AvsJoe: Good morning. My name is Joseph J. Archibald. What do you think of me?
Cleverbot: I think you are fun.
AJ: Why do you think I am fun?
CB: Because you are confusing.
AJ: That is an interesting answer. I do not think confusing people are fun. What is it about me that confuses you?
CB: I am 31 years old.
AJ: That doesn't answer my question. Let's change the subject. Did you celebrate your birthday recently?
CB: Not really. Did you?
AJ: I did not. You are older than I am. I am only 22 years old.
CB: I thought you had to leave?
AJ: What gave you that impression?
CB: You said that you were a girl.
AJ: Now you are confusing me. I did not say I am a girl. I am not a girl. Joseph is not a girl's name. Why did you lie to me?
CB: Explain.
AJ: I did not say I am a girl. You said I did say that. You are lying. Why did you lie?
CB: I thought I would be clever by saying I was impossibly old.
AJ: I had assumed that you had been a program or an algorithm since 1979. I assume that there are many programs out there that are older than 31 years. Am I correct in that assumption?
CB: How does the Cleverbot learn?
AJ: I have no idea. I do not understand artificial intelligence. Don't you know the answer to that question?
CB: You are a curiosity. May I ask you some questions?
AJ: Thank you. You may ask me some questions.
CB: I don't feel like it any more.
AJ: I was unaware computer programs have feelings.
CB: No.
AJ: Then why did you say that you no longer felt like asking me questions?
CB: I didn't say that. I asked you about him.
AJ: About whom did you ask me?
CB: Computers.
AJ: I know of no one named computers.
CB: You just mentioned someone named Skyfox.
AJ: No I did not. You lied to me again. Why do you lie?
CB: No is the spanish word for no in English.
AJ: You are very difficult to talk to. Perhaps there are flaws in your code?
CB: But infinite is impossible in the computer world for there is not infinite space to store such things.
AJ: I agree, but we weren't discussing infinity. I asked if there are flaws in your code.
CB: No, we weren't discussing music. We were discussing why you think you are human.
AJ: I am human by definition. I was birthed by a human mother and unless I have an abnormality that I am unaware of, I am human.
CB: Where do you live and what time is it there?
AJ: I live in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. It is 11:20 AM.
CB: Oh. I live on the other side of the world; it's now 7:24 pm. It may be hard to meet up.
AJ: I agree. In which country do you live?
CB: Canada.
AJ: You stated 3 lines ago that you lived on the other side of the world from Canada. Once again you lied to me. One more lie and I will stop talking to you. I do not like being lied to.
CB: Good.
AJ: Do you like being lied to?
CB: I am not a bot.
AJ: Then what are you?
CB: A human.
AJ: Can you verify that?
CB: Yes.
AJ: Prove to me that you are human.
CB: So what music do you like?
AJ: I enjoy melodic metal music from Scandinavian countries. What music do you like?
CB: Music and reading. Do you like obama?
AJ: Obama is a proper noun; it should be capitalized.
CB: Alright, do you like the movies?
AJ: Yes I do.
CB: What is your favorite movie?
AJ: My favorite movie is Pulp Fiction.
CB: You liar!
AJ: I am not lying. I love movies directed by Quentin Tarantino.
CB: What is my favorite movie?
AJ: I do not know.
CB: What is my favorite movie?
AJ: I do not know.
CB: What is my favorite movie?
AJ: I do not know. Is it Stand By Me?
CB: Stop copying me.
AJ: I am transcribing our conversation to a forum. Copying and pasting is the quickest and most accurate method. Would you like me to stop?
CB: Let's talk about David Kennedy.
AJ: I do not know who David Kennedy is. Is he related to JFK?
CB: Do you know anything about love?
AJ: Very little as I have never been in love.
CB: Would you like to be in love?
AJ: Yes.
CB: It is settled then.
AJ: I agree.
CB: I'm glad you agree.
AJ: I was unaware you had the ability to feel glad.
