Use whatever is in the room you're in right now to defend yourself.

[Spawny0908]

I have my kitana. And for backup I can throw my bird at the guy. She may be small but she's tough!

 

[Simriel]

being the two-handed devilish bastard sword)

Wut? Bastard Sword is a Hand and a Half weapon.

 

[AwesomeFerret]

My home made greatsword. Yeeeeaaaaah. I mean the cardboard could get damaged, but the giant wooden pole in the middle would still work.

 

[Treblaine]

Your home is now under attack by burglars. Use whatever is in the room with the device you are reading this on.

10 year old laptop..

THERE IS NO DENSER OBJECT IN THE UNIVERSE!

Or at least that's how heavy it felt having to lug it around the past 10 years, it if did only a fraction of the damage to their cranium that it did to my shoulders just carrying it then the police are going to need to arrest me, not them.

 

[Sojoez]

Best object? A bowling pin! Don't ask how I got it.

 

[Pontus Hashis]

Wakashi and dagger that feels like an ax... I think im fine =P

 

[TheDarklite]

Yeah... I would either throw my printer at them or stab them in the eye with a pen.

Not too many options indeed.

 

[Darby]

My Alienware M17X would knock a ***** out cold. It's SO heavy... And has sharp edges.

 

[Jjkaybomb]

I have a heavy clay plate and a few cups I could throw. They're not getting MY two computers!!! *toss!*

 

[LordDarkPhantom]

The edge of the broken mirror.

 

[nintendoeats]

40 dollar guitar, SMACK IN THE FACE!

 

[farmerboy219]

lol looks like i'm a dead man http://twitpic.com/4ofwth

 

[ShakyFiend]

\fl fuh; F;uiw;hf UHF;ui wFUHI; "GET BACK SWINE!" as;dan as;dhn asd "ewww" (wipes blood from keyboard)



EDIT: also: what the holy fuck?! you people have some serious weapons stashed away, are gamers so insecure they need a bloody armoury within arms reach at all times? Although if someone ever declares war on the escapist (4chan will eventually) based on this thread there should be enough Katana's for everyone to have one.

 

[Ixnay1111]

I have an authentic Katana on the shelf above my head... that might do

 

[Brutal Peanut]

Beware my...uh...*looks around*...SMALL SCISSORS OF DOOM YOU EVIL-DOERS!

 

[Daddy Go Bot]

I have this heavy dumbbell and a jar of applesauce.

 

[MikailCaboose]

Hmm... A bunch of pencils, books and a model rocket w/out an engine...
Hope they get distracted by the books!

 

[Anjel]

I have this heavy dumbbell and a jar of applesauce.

...and meet me at the saloon! Come ooooon Saucey!

Sorry, just sounded like you've been taking life lessons from Kenan and Kel

 

[darthotaku]

Taste the sting of my World Atlus vile fiends!

 

[yeah_so_no]

I am a classically trained soprano and have no problems blasting a high C to deafen someone (go ahead, ask me how I solved the obscene phone caller problem that my dorm had way back when I was in college). I also have a large purse with a 500-page hardcover book, two textbooks, a wallet, and an electronic dictionary in it, and easy-to-grip handles.

It's concussin' time!

(And then I call the police, and laugh and laugh and laugh at the idiot breaking into an apartment that is a two minute walk, if that much, away from the city police precinct.)