Why is bullying still an issue?

Recommended Videos

Carbonyl

New member
Jun 2, 2011
451
0
0
Zing said:
Carbonyl said:
Zing said:
usmarine4160 said:
It's never going to stop, human nature.

Teach little boys how to be men and suck it up? Teach little girls to do whatever it is girls do?
This. People are too sensitive.

Not This. People are too insensitive.
Nice counter-point you got there. Glad we could have this discussion!
Yes, it was quite productive. Thank you for your time.
 

MorphingDragon

New member
Apr 17, 2009
566
0
0
You know what? I really hope some people here don't have legal authority over children.

The advice to fight back or !@#$ them over with your mind is BS. Asking a child/teen/young adult to resort with violence or seek refuge by instilling fear is a dangerous precedent. Think about it, they don't have the life experience to tell when it is too far, or any ramifications of their actions, and that advice will STICK WITH THEM when they are an adult. Not only that, its not even advice on how to deal with bullies in general. Later in life, you can't just kick an adult in the shins. Hell, in most countries, you are trialed as an adult for assault as soon as you are a teen. A lot of "victims" don't fight back here because they will be jailed if they do, or its just not in their personality.

I got raised with the above advice from the people around me (apart from my 'rents), and it took me beating a guy to a bloody pulp (literally, I smashed both his legs and nearly paralyzed him because I had enough of his shit) that this advice was BS.

The most helpful advice I've ever been given was from my father, he taught me how utilize the tools that were given me. However I was lucky enough to go to a school where the senior staff were smart enough to get other students involved in the anti-bullying process. Many kids don't even have legitimate friends to fall back on.

Also fuck you to the people that say that the suicidal are weak willed and are coping out. Fuck you with the biggest razor encrusted dildo on the planet.
 

MorphingDragon

New member
Apr 17, 2009
566
0
0
Carbonyl said:
Blind Sight said:
Carbonyl said:
Then don't have just one person in there, I know I was allowed to be alone with my teachers and my guidance counselor, there was no law or school policy against it. The office can be in a busy suite of other school offices, the door can have a window. The point is that schools should provide at least one safe place, and at least one person to provide emotional support on the payroll. That's what I want.
Oh, there's no laws against it, but it seems to be encouraged in order to avoid scandals that can threaten a teacher's chances at employment.

Your suggestions are interesting, but it doesn't really solve the problem. I can see several flaws in the application of this idea as well:

1. Depending on the school, how large do you think these groups of students would become? Think about it, if bullying is such a problem then these independent rooms might not even be big enough for the bullied population.
2. Wouldn't these rooms, which basically distance the 'different' from the 'normal' even further not cause an even greater divide? I mean, yes, you'd be safe for say, lunch period, but the effects of bullying might be further encouraged by this divide, which could cause even more problems when these students are in the 'general population'(hehe prison metaphors work well for public school). I mean, I can basically hear the guys from my high school calling it the 'pussy room' even now. It makes sense to have a safe room, but I could see that creating an even larger stigma. Could very well be like painting a target on your back.
3. Well, ignoring the problems with public school funding, this 'emotional support' assistant is not a bad idea. I still see problems with it, mostly based on my own experience with public school 'emotional support' which seemed hollow and disengaged. I think the issue you'd have there is finding people who would legitimately care about your situation, but by all means not a bad idea.

I can see where you're coming from, but for me it's more an attempt to hide the problem then actually solve it. For your situation I can see the benefits, but I'm just trying to see if there's more general applications to the system that can help negate bullying to an extent, and I just don't see that happening in this model.

Honestly, I couldn't care less if it's called a pussy room. I wanted to be safe, even for just a few minutes.
I called it the music Dept, I now call it University. :p

Except those are dying the the USA if International Media is to believed.

Its something my mum calls the Sanctuary, a minority who looks out for each-other just because they are a minority together.
 

spartan231490

New member
Jan 14, 2010
5,186
0
0
Carbonyl said:
spartan231490 said:
Carbonyl said:
spartan231490 said:
The system always listens, the trick is knowing how to make it hear.
The system listens to power, and I had none of that.
You don't need power, you can borrow theirs. If you throw their own fears back in their face, they will believe it. It can't be helped, being afraid of something is admitting that it's possible. That's just one small way to do what we are talking about. there are many others.

