Things that "Final Fantasy" has taught me:

[Mostly Harmless]

FPS taught me

- if it moves shoot it

- gun and grenades solve everything

- hitting someone with the butt of your gun is more lethal than a shot in the chest

- all you need is a muscle bound space marine with a big ass gun to save the world

- if your hurt hide under a table for 5 seconds and all your wounds will be instantly healed
and if that doesn't work eat a box with a red cross on it

- all the worlds problems can be solves by moving from point A to point B and shooting anything that moves

-teabaging makes every one feel better

- when you shoot a gun there is a giant white circle that tells you where your aiming

- if you shoot a car 4 5 times it will go on fire and explode

- if you die don't worry you'll just come back to life 5 minutes ago to do every thing you just accomplished all over again

- man up a take those 5 gun shot would in your chest

- in war the best strategy is to run in guns blazing

- D-Day wasn't THAT BAD

- Nazis are the ultimate evil and must be shot

- its not blood its red paint

- all your allies are retarded and you have to everything

- in world war two one person did all the hard work and had a really bad nick name

 

[PlasticPorter]

That no matter if your a big monster, a doll controlling crack ho or wear one pant leg longer than the other that you too can have a final boss battle that drags on too long

or be loved, either one really

 

[-Seraph-]

actually...has there ever been a silver haired hero in FF?

Tales series yes but I don't remember any in FF.

Setzer from FF 6 and Firion/Frionel From FF2 both had silver hair, and both were made of awesome.

 

[Ritz Dijuto]

Firion has silver hair?

Man. I thought it was just a disgusting color of blue. Must be goin' color blind...


Anyway, I've also learned that taking a couple steps back from someone will halve the physical pain they could do to you with say, a punch to the face.

 

[Limos]

A weapon in a cutscene is instantly deadly despite the fact that you just fought through legions of enemies with the same weapons and the weapon barely hurt you.

 

[peterwolfe]

monsters drop EVERYTHING!
except what you want at the time.

 

[-Seraph-]

Firion has silver hair?

Man. I thought it was just a disgusting color of blue. Must be goin' color blind...


Anyway, I've also learned that taking a couple steps back from someone will halve the physical pain they could do to you with say, a punch to the face.

Yea the GBA messes it up badly, but if you look at the original concept art and him in dissidia he clearly has silver/white hair. That "blue" you see is his bandanna.

Anyways I learned:

-Don't fuck with clowns, they may look silly but they will do nasty things
-Mythical bird feathers revive dead people, but only if their death is not a plot device
-stones are no match for a needle made of gold
-Giant canary/ostrich birds are more worthy battle steeds than horses.
-It's easier to get a job in final fantasy than it is in real life, the pay is better too, risks...not so much
-If you have a German Shepard, it will always come to your rescue in battle
-Apparently putting propellers on a boat makes them fly
-Jumping really really high avoids all danger and your shins wont break upon landing.

 

[Limos]

Oh here's something I've learned.

Each and every established governement on the side of good completely deserves to be conquered. They are incapable of training an effective army, creating an effective transportation system or infrastructure, collect taxes or really do anything at all that a good governement should do.

In comparison the evil conquerors are almost uniformly a wonder of organization and efficiency with a highly trained army and advanced technology.

The good governments must rely on the goodwill of heros who they refuse to pay or equip and then send out on errands with no chance of reward all in the name of good.

 

[-Seraph-]

Oh here's something I've learned.

Each and every established governement on the side of good completely deserves to be conquered. They are incapable of training an effective army, creating an effective transportation system or infrastructure, collect taxes or really do anything at all that a good governement should do.

In comparison the evil conquerors are almost uniformly a wonder of organization and efficiency with a highly trained army and advanced technology.

The good governments must rely on the goodwill of heros who they refuse to pay or equip and then send out on errands with no chance of reward all in the name of good.

Yea heroes are like Community service or something with the good governments. The satisfaction of saving the world isn't going to pay the bills and go out to the pubs every friday. Good thing monsters always carry money on them, and they are easy to mug....for the most part.

 

[Hey Joe]

Final Fantasy has taught me, that when the zombie uprising occurs, I can survive by throwing medical products at them.

