The "Yep. I'm definitely going to Hell" moment.

[Spade Lead]

I find it interesting that everyone thinks that they're going to hell for their actions... if God sent people to hell for stuff like that we would all burn. I'm a biblical scholar and having extensively studied scripture, I know that anyone who tells you you're going to hell is just a pretentious asshole who would have really pissed of Jesus. once I read the bible, I figured out that all the things priests and people told me were dead wrong, so don't belive anyone preaching that fire and brimstone bullshit. God loves you no matter how much of a bastard you are, because he just that great of a guy.

This has nothing to do with a literal "That is a sin, you are going to hell" sin, and everything to do with a "That was SO fucking inappropriate I should be punished" moment. You completely missed the point.

 

[Nexoram]

The times, the times... there was this video i'm pretty sure most of you guys would have seen where a little girl gets smacked by her dad while playing kinect. I LOL'ed (literally) and felt bad afterwards.

 

[Just_A_Glitch]

You know, I've had hundreds of "I'm going to Hell" moments, but I can't for the life of me think of any examples. I can think of a friend's over anything, simply because of how bad it was.

He was having casual relations with a girl. Being safe and everything. But, one day she called him up and said "I'm late." His initial response was...

"You need to get an abortion."

Then he hung up. They haven't talked since.

EDIT: Oh! Thought of one. Happened less than a week ago to.

Okay, so same friend and I were at his house and it was about 3:30 A.M. and we were bored. So, we did our new boredom thing; Chatroulette. And we found these 3 douchebag Japanese kids, and they immediately started making fun of us. Needless to say, it upset us, so my friend did the greatest thing he's ever done. He imitated the cliched missile drop sound, and I instinctively imitated an explosion as he made a mushroom cloud with his hands. These 3 Japs immediately stopped laughing and just went slackjawed, as if we just completely ruined their lives. Just watching their face go from "Ha! Fatass Americans! You're stupid!" to jaws dropped in shock was perhaps the greatest thing I've ever seen.

OMG you and your friend win at Chatroulette and life for this bravo sirs bravo! You are horrible human beings according to morals and ethics but to me you are heroes for what its worth again bravo. Its always the spontaneous things that are the funniest in life be proud that you went with it because this was a once in a life time moment and you made the most of it!

I can't tell if you're being serious or sarcastic.

So I'll assume you are being serious and say thank you!

 

[Spawny0908]

I have one for me and my sister. Me: the fact that I do say whenever I'm truly surprised; Jesus titty fucking christ.

My sister: My sister and her friend were in her room talking when she got a phone call from her boyfriend at the time. His mother had died. She asked when her funeral was and he said Friday. She said she'd try to attend for him. My sister gets off the phone and her friend asks what was up. My sister tells her and the friend also asks when the funeral was. she says friday. To which her friend says: "Isn't there a sale on Friday?!?!" "Oh yeah! Well I guess I won't be able to make it!"

My sister and her friend were DYING laughing! She told me and my parents and we laughed too!
*sighs* I'm going to hell xD

 

[kypsilon]

There's nothing wrong there at all. Anyone who has lost anyone that has meant anything to them all crack jokes with their friends to alleviate the situation. I cracked jokes about my dad when he died of cancer. It hurt like hell that he was dead, but I honestly believe the part of him that survives death wanted me to be as sarcastic and ridiculous about death as I could be. We all die. And if there's something more than death, why shouldn't we mock it? And if there's nothing...what have we got to lose?

 

[MakerOfRoads]

I dated upwards 20-25 different women for sex only, propagated relationships, and ended them after they fell in love.

 

[FirebirdXR]

I was in college when one of my classmates approached me with a question regarding a friend I knew back at elementary.

I lost touch with my "old" friend since middle school. But even then, he still didn't seem to change much from the few times we passed each other at the hallways through the years. So when I replied to my classmate, all I did was talk a lot sh*t at my "old" friend's expense, claiming that we haven't talked to each other in ages, and questioning as to what exactly the fat bastard was up to....

My classmate didn't reply, he just looked at me, sincerely said his goodbyes and left....
....only on that same day did I found out in a newspaper that he died in an car crash. He was my best friend in 4th Grade.


/
On lesser I-going-to-hell-moment; at my first workplace, I made a nice woman cry.
All I did was make fun my sister's soccer team she managed to coach at the time, and she briefly went into hysterics on how hard they worked and started tearing.

This wasn't the first time I poked fun at the team, so when she started crying, I felt bad and we didn't talk for week.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

Confession time huh?

Where to begin...

I have those moments every single time there is a tragedy and I laugh my ass off at some aspect of it. It was after one of these tragedies (that involved my family no less) that I realized an implicit truth about the world.

Everything is funny. No exceptions.

Of course, that's just the stuff other people [i/]don't[/i] laugh at. We mustn't forget the dead baby jokes, holocaust jokes, and racist jokes.

Here is one of my favorite "I'm going to hell for laughing" jokes.

Spoiler: How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail it's [i/]other[/i] hand to the floor

Single moment? I would have to go with recently when I was at a friends house playing video games.

We were playing "Run for the border" in Halo Reach. He is the Mexican, so he get's sprint, grenades(molotovs and rocks) and I am the border patrol, so I get a sniper rifle. He runs as fast as he can while dodging and spewing random Spanish. All in all, it was very fun, but at the end I just looked at home and said "We are so going to hell for this."

 

[The Code]

A black guy laughed at a racist joke I told once. It felt awkward and dirty.

EDIT: I also just laughed at Deckard's joke. ^

 

[Blobpie]

I once kicked a puppy... it was cute.