How capable is a six year old of doing that to a school administrator? That was when I was pushed down. I was six and I was scared and I wanted help and I asked for it from my teacher, the next day the principal pulled me out of class, she told me that I needed to not tell, that I would be punished if I told anyone, that if I was quiet it wouldn't get worse, that it wasn't real anyway and no one would believe me. How the hell was I supposed to stand up to that, to find her fear, at the age of six I was shy and scared and friendless. I stood no chance and held no sway. I had no arsenal, and crying was frowned upon by the school.

You're outlook might work if the bullying starts in middle or high school, or if you actually have a friend or two, but when you're a little kid and grownups rule your existence, your advice is worthless.
It's not advice. I was merely clarifying that it can be done, and it doesn't necessarily have to do with intelligence in the normal sense of the word.

My advice would have been punch the kids in the face, cuz it's a lot easier and a lot more likely to work.

Doesn't really work in your example obviously, but you were a unique case. My advice to you would have go to your parents about the principle, but whatever.
 

MorphingDragon

New member
Apr 17, 2009
566
0
0
spartan231490 said:
Carbonyl said:
spartan231490 said:
Carbonyl said:
spartan231490 said:
The system always listens, the trick is knowing how to make it hear.
The system listens to power, and I had none of that.
You don't need power, you can borrow theirs. If you throw their own fears back in their face, they will believe it. It can't be helped, being afraid of something is admitting that it's possible. That's just one small way to do what we are talking about. there are many others.

How capable is a six year old of doing that to a school administrator? That was when I was pushed down. I was six and I was scared and I wanted help and I asked for it from my teacher, the next day the principal pulled me out of class, she told me that I needed to not tell, that I would be punished if I told anyone, that if I was quiet it wouldn't get worse, that it wasn't real anyway and no one would believe me. How the hell was I supposed to stand up to that, to find her fear, at the age of six I was shy and scared and friendless. I stood no chance and held no sway. I had no arsenal, and crying was frowned upon by the school.

You're outlook might work if the bullying starts in middle or high school, or if you actually have a friend or two, but when you're a little kid and grownups rule your existence, your advice is worthless.
It's not advice. I was merely clarifying that it can be done, and it doesn't necessarily have to do with intelligence in the normal sense of the word.

My advice would have been punch the kids in the face, cuz it's a lot easier and a lot more likely to work.

Doesn't really work in your example obviously, but you were a unique case. My advice to you would have go to your parents about the principle, but whatever.
Unique case? Really. Plenty of kids feel helpless because they're just that, Kids. This effect extends much farther than the School grounds.
 

Carbonyl

New member
Jun 2, 2011
451
0
0
MorphingDragon said:
I called it the music Dept. :p

Except those are dying the the US of A if International Media is to believed.

Its something my mum calls it the Sanctuary, a minority who looks out for each-other just because they are a minority together.
The music teacher came in on Wednesdays. The art teacher came on Thursday. There is nowhere like a music dept. in elementary school, and the music dept. in my high school was where the theater kids were, and they were the most popular and most incestuous group of assholes in the whole school. I the place most of the weird (and nice) kids ended up was Italian class.


Also, as per your post before this: I like you, you make a good point about the violence philosophy, and I enjoy your insults, they are very creative.
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
6,092
0
0
It wont stop until there are no more people with low self esteem who get it out by taking it out on someone weaker. In other words, it will never happen.
 

MorphingDragon

New member
Apr 17, 2009
566
0
0
Carbonyl said:
MorphingDragon said:
I called it the music Dept. :p

Except those are dying the the US of A if International Media is to believed.

Its something my mum calls it the Sanctuary, a minority who looks out for each-other just because they are a minority together.
The music teacher came in on Wednesdays. The art teacher came on Thursday. There is nowhere like a music dept. in elementary school, and the music dept. in my high school was where the theater kids were, and they were the most popular and most incestuous group of assholes in the whole school. I the place most of the weird (and nice) kids ended up was Italian class.


