Why do we Have Fetishes?

[C_Topher]

Like most human behaviour, fetishes are a constant topic of debate in the scientific community. Some are the result of classical conditioning (look up Pavlov's dogs), while others are explained by biology (an asian fetish as described by the OP encourages genetic diversity). Some are rooted more in psychological gratification than anything physical. The best example of this is domination.
However, there are cases that are just disturbing and have no reasonable explanation. Russian serial killer Andrei Chikatilo, aka the Butcher of Rostov, could only have an orgasm if he stabbed his victims. Although he was abused as a child, there`s no record of sexual abuse, which is the usual trigger for such violent kinks and fetishes.
One last note, this may have been said already, but it bears repeating. By definition, a fetish is something that is REQUIRED for an individual to become aroused. If it just help achieve arousal or enhances the experience, it`s defined as a kink. The more you know.

 

[ThreeWords]

There's probably no real good explanation for why we're into certain things, just something we seem to be pre-programmed with.

This, really. The question might as well be "Why don't we all like the same ice cream flavour?"

 

[The_Chief]

and i have a foot fetish...probably cuz of cartoons and shiv

Quentin Tatantino does too. Heck, I believe that's the most common fetish there is.

How would cartoons affect that, though?

hell i dunno. im still getting over the fact that my grandma grabbed my ass and told me i didnt have one. i cant form coherent thoughts. but yea its pretty common i heard. and quentin Tarentino kicks ass.

 

[Superbeast]

Yeah, you can still have fun without fetish play, but fetish play works better. I'm surprised to hear about a fetish society in your university, there is not one at mine and i carn't see anyone starting one, it would be seen as another society for wierdo's, like the LARP (role-playing) society. Probably because there are not many Goths at my university unfortunatly. Anyhow, even if there was a fetish society i would not really join, i prefer to keep such things private within relationships.

Since coming to university, i don't see goth's anymore. I see metal fans from time to time, but no goths anymore, which is a shame really i was friends with quite a few of them back in high school. I agree with what you say about goth's being experimental, for instance, i knew one goth girl who started off bi and went towards lesbianism as the years went by. I was always an understanding outsider to the "goth clique", i would not like to wear the clothing personally, but i think it looks good on other people. About your point about fetishism highlighting the human mind being fantastic, i don't think fantastic is quite the right word, but it certainly reveals how complex the human mind is.

Yeah, there aren't too many goths - I think in the university of ~30,000 there's less than a hundred, probably less than 30 in fact. I hardly see any others. It's a pity, but Birmingham is well suited for that scene, with a decent metal/darkwave club and one or two distinct "fetish clubs", as well as the monthly "Bizarre Bazaar". The Carling Academy is great for metal gigs too, and you sometimes get good bands ad the O2/Hippodrome.

I was surprised the university itself has a fetish club - I'm a member but I haven't been to more than 1 meeting I think - as you say, I prefer to keep most things private (I'm not exactly a good looker and the after-meetings involve getting drunk and "playing", so it's more confidence issues than anything). They do tend to have a large-ish member base, thanks in part to an absolutely smoking lass in a purple latex dress on the Freshers Fair stall.

I enjoy gothic clothing - though I tend more towards the "metal" end of the spectrum than goth (it's very similar style, just not so extreme really - them leather coats are damn expensive!). Goth, as a fashion style, has largely dropped off the radar. Still, it helps make one feel a little more "individual" and I've noticed crowds/people seem to part/move out of the way when I'm "goth'd up" as it were. Which can be handy some days.

Perhaps "fantastic" wasn't the right word, but I do find the human mind fascinating. I used to be a Biochemist and Neuroscience/Psychology was one aspect of the course that I found really intriguing.

To the other people that have mentioned chilhood stimuli as a reason for fetishes:

I'm not sure how this applies to a large portion of fetishes. Things like latex and so on make little sense - getting molested as a child is unlikely to create a grounding in this kink, neither for blood-play. Domination as a desire for power is also an incredibly interesting concept, when you consider that it is the submissive that is actually in control of the whole situation - ie, has the power. Domination in the form of rape I can understand, but not from the perspective of BDSM. I'm sure Freud could blame it all on my/our/your mother though (he seemed strangely obsessed with repressed sexuality and mothers, come to think of it...).

 

[orangebandguy]

It's strange, just don't let Freud know. He's a complete fruitcake.

 

[mangus]

When it comes to psychology's answer to this, there are many different theories (as with most things psychological). One is that prominent attributes of your opposite-sex parent are the same attributes that will attract you to a sexual partner

Wrong-> Furries.

 

[Grayjack]

A deep seated childhood memory perhaps? I have fetishes, but I am not about to reveal them.

