nima55 said:
As a Lesbian myself, I hold no ill will towards gay people, but recently I've been noticing that in most media, It is more acceptable for a woman to be gay that it is for a man. For example the possible relationship in Mass Effect (No I love those games. I'm not criticizing them). Can anyone think of a reason this might be =/ ? knowing myself this is probably something that everyone noticed ages ago lol.
Pretty much all gay-hate stems from gender roles and politics. The complaints are really coming from 'men do this; not that, women do that' not this. Think about the questions gay couples get about their sex lives. "Which one is the girl (or boy)". They're ascribing what role someone plays sexually (active/passive or give/receive) to gender standards. A man who is the receptive partner is playing a 'female' role.
The reason people tend to be more accepting of queer women (assuming we're 'pretty' enough) is that women taking on a male role makes sense. Why would anyone want to be the passive one? Why would someone want something inserted into their body? Men have power. A man taking on a female role makes no sense; it's a down grade. Gender standards are way more strict for men than they are for women. Think about how much easier it is for a woman to wear pants or a tux than for a man to wear a dress. There's also this censoring of the male naughty bits. Full-frontal male nudity is really rare (at least in America) so I think that male-body phobia has something to do with that. Women's bodies are every where and have been codified for pleasure so I think that the idea of someone liking those bodies is more acceptable. All queer relationships cause people with really strict ideas about who does what and why to question how they relate to people.
Of course gender and sex are related and sex hormones influence personality traits. Testosterone tends to make people and animals more aggressive, boy infants like looking at things more than faces and girl infants are the opposite. But cultural attitudes also shape how people of sexes and genders act (they aren't the same thing). Its easy to say that men do this sexually and socially because they are more aggressive but when you have two men or two women, the defining factor in their balance of power can no longer be sex. So it has to be more complex than that; like people are individuals and work out their relationship roles on the basis of more than just chromosomes.
The other part is that people think that if it doesn't involve a penis it isn't sex. Cunnilngus doesn't count for some reason, and neither does fingering (I've never seen someone dispute the sexual validity of lesbian fisting though). So it's less 'wrong' when two women are having sex because its not as much sex as penis-sex is. Being a bi-female I also see that exploitative attitude some people (men and women) have toward lesbian sex. Some people think that a man could improve the situation. "Look at those women -- they're so lonely their practicing kissing each other" Most woman/woman sex is also portrayed as really soft, and feathery, and chaste with lots of petting (of all kinds) and hair smelling.
Lesbian's Brother: I don't think you can really call it sex; I think it's closer to cuddling.
Lesbian: Well, she cuddled the shit out of me.
BTW: The technical definition of "sodomy" is 'non-procreative sex'. So fisting, fingering, oral, anal, titty fucking, mutual masturbation and tribadism are all very naughty. We should all stop immediately.
