hmmm... I wish i could tell exactly what my own fettish is so that i could answer this question. Maybe im just wierd and not all sexually human.
Why do we Have Fetishes?
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I also have an Asian girl fetish, whoo! Probably because I love Japan so much.
There was an article in Chat magazine about some bloke who killed loads of women because he had a fetish for it or something O_O I can't quite remember the full story, but at the end there was an article about fetishes, and I remember it saying they're sick and twisted, usually a persons secret desire that originates from childhood
I'll try find it if I can.
There was an article in Chat magazine about some bloke who killed loads of women because he had a fetish for it or something O_O I can't quite remember the full story, but at the end there was an article about fetishes, and I remember it saying they're sick and twisted, usually a persons secret desire that originates from childhood
I'll try find it if I can.
The 'grandfather of psychology' as we know it is either William James or Wilhelm Wundt, arguably. Freud was never a psychologist. He was a psychoanalyst. The two sound the same but are entirely unrelated.Jinx_Dragon said:
Medicalisation is quite a trend in mental health circles, but the doctors you speak of are, thankfully, a minority. Most psychiatrists (psychologists are not licensed to prescribe drugs) are less eager to prescribe medication unless a condition ruins your life or the lives of those around you. You may be diagnosed with a paraphilia, but if you're happy and you know it
To my knowledge paraphilia originate from associative learning during a sensitive phase in sexual development: if you think someone is hot, and there's a certain aspect about that person (or the situation in which that person presents him- or herself) that stands out, you forever associate hotness with that aspect. Which in turn can lead a life of its own. But that still doesn't explain more exotic fetishes.
To be honest, different fetishes can originate from different mechanisms. It's too big an umbrella term. For instance: would you consider rape fantasies are the same as really liking (and I mean really liking) shoes?
Hell, it's been even suggested that rape fantasies are inherent to our nature. Really makes you think about what 'normal' is huh?
[small](little caveat: all claims in this post have an empirical basis but I'll be damned if I'm going to look for references.)[/small]
Edit: And oh yeah, I have a goth and a redhead thing going on for reasons I can't quite fathom.
i don't think that liking asians is really a fetish.Julianking93 said:
I too have a raunchy case of the yellow fever, but if thats a fetish, then everything is a fetish. We don't say "heterosexual men have a girl fetish" or "homosexuals have a dude fetish."
A fetish would be something like "I can't get off unless you put your feet in my mouth." It is simply a complex learned behavior that became embedded with a person's sexuality. Take that fetish and make it about cleaning the apartment rather than sex, and you have OCD. Take that fetish and make it about writing books and you have Stephanie Meyer.
Behavior is interesting.
I would attribute it to a sort psycho-sexuality, the sex drive in humans is strong, and gets tied up in all sorts of mental processes in the brain, causing sexual "wierdness".
Anyway, i'll give my two cents to the topic by trying to provide some explanations for fetishism by use of exhamples (for convincences sake, i will use a hetrosexual male perspective, of course homosexuals and women also have fetishes)
-Foot fetish- favoured by those who like being dominated by other women, the foot is very smybolic, being under it is like a sort of "ultimate submission". Wanting to be dominated by women could stem from feelings of being inadequate or unworthy, or perhaps being tied up with feelings of guilt and wanting to be punished, which probably also links in with submissive bondage, and masocism.
BDSM- i've already explained what i think about submissive bondage, dominant bondage i think comes from a want to control others, which possibly comes from a frustration with the opposite sex, or perhaps as a form of deep seated anger which is expressed by sexual domination. (also probably explains sadism)
Hmm.. i feel very much like a psychogist now..
There are of course "softer" fetishes, which most people have mentioned and most people have experienced. Some people find red-heads and asians hot, probably because they are rare and exotic, it makes them seem more unique and interesting. I sometimes find girls with glasses really cute, i think that stems from the fact that my first crush was on a girl who wore glasses. I also love women in tight jean's, legging's, leather or whatever- but then again don't most men? (I remember learning that one of my female freinds was going to a cosplay dressed as catwoman..my brain nearly exploded with exitement)
It's fairly obvious why guys like form revealing clothing though- they reveal and highlight the female form, which males find attractive.
Anyway, i'll give my two cents to the topic by trying to provide some explanations for fetishism by use of exhamples (for convincences sake, i will use a hetrosexual male perspective, of course homosexuals and women also have fetishes)
-Foot fetish- favoured by those who like being dominated by other women, the foot is very smybolic, being under it is like a sort of "ultimate submission". Wanting to be dominated by women could stem from feelings of being inadequate or unworthy, or perhaps being tied up with feelings of guilt and wanting to be punished, which probably also links in with submissive bondage, and masocism.
BDSM- i've already explained what i think about submissive bondage, dominant bondage i think comes from a want to control others, which possibly comes from a frustration with the opposite sex, or perhaps as a form of deep seated anger which is expressed by sexual domination. (also probably explains sadism)
Hmm.. i feel very much like a psychogist now..
