Words that assure your death in a zombie appocalypse

[roguetrooper96]

"I have terminal lung cancer."

I lol'd, "What happens if I pull the loopy thing out of the side of this grena-" *BOOOM
Capcha = ticked off

 

[uzo]

" ... STARS ... "

and my favourite - "Itchy. Tasty."

EDIT: "You've got red on you."

 

[Dirzzit]

"Don't worry, every things gunna be fine".

When you hear that, Fucking RUN.

 

[GartarkMusik]

Either, "I have a bad feeling about this," or "What could possibly go wrong?" The two timeless classic "We're fucked" lines. lol

 

[Mr Dizazta]

"I'm only mostly dead."

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

"We've got to go rescue x!"

Then it turns out X is a zombie who bites Y's face off then everybody dies.

 

[Twilight_guy]

"What could possibly go wrong?"

"How could it get any worse?"

"Don't worry, we have enough supplies here to last till this blows over"

"Don't worry, I read the zombie survival guide, I know everything we need"

"I read about this in World War Z, I can get us out of this"

"Don't worry I played Left 4 Dead!"

"Yeah, just shot em' in the head, that will kill em'"

"The infection is spread by bites, its not airborne!"

EDIT:

"Let's split up!"

or

*insert sex sounds here*

I think the average episode of Scooby-Doo would end in tragedy.

Sex sounds? In Scooby Doo? What the hell episodes were you watching?

As for me...

"Don't worry, I've got a full clip/magazine"

What? Why do you think Fred and Daphne were always together and never managed to find any clues? They were "sleuthing" something else. *wink wink nudge nudge*

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"look, there's nothing in here, its just a broom cupboard that cant fit two humanoids, and i'm barely squished in here..."

 

[goldendriger]

Either:
"Someone's coming for us"
"Lets wait here"
"He just wasnt dead! he's sick, thats all!"
But probably *Gets tits out* "This can in no way backfire-Oh no im being eaten"

 

[monkey_man]

We made it!
Don't you die on me! while holding X
I got plenty ammo!
Oh shit I fell of a bridge!

 

[6_Qubed]

"I'm black!"

Objection! So was the Dawn of the Dead guy!

OT: "Zombie Survival Guide? Never heard of it."

"But the Guide says we have to... Guys? Where you goin'? COME BACK!!!"

Because if you ever try to apply your nerddom to a real-life imaginary scenario, people will drop you like a bad habit, you'll be alone, and that's how they get you.

(And yes, I do indeed have a copy of the Guide.)

 

[kasperbbs]

"lets split up" that never turns out well in movies.

 

[dark_mist34]

"it's just a scratch"
"we have plenty of ammo"
"those zombies can't get in here"
"oh I thought I heard something wait here will I go check out"
and
"We be fine this whole zombie thing will blow over in a couple of days"

 

[Kukakkau]

Isn't your quote from an anime? Anime being where crappy writing is dominant.
OT:"I'm going to go get killed by zombies!"

Well that's a pretty biased opinion. Judging by a lot of what people have posted it isn't much worse than other movies/series

"I know what to do, I've played Dead Rising!"

...That might actually give you a fighting chance to go down in an awesome way, but still xD

This just reminded me

"Oh look a [insert animal here]! We have to help it!"

 

[Wyatt118]

Everything will be alright.

 

[FalloutJack]

"I'm black!"

Objection! So was the Dawn of the Dead guy!

OT: "Zombie Survival Guide? Never heard of it."

"But the Guide says we have to... Guys? Where you goin'? COME BACK!!!"

Because if you ever try to apply your nerddom to a real-life imaginary scenario, people will drop you like a bad habit, you'll be alone, and that's how they get you.

(And yes, I do indeed have a copy of the Guide.)

Ouch. Bad assumption is bad. You and I both know that while the book is fiction, it's studying a fictional event realistically. That's part of its appeal. The book is post-modernism at its best. Zombies do not exist, but this is a reasonable do-and-don't guide on how to handle them. In the event of zombies, the wrongful assumptions and bad ploys made in movies won't happen here. It may be the cart before the horse, but let's just say that the cart is ready if the horse ever shows up.

OT: "The authorities will figure this all out, any day now."

 

[Composer]

We should be safe in here!

 

[KanHanderan]

"Let's split up"

"There's no way this situation could get worse"

 

[wadark]

"Evac will be here in 5 minutes."

 

[Giest4life]

What's that noise? I'll go check.