Why do we Have Fetishes?

[Kilo24]

I'd guess that a significant contributor of it is that it is so socially conflicted. Teenagers tend to go into puberty with huge amounts of conflicting information from peers, the media, parents, and whatever else and as such develop their tastes in highly unpredictable circumstances. After that, it gets a bit simpler, but only a bit - sex is still damn contentious but not openly spoken about in many circles.
Combined with the basic drive for sex (which means that nearly everyone has a desire to participate in it) with the highly unpredictable yet nominally repressed social view of it, you get a smorgasbord of of potential associations that people pick up on, and base their fetishes off of mostly subconsciously.

 

[Dys]

People have different fetishes for different reasons. Someone who is into domination and Master slave stuff has obvious submissive or dominant personality traits, a whole lot of fetish activity is releated to the balance of power within a relationship.

Of course, something like, say, a foot fetish has very little to do the power in a relationship. That's a bit like asking why some guys prefer a nice ass to big tits, or why some girls like guys with big shoulders when others are more fascinated by their abs. It's just an attraction to physical traits of whatever gender you find attractive.

 

[Dusty Donuts]

The Italian language usually reduces me to mush. I don't know why, it just does. Not exactly sexual but I don't exactly have experience in that area.

Che? Tu sei va bene, ma questo, io ho paura!
(What? You are okay, but this, I have fear!)
((I have to say "I have fear" It's a rule in Italian, and it's the English equivalent of, "I'm scared"))
(((I just had to show off, sorry)))
Also, it's something to do with the personality and DNA alignment and Genes etc.
Think of phobias.

 

[Aesir23]

The Italian language usually reduces me to mush. I don't know why, it just does. Not exactly sexual but I don't exactly have experience in that area.

Che? Tu sei va bene, ma questo, io ho paura!
(What? You are okay, but this, I have fear!)
((I have to say "I have fear" It's a rule in Italian, and it's the English equivalent of, "I'm scared"))
(((I just had to show off, sorry)))
Also, it's something to do with the personality and DNA alignment and Genes etc.
Think of phobias.

Curse you people, using Italian against me. Have you no mercy!?

(Np. Showing off is fun at times. )

 

[Dusty Donuts]

The Italian language usually reduces me to mush. I don't know why, it just does. Not exactly sexual but I don't exactly have experience in that area.

Che? Tu sei va bene, ma questo, io ho paura!
(What? You are okay, but this, I have fear!)
((I have to say "I have fear" It's a rule in Italian, and it's the English equivalent of, "I'm scared"))
(((I just had to show off, sorry)))
Also, it's something to do with the personality and DNA alignment and Genes etc.
Think of phobias.

Curse you people, using Italian against me. Have you no mercy!?

(Np. Showing off is fun at times. )

I can imagine you, trying in futile attempts to press the keys through your mushy fingers.
What? You said you'd turn to mush? ...
Oh, it was a figure of speech. Anyway, I have a fetish for fetishes for fetishes for fetishes about nothing. It's never actually come up, but I know it'll be around sometime...

 

[Dusty Donuts]

The Italian language usually reduces me to mush. I don't know why, it just does. Not exactly sexual but I don't exactly have experience in that area.

Ciao! Sono Bella
(Hi! I am Beautiful.

NO! You have to use four words or more or it doesn't work!
Ciao, tu stupido asino. A mia casa, noi gioco sempre! Noi gioco oggi, gioco domani, gioco sempre! Ma, tu non gioco. HA HA HA

 

[Akai Shizuku]

I do not, never have, and never will understand fetish.

 

[rapidoud]

foot fetish is not technically a fetish and fetish is not just something you like sexually, go look up the real meaning everyone before replying to this thread

 

[FleaJr]

As far as my reading on the subject goes, It's an association thing.

The mind is not an entirely rational being, especially when in an aroused state, this can lead to situations in which, when a person is sexually aroused, the mind will pull a contextual item or concept out of the situation and provide it as a reason for the arousal.

As far as I can tell it works on the same basis of irrational fears.
Irrational fears tend to arise through particularly unpleasant experiences but often the subject of the irrational fear is not the cause of the unpleasantness.

Let me provide an example:
If you were buried alive (just for a bit) and somehow managed to survive the encounter, you may well be suitably mentally scarred, Your mind may at this point, in the irrational state of fear, notice that there are some worms crawling about down there and may affix the concept of worms to the concept of being buried alive.

