What's the funniest video game line ever?

[A Weary Exile]

"DO A BARREL ROLL!!"
~Peppy Hare

or

"Wahay! You just beat your total note score!"
~Goggles the Mole, Banjo-Kazooie

Who the hell says 'Wahay'?

 

[ShankHA32]

You require more vespene gas.

You must construct additional pylons.

"Drop your weapons you have 30 seconds to comply" - Protoss Dragoon

"This is not Warcraft in space!"
"Its much more sophisticated than that!" -Artanis

 

[ShankHA32]

"Have you seen how fast these zombies are running? Shouldn't they be slow? I'm calling zombie bullshit on this!"
-Zoey, Left 4 Dead.

Oh Zoey, will your wit never cease?

"I think this MIGHT be more luggage than usual..." -Zoey

 

[Mirrorknight]

Monkey Island 3, when you grab Murry's arm.

Murry: Hey! That's MY arm! Give it back!
Guybrush: What would you do with your arm if I gave it back?
Murry: (something to the effect of) I would slaughter countless innocents, I would cause untold chaos, I would....er...uh I mean I would use it to pet kittens.
Guybrush: Ha, too late. I'm not giving it back now.
Murry: Curses!

 

[aebonhawk]

Who can forget "all your bases r belong to us."

 

[Icehearted]

I'm surprised nobody's tapping into some bad translating.
"A winner is you" -Pro Wrestling
"All your base are belong to us" -Zero Wing
"Shine Get!" -Super Mario Sunshine
"Here's a lock-pick. It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you." -resident Evil

Has to be gobs more I'm not remembering.

 

[(Insert name hear)]

"What if it snowed in San Francisco?"

It took this long to get that quote out of the way?

 

[alen456645]

LOOT ZE HOUNDS

 

[xXDoctor OctagonapusXx]

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! - Need I say more?

 

[Cthulu2]

"You shoot a woman in the groin. She takes it like a man. In other words, it really hurts."
- Fallout 2

 

[Mosstromo]

One line I really like comes from an obscure and farcical Spanish video game called Torrente (hyperlinks: English [http://www.fxinteractive.com/p052/p052.htm]). Torrente is a very decadent and corrupt ex-cop that finds himself working as a private detective.

"Someone's got to do the dirty work, and no one's dirtier than Torrente".


Sadly that line is the best part of the game.

 

[UnearthedArcana]

I, Garland, WILL KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN.

 

[mstieler]

"From what I can gather, they're either planning to 'eat the blue skins and take their village' or bake a blueberry pie. It really could go either way." - Huntress Bintook, WoW

and as for Psychonauts:

 

[slyeye]

"I got this scar after a fierce battle!" "Well maybe now you'll learn to stop picking your nose!"

The Secret of Monkey Island - during a pirate fight

 

[Lonely Swordsman]

Not that funny of a line itself, but the accent and the acting make sit so bad it's hilarious:

SPESS MEREENS! WE HAVE FAILED DE EMPERAH!

 

[KaiRai]

"You can DIE in combat"

Army Of Two?

My fave was MGS2 in that little room where you see Snake in Arsenal gear.

"Oh, I refilled all your weapons"
"How did you do that?"
*Snake points to his bandanna*
"Infinite ammo"

I was loling for ages.

 

[KaiRai]

Price "We're meeting up with Kamarov and his men"
Gaz "Are those the good Russians or the bad ones sir?"
Price "Well they wont shoot you on sight if thats what you're asking"
That and
Price "Gaz open the door now!"
*Door starts opening slowly*
Price "Your joking? Cant you make it go any faster!?"
Gaz "Well you could pull on it on if it makes you fell better"
Price "Cheeky Bugger"

"The helicopter will be here in 30 minutes sir"
"No good, we'll be corpses for 10 minutes by then"

 

[Dread Pirate Pete]

?That's the second biggest monkey head I've ever seen!? ? Guybrush, about the giant stone monkey head on Monkey Island.

Or maby:

Meathook: You've got a real attitude problem!
Guybrush: Well...you've got a real hair problem!
Meathook: You just don't know when to quit, do you?
Guybrush: Neither did your barber.

Or:

Librarian: Guybrush? Is that a French name?
Guybrush: No, actually it?s a fictional name.

All great

 

[Dread Pirate Pete]

Also (again from the monkeys island games):

Haggis McMutton: Well, Haggis is only my nickname. My true name is ?Heart Lungs And Liver Boiled In The Stomach Of The Animal McMutton?.
Guybrush: Oh, so your parents were expecting a girl.
Haggis: Aye.