Also, as per your post before this: I like you, you make a good point about the violence philosophy, and I enjoy your insults, they are very creative.
My school had separate departments for Drama and Music.
 

erykweb

New member
Apr 1, 2011
19
0
0
nukethetuna said:
erykweb said:
Honestly, This has more to do with being smarter than everyone else. Even at age 7, I could talk around the system. And when you are smarter, people tend to get irritated with you. I was never bullied. Why? Because the first time 3 kids tried to beat me up they ended up on the blacktop bleeding from their noses and fat lips. And I rubbed it in. They were beat and they felt it every time I spoke a word to them. I was not bigger or stronger than they were- I was smarter. Now, once you reach adulthood, this tends to even out a bit; the gap of intelligence becomes smaller, but it runs on the same principle. If you are taught correctly, and brought up correctly, then it will not be an issue. So every time I hear someone say they were bullied by person x, or psychologically scarred by person Y, I have little sympathy. If you make a display of violence against them, that is good. But if you hit them where they feel it psychologically- no one will ever bother. Fear is an emotion, the easier to invoke it is, the better off you will be.

Bullied kids ARE weak. They are made that way by the bullies. But they are not at the beginning. If they are smarter than the bullies at their own game, then there is never a problem.
Pffft, what did you do? Headbutt them with your MASSIVE BRAIN? "I did it so anyone can" is not a valid defense. It's called anecdotal evidence, and in this case it ignores the significant differences in people and situations.

Also I think retaliating by scarring them psychologically and then rubbing in the fact that you beat them down constantly makes YOU the bully. :p
Once is all it takes. And yes, it is a valid defense. If some small (I was one of the shortest kids in my class) kid can take on 3 people willing to beat the crap out of him, then the average kid who is being bullied can do it as well. What you are ignoring is that someone cannot be both "impressionable" and "significantly different" at that age. Either you are still developing and are therefore capable of such actions (impressionable) or you have a defined personality that is fixed for you entire life (a different, unique personality). If they are impressionable, then they can recreate my experience. If not, they are doomed to be weak willed people for the rest of their lives. I tend to prefer the former.

And I think you are looking into the incident too much. I fought once in self defense and let them know who was boss. I told them not to come back. That was all the damage I needed to do. Then they left me alone, and I reminded them of that experience anytime they gave me any crap. A bully would beat them up again or taunt them about it unnecessarily. I merely used it to keep them at bay until they could realize that their behavior gains them nothing.
 

.No.

New member
Dec 29, 2010
472
0
0
Carbonyl said:
... This is one of the few posts I've ever read that's actually effected my way of thinking, if not the only. That must have required a hell of a lot of courage to post, even with anonymity. Seriously.
 

RaikuFA

New member
Jun 12, 2009
4,370
0
0
.No. said:
Carbonyl said:
... This is one of the few posts I've ever read that's actually effected my way of thinking, if not the only. That must have required a hell of a lot of courage to post, even with anonymity. Seriously.
I feel the same way about it. I had a teacher act that way as well.
 

Nackl of Gilmed

New member
Sep 13, 2010
138
0
0
snake4769 said:
Then its natural selection. Might be sick to say, but if they are weak willed enough to give up, then GIVE UP and kill yourself.

I am sorry but i feel as if im strong willed enough to go down in a blaze of glory. I'd sooner die trying to hurt the person trying to hurt me before killing myself.
I would just like to say how hilarious it would be if a reporter saw this and thought you really are Justin Bieber.
 

edgecult

New member
May 4, 2011
158
0
0
Haakong said:
Now, heres what I dont get: The few that have their life fucked up by bullies either goes a self-destructive path, or turn their hatred towards something else (society, random people, easy targets). Why arent these guys directing their hatred towards their old tormentors, or if they want easy victims; Other children bullying? Getting revenge, or preventing what happened to you happening to someone else? I just dont get that...
I think I can maybe explain that part to a degree.

Those that turn it inwards generally makes me think they are their easiest outlet for their aggression and anger. They blame themselves for their own weakness and their own self worth. They're the ones that go out for later years either destroying their own bodies or end up those aggressive muscle builders in gyms.

Those that turn it towards society as a whole are the ones who blame the school and the other students around them who don't seem to be willing to help him in his time of need either turning blind eyes or actively cheering his oppressor. As someone mentioned scale is hard thing to pull together so in his mind the world is against him so he's against the world.

Random people is just blind aggression or a small scale of the previous mentioned society part...

And easy targets is a built upon the first part. The own weakness to a farther extreme. This one falls more with the adage of a bully being bullied somewhere else. He's just inflicting his pain onto others weaker than himself as a means of letting out the aggression he doesn't believe he can inflict on his oppressors due to his own believed weakness

that's my take on that anyway...
 

