What would you say if you were an NPC?

[X Gintoki X]

i would be something like this

"as soon as this conversation ends your game will corrupt beyond repair...
... also have a nice day and thank you for choosing Aperture science"

and i would be positioned right before the final boss

 

[Lonely Swordsman]

"Oh, it's YOU. Please, try ransacking my house too. There won't be any traps, I promise. You're welcome."

 

[El Poncho]

It's...coming...

So they think what's coming or more likely where the fucks a quest for this.

 

[OpiateChicken]

Spoiler: You need a different TM!

 

[Gariom]

"Watch for teh hax!"

OR

"Have you ever heard of The Escapist?"

 

[Buck Wilde]

I'd say "I HAVE NO GREETING!" go Oblivion

 

[Skratt]

Tceles B Husp

 

[Chicago Ted]

'You're not really changing anything. No matter what you do, no matter how much you effect the world, nothing is going to be altered in the slightist way. You are just another meaningless--- Oh wait, is that a camera? Oh shit! The protaganist! Guess I'm going to have to drop to my knees and beg for my life [/sarcasm]."

 

[J-Alfred]

Oh... where to start...

1. "If you're an asshole and you know it, don't say anything!"
2. "What's that over there?"
3. "Oh, you're looking for the key to the Door of Doom? I know exactly where it is! Follow Me!" and then get killed in the stupidest way possible.
4. "Why, Cloud, I see you insist on carrying around a huge sword that is bigger then your body. Could you possibly be compensating for a small package?" and then laugh, because in FF you can't kill NPCs.
5. Just follow them around, chanting, "Hail the Conquering Hero!"
6. "Why yes, I am a seven foot tall Viking warrior with biceps the size of watermelons and a sword the size of a BMW. However, I am far too lazy to kill twenty Banglefaced Bunny Rabbits myself, so could you go out and do it for me? I'm late for my daily oiling."
7. Spread rumors about the allegedly great stuff my neighbor has hidden in his house.

all of that, or just mumble something about needing coffee and then give you a pokeball tutorial.

 

[Aqualung]

Halt! You violated the law. You must pay the court a fine or serve your sentence!

Hey... Someone ought to say that! And then make a remix of it!

Anyway,

"Your master dies at the end and your girlfriend is actually your sister. So I heard, anyway. But good luck, hero!"

 

[shazlor]

"Return to me when you have (insert random item that is not in game)"

 

[FireFly90]

"Why the hell am i in this stupid game ¬¬, why doesn't someone come along and kill me... oh look, here comes the protagonist. Thank god for that, thought i was going to be stuck here fo... (killed)"

 

[dishwasherwong]

"I saw a mudcrab down by the water recently..."

 

[thompus]

"press any key to continue"

repeat a million times and thats what i would say

 

[Croaker42]

"WELCOME TO CORNERIA"

"I like swords."
------------
Or "I can change your life goals for 100gil."
Take the money.
"I can change your life goals for 100gil."

 

[Aunel]

"ever vigilant"
and be one of the boring town guard guys

 

[SomeUnregPunk]

"You found a secret level. Please kill yourself in this exact spot to be transported to the secret level!"

.... you can bet that any gamer coming across that message will try it once.

 

[zerzxes]

"So, taking pictures of your junk. I see you're using the wide angle lens."

Unskippable referance ftw!

OT:
"most people have evil spirits. You? You have stupid spirits, go see shaman. Get hole in head"

cookie for reference!

Fallout 2, talk to Sulik with less than 4 Intelligence. Grampy Bone tells him you're retarded.

Spoiler

You earned it, Fallout 2 was just simply awesome!

 

[gameboy 731]

That really depends on what kind of video game you are in, standard RPG NPC might say
"My wife has been kidnapped by trolls an taken to the cave of no return!!.I will pay you 500 gold and one free sword, axe or staff for her return", or "...". Now a FPS NPC might say
"Wait do not shoot me like the 250 other guys before me I have info you might want".
A platformer NPC will just say "sorry the princess is in an other castle".