What's the funniest video game line ever?
- Thread starter Dude wheres my companion cube
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Resident Evil One.
Barry - WOAAAAAH this hall is DANGEROUS. There MUST be a back door SOMEWHERE, lets try to find IT first shall we? JUST A MOMENT! I've found something, its a WEAPON its REALLY powerful especially against LIVING things.
BEST VOICE ACTING EVER
Barry - WOAAAAAH this hall is DANGEROUS. There MUST be a back door SOMEWHERE, lets try to find IT first shall we? JUST A MOMENT! I've found something, its a WEAPON its REALLY powerful especially against LIVING things.
BEST VOICE ACTING EVER
"Yes, the door is indeed 'big'. Now, are you here for any reason, or just to state the obvious?"
-templar gaurd in Circle Tower, Mage Origins, Dragon Age. (After my mage made the comment that the exit door is large...)
-templar gaurd in Circle Tower, Mage Origins, Dragon Age. (After my mage made the comment that the exit door is large...)
Every single line from Portal.
Cake, followed by grief counseling, will be available at the end of the testing period.
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye" and you were like "No way!" And then I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you?" That was great!
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true!
Remember, the Aperture Science 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day' is the perfect time to have her tested.
Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel and teeth.
Unbelievable. You, **subject name here** must be the pride of **subject hometown here**.
You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is...Ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact: The Device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in *subject hometown here*.
Have I lied to you?... I mean, in this room?
Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends, because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned." Shall NOT be mourned. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny, too.
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.
That thing is probably a waste container, go ahead and rub it all over your face.
That thing you burned up isn't important to me, it's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans... nice job breaking it, hero.
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees kelvin. Best assured, that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in that Aperture Science Enrichment activity. Goodbye!
Cake, followed by grief counseling, will be available at the end of the testing period.
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye" and you were like "No way!" And then I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you?" That was great!
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true!
Remember, the Aperture Science 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day' is the perfect time to have her tested.
Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel and teeth.
Unbelievable. You, **subject name here** must be the pride of **subject hometown here**.
You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is...Ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact: The Device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in *subject hometown here*.
Have I lied to you?... I mean, in this room?
Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends, because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned." Shall NOT be mourned. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny, too.
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.
That thing is probably a waste container, go ahead and rub it all over your face.
That thing you burned up isn't important to me, it's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans... nice job breaking it, hero.
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees kelvin. Best assured, that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in that Aperture Science Enrichment activity. Goodbye!
Augustus Cole: Yeah! Wooo! Bring it on, sucka! This is my kinda shit!
Marcus Fenix: Control, could you give us Delta Two's location?
Anya: GID readings are faint. Looks like... the sewer system?
Damon Baird: There's shit everywhere!
Augustus Cole: C'mon, Baird! A little bit of this is good for you! Builds your immune system.
Damon Baird: Yeah, it also builds disease. Delta Two out.
Dominic Santiago: ...No way.
Marcus Fenix: Sucks to be them.
almost every line Gears of War was so corny, yet so funny. Like a B-rated 80's action movie.
Marcus Fenix: Control, could you give us Delta Two's location?
Anya: GID readings are faint. Looks like... the sewer system?
Damon Baird: There's shit everywhere!
Augustus Cole: C'mon, Baird! A little bit of this is good for you! Builds your immune system.
Damon Baird: Yeah, it also builds disease. Delta Two out.
Dominic Santiago: ...No way.
Marcus Fenix: Sucks to be them.
almost every line Gears of War was so corny, yet so funny. Like a B-rated 80's action movie.
"I don't know what that was, but I don't care!" - enemies in FarCry would say that if they were investigating you're location but didn't find you and gave up, I found it extremely comical when someone would use that line after I shot them.
Almost any line from Resident Evil 1 as well.
Almost any line from Resident Evil 1 as well.
"Hey guys I found a candy bar! Oh wait - false alarm."
Ellis, (L4D2,) walking through a sewer.
More from L4D2:
Nick: "Great! This swamp water will stain my white suit!"
Rochelle: "You mean the one covered in zombie brains? That white suit?"
Nick: "Look, brains come out, swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that."
Also the Kieth stories are pretty good.
Ellis, (L4D2,) walking through a sewer.
More from L4D2:
Nick: "Great! This swamp water will stain my white suit!"
Rochelle: "You mean the one covered in zombie brains? That white suit?"
Nick: "Look, brains come out, swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that."
Also the Kieth stories are pretty good.
"We're going deep and we're going hard
Surely, you can't be serious?
I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley."
---
"Tedi 1: Really, that's incredible...
Tedi 2: I mean, what if you were to give this game say... twenty intelligent people, honestly, what would that do? You see, what would that do?
Tedi 1: Yes, that's very interesting...
[Conker comes in with machine guns]
Tedi 2: What the fuck? It's that bloody squirrel! Quick! Get into character!
