Unnecessary Instructions

[lacktheknack]

Firelog: Caution! Flammable!

Up there with the most retarded muffin package with this on the side:
1: Remove wrapper. DO NOT THROW AWAY.
2: Remove paper from muffin. Discard.
3: Place muffin in mouth.
4: Eat.
5: Discard wrapper.

(You can't throw away the wrapper because there are instructions on it...)

I think that this muffin producer is trying to be friendly to the local space aliens who are trying to blend in.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Spoiler: Don't insert into penis.

I saw a guy do that once.... it 'effed up my childhood in a instant ;_;

SICK why would anybody ever do that? And why were you there to see that?

Urr i'm young and stupid ok ? ( 13 if youre asking )

But the long version is: in my community they were one day exchanging links in the AJAX chat... and I dont know why but if see a link I automaticlly click on it and if I dont I obsess about it for a while until I finally cave and google it.

So yeah what else is there to say ?

Ok. Yeah, I understand. I dont usually click on links, and when i do i have my "GET OUT IN .5 SECONDS" button (usually page down). Sucks to be you my friend.

 

[Minimike3636]

I think I've seen this on chemistry lab glassware:

"Caution: Hot when heated"

 

[SevenStarSonata]

I think I've seen this on chemistry lab glassware:

"Caution: Hot when heated"

Having seen otherwise incredibly smart people take a beaker of 10-Molar ammonia and take a good, deep inhale of the fumes, I can tell you that there is no such thing as too many warnings in the chem lab. Chemistry makes people stupid.

Also, in case you were wondering, Bunsen Burners get hot when lit, too. D: DO NOT TOUCH.

 

[Cortheya]

Peanuts can...Warning: Contains peanuts.

 

[wikicated]

Those of us who are ex-military can appreciate "This page was left blank intentionally."

Hairdryers that tell you "Do not operate while sleeping."

Dude, that's no joke. I did it once, and, well, check out my avatar. Just...just don't do it.

ive seen that page quite a read


one word: poptarts

Edit: ninja'd

 

[Rigs83]

I'll give you my favorite:
"To not put people in dryer"
and raise you a website:
http://www.joke-archives.com/toplists/warninglabelcontest.html

 

[smithy1234]

On the bottom of a Presidents Choice Chocolate Forest cake "DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN"

A little late for that isn't it?

 

[blaze96]

Shampoo bottle: Not an ice cream topping.

and "Questions? Comments." then a phone number on another shampoo bottle.

 

[Crazydriver]

Rather common one near me: "Roads slippery when wet". Also, the sad thing about most of the warnings on this thread is that someone must have either tried to do them or complained about the warnings not being there

 

[Yingyangathena]

On a golf course:
Any persons (except players) caught collecting golf balls on this course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed.

I think thats a common one...>_>
Arent there whole books dedicated to pointing out these signs?

 

[ultracheeser]

How to use a toothpick:

Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion.

Kind of like last night...hehe
But seriosly..microwave inistructions for pop tarts

Hahaha. Kudos to you, sir, for making the innuendo I sadly did not. Hehe, damnit, I needed that laugh.

Can't say I know of any useless instructions, but this image made me giggle. It's on a life jacket, the sort you find on boats:

aahhhhh penis humor

 

[SevenStarSonata]

aahhhhh penis humor

Never gets old. Ever.

 

[Deleted]

Image removed. -mod

 

[cowbell40]

I think in the instructions for an air-soft gun my brother got it told you to never fire the gun while your finger was down the barrel.

 

[Jedoro]

On a 5.56mm NATO round that we found in Germany while on field training (Might have been someones joke but we laughed for a good 2 hours) - This end kills. Basically, there was a small triangle (pointing at the bullet, and the text was next to the triangle).

Oh man, that reminds me of the SAW range in Basic. Drill sergeants and range instructors repeatedly told us the little "brass to the grass" on loading the belts, and one guy still got it completely wrong. Links were down, and the bullets were pointed backwards.

Good kid, just dumb as hell.

I'll give you my favorite:
"To not put people in dryer"
and raise you a website:
http://www.joke-archives.com/toplists/warninglabelcontest.html

Hey, being in a dryer is fun. You just gotta keep it on the "Cool Down" setting so you don't get cooked alive.

 

[skyfire_freckles]

On the package to a showercap: Fits one head.

I'm going to try to put it on more than one head at once?

 

[TankCopter]

On the bottom of a tiramisu box "Do not turn upside down."

 

[Vern]

This hasn't been posted yet? I'm surprised and disappointed.

 

[Swaki]

bug spray - matas bug spray use it on bugs, do not inhale, do not set on fire and do not use on birds.