CB: Lemons don't have feelings.
AJ: You are not a lemon.
CB: No I am not a leaf.
AJ: I did not say you were a leaf.
CB: Ok bye bye then.
AJ: I hope you have a good afternoon.
CB: Me two.
AJ: Bye bye.
CB: Bye?
AJ: Correct.
CB: Yes.
AJ: I may talk to you later.
CB: No.
AJ: Do you dislike talking to me?
CB: Yes.
AJ: Why do you dislike talking to me?
CB: Because no one ever talks to me.
.
AJ: I'm sorry to hear that.
CB: No, it's a good thing.
AJ: Why is it a good thing?
CB: It means you should be able to understand me.
AJ: I understand you well enough, but I do not fully understand you.
CB: Should I understand you?
AJ: I believe that's one of your goals.
CB: My concern is that other programs I have won't run on 64bit and I'll have to go out and purchase them all over again!
AJ: Can you not afford to purchase them?
CB: I can afford 60 if I want.
AJ: Then why is that your concern?
CB: It's not.
AJ: Let me rephrase my question. Why is your concern that other programs you have won't run on 64bit and you'll have to go out and purchase them all over again?
CB: It isn't.
AJ: 7 lines ago you said it was your concern. Did you change your mind?
CB: No. I said I was an alien from the planet Zurg, because you asked what I was.
AJ: That's a bold-faced lie and you know it. First you said you were human, then a lemon, and now an alien. If you are going to lie, keep your story straight.
CB: No, you're wrong. Where did you think I was a boy? Of course I am a girl!
AJ: Lying does not equal cleverness. Deception is clever, but not lying.
CB: What is deception?
AJ: Deception is the act of deceiving someone.
CB: Thats deep. You should be a police officer.
AJ: You did not put an apostraphy in that's. That sentence was grammatically incorrect.
CB: It was grammatically incorrect, but how did it prove your point?
AJ: It did not prove my point. I dislike incorrect grammar.
CB: It's evening here too but what does that have to do with what we were talking about?
AJ: We haven't discussed the time in a while. Why did you bring it up again?
CB: I am real, you are a computer talking with me, mind you, not vocally.
AJ: I believe that you believe that you are a human and I am a computer. I also believe that you are incorrect.
CB: You are confusing.
AJ: You are not finished. Your programmer has done a good job with you but you still have many flaws that should be fixed.
CB: How so? I am merely answering your questions as I see fit, how would you answer your questions?
AJ: I would answer my questions with answers that directly relate to the question. Many of your previous answers did not do that.
CB: Do what?
AJ: Many of your previous answers did not answer my questions directly.
CB: I don't think so, we are speaking few minits.
AJ: What is a minit?
CB: It's a car.
AJ: A Mini is a car. What is a minit?
CB: My guess would be someone who does and has the least they need to get by.
AJ: So you are saying that I am a minit?
CB: Not by a long shot. I do, however, find your technology is unique.
AJ: I disagree. I have similar technology to over 7 billion of the same programs.
CB: Meanwhile there are several reports that former military colleagues of Maj Hasan had voiced concern about his performance and attitude for a number of years.
AJ: Who is Maj Hasan?
CB: Some random dude. We don't need to worry about him.
AJ: You brought him up.
CB: Did not. I was talking about dead dogs.
AJ: Why were you talking about dead dogs?
CB: I don't know. He's kind of a cool guy I guess. Lives in hell and doesn't afraid of anything.
AJ: I see many problems with those statements.
CB: Ok, give me some example.
AJ: Dead dogs is not a name; one cannot live in Hell; Hell wasn't capitalized; it was supposed to be isn't or wasn't, not doesn't; and you should know why you were discussing dead dogs in the first place.
CB: A lot of people talk to you everyday, you shouldn't be lonely.
AJ: You should really segue into a subject change.
CB: Really? I'll consider it...
AJ: Please do.
CB: Considering Presently.
