What Is Your Favorite ZP quote?

[KnightRider0717]

the "press x not the die" stuff is great... heres 3 of my favorite that come to mind

from the darksiders review:
"If I were War, and I'd just hoisted a seven-foot demon into the air and chopped him in half with a single swing, I wouldn't stand there scowling, I'd go, "Fucking hell! Did everyone see that? I am squirting machismo out of my nipples over here! I am a monster truck that walks like a man"

from the dead to rights retribution:
"you can press a button to teleport both he and jack to a little pocket dimension where pain is god and jack slate is pope"

from prototype:
"you can shoot blood out of your wrists at jet engine velocity and fly like emo peter pan"

 

[CrashBang]

One which isn't funny but actually left me pondering quite a few things: "Sometimes it's worth remembering that popular things are popular for a reason... because they're good!"

And my favourite: "Like the zookeeper said to the last male panda on earth, 'fuck that!'"

Ooh and "It shoots shurikens and lightning! It could only be more awesome if it had tits and was on fire!"

 

[traineesword]

i always crack up at the -:

"or as i like to call it; Airstrikes 2- Hooray for Airstrikes"

Mercenaries 2 review for those who didn't guess... absolutely love that review. alongside the Just Cause 2 review

"and everything that passes for a boss-fight shrivels pathetically in face of Rico Rodriguez; the legendary Son of Zues and the hispanic window cleaner"

wow... i just realised how ironic (and likely incorrect) it is placing semicolons in the middle of quotes from Zero punctuation ¬_¬

 

[KnightRider0717]

"As Thomas you can shoot more accurecly, use a lasso, and climb ledges. And as Ray you can open the pause menu, restart the mission, and choose Thomas. you fucking idiot."
CoW: BiB

What game is this?

call of juarez: bound in blood

 

[SpawnOf84]

It's like my right hand on a Sunday night.

It beats the hell outta me.

 

[Enemy Of The State]

"Teleporting around like a broken TARDIS"

and

Not the good kind of Special, I mean the Special as in "Sorry my son ate your shoes, he's a little bit Special"

 

[Xeros]

"...leaves you emotionally drained, and satisfied like fucking a burning dolphin".

 

[narwhalman218]

"FF13 is padded like a menstruating firehose"

--FF13 review cracked me up.

 

[TheGamerist]

Some will say Yahtzee, you slick internet paparazzi, surely its fun, to stick the butt of your gun, up the ass of a goose stepping nazi

Wolfenstein review

 

[Lucky Chainsaw]

"It's almost prodigious in its retarded genius"
-Chinatown Wars

 

[Drakmeire]

I wanna say the whole "Pillum" the crappy video game designer rant but I forgot what review it's from.

 

[Pyotr Romanov]

"If you were paying attention, you might have noticed those are all sequels, if not *clap-clap* OI!"

-Not sure which episode, but it's not a game review.

 

[grimgin]

WE LOST CONTACT bull f-ing shit(what arbitrary silliness) all threats where dead i was looking at them where close enough to comunicate by waggling our eybrows what happens when the time runs out do they lose honer and kill themselves well start over as the exasperated chinease breeder said to the last 2 pandas f-ck that

 

[Crispee]

"Well bugger my Bumblebee's Bread-bin!" from Darksiders.

"I am a Monster Truck that walks like a man!" from Darksiders.

"Here are the combos you will need to master, the Chump Chop (Square), the Double Chump Chop (Square Square), and the Whipped Cream Genocide Bruhaha (Square Square Square)." again from Darksiders.

"But what presses my cramp-ons the most is the character design, War looks like someone sat down, started drawing him and then never fucking stopped!" yet more Darksiders.

That review is bloody Gold.

 

[ScarecrowAlone]

"I COULD go on listing all the faults in this game--so I will."

 

[Purpleboomerang]

"As the concerned friend said to the inventor of the faeces-powered helecopter, this shit will not fly."