When is it time to grow up?

[DaedalusIcarus]

#0

I think you'll find that as you *do* grow up and go on to do greater things, you'll understand that there's almost never a point at which a person will perceive themselves as adults.

There's no one point in life where you've attained all you need to and you'll most certainly find that any adult can be as petty, short-sighted and intellectually stupid as any teenager.
Deep down, there's a lot of "adult" people who haven't progressed much from where you are now. Growing up is, as someone said before, a matter of finding your identity.

When I was your age*, I too was busy trying to grow up, and I think you'll find most people on this forum recognize a time where they felt the same. What I want to say is; it's a phase, cheer up!

Most people aren't able to reflect on their own situation, you do. That alone makes you a lot more grown up than a lot of people around you. If you're unhappy with the way your life is progressing, then figure out what you want from life and make the necessary changes required to get it.
But please, never let society dictate the terms.
Don't just take someone else's dream and make it your own ( the standard being a house in the suburbs, a good job, loving wife and a wonderful child) - because waking up at seventy and realizing this isn't what you wanted from life is the only true mistake you can make.

 

[Cortheya]

4)Doing poorly in school? Let me guess, no homework and studying? Do that first when you get home, make a habit of it, then you have the rest of te night to game! It's a feeling so amazing when you sit down knowing you have nothing else you need to do.

I agree....every day I sit down with some Stargate on Hulu and do my Biology homework. Then, its WOW time....

 

[mokes310]

well my fellow gamers today i cancelled my xbox live accounts...

You answered your own question in the first sentance.

 

[DaMan1500]

I don't think video games are immature. My next door neibor is 50 something and still plays with model trains, but he's married and has kids and is pretty well off financially. Pretty much anything's bad for you if you do it too much. I don't think giving up games in and of itself, though it may be benefiting your grades and social life, is really growing up.

 

[Standby]

You've had to stop doing things you enjoy? Congrats you are now an adult!

 

[esperandote]

if you were doing bad at school you needed to do something but yeah that's a little too much, on the other hand if you thought you didnt have the will to play just a little then i guess that was the only thing to do. and dont worry about not having a girlfriend at 16 most gamers(geeks) like me start having girlfriends at 17.

 

[Cavouku]

Your actions do not determine your maturity. Your handling of those actions, and the situations they get you in, show your maturity.

Off the top of my head.

 

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life]

You don't "grow out" of other forms of entertainment, but if your grades and social life are in shambles, then yeah, you have some work to do. Just get into a groove. Do your more important activities (according to Maslow's Hierarchy), and if you don't have time for games, there's always tomorrow. And...

Maybe Tomorrow, I'll wanna settle down.
Until Tomorrow, I'll just keep movin' on.

 

[skcseth]

I think it's a great (big) step in the right direction. You recognized you had a problem, and dealt with it. I wouldn't give up gaming entirely, unless of course you feel it's an addiction.
To answer your question, there is no specific time to grow up. I realized it was time for me to grow up last night when I realized I'm done with college and leaving all my friends behind for the Air Force in a few months. On the other hand, I have friends who realized it was their time to grow up when they were thirty years old, with the resume of a seventeen year old. It all depends on the mindset of the individual.
For those of you who say the OP overreacted, is correcting an addiction really an overreaction? I think if you play video games 24/7 (or at least to the point where it interferes with school / work / a social life), then yes there is a problem. And yes, there are different ways to deal with problems, but the OP chose the way that is best for him. I don't think that video games and maturity have a direct correlation (as in playing video games = immaturity), but I do think there is a time and place for everything. When you realize games are getting in the way of other, more important things, it takes a mature individual to prioritize.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Well, Maturity comes in different forms, I guess. Though I've never even considered dropping gaming. It's as much a catharsis as anything else, and it's a fantastic way to relieve stress, have fun with some friends after work, and even a great way to hang with a significant other, but you have to know when to put them down. If you spend the whole day before a test or presentation playing games when you could be studying or preparing, then you have to be prepared for the consequences. Though, you seem up to that, but you just have to pace yourself, friend. It's less about growing up, and more about becoming more responsible with your time.

 

[axia777]

Being an adult to me means doing things I don't want to do so I can do lots of things I couldn't do with out money and success.