 

[blank0000]

Flamboyant men with bad hair cuts will determin the fate of the universe.

 

[Ritz Dijuto]

Yea the GBA messes it up badly, but if you look at the original concept art and him in dissidia he clearly has silver/white hair. That "blue" you see is his bandanna.

Speaking of concept art, is it just me or has lately Nomura's designs gone...uh...wacky?
Disturbing, maybe?
I mean, I'm kind of an Amano fan, but still.

More I've learned, ehm... don't mess with cacti. Ever.

 

[-Seraph-]

what do you mean disturbing? I never found anything wrong with either artists work.

 

[Whobajube]

No matter who you thought the main enemy was, there's always someone higher up.

 

[Ritz Dijuto]

what do you mean disturbing? I never found anything wrong with either artists work.

Nothing wrong at all. [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8e/Dissidia_cast.jpg]

Okay, maybe I was harsh to say disturbing, but...

Seriously, though, am I the only one who finds that picture both weird, appealing, yet mildly traumatic all the same?

....

Right, on topic.

Rule #??? - Science will always be evil. Especially Science that screws around with Magic.

 

[Isaac Dodgson]

Angst is directly proportional to size of weapon, how female the subject looks, how large their weapon happens to be, or a combination of the three.

No matter how high your skill level is, you're stuck with drop down and pop out menus for battles.

Cacti could take over the world, but choose to annoy you instead.

Don't sweat it, the world is gonna get saved eventually.

The word "Final" loses all meaning when "Fantasy" is involved

 

[N-Sef]

Whenever you fight a flamboyant swordsman, you run for the hills.

 

[gim73]

Paladin Cecil kinda looked like he had silver hair... with rainbow sprinkles in it.

WTF is up with that? No wonder he was always wearing a helmet. Plus, that hair was HUGE.

Anybody else figure that FF6 is the only ff game with a female protagonist? Terra and Celes can be figured to be the main character for each of the worlds.

I guess I'll throw in the plot to FFXI: Shadow king and army of beastmen try to take over the world. Alliance of men, elves and little folk band together and knock him down. 20 years later it looks like he's coming back so adventurers from the three nations have to band together to smack him down. This is accomplished by teaming up in groups of 6 and fighting enemies 2-5 levels above your own level for hundreds of hours until you are powerful enough to fight the shadow king in mission 5-2, or something like that.
-what I learned: fishing is profitable, but only in low level areas. rather than an auto translate function there should have been REGIONAL SERVERS, so we don't have to deal with half the party only speaking japanese and/or engrish. RMT can ruin a games economy so completely that it becomes impossible to advance without earning 1 million gil to buy a single spell.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Things I learned from Final Fantasy:

Skinny people can totally swing giant swords.
Angst is the key to victory.
Everyone looks like a girl until they hit twenty.
Ignoring women makes you hot.
Anyone who looks above the age of thirty is either a villain, not important or actualy dead.
The laws of physics are for pussies.
Canadian men don't need a weapon, they've got balls. Literally.
Standing in a row is the key to victory.
Not standing in a row is guaranted shittiness.
If you don't want to fight, giant monsters will do it for you.
Changing said giant monsters is guaranteed shittiness.
Having a bizzare sub-human creature on your team is the key to victory.
Hotels are actualy secret hospitals.
Cid, Biggs and Wedge are names for the ages
Wearing no armour is the key to victory.
Playing ball games underwater makes you immune to drowning.
Giant chickens are totally okay with you riding them.
Death is only avoidable to party members.
Black people ceased to exist after a man with silver hair tried to kill everyone.
Having three people fight at a time is the key to victory.
Wearing little clothing is publicly acceptable.
Blond people rule.

Just to clear things up a bit, Cid Highwind is thirty two and Barret is thirty five, so there. Dork knowledge.

 

[yeah_so_no]

That I don't actually want 'gender equality' in games in regards to costuming if it means that, instead of giving Fran a comfy pair of pants, Kuja's pants are instead taken away because THONG TIME~!

...Someone please give him pants. Or at least a pair of boxers. x_X