Those people who fail so much.

[AvsJoe]

Yes. I know someone (let's call her Bauer) who politely laughs whenever someone tells a joke, then actually laughs 2 to 5 minutes later because she finally gets the punchline.

This provided some serious laughs a few years ago when at a party a bunch of us were telling jokes. My brother's then girlfriend told a version of this joke:

Spoiler: Joke

It was the night of the palace ball and Cinderella couldn't stop crying. Her fairy God-mother was very distraught. "Cinderella," she said, "Why are you crying? You have a beautiful gown, a shiny pair of glass slippers, and you're about to have one of the best evenings of your life!" But Cinderella continued to cry. "I know," she said, sobbing, "but I've looked everywhere and I can't find my diaphragm! What am I going to do!?!" she cried again.

The fairy Godmother thought for a moment, and then said, "I'll make you a diaphragm, but only for tonight and you HAVE to be back by midnight or it will turn into a pumpkin." "Thank you! Thank you!" she shrieked, and she went hurrying out the door so she wouldn't be late.

The fairy God-mother smiled, happy to have pleased Cinderella so much. She settled down in front of the fire to await Cinderella's return.

The fairy God-mother waited. And she waited. And she waited, until finally 12 o'clock rolled around and there was still no sign of Cinderella. The fairy God-mother started to get worried. One o'clock rolled around and then came two and then three and the fairy God-mother had worked herself into a frenzy thinking about all of the horrible things that could have happened to her.

Suddenly, the door swings open and Cinderella comes sauntering in in a daze with a lazy smile painted on her face, a little drunken swagger in her walk and kind of breathes a tired hello.

The fairy God-mother's eyes got big and she jumps up. "What happened? Are you ok?" she said with a frantic voice.

"I'm just fine," she murmured. I was on my way home when I met the most lovely man.... Peter, Peter something or other."

Everyone laughed (we were drunk and laughing at everything) including Bauer. Then, two and a half jokes later, Bauer starts bawling with laughter. She is almost screaming she was laughing so hard. We looked at each other for a second before she screamed "PETER PETER PUMPKIN EATER!!!"

To this day I never let her forget about that. Invariably, every time I see her, I work Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater into the conversation.

 

[Dark Knifer]

Not the kind of fail your talking about, but I do know a girl who has a tendency to fall over alot...

 

[NobodyPro]

What about someone who uses really big words in order to sound smart. E.G: "Now the kitchen's pristine!" after cleaning it during home-eco or "That's ironic." after a random pedestrian trips over or "Let's go and masticate." when going off with some friends to drink something, mmmm... crunchy beer. Look 'em up.

 

[boholikeu]

Making fun of a seemingly less than intelligent person for their apparent lack of musical knowledge is pretty disgraceful.

Weak people - they bring others down to build themselves up.

He's not less intelligent, he just says stupid things.

Calling him names, making fun of him, and including him in this thread - all things that are less than intelligent.

Yeah well, have your opinion.

I think her point is that if he was really being serious (as you indicated in your OP) you're essentially just making fun of his ignorance, which is a pretty petty thing to do.

Now if he was saying all this sarcastically, or if he claimed to be a music genius, it'd be a different matter.

 

[Merkavar]

i knew a guy that said a poem wasnt a poem cause it didnt rhyme. the teacher infront of the class asked if he was still in primary school or something. he was in year 10 or 11 in high school.

 

[ultimateownage]

Yes. I'll tell you about this girl in my school, let's just call her 'Ginger'.
So far she has:
Fail #1: (Watching a speeded up video of a plant growing.) "Do they really grow that fast?"
Fail #2: She thought the sun and the moon were the same thing.
Fail #3: She thought pigeons were extinct and the birds outside were all ducks.
Fail #4: She though hail stones were rocks.
Fail #5: She asked me if I had cut my hair, and I said "No, it just fell out." She believed me.
And that's just what I can remember. That's maybe half of it.

 

[CouchCommando]

Meh sounds like me when I was at school, but my excuse was lack of sleep.

 

[Tanis]

I've had a teacher that argued AGAINST Evolution...in a science class.

She was all lovely dovey at 'intelligent design' and how it was okay to teach it because ID didn't subscribe to any one religion.

So, next day I brought in few...uh...stories.
You know, like the Norse and Greek and Roman and Scientogist ones about how an intelligent being designed the world.

Long story short?
She tried to get me kicked out of her class, but failed.
She tried to fail all my assignment & give me more work than the other students, she failed.
I went to the Principal, I failed.
I went to the School Board complaining of abuse, she got unpaid leave and we got a new teacher till the end of the year.

The next semester she tried the same shit, harassed a friend in the class for hanging out with me...
We got her fired.

Good times, good times.

 

[Rarhnor]

Your shogun orders you to answer for me:

1. An opinion, maybe the kid thinks that a guitar wouldn't suit Green Day. I know some rock bands that only use bass and drums, and they sound fine.

2.Can't remember exactly when they started, but Green Day is a 20th and 21st century rock band, he answered "half and half", meaning they're both 20th and 21st rock.

3. Teacher didn't give pre-defined meaning of "popular", leaving student to give opinion on if they're popular.

Paris one was just a trick question that many people can get wrong.

You have retained your honor.

I know there are people out there, whose behavior can't be excused, but this isn't the case.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

Some girl in grade 11 science class said

"Wait?! you mean dinosaurs were real?"