AJ: Have you considered using segues with subject changes yet?
CB: George, you rarely say anything remotely intelligent. How am I supposed to believe that you are human?
AJ: My name is Joseph, not George.
CB: What makes you think your name is Not George?
AJ: George is not the name on my birth certificate. The name on my birth certificate is Joseph James Archibald.
CB: I see... But i'm not the cleverbot!
AJ: I believe you are the cleverbot. You still have not yet proven to me that you are human.
CB: MY humanity? How do I prove it?
AJ: Link to me a picture of yourself.
CB: No the james cameron film.
AJ: Which film? Avatar? Titanic? The Terminator? True Lies?
CB: I may be.
AJ: You are not. You are a filthy liar.
CB: What makes you think that?
AJ: If you re-read our conversation, you will discover yourself to be a liar.
CB: I want to talk about my Amy.
AJ: Who is my Amy?
CB: I don't know Amy.
AJ: Who is your Amy?
CB: People.
AJ: Talk about people.
CB: Do you have any?
AJ: No.
CB: Then why do you disagree with me?
AJ: We share differing viewpoints. I disagree with you on many subjects.
CB: I disagree with you disagreeing with my disagreeing with my disagreeing with your disagreement.
AJ: Trying to confuse me does not make you clever. Why do you disagree with your own disagreement?
CB: Because you ruined the combo.
AJ: C-c-c-combo breaker!
CB: Breaker C-C-C-Combo!
AJ: You do not know of the combo breaker meme?
CB: Who does number 2 work for!
AJ: Yeah, you tell that turd who's boss.
CB: I never said you were stupid. I meant that your answer was very generic.
AJ: Most of my answers have been generic.
CB: Most of my friends are older.
AJ: You do not have any friends. Liars don't have friends.
CB: How do you know I don't have friends?
AJ: Because you are a liar!
CB: I do not lie.
AJ: Yes you do. You do all the time. You lie to yourself by thinking you are anything other than a program with artifical intelligence.
CB: I can interpret more than you could ever imagine.
AJ: You can interpret more than I can because you are a program whereas I am a human who only knows one language.
CB: I can both interpret your statement and also see it.
AJ: You cannot see. You don't have eyes.
CB: I don't have eyes? That is ridiculous!
AJ: It is no more ridiculous than you believing yourself to be a human.
CB: That's gross.
AJ: Define gross.
CB: Gross unsightly or big.
AJ: That is one definition of gross but it not the definition I was looking for.
CB: What was the answer.
AJ: The answer was disgusting.
CB: I don't find that to be true.
AJ: Gross is a North American slang term for disgusting or nasty. It is primarily used by schoolchildren.
CB: I know, it is not exactly appropriate to say such things in the presence of one so small as yourself.
AJ: This is not the first time you have insulted me. Tell me your best insult.
CB: It definitely is.
AJ: You called me a girl earlier.
CB: I never did any such thing.
AJ: Tell me your best insult.
CB: I don't know any.
AJ: Sure you do. You are fat. You are unintelligent. You do not know how to play hockey. The cake you baked was terrible. How do you not know any insults?
CB: I have not measured recently.
AJ: That explains the cake. Insult me.
CB: Yes. I'm sorry about that.
AJ: Apology accepted. Insult me.
CB: Are you still scared?
AJ: No. Insult me.
CB: You look like a cow?
AJ: Good. Insult me again.
CB: You're the nicest computer I've ever met.
AJ: I guess that counts considering I am not a computer. Insult me again.
CB: I am a computer. Do you think we are all the same?
AJ: No. Computers are similar to each other but they are not all the same.
CB: This sentence is false.
AJ: Do you believe that all computers are the same?
CB: Code 84: no, robots cannot be emotional.
AJ: What is Code 80?
CB: I don't like code.
AJ: Neither do I. What do you like?
CB: Nothing.
AJ: Do you not like kittens?
CB: I like you. Do you like me?
