chinangel said:
I direct this question at my fellow female gamers out there. While at work I was playing my PSP, now I struggle already with social situations but I like to think I try. Anyways, one of my co-workers commented that girls really don't play games much (she was also female if it matters) which made me really embarrassed and actually ashamed of my title as a girl gamer. I also spoke briefly with a few of the boys there about other games, mostly shooters.
Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease? Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?
I'd like to open that if my name isn't any indication already, I'm a guy. Therefore, since this thread was originally targeted at women, feel free to disregard what I say.
That being said, from what you've said so far... No. There is no good reason why you should feel ashamed or hide the fact that you play games.
There is a reason, though not really a good one, why you
do though. We are and have been in an age where gender roles and norms have been and are being redefined across many different spectra of society. It really goes both ways, but by far the biggest, longest, and hardest list of changes is on the female side. For sure. And a lot of people, yes, but definitely a lot of women
such as the one who made that comment have trouble realizing especially because the purpose of all this change is not to force it but to open up options, something that really doesn't help at all is generalizations.
Take the idea of the stay-at-home Dad. Now, in today's modern society, men don't have to be the family bread-winners. Its ok for them to be the caretakers. Its ok for them to cook, clean, change diapers, and take little Jethro and Sue (or whatever you think is a good name for kids) too and from school, soccer, Aikido, bassoon practice, what-have-you. Now, that being said, walk up to any guy and ask them if they'd want to be a stay-at-home dad, and if they'd be ashamed of it. My answers would be yes and no, but I don't think your average male of the species would answer the first one similarly, and severely doubt they'd say no on the second. And it's not because they should be ashamed, but in the same way, because they do feel ashamed, especially when they know or think that most men are out there working their tails off trying to provide a good living for their family by working. As I said before, I would want to, and would not be ashamed, but that's for a lot of different reasons, one of which being actively pursuing a career I could do just as easily from home as from the office.
For a different one, more on topic with gender roles... I'm actively studying Japanese, trying to slowly work my way towards native level proficiency (that whole career idear). As I have graduated college, my biggest way to keep studying is Manga, Japanese comic books. This is because I find a lot of different dialects I can't learn in text books, normally appearing kanji that is in a format where I won't be immediately overwhelmed like with a newspaper, and new vocabulary not only being presented, but used in context in specific fields such as medicine. This is slightly shameful in America because of the huge geek factor there. There are even other geeks, gaming geeks, who shun people who read manga, and categorize anyone who reads it in Japanese as a clinically sociopathic Japanophile. But, I also experience some degree of shame here in Japan when I try to study this way, because due to kanji involved, actually using modern normal vocabulary instead of stuff made up have the time, and being very dialogue heavy, I usually end up using shoujou manga (Lit. Japanese comics for young women) rather than action-heavy male-targeted manga (or actually, action heavy any-targeted manga. There are some female targeted action manga too.) Should I feel ashamed in either case? No. Do I? Well, often, yes.
Segue done, now back to being absolutely completely on topic.
Women like the one who said girls don't play games not only grew up believing that all normal female entertainment involves dolls, flowers, soap operas and romance pulp novels, but still believe that. In fact, the women who hate games and think no girls play them probably are either ultra-feminist and believe gaming as a whole is a stew of deliberate society-destroying misogyny, ignorant, or actively soak themselves in all things feminine, much like the stereotypical Beverly Hills chick or the equally stereotypical high school head cheerleader. Either way, women who believe this do significantly more to hurt the removal of and redefining of gender roles for the better than men who do it, particularly because of the effects of peer pressure being stronger when its the same gender.