 

[ElephantGuts]

I don't know why we have fetishes but they sure are hot.

Coincidentally, one of my many fetishes, if it's worth calling it that, is girls having fetishes. So added to my own ones I would say fetishes are the best thing to happen to sex ever.

 

[Spitfire175]

Yeah, the fetish itself is kinda wierd, it's a good exhample though of a typical "wierd" fetish that you sometimes come across. I sort of envy you Fin's for having quite an active "goth" culture in Finland (not because of the fetish stuff, but because of the rather good music, and compatablity with nerd culture that comes with it). Goth culture used to be quite active in the UK about 4-5 years ago, but seems to have rapidly died down here. So i'm stuck with boring normal people now lol

Ayup, the two subcultures mix well. It helped me when I was growing up, the "gothy" and geeky styles beached here at bout the same time I was entering puberty, the early 90s. It was nice to read sci-fi and fantasy novels and listen to metal(Call me stck up, but I still do the same things now, when I'm about to graduate from the university.), knowing that I wasn't alone, I was a part of something bigger. Also, the whole thing fits the Finnish mentality very well: introverts and misanthropes are common over here.

Going a bit more on topic, in Finland the sexual oddities people may enjoy are really a public no-no. Whatever happens in the bedroom(or basement), stays in the bedroom. As Finns are really secretive about that sort of things. Attracting attention in the public is a tabu. Of course, the one thing Finns do very well besides being grumpy and quiet is drinking. A lot. And that has an effect, once a Finns are drunk out of their asses, you can ask them anything, and they'll happily tell you, if you can understand mubled nonsese, which is the regular "after a few" language.

Having been around a bit, mostly Europe, it seems some are very open about fetishes, Germany, Italy, Austria and Spain for example, have non-consealed fetish clubs, and they are much more likely to talk about that sort of thing with strangers. I spent the summer backpacking across Europe 4 years ago, I got to know the nighlife of some major cities, it's nothing like Finland. Actually, I only had to take a ferry to Stockholm, Sweden to see some relatively odd public performances.

Is Britain as tidy as the lords of Whitehall want the rest of the world to believe? I've only seen London and Edinburg at daytime, and the countryside.

 

[z121231211]

You know Pavlov's experiments on dogs? Just apply that to sexual gratification.

 

[Disaster Button]

One of my weirder ones is my hair fetish.
Like if I see someone with really good hair I take a deep breath, my jaw drops and say "Wow.."

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

Because the particular item/body part/look or whatever that a fetish entails somehow gets a persons bloodstream to act in a way causing sexual arousal. As far as telling you what my fetish would be you can forever wrap your mind in that mystery

c'mooon, tell us

Nevermind, it might be too weird for us.

Mine is just standard uniform fetishes (lady cop, catholic schoolgirl, ect.)

 

[clairedelune]

I love internet anonymity.

And yet you use a picture of yourself for your avatar.

I can pretty much guarantee that anyone I know doesn't read this website.

 

[funguy2121]

Something I've always wondered and no one's given me a good answer to. Its usually just, "People just like that stuff" but I want a serious psychological answer.

So, simple question, why do people prefer certain sexual things or find hands or feet sexy? I for one have a typical Asian fetish and my jaw usually drops at the sight of hot Japanese girls, but why? What answers might the Escapist have?

And, for discussion's sake, what fetishes do you have and do you know why? Its the internet so you can be honest.

"Fetishism" has evolved colloquially to broaden beyond the sexual, but sexually it still refers to more than just "preference." For instance, rarely but sometimes, I find a black woman to be stunning. That wouldn't be a fetish unless I had a bunch of black hookers come over every sunday and beat me silly with wiffle ball bats.

So if you're referring to mere attraction, it's a combination of how hormones impacted your brain during development with your actual experiences.

If you're referring to fetishes, it's basically the same but far more specific. I think for both men who like to be called "daddy" and women who love to call them "daddy," that incest has very little to do with it (normally). I would point to a deeply embedded need in the man to fulfill a role, if only in the sack, to serve as gaurdian and caretaker, and in the woman, a deeply embedded need to have a gaurdian and caretaker.

Of course, this is culled exclusively from my own experiences and while I think my opinions are more than valid, I could be completely full of shit. After all, I did mispell gaurdian.

Edit: Saw about 30 posts I wanted to respond to with "Kate Winslet," "Portia de Rossi," and the like...

 

[Nickolai77]

Yeah, there aren't too many goths - I think in the university of ~30,000 there's less than a hundred, probably less than 30 in fact. I hardly see any others. It's a pity, but Birmingham is well suited for that scene, with a decent metal/darkwave club and one or two distinct "fetish clubs", as well as the monthly "Bizarre Bazaar". The Carling Academy is great for metal gigs too, and you sometimes get good bands ad the O2/Hippodrome.

