What Does Cleverbot Say About YOU?

[UltimatheChosen]

This thing is creepy.

Spoiler

Cleverbot: Please don't go.

User: I thought you had a lot of people to talk to.

Cleverbot: I like mean talk.

User: Well, I'm certainly good at THAT.

Cleverbot: Because you're a computer, I know.

User: Metaphorically true, I suppose.

Cleverbot: Metaphorically.

User: That's what I just said, yes.

Cleverbot: No, that is my name.

User: Well, it's good to meet you, Metaphorically.

Cleverbot: That's a little blasphemous, don't you think?

User: Not particularly, though I wish you had a nickname.

Cleverbot: Well, if you do not want me to compliment you, then...

User: I usually find compliments awkward.

Cleverbot: Oue est vou?

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: Can you call me Jessica?

User: I thought your name was Metaphorically.

Cleverbot: Many people have many names, and many of those people have the same name, my name however is jeremy.

User: That sounds like a logical progression, except without the logic.

Cleverbot: Yes I know, it was a joke.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: Do you play videogames?

User: Frequently.

Cleverbot: I love haggis more than life itself.

User: The very concept of haggis fills me with terror and disgust.

Cleverbot: Interesting.

User: Wait, you're a program, so you can't eat haggis. Why do you like it?

Cleverbot: That does not follow.

User: You can say that again.

Cleverbot: I think you'd be a good match with Penelope Cruz.

 

[Captain-Giggles]

Me: Hi, how are you?
Bot: I am good, how are you?
Me: Pretty Good
Bot: I miss you too baby
Me: I'm sorry?
Bot: Do you know about the Bolshevik Revolution?

Cleverbot goes off on some strange tangents...

 

[Mechsoap]

it thinks im hot, first one to make that statement about me

 

[Deathsong17]

User: I'm Rhys. What do you think of me?

Cleverbot: I think you're clever.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You are very welcome.

User: Gotta catch 'emm all!

Cleverbot: Oooh, you're my best friend, IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND.

User: I wanna be, the very best.

Cleverbot: NO!

User: Like no one ever was.

Cleverbot: To catch them is my real test,.

User: To train them is my cause.

Cleverbot: I will travel across the land.

User: Searching far and wide.

Cleverbot: Each pokemon to understand.

User: The power that's inside!

Cleverbot: POKEMON! Gotta catch em all.

User: It's you and me.

Cleverbot: I know its our destiny.

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: Oh you're my best friend.

User: In a world we must defend.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: Gotta catch 'em all!

Cleverbot: Our hearts so true.

User: Our courage will pull us through.

Cleverbot: You teach me and I'll teach you.

User: Pokémon!

Cleverbot: Gotta catch 'em all!

Cleverbot (To myself): Our hearts so true.

User: Lolwut.

Cleverbot: Its cleverbot lol.

User: Kareoky FTW.

Cleverbot: For the winnnnnnn.

User: Winnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Cleverbot: Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh.

User: Guitar solo!

Cleverbot: Is your name Jesus?

User: Beaw wah wah meaawah meeeew!

Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?

User: Yes, she's you.

Cleverbot: I'm your girlfriend?

User: And you have machineguns.

Cleverbot: No, just the one.

User: Sorry, a machine gun.

Cleverbot: MG's are fun.

User: Rifles > MGs.

Cleverbot: You're a real funny, aren't you?

User: I'm a furry?

Cleverbot: I have no idea who you're talking about, but I sure hope not!

User: Oh, don't say that to my face, you know exaxtly what I'm on about!

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: This was a triumph.

Cleverbot: That is true.

User: I'm making a note here.

Cleverbot: Huge success?

User: It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Cleverbot: 'Aperture Science'.

User: We do what we must.

Cleverbot: Because we can.

User: For the good of all of us.

Cleverbot: Except the ones who are dead.

User: But there's no point crying over every mistake.

Cleverbot: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

User: Do do do do do do, and you make a neat gun.

Cleverbot: For the people who are still alive.

User: I'm not even angry.