[Tediz make mindless snarling noises]"
"Gregg: Conker! Conker! Conker! Yes you, boy! You're dead! You are dead! Dead as a do... dead as a... I can't be arsed with this bloody, ridiculous contraption! Whose idea was this anyway? (pause) Right... hello... um... my name's Gregg... the Grim Reaper, and don't laugh!
Conker: Aren't you a little short to be a Grim Reaper?
Gregg: Well, how many Grim Reapers have you met before, mate? Well, what am I supposed to look like?
Conker: Yeah... that's a good point, and well made.
Gregg: Now... let's see... ah yes, Conker. Surname?
Conker: The Squirrel.
Gregg: The Squirrel... the... oh bloody hell, you would have to be a sodding squirrel, wouldn't you?
Conker: Why? Is there a problem with that?
Gregg: Well yes there is, actually! It's like those bloody cats! Such a pain in the arse! You're one of these special cases!
Conker: Oh really!
Gregg: Yes! Apparently, according to the powers that be... I'm just doing my job. I do what I'm told, and don't even get paid very much. Apprently, squirrels can have as many lives as they think they can get away with!
Conker: Oh, I see! So I'm not dead!
Gregg: You're dead, but not quite.
Conker: Huh! Right! I'll be off then!
Gregg: Tsuh! Just you wait, smartarse! You don't get out of that easily. Now, the thing is, you may not be dead, but that doesn't mean you can't die. You just have a few more, shall we say, chances. Yeah. Like cats! I hate those things! Right! Distributed around your little world are these tail things! Squirrels' tails. If you can get them, I'll give you an extra chance, understand?
Conker: Um... well... sounds a bit strange, but okay.
Gregg: Strange? It's the best bloody deal you're going to get, you little prick! Right! That's it! Piss off! I've got some cats to see! Bloody things... I hate those bloody cats... the way they meow and they piss everywhere... and their shit smells just bloody awful..."
:')
Surely, you can't be serious?
I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley."
---
"Tedi 1: Really, that's incredible...
Tedi 2: I mean, what if you were to give this game say... twenty intelligent people, honestly, what would that do? You see, what would that do?
Tedi 1: Yes, that's very interesting...
[Conker comes in with machine guns]
Tedi 2: What the fuck? It's that bloody squirrel! Quick! Get into character!
[Tediz make mindless snarling noises]"
"Gregg: Conker! Conker! Conker! Yes you, boy! You're dead! You are dead! Dead as a do... dead as a... I can't be arsed with this bloody, ridiculous contraption! Whose idea was this anyway? (pause) Right... hello... um... my name's Gregg... the Grim Reaper, and don't laugh!
Conker: Aren't you a little short to be a Grim Reaper?
Gregg: Well, how many Grim Reapers have you met before, mate? Well, what am I supposed to look like?
Conker: Yeah... that's a good point, and well made.
Gregg: Now... let's see... ah yes, Conker. Surname?
Conker: The Squirrel.
Gregg: The Squirrel... the... oh bloody hell, you would have to be a sodding squirrel, wouldn't you?
Conker: Why? Is there a problem with that?
Gregg: Well yes there is, actually! It's like those bloody cats! Such a pain in the arse! You're one of these special cases!
Conker: Oh really!
Gregg: Yes! Apparently, according to the powers that be... I'm just doing my job. I do what I'm told, and don't even get paid very much. Apprently, squirrels can have as many lives as they think they can get away with!
Conker: Oh, I see! So I'm not dead!
Gregg: You're dead, but not quite.
Conker: Huh! Right! I'll be off then!
Gregg: Tsuh! Just you wait, smartarse! You don't get out of that easily. Now, the thing is, you may not be dead, but that doesn't mean you can't die. You just have a few more, shall we say, chances. Yeah. Like cats! I hate those things! Right! Distributed around your little world are these tail things! Squirrels' tails. If you can get them, I'll give you an extra chance, understand?
Conker: Um... well... sounds a bit strange, but okay.
Gregg: Strange? It's the best bloody deal you're going to get, you little prick! Right! That's it! Piss off! I've got some cats to see! Bloody things... I hate those bloody cats... the way they meow and they piss everywhere... and their shit smells just bloody awful..."
:')
Zombie thread is a zombie.
OT: Mass Effect 2
The entire conversation where Mordin either gives sex advice, or is under the impression that you want to have gay alien sex with him (depending on where you are in a romance subplot with a character).
The FemShep playthrough, romancing Garrus was the best:
Shepard: Any advice?
Mordin: Turians and humans have different amino acids; contact with bodily fluids can cause allergic reactions, anaphylactic shock. So try not to... ingest.
Translation: DON'T BLOW HIM!
OT: Mass Effect 2
The entire conversation where Mordin either gives sex advice, or is under the impression that you want to have gay alien sex with him (depending on where you are in a romance subplot with a character).
The FemShep playthrough, romancing Garrus was the best:
Shepard: Any advice?
Mordin: Turians and humans have different amino acids; contact with bodily fluids can cause allergic reactions, anaphylactic shock. So try not to... ingest.
Translation: DON'T BLOW HIM!