We Are Our Avatars X (Closed, Ended)

[Slenn]

EMily's expression grew a little warmer, but wasn't entirely content. After a moment of thought she responded,
"Understandable. The mental abilities that I have are found more commonly where I'm from. There they are treated more openly. But I shouldn't expect the same here. There's no way you could have expected my mental abilities. And there was no way for me to predetermine your reaction without touching the mind. I apologized because of the damage I felt from you afterwards."

She sighed.
"In any case. It's late, and we have no way of obtaining lodging for the night."

 

[Silence]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:16

"So I should not wash it off?" Anik said, not really knowing how this would work.

"I don't know if I deserve a second chance, it's ... I don't know." she said after Timeas comments, wondering how she could even try to resist. "It's like ... I get really calm, like I would meditate, and wait for the exact right moment for the kill to happen. Everything is focused. Every other sound, and every other heart, feels like it is distant, and it will only appear when it endangers me. I have power, I have all every control over the situation I could wish for. It feels so right, the perfect moment ... but I know it's wrong." she explained the urge before, but not the satisfaction of the kill itself.

 

[Gearhead mk2]

"Perhaps we can make camp outside the city." Robin suggested.

 

[username sucks]

[color=FF0080]"I chose to be Luminara, even though I knew exactly how dangerous she is, but I just couldn't take any more, I needed..."[/color] Madeline said frantically, all the previous visual effects going on at once.

 

[Chungus]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:17​

Listening to Anik's explanation, Timea felt disgusted, although this didn't come through in her tone. For a moment, she wondered if Anik could feel Timea's feelings towards her, and tried to suppress these feelings. This didn't work, and only lead to her wondering if Anik could sense Timea suppressing something she didn't want to sense, and went to a loop from there.

A little time, and some effort later, Timea refocused her thoughts again. "Think of this second chance as your punishment. You'll have to live with what you did, for the rest of your life.

Now... How self-sufficiently have you lived, up until now? Meaning, how much help did you get with everything?" she questioned, having a theory, but wanted to check in to things, first.

After asking this, Timea said; "Oh. You should wash of the blood you have on you, now, yes. Just leave the crusts."

 

[Silence]

"This is ... nevermind." Anik said, stopping herself from saying something she might regret, like that she already had to live with a lot more. Wondering why Timea switched subjects to this, she answered: "You mean, before I walked through the portal? Well, I did get all the help I needed ... at the end. At other times, I just more or less stumbled through the world, figuring out how I could do things my way. Sometimes, I had no help at all ... aside from pity, I guess."

For now, she made no attempts to actually get up, and wash her face.

 

[Chungus]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:17​

Timea listened carefully to Anik's answer, going over what was being said. "And when you managed to figure something out on your own, how did it make you feel?" she asked. "I think you might latch on to this sense of control you get with the... anticipation, and act of taking a life, because you have so little, elsewhere."

 

[Silence]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:17

"Well, depends on the thing I did. Sometimes it was just a relief, that I could do something everyone else could do as well, ... sometimes it gave me satisfaction. ... Maybe you are right about this. But then, there were times where I had everything, and it was the same. Still, control ... yes, I like to be in control. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless, reliant on others." Anik said, still motionless but for her mouth.

 

[Chungus]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:18​

At Anik's answer, Timea let out a "hmm", but unlike previous times, where it was dismissive, this sounded like she was agreeing with Anik. "I suppose we'll have to see if there is any change in you, as we work to get you to be more self-sufficient. Until we can deal with the underlying isue, we can work on dealing with the "symptons", as it were", she commented, then paused, shifting her weight.

"I want you to imagine the families of this person you killed, the friends. I imagine the dread, as they wait for their loved one to come home, the hopeful denial as this doesn't happen. Imagine the faint hope turning to grief as it's realised their loved one is gone, and is not coming back. Imagine the struggles these people go through, never having been able to say goodbye, the parents out-living their child.

Take this pain, and bear it closely. And remember it, every time your hand reaches for your weapon." Speaking, Timea talked slowly, almost struggling.

 

[Silence]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:18

Anik thought silently for a long time, after listening to Timeas words. Finally, she straightened a little, and said: "But how can I even kill an animal, if I always think about this?

And ... this thought angers me. It creates an urge to destroy. This should not happen. I know it should not. Why does it? It creates pain, but it should only do that, not anger as well."

 

[Chungus]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:20​

"By acknowledging what taking a life does, and treating it with the respect it deserves. When you kill so that you may live, waste nothing", Timea was quick to answer Anik's first question, but needed to thinking about her second. She sat in silence for a moment, tapping a finger on her knee. "Hmm... . ... Maybe you're running away. The weight of consequence is so heavy, you want it gone, so you don't have to bear it any more.

Am I correct?"

 

[Silence]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:20

"I wonder if I am able to do it properly ..." Anik said. "I ... no. I want to destroy what these people have. I want the consequence. I mean ... I don't want it. I should not want it. I should want to create something for myself, not wanting to destroy the happiness of others. I ... it's all wrong!" she added her confused thoughts, then started to sob again.

 

[Chungus]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:21​

"So you're jealous of what others have?" Timea said, half questioningly. "Can you imagine yourself having these things? People to love?"

 

[Silence]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:21

"I ... I ... don't know. I want to have. I ... how does it feel?" Anik sobbed. "Yes, it's envy."

 

[Drakmorg]

Cybil was still unconscious.

 

[Chungus]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:21​

"Scary?" Timea said with something of a weak chuckle, first having the idea to elaborate, but quickly deciding against it. "I couldn't tell you how most of this feels, I didn't have most of it." Timea didn't mention she had one type of relationship, but didn't comment on it, partially because she felt staying on neutral grounds would suit the healing process the best, but largely because she now resented Anik, and wouldn't entrust any of her feelings to her.

"I suggest you talk to Hillary more, just try to have normal chit-chat.", she instead suggested. "You already get along, go nurture that bond. Experience what it's like to have a friend."

 

[Godzillarich(aka tf2godz)]

Beak notched Cybil body"Cybil...Cybil..Cybil?" Beak said as he kept calling as her name he started to tear up.

Doctor picked up her body up "She needs to get her some place warm!" Doctor yelled out to the others.

 

[Gearhead mk2]

Robin went over to Cybil as the others called, checking her.

 

[Silence]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:21

"... I guess." Anik said. "I still don't know how I could ... maybe it's possible this way. Maybe I can hesitate, when it is needed. I'll just think of horrible things that could happen with Hi ..." she trailed off, now scaring herself.
After a minute of just rocking back and forth, Anik steadied herself again. "I hope you are there, next time something like yesterday happens, Timea. To prevent me from being stupid again. I don't think I can trust myself, yet."

Emotionally drained, her face a red mess, Anik slowly stood up. There, she stood, wondering where the next big water source was, where she could wash her face.

 

[Chungus]

Utarra Area - Day 5 - 07:23​

Noting Anik being horror struck on considering something bad happening to Hillary, Timea kept quiet, letting her go through the process Timea hoped she would. "I'll try my best", Timea was quick to respond after Anik spoke again. She had already elected to let Anik out of her sight for as little time as possible, dreading the prospect of being around someone so much though she did.

Seeing Anik look around, Timea commented, "If you're looking for water, why not use that ring? You've got it already, may as well get use out of it, for now". As she said this, Timea moved to the leftover meat she had buried, and began digging it up.