Why do so many guys here suck at talking to or doing pretty much anything with girls?
- Thread starter President Moocow
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I recently was out with a male friend of mine, and ran into an old female friend, from High School. After a few minutes of catching up, and getting her number, he looked at me, and said 'how did you do that?' I was surprised. But, judging by a few of the responses I'm seeing here, it seems it's not all that uncommon.
I have no issue talking to anyone, of either gender (or both...good party) and because of this, I cannot fairly judge how hard it is for the people who do have trouble with it.
I have no issue talking to anyone, of either gender (or both...good party) and because of this, I cannot fairly judge how hard it is for the people who do have trouble with it.
Okay here's the real reason. The reason is because people who find it difficult to cope in social situations need some sort of entertainment. The internet and video games are a perfect way for people like that getting away from life and pretending to be someone who they aren't. It's also harder to judge someone over the internet and therefore they feel safer from the society they are mingling with. It's not games or anything that cause people to become socially awkward, it's already socially awkward people being attracted to video games.
/knowledge.
/knowledge.
Girls are just plain difficult. It is difficult to talk to them, but it is not impossible. They can be intimidating to some, they still kinda are for me, but the guys who claim to be too geeky just need to get over their stigma and just make an attempt at interacting with them. Girls might be unpredictable, but they aren't aliens who are impossible to understand, well for the most part anyway. The best advice I have ever received regarding girls came from an expert on the subject: Just go and talk to them, there's nothing to be afraid of, we all aren't that mean.
Well, I don't see where the discussion is, if you plain out do not want to hear our opinions or arguments. I can't speak for anyone here but myself, but I don't talk to girls mainly out of spite(and I'm not just basing this argument off the girls in my college (although that is a pretty big demographic)), I simply find the women I've run into to apparently be cut from the same piece of pink hypocritical paper (group into which I include my female family members (in fact, all my family members).President Moocow said:
I won't ever get laid? True, I won't, but so long as I don't have to stick up with the emotional side of women, I'm guud
That we're gamers doesn't explain why the majority of us have problems talking to women. From my experience, I didn't have problems talking to girls/women in general. Where the problem lay was when trying to talk to a woman *that I was interested in.* Keep in mind, I'm almost 30 and married for 3 years now, and I've grown out of the terror from talking to girls.
Casual social context is actually pretty easy for most geeks that I know. It's when you toss in attraction that things change in the subject's mind. The key is to realize that nothing's changed with the environment - it's all perception.
Casual social context is actually pretty easy for most geeks that I know. It's when you toss in attraction that things change in the subject's mind. The key is to realize that nothing's changed with the environment - it's all perception.
I'm right there with you, personal experience and I've seen it happen about a hundred times.Nickolai77 said:
Some of these posts are making me feel like I've been extremely blessed. The girls I attract somehow don't want to play any "social game" aside from meeting some of their friends, most of which the girls don't care if I like or not. In fact, my last girlfriend loved the fact that I found three of her friends unbearable. Of course, that girl just liked to listen to me angrily rant about anything.
In college, I was in a gaming club. I went to a women's college, but one year the club decided to hold an annual event: Get Your Geek On, a geek dance party! For once, a dance at my school probably had more/at least an equal ratio of men to women. But you know what? Everyone was fucking awkward. Geek women too afraid to approach geek men, and vice versa. So it is not just guys.
That actually kind of makes sense.esperandote said:
I have two sisters, both older, and never had girl talking issues.
Although...my best friend also never had girl talking issues (He was far more a ladies man then I ever was) and he didn't have any sisters...though he had a lot of cousins close by who were girls...maybe that counts? I don't know.
Sort of makes sense on the surface, though.[/quote]
Growing up I lived with my mom and my two older sisters (who always had they girl-friends around) and I've always been quite smooth talkin to girls, however my friend who has grown up in a house with just his mom and his bro, isn't the most amazing girl-chatter-upper ever (but of course he's way better looking than me, so he get's a few more than I usualy do, because he's got that shy mysterious thing goin on)
I honestly think what esperandote is true. Maybe we just get use to how girls think, maybe we're just more comfortable with girls because we've been around them so much, or, in my case, we've had to watch so many chick flicks with our sisters that we know what to say that makes girls go "awwww"
Guys who have sisters probably have an easier time talking to girls then guy's who don't, at least there's a pretty clear connection, I think.
Well, the firs thing that comes to mind is age/maturity level. And they are two different, yet related things. This says nothing about video games, though. Its not how you act with your friends or anything like that. This maturity is the ability to take a look at oneself and examine past relationships, crushes, flings; and find the common threads holding them together... or tearing them apart.
Honestly, though, I've heard this from both guys and girls! The first thing that I always ask is what kind of people are you attracted to? Sometimes, people fall in love with an Ideal Mate, that can be rather estranged from reality. I work with a girl who will "only date thugs" because she likes that.... well, I'm not sure what she finds so attractive about 'gangstas' to tell you the truth. However, she's been cheated on by her last 3 boyfriends. I say, try stepping out of that particular social circle. Oivey, if she would just come and play a night's worth of D&D with me, I could hook her up! "No," she says, "thats not my kind of guy." I replied, "exactly." To put it bluntly, she really needs to think outside of her box. Why has she placed such strict boundries on what she considers to be boyfriend material? Why is she limiting herself?
Honestly, though, I've heard this from both guys and girls! The first thing that I always ask is what kind of people are you attracted to? Sometimes, people fall in love with an Ideal Mate, that can be rather estranged from reality. I work with a girl who will "only date thugs" because she likes that.... well, I'm not sure what she finds so attractive about 'gangstas' to tell you the truth. However, she's been cheated on by her last 3 boyfriends. I say, try stepping out of that particular social circle. Oivey, if she would just come and play a night's worth of D&D with me, I could hook her up! "No," she says, "thats not my kind of guy." I replied, "exactly." To put it bluntly, she really needs to think outside of her box. Why has she placed such strict boundries on what she considers to be boyfriend material? Why is she limiting herself?
You're kinda taking an unfair stab at girls, while trying to defend boys.Froobyx said:
It rather defeats your reply.
If you want to blame someone or anything, blame society and how it labels people, plus how it treats people within that label.
In most situations, it's more acceptable for a male to be a nerd/gamer/geek than a female.
Many nerds/geeks/gamers also seem very ready to fit the stereotype that they are associated with, instead of doing something to prove otherwise.
Girl gamers/nerds/geeks can be just as shy and socially awkward as their male counterparts (and usually are).
Being a male gamer is rather similar to being a female gamer. If you think talking to a guy about games when they have little to no interest in them is any different for a girl, you're sadly mistaken. The only perk to being a girl gamer, or nerd/geek, is that there are so many males that share the same interests.
Besides, interests with a person should really extend to more than just games or if they are a gamer/nerd/geek like you are. It's a nice perk, but interests should go beyond that.
Anyway, to respond to the OP, social stigma.
