Things you are unlikely to hear a game developer say?

[The Rogue Wolf]

"Our publisher has basically given us the go-ahead to take all the time and resources we need to polish this game up right. They want a good game as much as we do."

 

[Nomad]

"This game is going to be awful. Seriously, you really don't want to waste your money on it."

 

[Avatar Roku]

I...what? Uhm... "We're happy that people loved our game, but we don't do sequels, we have plenty of original ideas" ?

What about Tim Schafer? Being fair, Psychonauts was not a success commercially, but critics loved it, it's actually sold a good deal in the intervening years, and there's been outcry for a sequel, but he doesn't want to because he didn't envision it as a series.

 

[Plurralbles]

"Our game is shit. We know it's shit. We know it was released for the last 10 years every single year with minimal improvement. But we expect you to buy it anyway because a monkey wrote the main scripts"

 

[Dr. Paine]

That Hideo Kojima is a fan of "Twilight."

Oh, wait.

...

Do I want to know?

 

[Riobux]

"Okay, so this game will be released globally at the same date".

 

[More Fun To Compute]

"Narrative just isn't that important to us. We would rather get praise and attention for making games that are great to play rather than to just sit back and watch or experience."

 

[Skratt]

"We have decided to stop developing World of Warcraft and the Cataclysm will be the last XPAC."

 

[CloakedOne]

"Hey guys, I was thinking...maybe we should take part in the movie about our game to a degree that it doesn't suck such complete and total ass! Maybe, if we send people to pay attention to what they're putting our name on, the movie might actually be...dare I say it? Good!"

(I refer you to every game-turned-movie ever. Chief complaint: Resident Evil)

 

[CrysisMcGee]

"People only care about writing, story, and gameplay! They don't give a shit about graphics!"

"Duke Nukem Forever will bring world peace"

It damn well better.

 

[That's Funny]

''I think video games are evil and make children phsycopaths''

''I'm wearing god of war underwear''

''I prefer Raiden anyway''

Oh wait.

 

[oppp7]

We've decided to stop pushing Starcraft 2 back and set up a final release date.

 

[Alkestes]

"Lets make it more like Two Worlds."

Oh my word, I will never be able to convey just how much I laughed upon reading that.

OT: "Funny story, Halo was originally going to be set in France during World War II!"

Or "We're going to be adding a new playable race into World of Warcraft...the Murlocs!" SHUT UP, I CAN DREAM.

 

[CrysisMcGee]

"This game is awful, lets fix it - rather than releasing it as is"

That's exactly what Troika games did with Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines. It was so bug ridden that they worked more than a week without pay to fix it.

Then Activision took all their money and shut down the company. If they had gotten 25 percent of what Activision got for publishing the game, they'd still be in business.

Also being released on the same day as Half-Life 2 didn't help.

 

[IamQ]

The word "fuck". Never.

 

[Alphavillain]

"To be honest, all these empty buzz-words I'm using to advertise this game are just so much soulless advertising waffle, and I have little faith that anyone will remember this entirely generic title a couple of months after release. Oh...God...what's the fucking point?"

 

[acebrainbuster]

i just want to hear them say it once, "sorry , we totally fucked and and are willing to admit that"