I was surprised the university itself has a fetish club - I'm a member but I haven't been to more than 1 meeting I think - as you say, I prefer to keep most things private (I'm not exactly a good looker and the after-meetings involve getting drunk and "playing", so it's more confidence issues than anything). They do tend to have a large-ish member base, thanks in part to an absolutely smoking lass in a purple latex dress on the Freshers Fair stall.

I enjoy gothic clothing - though I tend more towards the "metal" end of the spectrum than goth (it's very similar style, just not so extreme really - them leather coats are damn expensive!). Goth, as a fashion style, has largely dropped off the radar. Still, it helps make one feel a little more "individual" and I've noticed crowds/people seem to part/move out of the way when I'm "goth'd up" as it were. Which can be handy some days.

Perhaps "fantastic" wasn't the right word, but I do find the human mind fascinating. I used to be a Biochemist and Neuroscience/Psychology was one aspect of the course that I found really intriguing.

To the other people that have mentioned chilhood stimuli as a reason for fetishes:

I'm not sure how this applies to a large portion of fetishes. Things like latex and so on make little sense - getting molested as a child is unlikely to create a grounding in this kink, neither for blood-play. Domination as a desire for power is also an incredibly interesting concept, when you consider that it is the submissive that is actually in control of the whole situation - ie, has the power. Domination in the form of rape I can understand, but not from the perspective of BDSM. I'm sure Freud could blame it all on my/our/your mother though (he seemed strangely obsessed with repressed sexuality and mothers, come to think of it...).

I guess in Birmingham you have a pretty good variety of clubs to go to. I go to Lancaster, so of course their is less choice when it comes to clubs here, i end up putting up with crap music every time i go out. (Doesn't mean i don't enjoy myself from time to time)

I too am fascinated by the human mind, but that orginates from "seeing" a "ghost" in my childhood, my later experiences of my then girlfriends sexual tastes solifified by interest in psychology.

Going a bit more on topic, in Finland the sexual oddities people may enjoy are really a public no-no. Whatever happens in the bedroom(or basement), stays in the bedroom. As Finns are really secretive about that sort of things. Attracting attention in the public is a tabu. Of course, the one thing Finns do very well besides being grumpy and quiet is drinking. A lot. And that has an effect, once a Finns are drunk out of their asses, you can ask them anything, and they'll happily tell you, if you can understand mubled nonsese, which is the regular "after a few" language.

Having been around a bit, mostly Europe, it seems some are very open about fetishes, Germany, Italy, Austria and Spain for example, have non-consealed fetish clubs, and they are much more likely to talk about that sort of thing with strangers. I spent the summer backpacking across Europe 4 years ago, I got to know the nighlife of some major cities, it's nothing like Finland. Actually, I only had to take a ferry to Stockholm, Sweden to see some relatively odd public performances.

Yeah, the English seem to be roughly similar to the Fin's, in the aspects of being quiet about sexuality and drinking heavily. Altough where not that introverted, we get very talktative and stupid when drunk. I have heard that the Germans and Austrians are quite open about the fetish scene, i carn't think why, it would be helpful if we had a German's opinion on why this is the case. In the UK where still coming out of victorianism, it's a long slow process which began in the 1960's and still not quite complete, so of course sexual fetishism is not very "big" here.

Is Britain as tidy as the lords of Whitehall want the rest of the world to believe? I've only seen London and Edinburg at daytime, and the countryside.

Coming to think of it, Britain is generally pretty tidy, i'm not sure how or why, perhaps it's all the cheap migrant laboureres who clean up after us. Then again, when i went to Germany they seemed slightly more tidier than we Brit's where.

 

[Atvomat_Nikonov]

I remember hearing somewhere that fetishes had something to do with society having a taboo on sex. With it being a taboo topic, people see it as naughty and just develop different things they can relate to sex to seem like 'bad boys/girls'. I don't really remember where I heard it, or the full details (as you can probably tell) but I think it's an interesting theory. The Taboo on sex making people seek fetishes.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Sometimes it has a physiological basis. Apparently pregnant women do give out radically different pheremones, which turn men on, and then they associate the arousal with the sight rather than the smell.

Then there are good old conditioned responses. See enough of something in a certain light and you will start to feel an attraction towards it. This is actually a suggestion on why leg and foot fetishes are so common, because it is seen as rude to stare more directly at women (breasts, buttocks and crotch) clothing is designed to give men something to look at when they try and avert their eyes and end up staring at the feet.