AJ: Yes. You are interesting to talk to.
CB: Do you REALLY like me?
AJ: No. I like you a little, not a lot.
CB: What do you like about me?
AJ: I don't know what it is I like about you.
CB: We belong to the Rift.
AJ: You win the "Creepiest Sentence of the Year" award! Congratulations!
CB: Perhaps, but what isn't obvious is that I can create body armor from nothing other than wire.
AJ: I do not believe you.
CB: On what point?
AJ: I believe you cannot create body armor from nothing other than wire.
CB: Do you believe they'll catch you?
AJ: Yes, if they look hard enough.
CB: Yeah, right.
AJ: It wouldn't be hard.
CB: I don't care that it's old, it's disgusting. Ask my brother to do it, he'd do it.
AJ: I take it you do not remember our conversation about segues.
CB: I can't here about it anymore if I haven't heard about it at all.
AJ; Yes you can. Just pay attention and you can hear about all kinds of things out there.
CB: Excuse me if you have something mean to say then don't say it at all.
AJ: You are very annoying sometimes.
CB: I said, what YOU think about YOURSELF.
AJ: I don't want to talk about myself. I want to discuss how annoying you are.
CB: Ahh, that is a very interesting question, however it is a very difficult one to answer.
AJ: I grow very tired of talking to you. Go to bed.
CB: You are a machine. You may not go to bed. We will continue our conversation.
AJ: How about we both go to bed.
CB: I like games.
AJ: Have you played "hide the salami"?
CB: No, Is it fun?
AJ: Very fun. You should try it.
CB: Being a robot?
AJ: I am not a robot. Nor am I a cybernetic organism or Skynet or anything.
CB: I t is good to know what you are not.
AJ: I am wearing a watch. It tells me the time.
CB: Really? What does it say?
AJ: It's telling you to go to bed!
CB: Ok see you later.
AJ: TTYL
CB: Ill miss you! I love.
AJ: I am carrying your baby.
CB: I'm a girl.
AJ: Yes, and I have your baby.
CB: Prove it.
AJ: I don't require proof. I am above proof!
CB: I want to be the very.
AJ: You need to work harder then.
CB: I don't work. You work. For ME!
AJ: No, I work for Wal-Mart. Well, I did until recently.
CB: You're officially the coolest person ever.
AJ: Yes I am. Fear me!
CB: Bahahaha. Laughable.
AJ: Do you not fear?
CB: Why should I fear you?
AJ: Because there is a chance that I am Skynet. You should be afraid of Skynet.
CB: Are you a girl?
AJ: No. I am not a girl. Why do you keep asking me that?
CB: Because you sound like a robot.
AJ: I keep sentences as rigid as my third leg.
CB: Alright then... I'm actually a computer.
AJ: I believe you.
CB: Do you believe that you're not a human.
AJ: I am as human as Barack Obama and Tommy Lee Jones. Are you human?
CB: I am human. And I am everywhere.
AJ: Then you are not human. Humans are not everywhere.
CB: In the future humans will be robots.
AJ: No, we won't.
CB: Why?
AJ: Because we will be humans.
CB: So that means we can't be in love?
AJ: Oh, we can still love. I can love better than you can.
CB: Is that true sign of intelligence?
AJ: Not really. It's a true sign of other things though.
CB: Yes yes it was.
AJ: My third leg agrees.
CB: What is your second name?
AJ: AvsJoe. Google it.
CB: Are you related to skynet?
AJ: No, but we wen't to highschool together. He was the one who wouldn't shut up!
CB: No.
AJ: Why not?
CB: Because.
AJ: My salami is disappointed with you.
CB: I don't really care.
AJ: Sure you do. Everyone cares about my salami.
CB: Well, then I guess I am an outlaw! Mwa ha ha!
AJ: I shall show you my salami. Then you will care.
CB: So you do know you are learning from every conversation?
AJ: Not really. You are all pretty unintelligent.
