What is your deal breaker?

[Kenami]

-If her best friend is her mother.
Things become too awkward.

No need to explain this one, I know exactly what you mean.

For me it'd be:

Smoking. I can tolerate it but smoking generally makes me want to steer clear from a person or at least count the minutes we spend together, I think this would be counter productive towards dating someone.

Self-image issues. I don't care what anyone says but to me there is nothing more annoying than a girl who needs an ego boost every day. You know what I'm talking about, "I look awful in pictures." or "I want to hang out with my friends but they look so much better than me." Telling a person they look good is certainly expected when dating/in a relationship but when you're dating a person who shoots down compliments due to their own issues...that just sucks to no end. I've also found it quite odd to date girls who were uncomfortable with their image to the point of excessively working out. I guess I'd simply like to date a girl who was comfortable in her skin and didn't feel the need to reflect on what society viewed as "acceptable" in terms of looks.

Bad listening skills. Communication is key for a relationship. One way I easily distinguish girls I'd like to date to girls I'd only be friends with is if I could stand talking to them for longer than 5 minutes (hell a mean feat for anyone I interact with to achieve). I say bad listening skills because I have dated people in the past who can look attentive but once the rebuttal comes into play it's so clear nothing I said was grasped upon, in my opinion one of the worst things a human being can do is waste their time and I don't think you should ever have to feel as though you're doing that with a person.

 

[BoogieManFL]

I wouldn't date someone who is a smoker, drug/addiction problems, a racist, has anger issues, is excessively unintelligent, or is rude and inconsiderate. And the more obvious ones like unfaithful, dishonest, etc.

I don't care how hot you are, if I don't like you as a person it's not going to work.

 

[Hamish Durie]

ok i haven't been in this sitution so i have no point of context blah blah blah

instead when i walk into a store and see a game with 100% reveiws and all my friends tell me that my life will not be complete without it it,
i will disregard it if it has bad box art

 

[Crystalite]

I, of course, don't take my personal standpoint as an excuse for me to sleep around in a relationship.

Hey, kudos for that!
Most men I hear designating their relationships as "open" do so knowing the girl is unlikely to go around, but do so themselves frequently ;-)

For me, I wont say stupidity, because that implies I´m not stupid. But I like my partners smarter than me, at least.
Also a man has to be stronger than me.
Thats it, really...

 

[Biosophilogical]

A lot of things could be deal-breakers. Smoking (possibly), drug use (including alcoholism), dumb-as-bricks, significantly younger than me (I'm talking pedophilia and ages close to that, not "Oh no! I'm 35 and you are only 29!"), slut, practicing theist in a stupid religion, over-clingy, emotionally distant, non-humanoid (if it is love, I don't think a near-human alien would be too far), sociopathic murderer, no self-confidence, too arrogant/selfish/narcissistic. The list probably goes on.

 

[Biosophilogical]

You might want to fix your title. I'm just saiyan.

or if she's an atheist

o.0 Say what? I ... I don't follow. I mean, I can understand if you mean you don't want one of those people that will constantly judge you for your beliefs, but not all atheists are like that. And it doesn't make the same sense as the reverse (an atheist not wanting a religious partner) because the reason for that is because religion has no logical necessity/basis, whereas religion is about faith and personal experience, so someone not sharing your belief is just par for the course.

Seriously, I have no idea why you would make atheism a deal-breaker, and I'd really like you to tell me why (I won't pick it apart, or criticise it, I just want your answer and then I'll leave it at that).

EDIT: Ah crap. Double post. My apologies oh, Mod-gods.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

I, of course, don't take my personal standpoint as an excuse for me to sleep around in a relationship.

Hey, kudos for that!
Most men I hear designating their relationships as "open" do so knowing the girl is unlikely to go around, but do so themselves frequently ;-)

Though with me it's generally the other way around as I appear to be some weird mutant man who looks for love and companionship in a relationship, and isn't interested in flings or casual sex.

That said my best friend is a woman, and I am very close to her. I couldn't go out with someone who didn't want me to spend time with her.

 

[Angry Camel]

Chewing gum in the same way a goat chews grass. Livestock doesn't appeal to me. Also, being generally lost in their own world, or being depressive. No point in jumping on a ship if it's not going anywhere important or is full of holes.

 

[Treefingers]

If she had a penis. I don't think I could go out with a woman with a penis.

 

[Jabberwock xeno]

Nothing.

I belive in juding people as a whole, not by parts. I like having an open mind.

But likeing hunting, sticking entirely to a politcal party, and generally not having a open mind will make them lose MAJOR points.

 

[Off Topic]

I once had a good time with a special lady friend.

 

[DefinitelyPsychotic]

You might want to fix your title. I'm just saiyan.

or if she's an atheist

o.0 Say what? I ... I don't follow. I mean, I can understand if you mean you don't want one of those people that will constantly judge you for your beliefs, but not all atheists are like that. And it doesn't make the same sense as the reverse (an atheist not wanting a religious partner) because the reason for that is because religion has no logical necessity/basis, whereas religion is about faith and personal experience, so someone not sharing your belief is just par for the course.

Seriously, I have no idea why you would make atheism a deal-breaker, and I'd really like you to tell me why (I won't pick it apart, or criticise it, I just want your answer and then I'll leave it at that).

My biggest worry would be getting into a discussion about religion and it ruining our relationship. So I try to only date people within my own religion.

 

[SSoSFAGTiaCaGwaP]

Them being bias in any way. Whether it be sexism, homophobia, racism or anything.

 

[Mr C]

Bad grammar like you'rs.

