WARNING : DO NOT ATTEMPT WHAT I AM ABOUT TO DIVULGE - IT REALLY DOESN'T WORK...
She was my first love. It was our second Christmas together. I've always been a joker (and I am not a christmas fan anyway), so that particular christmas, I decided (without telling her) that I would get all her presents from a £1 Shop, and spend no more than £10 on her. This meant, after I opened up her presents (clothes, cd's, dvd's) she started on my pile, which contained :
- A tube of plastic horses
- A small crowbar
- A shoebox with various models of teacups in it (which i'd wrapped in newspaper as a sort of game)
- A picture of a cat (not hers)
- A bag of clothes pegs
Needless to say, she was entirely unimpressed. The Capitalist whore.
And how did this romance finish? Why she broke my nose with her kneecap and I had to stagger to a pub, whilst woozy from the lack of blood, to get a pint of cider (for the sugar, of course)
