It's hit a note that's just off to me and it's been scratching the chalkboard in my brain for days. I'm going to start this with a warning label, if you've ever been the victim of a sexual assault and to this day discussion of the subject makes you uncomfortable or rubs glass in psychic wounds please head for the exit. You're not going to hurt my feelings by not reading this and I'm seriously going to discuss the hell out of the subject without any tip-toeing.
This all started bothering me because my long time girl-friend was raped and the recent controversy bothered her. I was offended on her behalf to be honest. But the "why" isn't what you think. I'm upset because of the outrage that flared up. There's this underlining tone to some of it that's really offensive. There're a lot of people that seem to view rape as a fate worse than death. There are even more who seem to believe that rape utterly destroys a person, robbing their lives of all joy and forever crippling them. You know, that could be true for some people. And I feel bad for those people. But that's not everyone. Every victim of rape does not live the rest of their entire life thinking of themselves as a victim.
There's no one in the world I respect more than my girl. She's the strongest person I know and she's been through some terrible ordeals. Her rape was just a bad thing that happened to her. It wasn't the defining moment of her life. The way they handled the scene in Tomb Raider could have been handled better, sure. Maybe even the intent behind it, that Lara's femininity would be leveraged to make her a damsel in distress for you the big strong player to protect, was a little messed up and ran against the grain of her established character. But the premise that rape can be trauma that can be overcome where the person comes out stronger, this is not flawed. It's kind of annoying that some people don't even think it possible.
Let's say a guy loses both his legs in a horrifying accident. They were bit off by a shark, I don't know. There's a couple ways this could go. The man can live his life "crippled" by this. Haunted by the memory of that shark every night. Reminded everyday when he looks down at limbs that don't exist. His work life could collapse. His home life, friends, romances. You don't have to lose your own legs to conceptualize the hardships this guy "could" face. But if I was to tell you that losing your legs is the worst thing that could happen to you, that it was more merciful to die than live crippled that way. If I was to say to you that all paraplegics lead a sad empty life and could never hope to reclaim a semblance of what they had before well... I'd kind of be spitting in the face of everyone who overcame their disabilities. I'd be disrespecting everyone who went on to live happy fulfilling lives even after losing limbs.
That's what's happening right now with this whole rape mess. The worst part of this is that the people doing it believe they are being respectful to all rape victims. They are genuinely trying to be nice. A big problem here is that people are saying Rape should not be in video games at all. It's too sensitive a topic to discuss. I say No. It's too sensitive a topic because no one is willing to discuss it. And we should. As mature adults there should not be conversations we can't have. Misunderstandings like this one spring up because no one is willing to have the dialogue.
There's even a whole Rape vs Murder debate going on. It's been discussed by Jim Sterling and in several articles here on the site. I'll let you in on something right now. Murder is worse than Rape. Killing someone is (just about) the worst thing you could possibly do to them. To kill someone is to remove them from everyone else's lives. It robs them of all the combined joys they could ever possibly have and steals any impact they could have had on other people and the world at large. The best thing about you is that you are alive, so long as that's true anything's possible. To cease existing is to lose all those possibilities.
If you'll let me paint you a picture: A fate WORSE than Death is a life filled with Nothing but pain, sadness, and/or fear. It is a place where hope and joy are not even possible. A life like that is one where death is a mercy and suicide is simply an escape that one you couldn't be blamed for taking.
Now I know what many people are going to say. Rape bothers you more than Murder, therefore it is worse than Murder. But this is wrong. It is not correct. We are desensitized to death and physical violence because we are exposed to it so often. Violence and Murder are part of the discussion and have been for a very long time, that's the only reason it doesn't bother you. As a society, especially over here in the US of A, sex is not really part of our discussion. Rape deals with sex, Rape is also not talked about, we are not desensitized to it so it bothers us more than Murder does.
Another thing that's just silly. In the last few days I've been reading and hearing about how killing in most games is pretty justified within the context of the story. It's all about bad people getting what they deserve. The argument, as it is made, is that while games can justify killing, they can never justify rape. And ya know, I'm going to dispute both of those points just for the hell of it.
Jim Sterling and Andy Chalk both independently label videogame killing as a justifiable and even heroic act. Jim makes the point that you're doing your killing in self defense anyway. Let's assume that none of us has ever played a game where an enemy was disarmed and we had the choice of killing them or not and we shot them in the face or something anyway. I still wonder then if we've been playing the same games. In a sandbox game such as Skyrim, Saints Row, Grand Theft Auto, etc. I don't know any Gamer who hasn't gone off the reservation and just killed a bunch of defenseless civilians. Just for the hell it. Just cause it was funny to watch them die. Justify that. Tell me how stabbing townsfolk in Skyrim or running pedestrians down in Grand Theft Auto are victimless acts with subconscious heroic undertones.
Fine, you say, but how can you justify rape in a videogame? Or ever for that matter? In the same exact way, by the same exact logic, as stabbing or shooting a villain to death. If you can say that a death sentence is a fine way to punish someone for evil deeds then rape as a (at best) equivalent evil is just as justifiable.
The kicker for this one is that you might still say that rape can't be justified. Thing of it is since murder is (just about) the worst thing you could ever do you can't really justify that either. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with murder being totally abhorrent and doing it in videogames anyway because videogames are pretend.
Even if it's clumsily handled we shouldn't wholesale ban rape (I am aware that neither Sterling nor Chalk suggested such a ban) from games because if we do that we'll never get to a point where we can address it maturely. We have to be able to think of people who have been raped as PEOPLE, and not just victims living as shivering bundles of fear and sadness. We have to be able to respect them properly. We have to be able to express rape in our stories because it's a part of the human condition. And we can't do that if no one is willing to talk about it.
