disease outbreak. We need to know who buys milk so we can warn them."

He nodded and left.

All completely made up on the spot and all done with a stone cold, bored, straight face. The thing is, I didn't even laugh about it after he left. It was then that I realized just how much I HATED my job and that I was lashing out, not because I was fun anymore, but just to try to drag other people down to my level.

 

[Dukenstein]

I said that to myself while I was digging this make shift grave. I was getting rid of a "problem".

 

[smaug85]

Okay so my friend's mom recently died of some form of cancer.
The Setting: Library
People Present: Some of my friends but other friend wasn't
Context: My friends were being childish and putting non-fiction books in fiction in vice-versa, like at one point my friend put the bible in the non-fictiion, please no atheist rant.
The conversation:
Friend 1: Oh I just thought of something really bad (looked guilty)
Friend 2: Tell me
(Friend 1 tells in friend 2's ear, friend 2 laughs)
Us other friends: What
Friend 2: Maybe [non-present friend]'s mom should be in the fiction section

So i was kinda chuckling on the inside but i said it was horrible, I feel REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY bad about it, plus it wasn't even a good joke

 

[luckycharms8282]

your situation reminded me of that vid where the clan (forget the name) crashes the funeral of some girl on wow. I was hoping one of you would have said, "nice day for a funeral" and the other replied, "indeed" while waiting in line.

Ive never specifically thought, "man Im going to hell for that" but I have done things that leave me feeling like a twat. Whether it was saying something stupid or just being an all around douche bag w/o even meaning to.

 

[Azdron]

It's gotta be the nun jokes.

Uhh, you want to quantify that man?

Also, personally I have to say my most recient hell moment was bulletstorm. Just the glee I feel when I listen to the shocker screams, or that tiny cut off fall scream. Ahhh bulletstorm, you really belive the points matter to me.

 

[mushy262626]

when me and my friend were making fun of the kindly- armless motivational speaker who came to our school by calling him a walking dildo. we felt especially bad because he was amazing at what he dose and he told the story of his life that was filled with hardships put on him by ignorant people, like us -_-

 

[Lunar Templar]

I have more than a few from saying things that couldn't exactly be seen as socially acceptable.

But it's okay - I plan on taking a few people with me.

and I've probably laughed at them, with out shame

 

[IceStar100]

I have to pick one.

Oh tell my black jewish friends. That had someone in one of the camps.

"Did he have to sit at the back of the oven?"

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

. . . cheese pizza threads. . .

Someone had to say it.

i don't get this..

is this a troll moment or..?


OT:

yeah, i remember one in particular from a couple years ago, we were walking out of this building, while it was really cold out, and we saw an old guy coming, so we stopped and held the door open...he was walking towards, saw us holding the door open, and instead walked into the glass right next to the door thinking it was the opening..without a doubt in his mind he believed that was the opening, his head hit that shit so hard, and he fell back like an old turtle and basically launched his walking stick in the process, in which i laughed so fucking hard, i felt so god damn bad but it was soo funny at the time..

ALSO

back in 5th grade, we went to the courthouse for a field trip, and we were able to sit in on a very serious case, in which someone was getting put away for some very serious financial fraud thing, in which right when the jury found them "guilty", in which in the dead silence my friend down the row had the loudest high pitch fart wrap right off the wooden bench..and being the easily giggled person i am, i started cracking up, in which the judge screamed at us to both get out, and we were suspended =[ so yeah i highly regret that..

 

[Just_A_Glitch]

You know, I've had hundreds of "I'm going to Hell" moments, but I can't for the life of me think of any examples. I can think of a friend's over anything, simply because of how bad it was.

He was having casual relations with a girl. Being safe and everything. But, one day she called him up and said "I'm late." His initial response was...

"You need to get an abortion."

Then he hung up. They haven't talked since.

EDIT: Oh! Thought of one. Happened less than a week ago to.

Okay, so same friend and I were at his house and it was about 3:30 A.M. and we were bored. So, we did our new boredom thing; Chatroulette. And we found these 3 douchebag Japanese kids, and they immediately started making fun of us. Needless to say, it upset us, so my friend did the greatest thing he's ever done. He imitated the cliched missile drop sound, and I instinctively imitated an explosion as he made a mushroom cloud with his hands. These 3 Japs immediately stopped laughing and just went slackjawed, as if we just completely ruined their lives. Just watching their face go from "Ha! Fatass Americans! You're stupid!" to jaws dropped in shock was perhaps the greatest thing I've ever seen.

 

[Silent Biohazard Solid]

So, I'm standing on a corner once, and I want to cross the street. And there is a large group of people in front of me, and they're not moving. So I think to myself, "Oh my god! What is with all these retards?" And then a couple of them turned around, and I realized that it was actually a group of people with Downe's Syndrome.

 

[Firetaffer]

So, I'm standing on a corner once, and I want to cross the street. And there is a large group of people in front of me, and they're not moving. So I think to myself, "Oh my god! What is with all these retards?" And then a couple of them turned around, and I realized that it was actually a group of people with Downe's Syndrome.

Hey, according to the information you knew at that exact moment than the insult is perfectly understandable!

 

[Spade Lead]

Post yours, ladies and gents. I'm curious to see just how atrocious of human beings we have here at TE.

My girlfriend was teasing me about being fat, so I turned it around on her and said "You aren't exactly Giselle Bundchen yourself!"

I found out a day later, when she finally started talking to me again, that she used to be anorexic.