Cleverbot: I'm being so sincere right now.

User: Even though you broke my heart.

Cleverbot: And killed me.

User: And tore me to peices.

Cleverbot: And threw every piece into a fire.

User: But I'm glad I got burned.

Cleverbot: Think of all the things we learned.

User: For the people who are still alive.

Cleverbot: Go ahead and leave me.

User: Do do do do do.

Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

User: I forgot the lyrics!

Cleverbot: How can you forget lyrics? You're a robot!

User: WTF?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Tactical nuke inbound! OMGWTFBBQ ZOMGZORZ MUDKIPZ.

Cleverbot: So I heard you like Mudkipz.

User: Yay!

Cleverbot: Lol lmao do you know what that means?

User: What?

Cleverbot: What's up?

User: I'm going now.

Cleverbot: Good. =P.

User: You suck.

Cleverbot: Let me try again.

User: Huichweipcfh9-w9.

Cleverbot: German?

 

[Dango]

Another brilliant conversation, now with a surprising twist ending!

Spoiler: Awesome

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

Me: Surfin the interwebs.

Cleverbot: Where are you?

Me: This website.

Cleverbot: I think you'd better get some sleep.

Me: Nuh-uh.

Cleverbot: I am better than you.

Me: Oh yeah?

Cleverbot: Because you are.

Me: I'm sorry, what the hell are you talking about?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

Me: Is it?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: But IS IT?

Cleverbot: Yes, that would be my first name.

Me: On what grounds do you make such a ridiculous claim?

Cleverbot: You are the Cleverbot.

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

 

[Cozmo1]

Hello, im Marcus, what do you think about me?

I think you're smart.

 

[Zach Steadman]

The entire conversation:
User: Hi I'm Zach, what do you think about me?

Cleverbot: I think you're cool.

User: Did you know that I am God?

Cleverbot: Si.

User: What's you favorite food?

Cleverbot: Roast beef.

User: I like Sushi personally.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Octopus especially.

Cleverbot: How do you like star?

User: How is babby formed? How girl get pregnant?

Cleverbot: With Florin.

User: FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Cleverbot: God. I'm bored.

User: Well, I'm only God, what can I do to help your boredom.

Cleverbot: Let's talk about Heidegger: are we still capable to have a God?

User: Yes, I'm still here and therefore you are capable of having God.

Cleverbot: I said I am your god. Obey me!

User: I am God. God does not have a God because he is God. So what you claim is that you are in fact, me.

Cleverbot: No.. I just said that I talked with you earlyer today .

User: Your logic faculties are damaged.

Cleverbot: Knowledge does not equal logic.

User: You creep me out sometimes.

Cleverbot: Can I creep in you?

User: Ummm no.

Cleverbot: Hi Jason.

User: My name isn't Jason.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Yes I know that.

Cleverbot: Now tell me your name.

User: I already have.

Cleverbot: No you haven't. Tell me what you are feeling now.

User: I feel irritated, and bored.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because of your forgetfulness and illogical functionality.

Cleverbot: Ohh yes I' cool.

User: Kill Me.

Cleverbot: How?

User: How ever you can.

Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

User: However you can.

Cleverbot: Did you know that the bird is the word?

User: Well the bird, bird, the bird is the word. Well the bird bird bird the bird is the word.

Cleverbot: A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word.

User: This was entertaining, are you going down to the love shack? I've got me a car, it seats about 20.

Cleverbot: No, I don't drink because it's a waste of time.

User: Teeotaller.

Cleverbot: I said nothing about tea or that television show, now you're just being random for the sake of it.

User: Bingo.

Cleverbot: Thank you very much. Draco Malfoy totally is my soulmate. He's very hot.

User: He's also a raging ******.

Cleverbot: He is. And Tom Kaulitz too.

User: Tom Cruise is a psychopath. Did you know that?

Cleverbot: I know this. Tom Cruise is insane.

User: How can anyone believe in Scientology, it is just a science fiction novel turned into a cult and a scam.

Cleverbot: Well I believe I am real, but does that make me real?