This all started bothering me because my long time girl-friend was raped and the recent controversy bothered her. I was offended on her behalf to be honest. But the "why" isn't what you think. I'm upset because of the outrage that flared up. There's this underlining tone to some of it that's really offensive. There're a lot of people that seem to view rape as a fate worse than death. There are even more who seem to believe that rape utterly destroys a person, robbing their lives of all joy and forever crippling them. You know, that could be true for some people. And I feel bad for those people. But that's not everyone. Every victim of rape does not live the rest of their entire life thinking of themselves as a victim.
There's no one in the world I respect more than my girl. She's the strongest person I know and she's been through some terrible ordeals. Her rape was just a bad thing that happened to her. It wasn't the defining moment of her life. The way they handled the scene in Tomb Raider could have been handled better, sure. Maybe even the intent behind it, that Lara's femininity would be leveraged to make her a damsel in distress for you the big strong player to protect, was a little messed up and ran against the grain of her established character. But the premise that rape can be trauma that can be overcome where the person comes out stronger, this is not flawed. It's kind of annoying that some people don't even think it possible.
Let's say a guy loses both his legs in a horrifying accident. They were bit off by a shark, I don't know. There's a couple ways this could go. The man can live his life "crippled" by this. Haunted by the memory of that shark every night. Reminded everyday when he looks down at limbs that don't exist. His work life could collapse. His home life, friends, romances. You don't have to lose your own legs to conceptualize the hardships this guy "could" face. But if I was to tell you that losing your legs is the worst thing that could happen to you, that it was more merciful to die than live crippled that way. If I was to say to you that all paraplegics lead a sad empty life and could never hope to reclaim a semblance of what they had before well... I'd kind of be spitting in the face of everyone who overcame their disabilities. I'd be disrespecting everyone who went on to live happy fulfilling lives even after losing limbs.
That's what's happening right now with this whole rape mess. The worst part of this is that the people doing it believe they are being respectful to all rape victims. They are genuinely trying to be nice. A big problem here is that people are saying Rape should not be in video games at all. It's too sensitive a topic to discuss. I say No. It's too sensitive a topic because no one is willing to discuss it. And we should. As mature adults there should not be conversations we can't have. Misunderstandings like this one spring up because no one is willing to have the dialogue.
There's even a whole Rape vs Murder debate going on. It's been discussed by Jim Sterling and in several articles here on the site. I'll let you in on something right now. Murder is worse than Rape. Killing someone is (just about) the worst thing you could possibly do to them. To kill someone is to remove them from everyone else's lives. It robs them of all the combined joys they could ever possibly have and steals any impact they could have had on other people and the world at large. The best thing about you is that you are alive, so long as that's true anything's possible. To cease existing is to lose all those possibilities.
If you'll let me paint you a picture: A fate WORSE than Death is a life filled with Nothing but pain, sadness, and/or fear. It is a place where hope and joy are not even possible. A life like that is one where death is a mercy and suicide is simply an escape that one you couldn't be blamed for taking.
Now I know what many people are going to say. Rape bothers you more than Murder, therefore it is worse than Murder. But this is wrong. It is not correct. We are desensitized to death and physical violence because we are exposed to it so often. Violence and Murder are part of the discussion and have been for a very long time, that's the only reason it doesn't bother you. As a society, especially over here in the US of A, sex is not really part of our discussion. Rape deals with sex, Rape is also not talked about, we are not desensitized to it so it bothers us more than Murder does.
Another thing that's just silly. In the last few days I've been reading and hearing about how killing in most games is pretty justified within the context of the story. It's all about bad people getting what they deserve. The argument, as it is made, is that while games can justify killing, they can never justify rape. And ya know, I'm going to dispute both of those points just for the hell of it.
Jim Sterling and Andy Chalk both independently label videogame killing as a justifiable and even heroic act. Jim makes the point that you're doing your killing in self defense anyway. Let's assume that none of us has ever played a game where an enemy was disarmed and we had the choice of killing them or not and we shot them in the face or something anyway. I still wonder then if we've been playing the same games. In a sandbox game such as Skyrim, Saints Row, Grand Theft Auto, etc. I don't know any Gamer who hasn't gone off the reservation and just killed a bunch of defenseless civilians. Just for the hell it. Just cause it was funny to watch them die. Justify that. Tell me how stabbing townsfolk in Skyrim or running pedestrians down in Grand Theft Auto are victimless acts with subconscious heroic undertones.
Fine, you say, but how can you justify rape in a videogame? Or ever for that matter? In the same exact way, by the same exact logic, as stabbing or shooting a villain to death. If you can say that a death sentence is a fine way to punish someone for evil deeds then rape as a (at best) equivalent evil is just as justifiable.
The kicker for this one is that you might still say that rape can't be justified. Thing of it is since murder is (just about) the worst thing you could ever do you can't really justify that either. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with murder being totally abhorrent and doing it in videogames anyway because videogames are pretend.
Even if it's clumsily handled we shouldn't wholesale ban rape (I am aware that neither Sterling nor Chalk suggested such a ban) from games because if we do that we'll never get to a point where we can address it maturely. We have to be able to think of people who have been raped as PEOPLE, and not just victims living as shivering bundles of fear and sadness. We have to be able to respect them properly. We have to be able to express rape in our stories because it's a part of the human condition. And we can't do that if no one is willing to talk about it.