What are the best comebacks you've ever said/heard?

[Overlord_Dave]

If you want my comeback, it's in yo momma!

Bet that took all of twelve seconds to do.

Wow. You've found the comeback to the ultimate comeback.

You sir are but a God. Kudos.

 

[ffxfriek]

getting into a heated discussion about global warming

guy: your gay just shut up
me: stop breathing your releasing carbon dioxide into the air you sick excuse for a human.

he had nada to say after that.

 

[nYuknYuknYuk]

Whenever somebody says they "did my mom last night, hur hur hur", I just point out the facts.

She's 50, has saggy boobs, and you did her? That's fucking sick.

Damnit.. Ninja'd.

 

[Aqualung]

Kid on Xbox Live: ******, shut the hell up.
Me: Fuck off, douchenozzle.
Kid: Your so gay.
Me: If I was gay, I wouldn't have ripped your mom's vagina in half last night.

Everything got quiet after I said that

Bahaha. Awesome. Put those little snots in their place!

 

[Gauntes]

You're so ugly, not even deckard cain can identify you

 

[Jark212]

If "That's what she said" is applied at the proper time...

 

[HarmanSmith]

TF2 video meet the spy.
Scout: "What, are you the president of his fan club, or something?"
Spy: "No, that would be your mother"
Fell out of my chair on that

 

[Psychopomp]

Co-Worker: "Hey that guy lauren's cashing out looks like a caveman from the Geico commercials."

Me: "Well Lauren could be in those commercials too... 'Lauren...So easy a caveman could do her'

 

[Mozared]

In pretty much any online game:
"OMG! u r such a noob!!!!"
"That's right."

Always shuts them up, they just don't know what to reply to that.

 

[MalakaiDemonia]

A guy in the middle of math class said something about my mom and I said "You're mother's lust for me is insatiable." He shut up and the whole class got quiet and laughed at him, even the teacher, lol.

 

[lenin_117]

You're so ugly, not even deckard cain can identify you

That just... no.. ju- just stop. Thats just asking for a shitstorm from ppl who realise what you're referencing. (BTW, D2 is an awesome game, but that is beside the point)

 

[Puzzles]

- snip -

I think I like you.

 

[DoW Lowen]

- snip -

I think I like you.

Oh no, there goes my ego *explodes*

 

[seeyounexttuesday]

My favourite comeback of all time came up in an, i say "argument" for lack of a better term, with a mate, and it was simply "if i wanted a comeback, i'd wipe it off your mum's chin!"

 

[Labyrinth]

<arkan> You know, you really ought to have a bra with 403: forbidden on it.
And you really ought to have a pair of boxers with 404: not found.

About.. two years ago I believe. Chatroom on another site. He was annoying me rather a lot. I've used a similar line many times since because it's so wonderfully nerdy and insulting.

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

"Hey mate, how old are you? You can't be more than 12, sounds like your balls need to drop"
"What, you mean right into your mums mouth?"