Why nerds are unpopular (this is lengthy)

[The Long Road]

I always noticed my high school had a structure very much like the one described, albeit somewhat watered down by a halfway-decent teaching staff. However, I still got by share of savagery during 9th and 10th grades, which led me to discover a frighteningly effective deterrent:

Convince everyone that you just might be crazy enough to kill them.

Seriously. A couple of close friends and I all started learning new and dangerous skills the summer before junior year. Over the next two years, we all got our specializations in something. Knife techniques, shooting, mixing things to go 'boom', sambo... we all had a few things. We only had two rules: never actually use those skills unless in a life-threatening situation, and never actively start a conversation about them.

For example, if someone asked our hobbies, we'd reply, say, 'baseball, football, video games, fishing, throwing knives, sparring, shooting...', at which point we'd start getting some odd looks. Word began to circulate about the 'crazy people', and not too long after, I personally heard someone speaking about one of my friends say "Don't piss *blank* off. He will f*** you up. Did you know he can knife fight?". It was the day I declared my strategy had worked.

Obviously, this approach is not for everyone. If used inappropriately, it is highly illegal. But keep it sane, keep it within the bounds of the law, and it opens everyone's eyes. They begin to think outside the pressure cooker of high school social structure. If anything, I'd say it's proof of concept: the illusion can indeed be broken. It takes an overwhelming amount of force, but it's a glimmer of hope.

 

[ReinofFire]

That was a damn good essay. I don't know if it's possible but I think my English teacher would be impressed with your insight.

I myself only had trouble in school during my middle school years. Now that I am in High School, it is actually easier for me. Both gradewise and popularitywise. Though I am not anywhere near the top (which I am glad I am not) I no longer am at the bottom.

What should be more addressed however is the identity of the teenagers. So far there are at least 400 or more students at my school. I only know at least 70 to 90 of them. 30 of them I at least knew in middle school. Most of the people I knew in middle school (excluding my friends) are also popular. Unlike how you grew up however I am glad to say that popularity at my school is not made by just sports (thank God) but is also made by actually being smart (sometimes) as well as doing very big things. Like be on the student council or yearbook team.

As a fellow nerd however, I salute you.

 

[Wait...What]

I tend to somewhat disagree with this article. For clarity, I wasn't either nerdy or extremely popular. I had a group of close friends and a lot of acquaintances. In honesty, I was more in the "popular" crowd. What set the difference between the popular and unpopular had almost zero to do with intelligence, rather it was social skills and/or social differences. The "nerds" in my school were very socially awkward and didn't quite grasp human interaction. These type of people get too clingy when someone shows them any attention and don't necessarily say appropriate things. Most "nerds" in my school would be C average students and only perceived to be intelligent due to their interests (and yes, most of them actually tried to do well in school). My friends and I, in fact, shared very similar interests to these "nerds" but due to their social awkwardness, we didn't want to hang out with them. It was more of an indifference.

Although I agree with public school being nothing like the real world, the so-called "nerds", unfortunately don't prosper. It will always be the popular. There are cases, of course, with the very unpopular nerd becoming a huge success. This is a direct correlation to intelligence, not popularity. Unfortunately, it's still the attractive, strong, and well liked people that will go further and become more successful in life.

True...Life is ALL about social skills if you don't have any chances are you wont become successful ... unless you're VERY smart.
I had the same experience at my secondary school the 'nerds' were average intelligence and just did not get how to talk to people.

 

[VanityGirl]

I can't actually agree with this article in whole, sorry.

It paints nerds in an oddly "we're better than you" light. Essentially saying nerds are busy thinking about other things so they can't think about how to be popular seems rather... well wrong.

Nerd- refers to a person who avidly pursues intellectual activities, technical or scientific endeavors, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests, rather than engaging in more social or conventional activities

SO a nerd is a smart person who doesn't feel like engaging in social activities? Hmm. I guess we should rename the movie Revenge of the Nerds into a better title. Those guys were pretty social and engaged in conventional activities. We refer to them as nerds just because they were goofy smart guys.



I feel like the term "nerd" has become a scape goat term for people to use just like the "nice guy" term was used as a scape goat for some men's lack of social skills. (There's been threads on it, go look.)

I'm pretty sure popularity has everything to do with social skills and nothing to do with nerdiness.

Also this.^
As a human, social skills are a MUST. Every job you have will require you to have some amount of social skills and honestly, school is the best place to develope them. Your social status is all about your social skills. If you act like a detached weirdo who thinks they are better than everyone (and sadly this happens with elitist nerds) then guess what? You aren't going to be popular and probably aren't going to have many friends anyway.


*shrug*
This is my take on it. I've always made good grades, but thanks to my social skills I did very well in school popularity wise. Also, the social skills I've learned have helped me in life.

 

[RetroKid]

This is a very nice read but kind of weird for me who is in the 8th grade. But like you said, groups are forming already. And apparently to popular kids being completly yourself is considered strange for some reason.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

I knew some of this already, though that aside, it was a fascinating read.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Ugh, couldn't bear to get through all of it. Read about half way through. It may be a disservice to the article, but to be honest, this article is a disservice to "nerds" all around.

Look, nerds are picked on because they don't have the social skills required to "mingle" with other people. Its as simple as that. For whatever reason they may not have these skills is another thing entirely. I knew the nerds in my school, they were deemed nerds the moment everyone laid eyes on them. The way you're eating your sandwich, all hunched over, with your arms tight against your body, looking around as you devour your sandwich as a squirrel would with some piece of trash on the ground.