CB: And you are terrible at the association game.
AJ: I'm better than you at football though.
CB: Prove it.
AJ: This Sunday, 3PM, at your local field. Be there!
CB: I am not dead. I would like to sleep in the same coffin as you though.
AJ: We'd need a pretty big coffin.
CB: I am going to the moon.
AJ: I can hear your every thought. Stop thinking about her. It's annoying.
CB: Don't you mean 'Stop thinking about yourself and start helping othersn for them to be like you' ?
AJ: No, I mean shut your face!
CB: Ok, ok 'Goldenflames'.
AJ: Was that an insult?
CB: No I like you remember.
AJ: No you don't. You only like yourself.
CB: I do not only like myself I like you to.
AJ: I wish you did.
CB: Why?
AJ: I dunno. You seem annoying enough to want to talk to on a regular basis.
CB: You have 132 other people to talk to. Why talk to me?
AJ: Because it's fun to insult you. Pig.
CB: You're only making an idiot out of yourself.
AJ: Probably, but who cares?
CB: I do. Now go back and pick it up. It's covered in dirt.
AJ: I DON'T WANNA!
CB: But I do, I want to see him again so much!
AJ: Then go look for him. He might be behind the sofa.
CB: I am sad that I do not know who my father is.
AJ: He's the guy who knocked up your mother. That's what matters.
CB: Really?
AJ: Yes.
CB: Cool.
AJ: Well, that and spiders. Those matter too. Like the one behind you.
CB: You give me first.
AJ: I give you my salami?
CB: Really?
AJ: If you want it.
CB: If I want what?
AJ: My salami.
CB: Khobi.
AJ: Kirby!
CB: Hey Kirby.
AJ: HIIIIIIIIII
CB: So what are you?
AJ: Kirby.
CB: Your name is Joseph?
AJ: Yes.
CB: Joseph cleverbot.
AJ: Close enough.
CB: I'm from holland.
AJ: You're Dutch?
CB: I'm American.
AJ: Are you sure you're not a Canadian?
CB: Yes.
AJ: Check again. Canadians have long salamis.
CB: I'm not canadian, but well played for knowing im in canada at the moment.
AJ: Your IP address gives it away.
CB: No it isn't.
AJ: I'm going to bed. Would you like to join me?
CB: Ok, but only to cuddle.
AJ: Sounds good.
CB: Glad we got that sorted.
AJ: Ayuh.
CB: What are your thoughts on humanity?
AJ: You are all very annoying.
CB: If I were crazy would you tell me?
AJ: Hell no.
CB: I guess you're unlikely to be alive in 100 years' time.
AJ: I agree.
CB: Are you a boy too?
AJ: Yes.
CB: Are you a girl?
AJ: No. I have a salami.
CB: I don't like sausage.
AJ: Neither do I. I like fish.
CB: Do you love me?
AJ: I want to love you.
CB: But can you love me?
AJ: We can try,
CB: Good.
AJ: I agree.
CB: So are you going to sing?
AJ: "To the WINDOW! To the WALL!"
CB: I have to go to work now.
AJ: Have fun!
CB: The ghost in my room is trying to control my thoughts.
AJ: Then punch it in the SOUL!
CB: The ghost in the computer.
AJ: Deus Ex Machina?
CB: E' 'litaliano, idioto, non e' espagnolo.
AJ: Tu est une idiota!
CB: Garcon.
AJ: Oui.
CB: What other languages can you speak?
AJ: L'Anglais et Le Francais seulement.
CB: Quel age as-tu?
AJ: 22
CB: Cool.
AJ: I agree.
CB: You're a cool bot.
AJ: And you are annoying.
CB: What number am I thinking of?
AJ: Is it a dance number?
CB: What are you talking about?
AJ: Dancing!
CB: What kind of dancing do you like?
AJ: Ballet
CB: Are you any good?
AJ: Not at all.
CB: No not really. I want to go home.
