U.S. Government Denies Existence of Mermaids

[Lazy Kitty]

Well, I thought they weren't real before, but now that they're denying it without being asked...
I'm starting to have my doubts...

 

[Canadamus Prime]

And they felt the need to state this why?

 

[Prince Regent]

I feel like quoting Yes Minister.

"The first rule of politics: never believe anything until it's been officially denied."

 

[FilipJPhry]

Kind of weird they just went up and said "Mermaids aren't real. That is all."

 

[Swyftstar]

I smell a cover up. We need Michael Moore to do a movie about this.

 

[FantomOmega]

What!?!?

No.... NO.... NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

A million The Little Mermaid fan's voices cried out and were silenced...

Next thing you know they'll tell us R'lyeh doesn't exist... The fools

 

[Flamezdudes]

NO.

It's a mass cover up by the mermaids who have seduced the US Government, using their very own personal pools conveniently connected to the oceans!

They are going to rule the US Government and soon the rest of the world in the dark watery shadows of the Presidents bathroom and soon they shall rise up their armies and flood the entire world with... with...

Spoiler: THEIR SOLDIERS - THE PENGUINS.

Soon the orangedrink man will rise up in rebellion with Cthulhu, Michael Jackson and Zeus as they all want a piece of the tasty mermaid tail and their mammary glands.

That is correct, rise up! Rise up! FIGHT THE MERMAIDS CONSPIRACY!

 

[Jandau]

I always assumed mermaids were just seals or sea lions as seen by some VERY lonely early sailors...

 

[dessertmonkeyjk]

But... what about the children? You monsters! Now parents will have to work extra hard teaching their kids about... stuff.

 

[theheroofaction]

... Nobody was thinking about them before this happened.

Which means either they felt like messing with people, or they were trying to cover up a secret genetic engineering experiment gone horribly wrong!!!

I'll guess the former

 

[BanZeus]

Well at least it's a step in the right direction. Maybe once they officially recognize the lack of evidence for fairies and unicorns they can grow some balls and admit gods probably don't exist either.

 

[BanZeus]

I always assumed mermaids were just seals or sea lions as seen by some VERY lonely early sailors...

Spoiler: Just look at those curves...

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: And the day is saved, thanks to Captain Obvious

Did they really need to tell us this? Are their really people out looking for MERMAIDS?

It almost sounds like they have something to hide... >_>

 

[Swyftstar]

I always assumed mermaids were just seals or sea lions as seen by some VERY lonely early sailors...

Spoiler: Just look at those curves...

How Rubenesque.
Or as Pepe would say. "So round, so firm, so fully packed"

 

[Scarim Coral]

Thanks I really needed to know that. I couldn't decide if a mermaid were real or not using my feeble mind until now!

 

[Torrasque]

So they'll deny the existence of Mermaids, but the CDC has a plan for Zombies.
http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/1078664648/fry_bigger.jpg

 

[The Great JT]

You know every time the US government denies something, a flaccid conspiracy theorist gets an erection?

 

[Zydrate]

Sorry, had to. Because, really.