Useless Superpowers - Whats yours?

[pedobearlongcatlazor]

the ability to turn invisible but only if i play the trombone really loudly

 

[Ibanez887]

The ability to spawn ANYTHING I want, but it couldnt help me in the situation Im in

 

[Evil the White]

I can hear people saying my name from the other side of the room, no matter how noisy said room is.

 

[benjtfell]

I can scratch myself behind the ear with my foot. Kinda like a dog. Go figure.

I think he said usless super-powers

 

[JustOneMoreHero]

I have the ability to see through thick air.
Also the ability to NOT call my doctor after an erection lasting longer than 4 hours.

 

[Jason Danger Keyes]

I'd have the ability to breathe water, but only when flying

 

[benjtfell]

I can fly but only while doing very smelly farts

 

[maninahat]

Being invisible, but only whilst playing a trombone.

EDIT: oh, that joke has been done at lest 20 times already.

 

[qwertyzxy27]

i have the ability to shrink my penis by two inches..

 

[int boom]

I would see random, unexplainable Youtube videos in my dreams about a year before they are uploaded.

 

[Dragon-Byte]

turn cantelopes into BAAACCCCCOOOONNNN!!!!!!


wait a sec, that IS USEFULL!!!
...shit

 

[Suicidal Rodent]

I'd sweat rainbows.

 

[Blueruler182]

The ability to make birds suddenly appear whenever some asshole is near. Seriously, it just gets irritating, they don't listen to me, they just fly and shit everywhere. Everywhere!

 

[Supernova2000]

The ability to shoot lasers from my hands but it only works when I aim through my own head.

 

[stutheninja]

my ability is to be able to conjour up evil spirts who terrorize people but only i can see them and only i am effected

 

[evilengine]

Able to see through trousers, but only from below the knees
Able to fly, but your body is completely paralysed
Can see in the dark, but only between 9am and 3pm
Having saliva with the same properties as cement
Legs for arms and arms for legs
Can run at 100mph, but for only 6ft a day
Can tell the time without a watch, but it takes an hour to do it

 

[himemiya1650]

The ability to remain apathetic towards other people.

 

[Terminate421]

I can eat only what can fit in my mouth

 

[Supernova2000]

The ability to play darts entirely by sneezing but my hay fever has subsided.