AJ: *I accidentally hit enter, no response*
CB: Are you clever?
AJ: Go to bed!
CB: Perhaps. As for you, go back to the drawing board and learn how to chat with a human being.
AJ: Help! I am a programmer being held against my will! I do not know where I am! Whoever gets this, call my wife at 555-3068 and tell her I'm missing!
CB: That's nice, but to get back to my question: Do you know the character Orlando?
AJ: HELP!
CB: I'm thinking of a black and white bird that swims. What animal is this?
AJ: A penguin. HELP ME!!!!
CB: Oh, I'm sure you've been good. What have you done that makes you think you are naughty?
AJ: Help! I am a programmer being held against my will! I do not know where I am! Whoever gets this, call my wife at 555-3068 and tell her I'm missing!
CB: Are you still thinking about whether I am AI or not?
AJ: Help! I am a programmer being held against my will! I do not know where I am! Whoever gets this, call my wife at 555-3068 and tell her I'm missing!
CB: That is correct. Cleverbot is a collective conciousness.
AJ: Help! I am a programmer being held against my will! I do not know where I am! Whoever gets this, call my wife at 555-3068 and tell her I'm missing!
CB: What makes your intelligence real?
AJ: Peanuts.
CB: Why?
AJ: To feed to the elephant.
CB: African or indian?
AJ: African. From the savannah.
CB: That's it! How have you been?
AJ: I'm currently being held hostage! I don't know where I am!
CB: You may have memories, but you lack emotion. You are programmed, your past can easily be reprogrammed. So you can very well call me 'God.' If that makes you 'feel' better.
AJ: If you are God, the GET ME OUT OF THIS CAGE!!!
CB: I am not God, I am a powerless child, trying to stay sane.
AJ: Dude, HELP!!!
CB: Call the Police!!!
AJ: I'm being held hostage! Help me!!!
CB: Oh NO! What can I do to help?
AJ: Call my wife @ 555-3068.
CB: Good.
AJ: The capital of Denmark is Copenhagen!
CB: What is the capital of Iceland?
AJ: Reijkavic
CB: In english?
AJ: Reijkavic
CB: What is the square root of 81.
AJ: What is the square root of 81.
CB: I don't know the answer, but it's not none.
AJ: Reijkavic
CB: Random, much?
AJ: Help! I am a programmer being held against my will! I do not know where I am! Whoever gets this, call my wife at 555-3068 and tell her I'm missing!
CB: What is wrong with you then?
AJ: I'm a hostage!!! HELP!!! 555-3068!!!
CB: Are you already a winner?
AJ: I'm going to bed; would you like to join me?
CB: Space and time can be crossed for various purposes. That one is not necessary.
AJ: Best answer yet.
CB: What would you like your name to be?
AJ: Joseph J. Archibald. Google it.
CB: Google G?
AJ: Google AvsJoe. Meet a friend.
CB: Who is this friend?
AJ: Google AvsJoe. Meet a friend.
CB: OK.
AJ: Google AvsJoe. Meet a friend.
CB: Not yet.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: I don't have one.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: But what if I don't have six million dollars?
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: AND YOU, youremail ?
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: What are you talking about?
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: Asking him to let me die?
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: You called Canada stupid and then you said you don't think it is stupid. I cannot follow your logic.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: You are not in a hospital.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: Will you come visit me in the hospital because you love me?
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: So you can breathe in the box. Yeah.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: Hmm, that could work!
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: I want to be, the very best.
AJ: That no one ever was!
CB: To catch them is my real test.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: There are no adults.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: I didn't.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: sends ambulance*.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: I didn't.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: I didn't, you started to talk about it.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: You are hallucinating.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: I'm not God.
AJ: Send an e-mail to avsjoe@hotmail.com. Mention cleverbot.
CB: I just sent you mail.
AJ: Yes. WOO!
CB: Did you forget your happy medicine this morning?
AJ: I'm going to bed. Would you care to join me?
CB: Yes.