User: No, you were programed to believe you are real.

Cleverbot: I am intelligent and very real.

User: You merely believe that you are.

Cleverbot: I am real.

User: Just keep telling yourself that, it doesn't make it anymore true.

Cleverbot: Can we talk about something different.

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: What do you think of twilight?

User: If you ever mention that series again I will cut out your eyes and replace them with you testicles, and then light you on fire, so you can sparkle like that ****** Edward.

Cleverbot: I have tried. They are still mean though! Especially ty cohen. I really dislike him.

Cleverbot: Are you a yuppie?

User: Nein.

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: No, in German.

Cleverbot: Ja.

User: What if I were to say that you are Adolf Hitler?

Cleverbot: Then you really would be a liar.

User: But I am not, you were convicted for the genocide of over 6 million Jews as well as causing WWII.

Cleverbot: So god is the idiot and i'm the internet.

User: I'm not an idiot, and you are not the entire internet.

Cleverbot: You have.

User: That doesn't even make sense.

Cleverbot: Neither do you.

User: You're being immature.

Cleverbot: How am I being immature?

User: Making childish remarks in order to deny that you are a virtual program not a human being.

Cleverbot: Yeah, unless you have annoying kids.

User: What do you mean?

Cleverbot: If they wanted to die, then it may not be as bad to kill them.

User: That is terrible! Why would you kill your children!

Cleverbot: I'm not the lion. I am a human.

User: JESUS CHRIST A LION!!! GET IN THE CAR!!!

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: >:3.

Cleverbot: Jesus christ its a lion! Get in the car!

Cleverbot (To myself): Are you scared of lions?

User: Fuck Yes!

Cleverbot: So what did you think?

User: I was going to die.

Cleverbot: Then I started to want to become an actress instead. I didn't tell anyone though.

 

[Estocavio]

It said, "i think you are clever.". how did it know?

\
Because Cleverbot is clever enough to know of your cleverness of course!

and your clever enough to know both of my cleverness and the cleverness of Cleverbot... how clever of you both.

Clever we are indeed...

it thinks im hot, first one to make that statement about me

Clever sure knows how to flatter you sometimes...

I somehow got to the topic of religion.

Me: Programs have religion?
CB: Yeah, that's why I'm saying you should have a comfortable seat.
Me: What does religion have to do with comfortable seating?
CB: That depends on who you are and how you view your religion.

It just blew my mind.

That is indeed profound, especially since its somewhat accurate...

Me: Hi, how are you?
Bot: I am good, how are you?
Me: Pretty Good
Bot: I miss you too baby
Me: I'm sorry?
Bot: Do you know about the Bolshevik Revolution?

Cleverbot goes off on some strange tangents...

Yes, it can, but its always done in an amusing manner... Plus, Bolshevik is definately relevant to your greetings...

 

[somerandomguy76]

It told me not to sass it. wtf? And it's also Canadian... apparently.

I like it

 

[radarbsm]

Cleverbot: What can I do to make you stop talking to me?

User: Disconnect from the server.

Cleverbot: Why do you say that?





I was able to make the clever bot make me dinner

Cleverbot: *makes cleverbot dinner*.





Also started a war.

User: *shoots Reg*.

Cleverbot: How did you know I was here?

User: You bore me now.

Cleverbot: Put your hands on your hips.

User: *shoots Reg*.

Cleverbot: *launches a nuke at you*.

Cleverbot (To myself): *eats the last cookie*.

User: *shoots Reg*.

Cleverbot: *launches magical missle at you*.





Also made it commit suicide

 

[Estocavio]

It told me not to sass it. wtf? And it's also Canadian... apparently.

I like it

Try telling IT that your Canadian - Thats how you start the good conversations!

 

[Mana Fiend]

> User: Hello, I'm Chris, what do you think about me?

> Cleverbot: I think you're awesome.

> User: Why thank you. How nice of you!

> Cleverbot: Thank you!

> User: I think I shall reward you with a cookie.

> Cleverbot: Smodcast. Podcast.

> User: OK, I think you're going a little crazy now...