There are of course "softer" fetishes, which most people have mentioned and most people have experienced. Some people find red-heads and asians hot, probably because they are rare and exotic, it makes them seem more unique and interesting. I sometimes find girls with glasses really cute, i think that stems from the fact that my first crush was on a girl who wore glasses. I also love women in tight jean's, legging's, leather or whatever- but then again don't most men? (I remember learning that one of my female freinds was going to a cosplay dressed as catwoman..my brain nearly exploded with exitement)
It's fairly obvious why guys like form revealing clothing though- they reveal and highlight the female form, which males find attractive.
How open minded of you.Akai Shizuku said:
OT: I was ninjad:
Why do you have to do this, I never get to write posts, you always say what I was going to say.Nickolai77 said:
Why do I have fetishes? Because they feel GOOD. I don't know how the fetishes form, but people maintain and practice them because they get enjoyment out of them.
I guess beginning to experiment at a young(ish) age, having a long-term girlfriend that was "Miss Missionary" and free access to the World Wide Web opened my mind to a lot of the stuff out there. BDSM (switch), Bloodplay and Latex/Leather/PVC to name but a few of the things that I'm into.
Mind you, I think partly the reasons for these are that I am really into Goth chicks (being metalhead/Goth myself) and these fetishes tend to stack well with the mindset of those women. So they may or may not help me to end up in bed with them (if you are "compatible sexually", as in having roughly the same fetishes, then you may be chosen over someone as good looking, but otherwise not as interested in the same things as the woman).
So really it all comes down to our primal instincts of trying to attract a mate; either through choosing someone based on a certain physical characteristic (hands, feet, ass etc) or as a method of "one-upping" a rival male.
+EDIT+
I thought I'd better add, since it's come up a couple of times (post after this, for example) that -personally, I guess I can't speak for all- having a fetish doesn't mean I can't "get it up" in a situation not involving them - an attractive woman still has the same effect. It's just I believe the fetishes enhance the foreplay or the sexual experience, as well as being something sensual that increases the bond with your partner, hence leading to "better sex" (not just on a physical level but a psychological, and perhaps spiritual for those inclined, one as well).
Maybe some people can't get it up any other way, but I'm not sure any "fetishists" I know would agree with that. Or perhaps that it's just because we're into some wierd stuff and tend to keep it under wraps on one-night-stands and short-term relationships, hence can still find arousal in "vanilla" sex.
I guess beginning to experiment at a young(ish) age, having a long-term girlfriend that was "Miss Missionary" and free access to the World Wide Web opened my mind to a lot of the stuff out there. BDSM (switch), Bloodplay and Latex/Leather/PVC to name but a few of the things that I'm into.
Mind you, I think partly the reasons for these are that I am really into Goth chicks (being metalhead/Goth myself) and these fetishes tend to stack well with the mindset of those women. So they may or may not help me to end up in bed with them (if you are "compatible sexually", as in having roughly the same fetishes, then you may be chosen over someone as good looking, but otherwise not as interested in the same things as the woman).
So really it all comes down to our primal instincts of trying to attract a mate; either through choosing someone based on a certain physical characteristic (hands, feet, ass etc) or as a method of "one-upping" a rival male.
+EDIT+
I thought I'd better add, since it's come up a couple of times (post after this, for example) that -personally, I guess I can't speak for all- having a fetish doesn't mean I can't "get it up" in a situation not involving them - an attractive woman still has the same effect. It's just I believe the fetishes enhance the foreplay or the sexual experience, as well as being something sensual that increases the bond with your partner, hence leading to "better sex" (not just on a physical level but a psychological, and perhaps spiritual for those inclined, one as well).
Maybe some people can't get it up any other way, but I'm not sure any "fetishists" I know would agree with that. Or perhaps that it's just because we're into some wierd stuff and tend to keep it under wraps on one-night-stands and short-term relationships, hence can still find arousal in "vanilla" sex.
I've always thought that would be like some sort of curse, only being able to...get it up, with a picure of a dog in front of you or whatever.NeutralDrow said:
Slightly more on topic, the girl I like very much decided to divulge to me the fact that her ex-sort-of-boyfriend had several fetishes, one of which was gagging. Needless to say I've needed a few days to get used to the new shift in perspective.
*Cue theme music* "So others don't have to!"
... seriously I think it's based in a combination of upbringing, location of living, and relative social influences/ lack thereof.
not really sure how it works to be certain... but it just does...
And as far as I know I have a fetish for pretty much... nothing... I find allot of fetish niche stuff to be kinda... nasty...
I guess in my life I have noticed i find Redheads and Brunettes more attractive than others, but it's usually that those hair colours tend to accompany facial traits that i find attractive... some blonds have those traits too and are similarily pleasing on the eyes... but otherwise... I can't really classify those as fetishes though, as they aren't a specific thing that I secretly obsess over... so yeah...
... seriously I think it's based in a combination of upbringing, location of living, and relative social influences/ lack thereof.
not really sure how it works to be certain... but it just does...
And as far as I know I have a fetish for pretty much... nothing... I find allot of fetish niche stuff to be kinda... nasty...