Carbonyl

New member
Jun 2, 2011
451
0
0
spartan231490 said:
Carbonyl said:
spartan231490 said:
Carbonyl said:
spartan231490 said:
The system always listens, the trick is knowing how to make it hear.
The system listens to power, and I had none of that.
You don't need power, you can borrow theirs. If you throw their own fears back in their face, they will believe it. It can't be helped, being afraid of something is admitting that it's possible. That's just one small way to do what we are talking about. there are many others.

How capable is a six year old of doing that to a school administrator? That was when I was pushed down. I was six and I was scared and I wanted help and I asked for it from my teacher, the next day the principal pulled me out of class, she told me that I needed to not tell, that I would be punished if I told anyone, that if I was quiet it wouldn't get worse, that it wasn't real anyway and no one would believe me. How the hell was I supposed to stand up to that, to find her fear, at the age of six I was shy and scared and friendless. I stood no chance and held no sway. I had no arsenal, and crying was frowned upon by the school.

You're outlook might work if the bullying starts in middle or high school, or if you actually have a friend or two, but when you're a little kid and grownups rule your existence, your advice is worthless.
It's not advice. I was merely clarifying that it can be done, and it doesn't necessarily have to do with intelligence in the normal sense of the word.

My advice would have been punch the kids in the face, cuz it's a lot easier and a lot more likely to work.

Doesn't really work in your example obviously, but you were a unique case. My advice to you would have go to your parents about the principle, but whatever.


I am not a unique case, kids are powerless, and grownups are scary. My parents had no idea what to do (though they tried as hard as they could), and I wouldn't tell anyone the extent of what happened because I was afraid.

Eventually, it did come down to punching the kids, though I tended to aim for the balls before going for the face. But as I said before, I wasn't fighting for me, I had no concept of being something worth fighting for, I was fighting for my brother, and through that learned to fight for myself. But I never would have fought for myself, the true damage is how the bullying teaches you to give up, that you have no options, that you're alone and it's enough to destroy any chance at psychological and emotional health well past the end of the active bullying. I know I'm still feeling it, and it's painful every waking second of the day, and it's what I have nightmares about. And I was one of the lucky ones. A lot of people end up worse, broken, violent, non-functional, deeply depressed. I'm relatively happy, and have finally gained social skills and some confidence.

I'm only unique in that I managed to finally escape it, and do so through my own agency.
 

Kennetic

New member
Jan 18, 2011
374
0
0
Bullying is part of growing up. It can suck but it happens. Also, how can the school always do something about it? They must either see it or have it reported to them and bullies aren't obvious and victims usually don't report it so there's not a lot they can do.
 

TheLoneBeet

New member
Feb 15, 2011
536
0
0
l33tness08 said:
If its physical bullying? Kick them in the fucking nuts!

If its not physical? Tell them to FUCK OFF! and get on with you're life.
This. People can only bully you if you let them.

My dad told me when I was young that if somebody hit me I was to hit them right back. If there are multiple opponents, fight dirty.

If it's just teasing, tease back. Comment on how poor their self esteem must be that they're picking on you to feel better about themselves. Say it like an insult too, because if you just whine at them they'll laugh at you.

School sucks if you're being bullied but it's an easy situation to get out of. Talk to somebody and maybe get some back up if you're being picked on by more than one person.
 

ipickedsquirtle

New member
Feb 21, 2011
34
0
0
Why? Because me and my friends still choose to play magic the gathering during our spare...and we dont mind the comments
 

MorphingDragon

New member
Apr 17, 2009
566
0
0
DrMegaNutz said:
Bullying is part of growing up. It can suck but it happens. Also, how can the school always do something about it? They must either see it or have it reported to them and bullies aren't obvious and victims usually don't report it so there's not a lot they can do.
The school can do plenty. They can make make help accessible. They can utilize their greatest resource, Senior Students. The school where I went to, We had Head Students and Student Advisors. Head Students had authority to give out detentions and were a direct line to the senior staff. Student Advisors were a direct line to the teachers, and were hand picked by the councilors and generally meant to be accessible people who had the ability to get help for kids who didn't know how. We were also unofficially snitches. Free Pizza is worth the guilt. :)

I don't deny Bullying is part of growing up, but there is a fine line between what is considered "healthy" for development and living hell. Making someone Depressed is never OK, the changes in brain chemistry makes one mentally and physically ill.