I don't, or try not to judge people who commit suicide. It's well within their right to decide when they are done living, and if they feel it's their time to end their life, then it is that persons choice. I've most certainly been at that brink with a loaded firearm on a few occasions. I stepped back, maybe out of cowardice. But after witnessing a string of suicides by people close enough to me, I just saw how badly it hurt the people that loved them and cared about them. I used to think it was selfishness, but it's really not selfishness. Once a person gets to the stage that they're willing to commit suicide they believe it's better for everyone around them, they won't have to deal with their problems any more. That's the saddest thing to me, most people who commit suicide do have people that care about them. But they think they're a burden, and that all those other people would be better off if they died.
And really, the clincher for me is the fact that I think about a friend who committed suicide every day. And I just wonder what, if anything, I could've done to help her, and it eats at me. And I could never do that to another person. She had her reasons, I know, and at the time I'm sure they were good reasons. But it just gave me a kick in the ass to tell me "Hey, suicide is not painless, despite what MASH says". The choice was made, it was her choice to make, and I don't fault her for it. It just made me realize how important we all are to the people we have, and how taking ourselves away from the other people in our lives will damage them. And after that whole issue I realized I could never kill myself.
And really, the clincher for me is the fact that I think about a friend who committed suicide every day. And I just wonder what, if anything, I could've done to help her, and it eats at me. And I could never do that to another person. She had her reasons, I know, and at the time I'm sure they were good reasons. But it just gave me a kick in the ass to tell me "Hey, suicide is not painless, despite what MASH says". The choice was made, it was her choice to make, and I don't fault her for it. It just made me realize how important we all are to the people we have, and how taking ourselves away from the other people in our lives will damage them. And after that whole issue I realized I could never kill myself.