Things to say when Jehovah's Witnesses are on your doorstep

[Gunjack65]

At the time of writing there are a few Jehovahs Witnesses milling around outside and I have been going over cool things to say when/if they come to my door. Sadly I am probebly too damn polite to use any slightly rude comment.
What would you say when they come to your door? Anything you can think of from the top of your head.

 

[Bruin]

Sorry, Thor got here first.

 

[Kortney]

I say to them as nice as possible "Sorry, I'm not interested. Thank you for your time."

There's no point giving them grief or acting like a knobhead.

 

[Antitonic]

Don't say anything, just start beating your head against the wall. It worked for me.

I say to them as nice as possible "Sorry, I'm not interested. Thank you for your time."

There's no point giving them grief or acting like a knobhead.

True, but I think the point may be to get rid of them quickly. The ones around me, at least, don't take "not interested" for an answer.

 

[imnot]

"FUCK YOU BALTIMORE!" eh mabey thats not such a good idea, (sorry was watching big bills hell ,again)
just say your not intrested then pull out a shotgun.

 

[Smeg_head]

When they started talking about their religion, my dad cut in and started blabbing on about Hoa Hao Buddhism, it certainly taught me alot of my own religion xD

 

[Jack and Calumon]

Sorry, I refuse to give Evidence to the Jehovah trial under the fact that I don't personally know the guy. If you witnessed him, you should be in court.

Calumon: Wanna play?

 

[Lacsapix]

Yes I have read the bible and yes there could be something higher, but that is up to me to decide what I belive not yours.
Once they know your not going to join there ranks, they turn and even say good bye.

 

[minus_273c]

I let them say their bit and then point out that -

#1. I'm an atheist, although not in a strident, Richard Dawkins, manner.

#2. I've had large transfusions (5+ units) of blood on several occasions, the primary to save my life after motorcycle accident, and I really like being alive.

This usually does the trick.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Stare them down until they slowly back away.
Or just put up your hand and open your mouth as if you're about to say something, then just turn around and slam the door.

 

[Urgh76]

Don't say anything, just start beating your head against the wall. It worked for me.

Damn where is that guy's avatar when you need him? XD

i cant remember his name, but I know he got a new one of that.

OT: "Hey, could you do me a favor? You see that fire extinguisher?"

 

[Matzilla]

i said "Sorry im a satanist" works everytime xD

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Open the door whilst holding a large knife and say: "Excuse me, do you mind making this quick? The heart must be cut out whilst it is still beating." You probably won't need to say anything else....

Seriously though, just say that you don't want to waste your time or theirs and wish them a good day. Politeness works wonders.

 

[Jezzascmezza]

Point behind them and say "Look, a distraction!"
Then either slam the door on them when they turn around, or kick them up the arse.

 

[TheOtter]

I'm polite but I've always wanted to do something with Hypnotoad....

 

[Slangeveld]

Not interested, but good luck.

 

[Doctor Panda]

Some once came to me and said 'can you imagine a perfect world'
and i immediately said 'not really, the trials and tribulations that i have gone through have created what i am. and the people i admire most in the world are those that have gone through terrible hardship and come out the other side better for it'

not entirely sure why i said that, just came to mind. i was pretty tired, they woke me up. anyway, they immediately went 'oh... i'll have to think about that' and walked off

true story

 

[VivaciousDeimos]

Tell them, politely, that you already have your beliefs sorted out, and aren't interested in converting. Or simply don't answer the door.

Sorry, Thor got here first.

This could also work

 

[Ava Elzbieta]

"Dinner's here!"

I let them say their bit and then point out that -

#1. I'm an atheist, although not in a strident, Richard Dawkins, manner.

#2. I've had large transfusions (5+ units) of blood on several occasions, the primary to save my life after motorcycle accident, and I really like being alive.

This usually does the trick.

Or this.