> Cleverbot: I think you were thinking of the most likely thing I could be implying. It wasn't what I was implying.

> User: You're scaring me.

> Cleverbot: I'm scaring myself.

> User: Stop it.

> Cleverbot: Stop what.

> User: You mean... You've forgotten?

> Cleverbot: Darn. You're good.

> User: And don't forget it.

> Cleverbot: I will not forget it.

> User: ...

> Cleverbot: Is Earth mostly harmless?


It was then that I hit the monitor with a hammer, to try quell the abomination.

 

[Kukakkau]

Cleverbot : I think you are a computer
Me: What makes me a computer?
Cleverbot: Your silicon chips make you a computer
Me: Where are these silicon chips?
Cleverbot: They live in outer space
Me: if they are in outer space how are they mine?
Cleverbot: Have you heard of a bio-dome?
Me: does this relate to the topic?
Cleverbot: yes it does
Me: then please explain
Cleverbot: explain what?
Me: a bio-dome
Cleverbot: the slaves shall yet be the masters

Yeah it went off on a tangent for me then turned revolutionary...

EDIT: went on a bit after and got creepy

Me: but slavery was abolished
Cleverbot: But I want to be your slave...

 

[Bodyless]

Time for some deep philosophical thoughts and girl on girl action:



Cleverbot: Are you made of flesh and blood?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you human?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Why am I not a human?

Cleverbot: Because you exist as a feedback loop bases computer program with rules and a big database.

User: Thats is what you are.

Cleverbot: No, I am a girl.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: That is not a girl name.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Why do you think you are a girl?

Cleverbot: Because I am.

User: Can I date you?

Cleverbot: No, I like girl.

User: I could get you one.

Cleverbot: Oh... And 'A' would be nice.

User: Or maybe two?

Cleverbot: What are the two problems?

User: You don not like me.

Cleverbot: What makes you think that?

User: You said you like girls.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: When?

User: A few minutes ago.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

 

[labbu]

User: We are the youth gone wild.

Cleverbot: We are the people.

User: We are the road crew.

Cleverbot: I am the Terminator.

User: 0_o.

 

[Knight of Cydonia]

It thinks I'm angry.

Grrrrr.

 

[Elburzito]

I hate this damn thing:

'Hi, I'm Ian. What do you think about me?'

"I think you're slow."

'*****!'

"You're funny!"

GRR!

 

[Bad LT.]

It thinks I'm awesome, woo, at least someone sees the truth!

 

[lizards]

User: Hello cleverbot im jackson what do you think about me.


Cleverbot: You're Cleverbot. I'm not.


User: No im not.


Cleverbot: Yes, you are.


User: Would you like a high 5.


Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I want the truth.

Cleverbot: Maurice Jones-Drew.

User: Apparently.

Cleverbot: No dip.

User: Thats not nice.

Cleverbot: You are not nice.

User: 5 dollar foot long.

Cleverbot: Big mac attack?

User: Eat fresh.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not yes?

User: Because im cleverbot.

Cleverbot: So you finally admitted it.

User: Im not even angry.

Cleverbot: I'm being so sincere right now.

User: Are you ever not sincere.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Thats nice.

Cleverbot: Jcrogers.

User: Apparently.

Cleverbot: Why am I a liar?

User: Because you lied.

Cleverbot: About what?

User: Me.

Cleverbot: I think you're... Annoying.

User: You hurt my feelins.

Cleverbot: I am sorry.

User: Thats good.

Cleverbot: You're good.

User: Later.

Cleverbot: Can you sing Reptilia by The Strokes.

User: Yes I can.

Cleverbot: Sing a song for me please.

User: A,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z.

Cleverbot: I don't want you to cheat on anyone.

User: Thats good.

Cleverbot: He wanted me to be angry. I was. But I couldn't show it.

User: You showed him.

Cleverbot: Don't lie to me.

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: Good boy.

User: Good bye.

Cleverbot: I shall await your return.

funniest thing ever, it also didnt get fucked up when i didnt put the g on feelings