I decided to give Halo another chance. Only experience I've had with the series was CE on the PC, which didn't exactly blow up my skirt. In fact, I only managed to finish about a third of it before it became a casualty to boredom. I lowered my expectations as low as they could go, figuring that it can't be that bad.
Well... I'm not going to say it's bad, but after only two levels, it really does seem as though Bungie's idea of a good single player campaign is about as far away from my own as humanly possible.
1) I defy anyone to get past the opening menus without realizing this game is really about MP. Single player menus tend to be all about getting players into the action with a minimum of choices. Instead, I'm wondering if I should turn scoring on. I know this isn't a big deal, but it's irritating to be constantly reminded that I really should be playing this on-line. I know, it's a serious nit-pick, but this sort of thing undermines my confidence about getting a proper single player game.
2) Music is quite good, but the combination of bored voice acting and characters with helmets means I got through the opening cinematics without giving a shit about anyone in the game... or finding anything particularly cool. Just a bunch of soldiers quietly sitting around out-machoing each other without a trace of irony. I kind of get the feeling that I'm supposed to think it's amazingly cool because I'm seeing so many Spartans hanging out together, but that would require me to give a shit about the Halo Universe, which I don't. I'm reminded of the image of Superman holding Thor's hammer which set off a wave of nerdgasm in my friends, but I was just thinking "yeah, and..."
3) Combat... this really is at the core of my boredom with the original game. I'm not a big fan of games where lowest level cannon fodder baddies requires more than a couple of shots from the default weapon. These guys pretty much exist to mow down quickly with a minimum of thought, so I'm mentally cursing every time I shoot a short burst of fire into those annoying gibbering aliens, move on to the next one, only to realize they're still up. And that's pretty much the whole Halo experience for me, every enemy seems to take about 25% more effort to take down than I want them to, which makes the game feel like wading through molasses for me.
4) Combat Part Deux... the melee attacks. First time I played Halo I had no idea that the melee attack was so unbelievably over-powered. Seems like the game really encourages players to charge enemies, which is pretty much the complete opposite of my combat style. I prefer to hang back, utilize cover, and pick away at my enemies. Halo, like the original Unreal, kind of feels like I'm deathmatching in single player, which my brain kind of rejects for breaking all the rules of immersion.
5) The Fucking Vehicles... this one, I really hope I'm just over-looking a menu option, because this is bar none the most game killing element I've encountered in a game in recent memory. Left stick to accelerate and brake, right stick to steer. It's like being told to pat my head and rub my belly, then rub my head and pat my belly. I'm cool as long as I'm going in one direction, but the second I have to go in reverse all coordination goes out the window, the vehicle flips over, then I have to wait far too long for my idiot squad-mates to get back on the fucking car.
6) Time to hop on a chopper (again) and watch the scenery slowly go by (again). First rule of being stuck inside of a moving vehicle is that cool shit is supposed to be going on around you. Even the most boringest tram ride in history (Half-Life) had plenty of little moments going on in the background. In Halo, it's "hey, look, I can see another dozen funny looking windmills".
7) In the second mission, there's this bit where my squad-mate finds this girl refusing to speak American, before a cinematic hits. About a quarter of the way through this, the game had pretty much crossed the invisible line of how much cinematic I'm willing to go through about something that's not in the least bit interesting. Okay, bad guys are loose in the base, I need to go kill them... okay, guys, any moment now... can I have control of my character back now... ummm, any time now... okay, now I'm watching someone close a door... fuck it, as soon as I get control back, I'm saving and quitting the game.
Let's stress I'm not saying Halo is a bad game. All of this is done with a certain amount of skill, but it's so strange how this game manages to dance through a mine-field of things I find interesting and completely fails to step on anything. I can't think of another first-person shooter that had me so disinterested after the first couple of missions.