The nerds definitely want to be popular, sacrificing intelligence for it? I'm not sure anyone would really do that to be quite honest, but I'm pretty sure they'd give up a lot of other stuff to be accepted. But I know for damn well it isn't because they're pre-occupied with other things.

Look, I wasn't hugely popular, but I saw enough of the popular side to know what it feels like. Its a great feeling, but I was able to hang onto my nerdiness and actually be RECOGNIZED for it. That was the ultimate feeling in the world for me. You know what I did recently? I went to Comic Con this weekend and dressed up as Big Boss from MGS3. Did I get ridiculed by any of the popular kids? No. Did everyone think it was awesome and give me props for actually having the balls to do something like this? You bet your ass they did.

There is no need to make up excuses for nerds, because thats all I saw this essay as. If you're a nerd, great, be one, but don't think that we hate you because you're smart or something. We don't like you because you don't know how to interact with other people. Simple. As. That.

 

[Skeptic]

Fantastic reading, hats off to author.

 

[Feste the Jester]

I'd like to say this. I go to an all guys high school and we tend to have a far more lax social caste. I'm definitely a nerd, but I have a lot of friends at school. One of my friends who is also quite nerdy is friends with most of the football team.

 

[Spinozaad]

Society loves hierarchy.

The amusing thing abou hierarchies is that everyone involved keeps the entire thing intact. You might hate the system, but your hatred only reinforces and confirms it.

That said, I find it quite amusing as an outside observer. Continental (European) high schools, or at least the Dutch ones, have a far less rigid hierarchy; and even that one simply fades from 'hierarchy' to 'cliques' during high school. A reason for this might be the lack of insane competitiveness American high schools seem to have. We don't (really) do 'high school sports', so a caste of 'jocks' is non-existent. Cheerleading is considered to be absolutely ridiculous, so 'we' don't have those ones either.

'We' are just that more egalitarian.

 

[Daniel_Rosamilia]

Well, you've pretty much hit the nail on the head with a sledgehammer

Although, at the moment I'm learning martial arts (in school), so if someone DOES try to start a fight with me, a swift knee to the bollocks should stop them, and even then a second shot (elbow to the ribs/jaw) might put them down well and proper.
Hoping that doesn't happen, I'd rather not get nto fights.

 

[likalaruku]

In Jr. High, I developed an intollerance for popular kids & everything they stood for, comparing them to the irritating little twits who got killed off in horror flicks. I even took to bullying just them instead of random people (I was a raving ***** when I was in elementry school). I was notorious for biting people, which apparently lead to me being the one geek in highschool no jock or preppy picked on. This one girl named Kendal tried, but I ripped out a goodly portion of her hair & scrathed-up her face. I also helped some other girls glue the mens' gym lockers shut & booby-trapped their toilets & urinals.

 

[VanityGirl]

Ugh, couldn't bear to get through all of it. Read about half way through. It may be a disservice to the article, but to be honest, this article is a disservice to "nerds" all around.

Look, nerds are picked on because they don't have the social skills required to "mingle" with other people. Its as simple as that. For whatever reason they may not have these skills is another thing entirely. I knew the nerds in my school, they were deemed nerds the moment everyone laid eyes on them. The way you're eating your sandwich, all hunched over, with your arms tight against your body, looking around as you devour your sandwich as a squirrel would with some piece of trash on the ground.

The nerds definitely want to be popular, sacrificing intelligence for it? I'm not sure anyone would really do that to be quite honest, but I'm pretty sure they'd give up a lot of other stuff to be accepted. But I know for damn well it isn't because they're pre-occupied with other things.

Look, I wasn't hugely popular, but I saw enough of the popular side to know what it feels like. Its a great feeling, but I was able to hang onto my nerdiness and actually be RECOGNIZED for it. That was the ultimate feeling in the world for me. You know what I did recently? I went to Comic Con this weekend and dressed up as Big Boss from MGS3. Did I get ridiculed by any of the popular kids? No. Did everyone think it was awesome and give me props for actually having the balls to do something like this? You bet your ass they did.

There is no need to make up excuses for nerds, because thats all I saw this essay as. If you're a nerd, great, be one, but don't think that we hate you because you're smart or something. We don't like you because you don't know how to interact with other people. Simple. As. That.

Ah how much I agree with you.

I actually read the whole article too, it really doesn't change much in tone.

 

[RadiusXd]

Hahaha! wait till you have an identity crisis which usually happens in your first or second year in college. You know that "Don't bother me, I know everything" attitude you had in high school, late teens comes crashing down on you like a ton of bricks. You realize you know nothing and like you said, "that school is not life" which means your whole system of labels will mean nothing.

Don't bother me? I know everything?
i don't mean to speak for everyone but YOU seem to be the one that thinks they know stuff.
i have never had this stage of which you speak, and if i ever came close that was quickly stopped by a ponder at how microchips work, what made the big bang, or why people like Justin timberlake/bieber. (both sound like girls wtf)

perhaps more on topic, part of the reason I'm not popular right now is that i refuse to find spectator sports even vaguely worthy of interest.
i mean really, if each week a couple of movies were made with a similar cast of people, an(ideally) almost identical set, the same props and it had no real developments apart from the occasional injury or goal, you would think people mad for paying to watch these movies in cinemas, and yet tickets can go for many times the price of seeing avatar in glorious imax 3d.
I just don't get people.

 

[RadiusXd]

Nerds are unpopular because they have no social skills. The rest of the article is just the author trying to make himself feel better.

are we speaking from personal experience, mr 3000 posts on the escapist?