I guess in my life I have noticed i find Redheads and Brunettes more attractive than others, but it's usually that those hair colours tend to accompany facial traits that i find attractive... some blonds have those traits too and are similarily pleasing on the eyes... but otherwise... I can't really classify those as fetishes though, as they aren't a specific thing that I secretly obsess over... so yeah...
Well, I myself noticed I had a think for feet when a girl put her feet on my face and I suddenly got a booner, first I though I was wierd but thanks to internet, I found out foot fetish is actually quite normal.
So the question is why? Well my personal theory is experience, for an example, when u get into hot water first of it burns, then you get used to it and even like it, see my point? If I get exposed to feet all my childhood I might just end up liking them. That might also depend on your personality, like if your dominant and so on...
This example could also explain why some people might turn out gay, they arent born that way, it just... happens, I hope this made it clearer.
The Crazy Cat!
So the question is why? Well my personal theory is experience, for an example, when u get into hot water first of it burns, then you get used to it and even like it, see my point? If I get exposed to feet all my childhood I might just end up liking them. That might also depend on your personality, like if your dominant and so on...
This example could also explain why some people might turn out gay, they arent born that way, it just... happens, I hope this made it clearer.
The Crazy Cat!
Huge huge subject area, but current thinking is that like facial recognition, your sexual impluses are built up by recognising positive elements while the hormones flood your body. What happens with fetishes is that you ascribe sexual imagery to a certain object/way of acting due to your non-sexual mind correlating it with the release of hormones into your body.Julianking93 said:
In a similar way to being able to hear specific voices, speak a certain language or fearing certain things; once that trigger or fetish is present, the brain allows the release of those chemicals.
The problem with this idea would mean that all sexualities away from normal (Note: I didn't say hetero) are learned behaviour; however, if you're trying to rewrite memories that most of us have had since about age 4 when we could theorise about our own bodies, then good luck.
There are actually a number of interesting papers written on the subject as well as many different theories. While Freudian psychoanalysis illustrates the most popular and recognized explanations, a good portion of the psychological community consider his original ideas to antiquated and in need of some serious tweaking.
I personally find the "Duck studies" interesting. Farmers, and then researchers, noted that hatched ducks that saw the farmer's boots before their mother not only tended to follow, cuddle for comfort, and nest with the boots,but also became "sexually attracted" to the boots when they reached sexual maturity.
Current prevailing theories suggest a combination of nature and nurture, in which early experiences, particularly between the ages of 8-16, help to shape how one is physically attracted to others.
If you got your first sexual fantasy from a tentacle porn, you will likely be into tentacle porn at an older age. If your early (enjoyable) sexual experiences involve being dominated, you may find yourself a submissive. It goes on and on, but most psychologists point to early sexual and developmental experiences as leading culprits in ones sexual identity.
I personally find the "Duck studies" interesting. Farmers, and then researchers, noted that hatched ducks that saw the farmer's boots before their mother not only tended to follow, cuddle for comfort, and nest with the boots,but also became "sexually attracted" to the boots when they reached sexual maturity.
Current prevailing theories suggest a combination of nature and nurture, in which early experiences, particularly between the ages of 8-16, help to shape how one is physically attracted to others.
If you got your first sexual fantasy from a tentacle porn, you will likely be into tentacle porn at an older age. If your early (enjoyable) sexual experiences involve being dominated, you may find yourself a submissive. It goes on and on, but most psychologists point to early sexual and developmental experiences as leading culprits in ones sexual identity.
Well, for me I was watching a cartoon where this wolfguy had a crush on this non- consenting girl, so he proceeded to kidnap and tie her up. Afterwards I found myself dissecting the plot. I wondered if a girl had a crush on me, she would kidnap me and tie me up. I found this idea to be very intriguing
Dinosaur fetish.
[small]oh those tiny tiny arms[/small]
But no in reality, I have a thing for short blue hair. Or any bright, unnatural color, really.
[small]oh those tiny tiny arms[/small]
But no in reality, I have a thing for short blue hair. Or any bright, unnatural color, really.
Socks, she has to be wearing socks. Okay she doesnt have to be wearing them. Also glasses.
The reason? Both are linked to my childhood in some way. The socks one...im not not going to explain that one (dont worry its not weird or anything im just not going to). Glasses: when i first got glasses i never really liked where them but i had to, they made me look nerdy. Now, when a woman wears them, i find it sexy. For both, its like ive gone from not liking it at all to I find it incredibly hot.
The reason? Both are linked to my childhood in some way. The socks one...im not not going to explain that one (dont worry its not weird or anything im just not going to). Glasses: when i first got glasses i never really liked where them but i had to, they made me look nerdy. Now, when a woman wears them, i find it sexy. For both, its like ive gone from not liking it at all to I find it incredibly hot.
Oh. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.Julianking93 said:
THAT kind of fetish...
Yeah, it's just a matter of opinion really. I have to agree, Japanese girls are very beautiful (I mean, they even spawned their very own brand of prostitutes (geishas), but on my behalf, I think it's because we are genetically programmed to seek out and reproduce with partners from which the offspring will benefit the most. I suppose that's why I love intellectual girls and can't find any. 'Cause I'm the genetic failure of the century...
I AM SO WRITING THAT ONE DOWN!