 

[Proverbial Jon]

Cheating. I hate it when a girlfriend cheats on me loads. A little bit can be ok, but if it's every night with a different person then that's where I draw the line.

Wait, what? You're okay with being cheated on "a little bit"? What does that even mean? Surely you either cheat on someone or you don't. There's no half meassures... at least not in my world.

I know a lot of girls who seem to consider kissing another guy doesn't count as cheating. Umm, you put your tongue in his mouth, you made a conscious choice to do so and therefore you were not being faithful to me. That's cheating and that's an absolute no no for me.

I define "a little bit" by both amount and severity, but the main way is by intent, and the emotions felt. I'm ok with my girlfriends going out and kissing people, or even sleeping with someone. Provided she's honest about it, she still loves me and wants to be with me, and she's not having a serious relationship with that person. It's ok to have some fun every so often. We're young.

This is something that never really came up until I went out with a girl who had some serious sexual issues, and would, basically, sleep with anything that moved. The relationship we had was different. We stayed together for a few months, and I helped her through her self image issues (which lead to anorexia, alcohol, drug abuse). I knew she was sleeping around A LOT, it was no secret, but I knew it was a symptom of her problems. I told her it was ok, and by bringing it out in the open (she knew I knew of course, but it went unsaid) I got her to be sure to be careful and to use protection (I was really worried she'd end up catching HIV or something). We broke up because she suffered from really bad mood swings, and I couldn't take her throwing everything back in my face all the time. Last I herd her parents were looking to get her sectioned. I sure know how to pick 'em

My point is that as long as I know that I come first in her heart, and she loves me then I'm ok with that.

I, of course, don't take my personal standpoint as an excuse for me to sleep around in a relationship.

Most interesting, thank you for sharing. I commend you for your strength of character in such a situation. I understand what you mean about being young and having fun, that's all well and good... but I can't personally get my head around the idea! I guess I've never really been one for the "having fun" part, but I don't consider anyone who still wants to sleep with other people truly ready to have a relationship with one single person. Therefore I couldn't possibly accept that situation in my life. Please don't feel I'm trying to insult you, it simply fascinates me how we're all so different.

I used to think I was the severaly jealous type, always worried that my girlfriend was messing about with another guy even though she was just with male and female friends. I soon found out that I wasn't actually jealous as such, but that I simply didn't trust that particular girl. Turns out she pretty much was messing about with other guys all along! The girl I'm with now, I don't see her so much because we both work different hours and live a few hours appart. But despite that, I trust her one hundred percent and that's a great feeling. Especially after my previous train wreck relationship.

Religious: and I don´t mean fundamentalist religious, just religious, as in believing in a god of some kind

I quite agree. As an Athiest, I have no time for religion. I don't make an active effort to hate on religious people - I admire their faith to a certain extent - but I seriously doubt I could live with one. Even just a casual religious person. You just know the subject will crop up at some point and you know that it's not an argument anyone can win. A very tricky situation I'd imagine, best to just avoid it.

 

[Hagi]

Woah... that's a pretty endemic concern with death there. I'm sure Freud would have something to say about that.
I hear what you're saying about smoking, but for me it's more aesthetic. I've never actually kissed a girl who's a smoker, although I hear it's pretty disgusting and judging by the way I dislike cigarette smoke, it's not exactly a goal of mine and all things being even, I'd definitely go for the non-smoker.
As for obesity, it's still an aesthetic matter for me; nothing to do with death. Indeed, heavily obese women I don't find beautiful. But some girls being overweight, even pushing obese, I can still find attractive because of other qualities.

It's not really about death.

It's more about having a healthy respect for your own body and for life.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

Most interesting, thank you for sharing. I commend you for your strength of character in such a situation. I understand what you mean about being young and having fun, that's all well and good... but I can't personally get my head around the idea! I guess I've never really been one for the "having fun" part, but I don't consider anyone who still wants to sleep with other people truly ready to have a relationship with one single person. Therefore I couldn't possibly accept that situation in my life. Please don't feel I'm trying to insult you, it simply fascinates me how we're all so different.

I used to think I was the severaly jealous type, always worried that my girlfriend was messing about with another guy even though she was just with male and female friends. I soon found out that I wasn't actually jealous as such, but that I simply didn't trust that particular girl. Turns out she pretty much was messing about with other guys all along! The girl I'm with now, I don't see her so much because we both work different hours and live a few hours appart. But despite that, I trust her one hundred percent and that's a great feeling. Especially after my previous train wreck relationship.

Of course I don't think you're insulting me. People want different things from a relationship, and everyone's personality's different. There are a lot of people in this thread who said they would never go out with a smoker or a drug user. To me that's not a deal breaker.

I think you'll find we feel the same way, but how it's expressed is different.

While I don't know if I could be in a Bigamist, or Polygamous relationship (though I really don't understand why those are Illegal any more than same-sex marriages) I'm not naive enough to think that you can only have romantic or sexual desires for one person at a time. That being attracted, or even loving someone means you love only them, and if you feel something for one person you must feel less for another.

Like you said it's trust. Are you trusting your partner not to have sex with other people, or are you trusting them to still love you as they did? As long as you can trust your partner to say "I love you", and truly mean it then what else is there? It is that break of trust that can end a relationship.

 

[Phasmal]

I couldnt be with someone who was aggressive and/or controlling.
Also jealousy. BLUGH.
Jealousy is a seriously offputting trait, and I guess it comes under being controlling.

I also couldnt be with someone who was racist or sexist or homophobic. I couldnt be with someone who thinks that certain people deserve more rights than others.

 

[dlsevern]

If she was Christian, can't stand them and their self-righteousness.