What would you say if you were an NPC?

[(whitty name here)]

Are you Level 50 yet? No? Have fun on the next level you protagonist asshole!
Or
The Princess is in another Castle
Or
The secret exit that you always find at the end of the dungeon to bring you back to the entrance is over here
or
Im story related so you cant kill me, but I can kill you so DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME

 

[Urgh76]

"why of course my lad, you can find such a herb at the town of moonwall pass"

 

[michael_ab]

"i cast magic missile into the darkness!"

and in any jrpg:
"sooo...... are you a man or a woman?"
"i just dont know"

"mothers coming for me in the dragon ships. i dont like these itchy clothes, but i have to wear them or it frightens the fish"

 

[TheFacelessOne]

"Someone program me out of this spot!"

 

[Melion]

I would be a police NPC in Champions Online.

"I have this gun yet I have no idea how to shoot. Becuase of that, I will give you a mission to kill 20 (random bandits). Have fun!"

 

[Lazy Kitty]

"Your health is low. Do you have any potions... Or Food?"

 

[Canadamus Prime]

"Press 'X' to hear me say another random and completely irrelevant line."

 

[General Ken8]

"Who farted?"
I would be a legend of internet forums involving this game, for this reason

 

[Emperor Inferno]

"Hello, my friend. Stay a while, and listen."

(cookie for whoever gets the old thread referenced here)

 

[hazakura]

If I was in Half-life 2.
"Reload Dr.Freeman!"
Or
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Unit down at stock code: victor 8, all units respond. Hehe...combine rule."

Oblivion:
"Hey! your that guy who beats people to death and then loots thier dead body, high five!"

Any other game: "Dude....This is the matrix,don't kill me,man!"

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

A few things actually

"The cave entrance is frozen solid, use the Fire Staff!"

"Press X to not die"

"I am Error"

"Bring me twenty ogre teeth and I shall reward you"

"I used to be a dog, got better though, not a better dog, I'm a terrible dog"

 

[CompanionCube]

"I'll buy your goods!"

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

"I saw a mudcrab down by the water recently..."

"Nasty buggers, the meat's good though"

 

[Daedalus1942]

"Ooh.. My back is not what it used to be. Excuse me kind lady, would you mind going into my garden out back and picking a few Bomaderry Apples? I need ten for the pie I'm baking and I'll pay you handsomely?"
"Accept Quest"
Decline Quest"
(what I don't mention is the Giant Brown Bear lurking at the bottom who has an affinity towards my special tasting apples).

 

[Daedalus1942]

NPC in Half-Life
"Minor Fracture detected"

 

[Daedalus1942]

"Hello, my friend. Stay a while, and listen."

(cookie for whoever gets the old thread referenced here)

Diablo II I do believe... I can't for the life of me remember who though. Cain?

 

[DrDeath3191]

Did you know that you need to breathe in order to live?

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

Before anyone says - "Press B to jump". Take that!

An actual answer: "Hey,kind sir,would you mind visiting my litlle shop? Ooh,you are saving the world?! I'll give you a discount!"

One way to be happy is to make others happy. Or mess with them,as i just did by ninjaing everyone.

Damn, I was gonna say "press B to jump".

OT:

To Wizards I would say "Where's your monocle?!"

To everyone else I would say "Hows it going, mighty lumberjack!"

 

[Emperor Inferno]

"Hello, my friend. Stay a while, and listen."

(cookie for whoever gets the old thread referenced here)

Diablo II I do believe... I can't for the life of me remember who though. Cain?

Not game, thread. Yes, you're right, though. Well, almost. He said different things in DII, it was in the first one he always said that exact same thing.

But no, I'm talking about an old thread on this forum, one that was locked months ago...