So next time you saw worms, in some cases your subconscious would be reverted to that irrational state and hence we see the effect of irrational fear.

Flip that on it's head, perhaps you will find your answer.

 

[Caligulove]

i think we do it to make things more diverse and more interesting and to stimulate our sex drive when we really cannot get things going or it just isnt thrilling you anymore.

Personally, I have a fetish for red-head girls. I dont solely seek out Red Heads... but theres something about a hot red head thats just... so much sexier than any other woman.

that, and legs... its all really weird and unexplainable

 

[Lord George]

BDSM is quite a lot of fun, but I think people do it for different reasons comapred to other fetish which seem to be due to association, where BDSM is more linked to having too little or too much power and responsibility in everyday life, and so is a healthy way of releasing frustrations or letting go of responsibility's.

 

[Altorin]

The Italian language usually reduces me to mush. I don't know why, it just does. Not exactly sexual but I don't exactly have experience in that area.

Boppity Boopity?

BIPPITY BOPPITY BOOPITY!

 

[Lemon Of Life]

I'm 15, and I don't understand fetishes. Maybe I'm too young to have developed one or something, but I can't understand how someone can get a hard-on over feet or hands.

 

[Altorin]

I'm 15, and I don't understand fetishes. Maybe I'm too young to have developed one or something, but I can't understand how someone can get a hard-on over feet or hands.

It's easy enough to if that foot or hand is attached to a hot chick.

 

[samanthavick]

The pregnant woman thing is pretty obvious, she's very clearly fertile and men are hardwired to find signs of fertility attractive. It's the same reason that straight, white teeth, shiny hair, good skin, clear eyes and nice breasts are classical measures of attractiveness: they all imply that this person will make a suitable sexual partner and will probably be successful in passing on genetic information.
As for fetishes, I feel like they're a luxury that's developed since humans progressed beyond the point of having to procreate frantically to survive, and has allowed us to specialize, the same way that not everyone has to be a subsistence farmer anymore. Or perhaps it's a way so that even people who don't exhibit the usual signs of attractiveness, but have, say, really nice feet, can still find a mate.
Of course, a person's specific fetish is individual and often has its origin in childhood, with the whole Freudian notion that a child will grow up to prefer a partner similar to his/her opposite sex parent. But honestly, the human mind is way too complex to apply Freud's simple theories.
There's been some really good discussion on this so far. This is why I love Escapist- most any other site would have turned this into dick jokes long ago.

 

[Puzzles]

I only like sex when it's really rough, hooked up with a guy last night who whipped me with his belt after he took it off, made me start thinking about S&M stuff but I don't know if i could go that far. I love internet anonymity.

Rough sex fits my personality/view on sex/men/life in general though. That was weirdly worded.... but it just makes sense that I of anyone would like it.

You aren't really anonymous when you have your name, location and photo in your profile

I must not have been abused enough, because I just like regular sex in a bunch of positions.

 

[Doug]

Something I've always wondered and no one's given me a good answer to. Its usually just, "People just like that stuff" but I want a serious psychological answer.

So, simple question, why do people prefer certain sexual things or find hands or feet sexy? I for one have a typical Asian fetish and my jaw usually drops at the sight of hot Japanese girls, but why? What answers might the Escapist have?

And, for discussion's sake, what fetishes do you have and do you know why? Its the internet so you can be honest.

a) Because we're all insane, and b) Japanese women have a particular look alot of causian males (including me) find hot. At least, most of them (expections, of course)

 

[Little Duck]

Masochism strangely. No Idea why.

I suppose people have different turn ons and offs and a fetish is an area of specific taste.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

I'm 15, and I don't understand fetishes. Maybe I'm too young to have developed one or something, but I can't understand how someone can get a hard-on over feet or hands.

I could probably go down a list of "fetishes" and you'd probably find them attractive. Most men are into some kind of kink, whether they know it or not.

Do you find nurses attractive? School teachers? Older (but still hot) women? Female ninjas? These are all fetishes, just not to the Quentin Tarantino foot-fetish extreme you might be thinking of. The way I think of it is a fetish is something that you could add to ANY decent/good-looking woman to make her more attractive to you. Like for some people, the woman speaking Italian is apparently that thing.

I do not, never have, and never will understand fetish.

What's to understand? I don't "get" certain fetishes, but it's not so hard to understand the concept of something which might be considered kinky being arousing to somebody.