 

[Xanadu84]

The biggest concern for me is the scapegoat effect: Don't think that you can assign your problems to video games, and make them go away by getting rid of them. In my experience, playing too many video games is a symptom, not a disease. Cutting back on games for a while, or even permanently, may be something that you need to do right now, but there not a cause. Do what you need to do to get back on track, work hard, and decide what you want to do later. Growing up does not involve dropping video games. Growing up involves doing the hard things you need to do, and dropping video games might be a small part of that, for you, at this time. And good luck.

Also, don't be to hard on yourself. Your still a kid, and the fact that your taking responsibility for yourself bodes well for you. You will be fine. And don't feel bad about not having a girlfriend, since I know that that can be a particularly irritating fact. It just happens sometimes, to some people, and it is just luck and timing, its says nothing bad about you. Im 25 myself. I have my Bachelors degree, a job, and am supporting myself. And I haven't ever had a girlfriend. More like ive had cesspools of social angst and self-esteem destruction that haunt my every waking moment until I drag myself kicking and screaming away, and surreal star crossed lover moments that mostly just serve to mock me with what might have been. It happens. Don't worry. Dealing with the romantic bullshit is hard enough without judging yourself for it.

 

[happysock]

Growing up has little if nothing to do with the activities you choose to distract yourself.

Unless your favourite activity is playing in ball ponds.

 

[Frankydee]

That is a bit over the top.

But yea I can sympathize. I was addicted to an MMO until about sometime last February, and giving that up was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but I found it necessary because it was interfering with my grades by taking up my time between classes and work and keeping me up all night. At the time I didn't have my priorities straight and I didn't really care much.

Nowadays I stick to console gaming to pass the time when I REALLY don't have anything better to do. Having been an avid gamer since I was 4 (22 now), I've felt the effects and repercussions associated with being irresponsible with my time. It's really just a matter of knowing what you should be doing and doing them. There will be time to slack off once in awhile but just don't get in over your head about it.

Incidentally I just registered for my fall classes today and am having to retake an English class I totally bombed (mostly due to my MMO addiction). Cost: $400+ tuition/various bullshit fees + 60 bucks for the book.

 

[LoH_Mobius]

maybe don't have gaming be your only hobby, then its harder to get wrapped up in it, try for a pseudo-educational hobby...like historical reenacting...or something of that sort, volunteering, stuff like that...until I was 17 i barely left my room...i ONLY watched anime and played video games...
and don't pressure yourself to grow up...its not as much fun as you would think sometimes

 

[Foxbat Flyer]

i was the same by the sounds of it, gaming alot and not many friends, but once you find people who can relate to you then everything just falls into place... also finding another hobby to share the spare time with is good, i took up flying planes and am loving it. i now work on computers all day and i get straight back onto them when i get home and game. i play for about 6 hours a day and i am still achieving well with my tafe and my work. i have alot of friends and feel happy with my self... its all about managing your self...

When i was doing my final exams in school, i played HL2 Episode 2 the whole day before my english exam and i still managed to pass, therefore it is possible to game and do well at school/work/Uni

 

[Lord Thodin]

You basically overreacted.
You can game as an adult, it's not something you have to give up. Besides, you're from the U.S. No one expects you to do anything until after you turn 18 anyways.

not true at 18 the goverment expects you to sign up to the army and be killed in yet another pointless war.

I lold. Im from america by the by

 

[Lord Thodin]

SNIP

OP I know how you feel. With the exception of the grades, and the canceling XBox live, and the Girlfriend thing, and the job thing, i can relate. Gaming is enjoyable, pleasurable, and a necessity. A day without gaming isnt a day worth living for me. Now that may be addicted but who cares. Theres not a day that goes by when im not playing a game. Im your age, and started gaming only a year before you did. I never had the new releases, but the games I did have i played non stop and without a moments pause. From a young age gaming has become a part of who i am. When people are introduced to me, the person giving the introduction states how much of a basement dwelling freak i happen to be. I would like to state how you might have overreacted when you canceled your Live accounts. Not that it was a rash decision to "grow up" but that I love XBL and woulda added you. You need to go read Republic by Plato. Its about morality on the surface, but when you delve deep enough its about how everything should be done in moderation. Hey i will admit that in a normal 24 hour day about 14 hours goes to gaming, but when I have to go to work i go to work. Hell if your like me just get a job to support your gaming habits, and for buying games. It will also introduce you to new people. That fixes your job, and possibly your girlfriend problem. As a fellow gaming addict, dont give up your addiction, just slow it down a bit and take it in moderation.