What makes a REAL man?

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Treefingers

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Aug 1, 2008
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A penis

A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.

(cookie for the reference).
 

Dalamard

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Apr 27, 2008
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We the worshipers of the Æsir believe that a real man is a man that can provide for his family, show valor in the face of an emergency(whatever it may be) and above all take responsibility for his actions.

that is a real man for you.
 

saladin.q

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Apr 2, 2009
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Well, frankly, at fourteen there is no way you can be a man, or girls at that age can decide. There is a good chance your gf is just uncomfortable with the idea of sex which is why she finds you so appealing. Her friend, on the other hand, is in the throes of puberty and wants a boy in a similar situation. Ya'll are in the process of becoming adults, but not there yet. Anyone who says that not engaging "alone time" makes you a man is wrong. Anyone who says that engaging in "alone time" makes you a man is also wrong. After all, girls do it as well. A real man, a gentleman, is something divorced from sexuality. You can love sex or be apathetic and still be a gentleman. And, just a general note, "alone time" isn't wrong. This isn't the 19th century.
 

Bananajoy

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Jan 18, 2010
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Your friends think that real men are sex/porn addicts? Lolwut? No, a man is one who stands up for themselves, even if this means admitting defeat/mistakes. Also, a real man treats a woman nicely. ;)
 

The87Italians

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I think the answer lies somewhere in between. Not a sex crazed lune, but not someone who's afraid to have a little fun.
 

PunkRex

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Read Eyeshield 21, Teggen Toppen Gurren Lagen and watch any Naruto scene with Gai, Lee or Jiraiya. You will see... HARD WORK!!!!!!
 

KarumaK

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Sep 24, 2008
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Radeonx said:
Last time I checked having a penis classified me as a man.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that's basically the only qualification.
You are in fact wrong, it's the Y chromosome that matters.

Anyone can buy a penis.
 

saladin.q

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Apr 2, 2009
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SuccessAndBiscuts said:
Im expecting lots of genitalia comments but what about people who have a sex-change? Where do they fit into that definition? I think you need to differentiate between sex and character.

My personal definition? There are a lot of "guys" in the world (you just need to be male for that) but a "man" is someone willing to stand up for the right thing and protect others despite what it might cost them personally.
But of course, the question is, how do you know what the right thing is? I think a good person, not just a man, should be able to realize that the "right thing" is almost never cut and dry.
 

Canadamus Prime

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Jun 17, 2009
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First of all, let me just say that I like your girlfriend. Secondly, if being a man means being a sex driven idiot, then I'm ashamed to be one (a man that is).
 

teutonicman

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Mar 30, 2009
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Heterosexual Real Man: Like titties, occasionally wanks off/watches porn (with a woman), is hairy (chest/face) and a deep voice. Those are the first things that come to mind.
 

Paksenarrion

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CoverYourHead said:
Saw a topic like this yesterday, and I'll post the same thing I did then:

Go watch Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. That'll teach ya how it's done.
"Who the hell do you think we are!?"

Even the women are ballsy.

"ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH"
 

Lrbearclaw

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May 19, 2009
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Gender is determined by the plumbing. The true measure of a man is the heart and man. Standing for what you believe, never backing down from it. This makes you a man. Defending another who is weaker rather than kicking them makes you a man. Doing right and turning from wrong makes you a man. Being real and showing your heart makes you a man. Men fight to defend what they cherish and a real man forgives.
 

Daverson

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Nov 17, 2009
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Drinkin' and Fightin'. These are the two pillars of manliness. Anyone who says otherwise clearly has no idea what they're talking about.

Other activities that are manly:

-Sexin' stuff (this isn't one of the two pillars, 'cause women can do it too, yasee! Not to say they can't drink and fight, but that'd hardly be ladylike now, would it?)
-Fixin' stuff
-Buildin' stuff
-Shoutin' stuff
-Usin' Apostrophes in the place of "g"s
-Supportin' Football. Not Soccer, or American Football though. Jus' "Football". S'kinda complex how this one works, 'cause if you're in the US it's Football, but if you're not, then it's Football, see? Note that you don't need to play football, neither do you necessarily have to even like football, you just have to support it!
-Growin' Facial Hair (some people will tell you this isn't true, THEY LIE!)

This is of course, by no means an extensive list. Generally, if it's something you can angrily shout while doin', then it counts.
 

Mr. Gency

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Jan 26, 2010
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Your a man if you have a Tunk.
The Rockerfly said:
If anyone says a Bioshock or Castlvania quote I will kill them.
Awww. That just makes me want to make a Bioshock quote.

But I choose not to.
 

Mr. Gency

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Dalamard said:
We the worshipers of the Æsir believe that a real man is a man that can provide for his family, show valor in the face of an emergency(whatever it may be) and above all take responsibility for his actions.

that is a real man for you.
How'd you make the "Æ"?
 

Baralak

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Dec 9, 2009
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I have long wondered this same thing, but luckily, I found a how-to guide on how to be a REAL man, and I shall share it with you!

 

CrashTestZombie

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Mar 13, 2009
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In order for someone to be classified as a "real" man, they must pass the rite of passage: killing a unicorn. There are many ways to do this, but this is how I killed one:

Find an abandoned house in your neighborhood. If there is a lack of abandoned houses, kill a resident and wait 2 weeks, 5 days and exactly 8 hours (This is the time required for a house to become abandoned). Step foot in the house find the mirror near the lower-left corner. Knock on this mirror 3.14 times. This should unlock the mirror which transports you to a McDonald's located on a small island near the Bermuda Triangle. If you already reside on this island, skip the previous steps. This is the first test.

Once you are on this island, whistle for a cab. The license plate should say "Fresh" and have dice in the mirror. If anything, you could say this cab was rare, but think 'naw, forget it' and say "Yo home, to Bel-Air!"
You should arrive to the unicorn's residence around 7 or 8. Yell to the cab "Yo homes, smell ya later!" and -again- knock on the door 3.14 times. When the unicorn answers, say only that you will never give him up nor let him down. Once he is in a false sense of security, stab him in the pancreas 4 times with a shiskebab.

This is how you become a man.