What are the best comebacks you've ever said/heard?
- Thread starter Undedd Jester
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I did have 2 friends in school who ahted each other and would always try and one up one another. Their names were Gary and George, so one day Gary walks into the form room, goes up to George and sings
"George... has only got one ball!" And George barely a second later replies
"Gary... has got no balls at all!"
Hard to represent the song in text, but it was so insanely welltimed it was like it was rehearsed xD
"George... has only got one ball!" And George barely a second later replies
"Gary... has got no balls at all!"
Hard to represent the song in text, but it was so insanely welltimed it was like it was rehearsed xD
The best comeback I ever thought up was when a little chav at work called me gay, to which i replied "That may be so, but at least I am capable of constructing coherent sentences containing polysyllabic words to belittle without being homophobic"
doesn't roll off the tongue I admit but the confused look it got was worth it.
Best I've ever heard of was an exchange between an airline stewardess and Muhammad Ali
Stewardess: Sir can you please put your seatbelt on
Ali: Superman don't need no seatbelt!
Stewardess: Superman don't need no airplane!
doesn't roll off the tongue I admit but the confused look it got was worth it.
Best I've ever heard of was an exchange between an airline stewardess and Muhammad Ali
Stewardess: Sir can you please put your seatbelt on
Ali: Superman don't need no seatbelt!
Stewardess: Superman don't need no airplane!
"Jeez dude your getting a little fat"
"Thats cause everytime I fuck your mum she gives me a biscuit"
"Thats cause everytime I fuck your mum she gives me a biscuit"
I'll just wake up in the middle of the night with the best comeback, but realize the conversation ended weeks ago.scnj said:
As for actual comebacks
Friend: Have you heard of this band called Gay?
Me: I didn't know Fallout Boy changed there name
for the lameness alone
I'm not a chicken,your a Turkey
I was impersonating some kid who thinks he's a GANGSTA' and he overheard me and this is pretty much how it went:
him: So you think you're gansta' now huh?
me: No, I think all 'gangstas' are air-headed morons, have fun working at McDonalds the rest of your life.
him: *walks away*
Man that felt good. I must say though I regretted it the second I said it because he was much taller than me and I'm built like Kermit the Frog, thank god for idiots.
him: So you think you're gansta' now huh?
me: No, I think all 'gangstas' are air-headed morons, have fun working at McDonalds the rest of your life.
him: *walks away*
Man that felt good. I must say though I regretted it the second I said it because he was much taller than me and I'm built like Kermit the Frog, thank god for idiots.
The first line in this video. (Movie is The Departed for the uninformed)
"Go fuck yourself"
"I'm tired from fucking your wife."
"How is your mother?"
"Good, she's tired from fucking my father."
"Go fuck yourself"
"I'm tired from fucking your wife."
"How is your mother?"
"Good, she's tired from fucking my father."
I know what you are, but what am I?
Sure to insult any distinguished namecaller with its badness.
Sure to insult any distinguished namecaller with its badness.
This one girl who's sole purpose in life was apparently to be a ***** to me was busy doing just that, when I interrupted her with "Excuse me, but why do you wake up in the morning? It's pretty clear that nobody wants to see you." She basically stopped talking to me after that, probably because the whole class was laughing at her.
There was another one where I was talking to my friend and out of nowhere he just yells at me "You shut your whore mouth when Billy Mays is talking!". There was a commercial for some product featuring Billy Mays on TV. It came out of nowhere and I couldn't help but laugh at it.
There was another one where I was talking to my friend and out of nowhere he just yells at me "You shut your whore mouth when Billy Mays is talking!". There was a commercial for some product featuring Billy Mays on TV. It came out of nowhere and I couldn't help but laugh at it.
One of my friends responding to being called a pussy- "If you are what you eat, then yes I am a pussy"
My friends and I were sitting at our lunch table a year back (this is in school). A group of kids a few tables away start throwing their change at us and insulting the way we were dressed (and to this day I'm not sure how old you have to be to mature above these childish things, but this group of kids and there 50Cent G-Unit shirts aren't quite there yet. They appeared to be the type of kids that don't really take their education, or anything for that matter, quite seriously, but I'm not one to judge). Also, I really liked the plaid shirt I was wearing, but I digress. So they start throwing quarters and nickels at us, but we don't retaliate because we aren't violent people.
Anyway, as we were leaving the lunch room, I flipped a quarter at their table (not in anger, I flipped it calmly and with no intent on any physical pain) and said something along the lines of this, "You really should save these; I heard McDonald's is going to stop hiring."
Also, one of my friends said, "At least we have futures."
Both of those lines I thought were pretty funny and smooth in the heat of the moment.
Anyway, as we were leaving the lunch room, I flipped a quarter at their table (not in anger, I flipped it calmly and with no intent on any physical pain) and said something along the lines of this, "You really should save these; I heard McDonald's is going to stop hiring."
Also, one of my friends said, "At least we have futures."
Both of those lines I thought were pretty funny and smooth in the heat of the moment.