Those Things You Can Count On Here

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

We all know of these things. OK, maybe not all of us, but for the most part, we know of certain Escapist members (past, present and dearly banhammered) here that, whenever that topic eventually arises, you know they'll show up to do their thing. For example, you can count on:

j-e-f-f-e-r-s to defend Nintendo to the death

EternalNothingness to rant about MLP, or something similar

Zeel to whine about Mass Effect 3

Daystar Clarion to worship Okami and to derail threads

EvilSmurf to have, show and/or mention cats

Spidermod to be about Spiderman (love you sky14!)

Kross and his self-aware post count

...and certainly we couldn't go without mentioning...

DVS BSTrD and his timely puns. (RIP Hankman)

So fellow Escapist, besides these examplars of Escapism, what are those things you can count on from people here?

 

[Sassafrass]

Someone, somewhere will take issue with something you said and be an asshole about it.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Someone, somewhere will take issue with something you said and be an asshole about it.

That's a lie, you dick.

(Love you too)

If you mention anything remotely feminism/gender related, there will be a flamewar.

 

[Queen Michael]

You can count on Queen Michael to be extremely cool and awesome.

 

[Aedes]

Well, you can count on TheRightToArmBears to make me feel really dizzy thanks to his freaking rainbow cat avatar, that's for sure.

You can also count on me to be that weird crawler who is somewhat active but not always and pretty much never leaves any insighful post on any thread ever. Like this one. I dare anyone take that title from me!

 

[Andy Shandy]

Those overzealous and despicable mods will suspended and ban people for no reason!

[sub]There you go, Topaz, just for you! Even did it with the italicized parts too =P[/sub]

Anyway, me banging on about Platinum Games (this will almost certainly have Daystar as well, probably more depending on the game in question), Viva Pinata, Mirror's Edge and Sonic perhaps a bit too much at times.

Any topic with even a sniff of discussing feminism will blow up into an almighty flame-war that those aforementioned mods will eventually have to deal with.

 

[shrekfan246]

Mortai Gravesend would be rolling in his banhammered grave were he to see all of the topics on sexism and feminism we've had lately that he couldn't contribute to.

You can always count on Andy Chalk and Grey Carter to write up things that get people into a frothy rage over one line.

You can count on Half-Life 2 to be called both the greatest and most overrated game of all time.

Oh, and you can generally count on somebody still acting like Sonic the Hedgehog is stuck in 2006 and there haven't been better, more solid games than Sonic '06 that show a fairly consistent trend of improving, quality and production value-wise.

 

[Generic4me]

I smell imminent banning from this thread.

Though we can always count on there being a 14 page thread that isn't DIRECTLY addressing feminism or women in gaming, and the last 7 pages are the same 4 people very angrily shouting at each other.

Oh yeah, and quote walls. Everywhere.

 

[Thaluikhain]

You can count on the Critical Miss comic not to have enough Scary Penny nowdays.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

It's a thread talking about prominent posters (not me, I just never leave, cos I'm a shut in )

Therefore someone will post about how we're all circle jerking each other and blah blah blah blah.

Blah blah, blah blah blah.

 

[Ed130 The Vanguard]

You can count on [user]shrekfan246[/user] having a J-pop Avatar as well as [user]Caramel Frappe[/user], well having a Caramel Frappe somewhere on his Avatar.

And lets not forget [user]Soviet Heavy[/user]'s Blackadder Headdesking, [user]Andy Shandy[/user]'s Wonderful 101 transformation, [user]Zhukov[/user]'s grumpy ork guy with the sideburns, [user]Hero in a half shell[/user]'s jumping turtle, [user]Dexter111[/user] and Brock Samson, [user]Genocidicles[/user] creepy Thunderbirds montage, and I will never forget [user]lacktheknack[/user]'s corrupted horror.

 

[In Search of Username]

99% of the posts in any topic about gender will be complaining about the existence of a topic about gender.

 

[Zhukov]

Aw man, this thread has flame bait written all over it. You just know someone out there wants to write, "You can count on User X to be a whiny little *****."

...

How about... you can count on any thread involving Anita Sarkhoweveryouspellit to explode in passive-aggressive flames.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Aw man, this thread has flame bait written all over it. You just know someone out there wants to write, "You can count on User X to be a whiny little *****."

...

How about... you can count on any thread involving Anita Sarkhoweveryouspellit to explode in passive-aggressive flames.

Jesus Christ, Zhukov, you're such a whiny little *****.

[sub][sub]Looooooove youuuuuuuu <3[/sub][/sub]

 

[Able Seacat]

"You can count on User X to be a whiny little *****."

You can count on Zhukov to be a...

Spoiler

lovely person You just passed 10000 posts!

OT: You can count on someone to make a thread asking why do other people like something they don't like.

EDIT: Feck, and you can count on being ninja'd too.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

"You can count on User X to be a whiny little *****."

You can count on Zhukov to be a...

Spoiler

lovely person You just passed 10000 posts!

OT: You can count on someone to make a thread asking why do other people like something they don't like.

EDIT: Feck, and you can count on being ninja'd too.

[HEADING=1]oh he mad[/HEADING]

Spoiler

What you gonna do huh?

What you gonna do!?

 

[Able Seacat]

"You can count on User X to be a whiny little *****."

You can count on Zhukov to be a...

Spoiler

lovely person You just passed 10000 posts!

OT: You can count on someone to make a thread asking why do other people like something they don't like.

EDIT: Feck, and you can count on being ninja'd too.

[HEADING=1]oh he mad[/HEADING]

Spoiler

What you gonna do huh?

What you gonna do!?

Spoiler

I let you ninja me on purpose to make a point of course _> You ain't got nothin' on me Daystar *shakes fist*

 

[anthony87]

You can count on the captcha to be eerily relevant to what you're about to say.

Seriously, when the Purple Clan begins its uprising to take over the world it'll start from the captchas of this site.

Guess the reference. I DARE YA!

 

[Teoes]

You used to be able to count on the Pokemon game returning frequently to surprise buttsex. No more..

You can count on most of the arguments taking place to be only tangentially related to the original topic.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Whenever someone uses the phrase "Am I the only one...?" you can guarantee someone will point out that no, you're never the only one etc. etc. failing to realize that the person in question just wants validation for their opinion.