 

[BanthaFodder]

*sigh*
well... I... came up with this joke...
just... just read it...
"why did the black guy cross the road? he was chasing the chicken"
I felt so bad that I lol'd at it
I'm not racist, but it just sorta popped in there... and once it was there... I couldn't forget it...

 

[Dwarfman]

My hell moment came about 2-3 different times wile doing the same thing. Me and a mate were out cursing the streets and me being me said "look at her id like to bend her over and have a go at that tight ass" only to find out the girl in question is about 12-14. Fuck my life.

Not quite this but something very similar.

Then there was the time during my apprenticeship when we all went out after a really busy service. It had been freakin' hectic and we all needed to blow off steam. Within two hours we were all trashed. And in the local nightclub the song 'Finding it Hard to Believe We're in Heaven' started playing. Of course our kitchen had alternate lyrics to this song. I won't list the entire song but here in the middle of City Rowers about thirty of us - kitchen and floor staff from about four different restaurants - all started sing 'I'm Finding it Hard to Believe your Eleven'

Other patrons were horrified. Some of the bar staff may or may not have joined in. I honestly don't know how we weren't all kicked out for it, but one things for sure we all agreed we would all be going to hell for that one!

 

[Trogdor1138]

. . . cheese pizza threads. . .

Someone had to say it.

i don't get this..

is this a troll moment or..?


OT:

yeah, i remember one in particular from a couple years ago, we were walking out of this building, while it was really cold out, and we saw an old guy coming, so we stopped and held the door open...he was walking towards, saw us holding the door open, and instead walked into the glass right next to the door thinking it was the opening..without a doubt in his mind he believed that was the opening, his head hit that shit so hard, and he fell back like an old turtle and basically launched his walking stick in the process, in which i laughed so fucking hard, i felt so god damn bad but it was soo funny at the time..

ALSO

back in 5th grade, we went to the courthouse for a field trip, and we were able to sit in on a very serious case, in which someone was getting put away for some very serious financial fraud thing, in which right when the jury found them "guilty", in which in the dead silence my friend down the row had the loudest high pitch fart wrap right off the wooden bench..and being the easily giggled person i am, i started cracking up, in which the judge screamed at us to both get out, and we were suspended =[ so yeah i highly regret that..

That thing about the courthouse just made me laugh so hard for like 3 minutes straight xD

 

[ReservoirAngel]

I also made a horrible comment recently that I didn't realise was horrible until a week later. Essentially, I'd heard my roomate and her boyfriend having sex, and the following morning she was looking really depressed in the living room. She told me not to worry, and as something intended as a light-hearted throwaway joke I said "hey, at least Jake's condom didn't break".

It did...she has an STD now...i feel horrible

I'm sorry but that is absolutely hilarious.

Then you are going to Hell my good man.

 

[KefkaCultist]

I once made a fire resistance joke about the jews in the holocaust... Before someone quotes me I would just like to say that I know I'm a terrible person for that and most of my quips are nowhere near that horrible.

Also I've cursed inside of a church, but I'm not religious so I don't give a fuck. The people around me sure as hell did though lol.

 

[dystopiaINC]

i had one when about five min after i had laughed my ass off to the point of not being able to breath, almost inducing an asthma attack, (and i don't even HAVE asthma)^^ the joke?

How do you make a little girl cry twice?

Spoiler

wipe you bloody phallus on her teddy bear!

yeah it had been a bad h=day and i needed a laugh so anything probably would have done it but it just happened to be THAT joke.

 

[Wintermoot]

although I made a few jokes about Priests that cant keep their hands to them selfs I never really felt ashamed about it (although if god is the Christian version he would send me to hell for making fun of people that believed in them)

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

i don't get it.

i don't get this..

is this a troll moment or..?

Made my day. No, it is not a troll post, but it is what we call a super-reference.

haha alright, i guess my internetz isn't strong enough for that one yet...maybe someday though..

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

...ALSO

back in 5th grade, we went to the courthouse for a field trip, and we were able to sit in on a very serious case, in which someone was getting put away for some very serious financial fraud thing, in which right when the jury found them "guilty", in which in the dead silence my friend down the row had the loudest high pitch fart wrap right off the wooden bench..and being the easily giggled person i am, i started cracking up, in which the judge screamed at us to both get out, and we were suspended =[ so yeah i highly regret that..

Oh, wow. That is awesome. I had a friend do something like that once, but it wasn't so serious.
That made my day though.

. . . cheese pizza threads. . .

Someone had to say it.

i don't get this..

is this a troll moment or..?


OT:

yeah, i remember one in particular from a couple years ago, we were walking out of this building, while it was really cold out, and we saw an old guy coming, so we stopped and held the door open...he was walking towards, saw us holding the door open, and instead walked into the glass right next to the door thinking it was the opening..without a doubt in his mind he believed that was the opening, his head hit that shit so hard, and he fell back like an old turtle and basically launched his walking stick in the process, in which i laughed so fucking hard, i felt so god damn bad but it was soo funny at the time..

ALSO

back in 5th grade, we went to the courthouse for a field trip, and we were able to sit in on a very serious case, in which someone was getting put away for some very serious financial fraud thing, in which right when the jury found them "guilty", in which in the dead silence my friend down the row had the loudest high pitch fart wrap right off the wooden bench..and being the easily giggled person i am, i started cracking up, in which the judge screamed at us to both get out, and we were suspended =[ so yeah i highly regret that..

That thing about the courthouse just made me laugh so hard for like 3 minutes straight xD

haha oh it was truly hilarious, my friend did the fart without missing a beat after the guilty part, that's basically why i died laughing (and idk if you know or not..but a fart clapping off a wooden seat doing a high C..priceless)