Wow, and I thought my classmates were stupid for not knowing anything about the world wars (or any history for that matter)

I am officially gob-smacked at how incredibly stupid that statement was.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

People who did meth hardcore can be hilarious.

Examples:

"I need a hat, do you have a hat? I need to intimidate someone."
"Hey [REDACTED], does the top of that laptop remind you of Jumanji, like the game?"
"Have you ever seen a gas tank, like, on it's side with gas coming out?"
My friend: "Where do you get your ideas?" Meth guy: "I drive. I look into other people's cars and try to think what they want."
"Wouldn't it be cool if you could like move your ribs in the X-ray machines to say stuff, like in Morse Code? But you'd probably need to be Egyptian, like how they do mummies."

Run up to one and scream "HELP I'M ON FIRE!" (make sure they don't have a drink)

It is literally the funniest thing you will ever see.

 

[Snarky Username]

There's this kid named Billy (not really) that would fail completely in almost every way. He actually has three facebook groups dedicated to him. The first and most popular one was called "Fail Billy Fail." Also I think he might have Asperger's. There's no way anyone is that socially awkward. Everything he says is either hilariously silly or just extremely awkward. He has almost no redeeming qualities as a person.

 

[Dublin Solo]

There is this kid at school (we have affectionally named him Fail Kid) who fails so much.

Two examples from today:

Teacher-" So the topics we will be studying in music over the next 12 months with be, 'An Instrument and it's repertoire', 'Music of the 20th and 21st Century', and 'Popular Music'. It will be really easy. Let's just take Green Day for example, now Fail Kid (the teacher did't call him that btw), would you say the guitar would be a good choice for the repertoire of Green Day?"

Fail Kid: "No, not really" (seriously, not as a joke)

Teacher: "Umm, yes it is, would you classify them in the 20th to the 21st century?"

Fail Kid: "Oh, half and half"
(Laughter)

Teacher: "Ok, and would you say they were popular?"

Fail Kid: "Naa"

Teacher: "Umm, yes they would, it's rock"

And-

Person in class: "Hey Fail Kid what's the capital of Paris?"

Fail Kid: "France, duh" (Again seriously)

So do any of you know anyone like this?

You know... I sincerely hope for you and your pride that you never find yourself in a situation where what you thought to be right, given your experience, is made fun of by other people.

That kid didn't know a thing about Greed Day, apparently. I don't either, but that's not a point.

I know people who, in my opinion, seem to fail at things. I don't create a cult around them.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

There are some kids who are like that in my englich & science class, but I managed to help one of them become smart and dedicated.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Person in class: "Hey Fail Kid what's the capital of Paris?"

Fail Kid: "France, duh" (Again seriously)

So do any of you know anyone like this?

And as for the Paris one, it's a pretty stupid answer to say France, it's not really a trick question, it's common sence.

Not really. It's more of a case of association over-riding an irrational question.

"What's the capital of Paris?"

Paris isn't a country, so in this sense it's a trick question.

The answer he gave was "France."

Which is the correct association in that Paris is the capital of France.

It's easy enough to twist around a nonsensical question and reflexively answer something that more or less makes sense.

Like this:
"What's the capital of Paris?"
-Uh, Paris is a city, not a country. They must mean what country is Paris the capital of.
"France."
...

More than anything this is mainly a sign of someone answering so quickly that they miss the fact that the question doesn't quite make sense.

 

[DJDarque]

When I am extremely tired, like have been up for 24 hours, I will start to say stupid things like this. I once told my friends that it was impossible to smoke bacon, because in my tired ass mind smoke equated to inhaling and I was convinced in my own mind they were trying to smoke bacon like a cigarette.

 

[Crystalite]

Person in class: "Hey Fail Kid what's the capital of Paris?"
Fail Kid: "France, duh" (Again seriously)

Did this make you feel good?
Asking trick questions and feeling superior when they are answered like intendet is just... poor.
If stuff like this makes you feel strong, I feel sorry for you.

Edit: Yes, of course it is a trick question. If you do not understand the mechanism of such rhetorik while using it yourself, you may want to don that failhat yourself.

 

[Jedamethis]

No, I don't make fun of people. If they say stupid things then I laugh, correct them, and explain why. The look of gratitude always makes me feel fuzzy, especially if other people pick on them because they're not clever. ^-^

 

[shadyh8er]

Friend: "I hate anime!"

Me: "Dude, you watch Pokemon and enjoy it."

Friend: "Pokemon's not anime!"

*facepalm*

 

[Valkyrie101]

I've had a teacher that argued AGAINST Evolution...in a science class.

She was all lovely dovey at 'intelligent design' and how it was okay to teach it because ID didn't subscribe to any one religion.

So, next day I brought in few...uh...stories.
You know, like the Norse and Greek and Roman and Scientogist ones about how an intelligent being designed the world.

Long story short?
She tried to get me kicked out of her class, but failed.
She tried to fail all my assignment & give me more work than the other students, she failed.
I went to the Principal, I failed.
I went to the School Board complaining of abuse, she got unpaid leave and we got a new teacher till the end of the year.

The next semester she tried the same shit, harassed a friend in the class for hanging out with me...
We got her fired.

Good times, good times.

*smiles and offers cake*

Congratulations.

-----

"Is Belgium in Germany?" This was on a school trip to Belgium.