I can predict the future. NO really I can. I think in my dream, Vergil was a guy that is secretly in love with Dante,and he wants to make out with him. So in order to confirm Dante is gay he sent a legion of sexy-shaped live sex toys to rape and suck this "Dante" off. Disgusted by huge amount of nice tits, he summons a DICKWAD! a legendairy swo..or spear...or prototype whip ripoff..or hammer i don't know? Dickwad is his mother's legacy. She used to battle giant rats when "Dante" was striving to become a silver haired, pun joke maker, kickass. But his mom died to AIDS, 'cus it is new and cool to die from AIDS. And so "Dante" said fck it! Imma wear English flag and get shit on my shitty outfit. Doubling the same amount of one stuff is more cool then having one thing only!So he ended up in this robotic infested, factory city that looks like the base of Nod army from C&C. Anyway. Opening sequence we see "Dante" whoring for some crack money,when his daily rounds get stopped by demonic doll girls screaming "Nevarrrr!" They tell him they want to suck his penis. Appalled by this information, even tho he is younger, he stabs himself with DICKWAD, and unleaches superawesome Degeneric Trigger that make his eyes red or yellow! So in order to defend his gayness he obliterates sex-craving demonesses.Vergil, a local pimp leader, is thrilled by this,'cus his dark plans got to reveal he, in fact, can has sex with "Dante"
So, in order to satisfy his BDSM side, Vergil unleashes hoards of sex-depraved toys, and watches "Dante" kill them all,while the latter one jacks off. He then reaches Virgil. Virgil lets "Dante" stab him in the chest and Virgil gets DT too. Then they kiss all over the place, animated saliva leaking everywhere,reach-arounds, and then they both reach CUlMination,and there is rainbow,and behind them unicorns and pink rabbits jump.Mission is over. End credits "Everybody dance now!"
Game will be praised by masses ~13y.o boys and girls that fap to twilight.Even more so the Ninja theory will make a sequel of this reboot,As Vergil takes his love a step further by minimizing himself, to enter "Dante's" intestines trough anus,so he can lick him all over <3
[the whole game will be homage to levels that took place inside some living thing, while still retaining the edge of modern pop culture and everything that is cool and should set example for new generations].
PS. I have savored all my sarcasm. It is unleashed.