worst joke you've ever told
- Thread starter Stephen O'Hagan
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That one isn't bad! I found it witty!loc978 said:
As for awful jokes, I can't think of any that struck me as stupid and not funny off the top of my head, but my mom did tell me one that felt like it was somewhat in bad taste.
Kim Jong Il and and the Russian President (identity really doesn't matter here) were meeting in a hotel room in the company of their bodyguards about 20 stories up. At one point, the conversation switched to loyalty and Jong Il suggested they test the loyalty of their bodyguards. The Russian President then commanded his bodyguard to jump out the window. The bodyguard looked down, then prostrated himself before him. "Sir, please! I have a wife and three kids at home!" The president realized the cruelty of his order and how callous he was, so he apologized profusely and rescinded his order. Kim Jong Il just smiled and ordered his bodyguard to do the same. The bodyguard proceeded to make a dash for the window. The Russian President tackled him, yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WE'RE 20 STORIES UP!" Cried the North Korean bodyguard, "Sir, please! I have a wife and three kids at home!"
I'm in the same boat. Wait I'll post the first non racist bit and leave the rest to guess.DeltaWolfson said:
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a [redacted so as to avoid the ban-hammer]!!!
This joke is simply known as "The Monkey Joke". For best use on your friends, make sure you have trouble telling it due to laughing too much.
So, 3 hunters are walking through the forest. They've been walking for several days and are getting tired, still with no kills.
Suddenly in a clearing, they spot a monkey. He's sitting on a rock deep in thought (for best result, make The Thinker pose).
They walk up to the monkey, "are you ok monkey? Monkeys are generally not great thinkers. What's on your mind?"
The monkey slowly looks up at them and says, "I'm confused".
Commence laughter.
So, 3 hunters are walking through the forest. They've been walking for several days and are getting tired, still with no kills.
Suddenly in a clearing, they spot a monkey. He's sitting on a rock deep in thought (for best result, make The Thinker pose).
They walk up to the monkey, "are you ok monkey? Monkeys are generally not great thinkers. What's on your mind?"
The monkey slowly looks up at them and says, "I'm confused".
Commence laughter.
"How many Jews can you fit in an oven?"
Theres no need to tell the punch line, its already the worst joke ever.
Theres no need to tell the punch line, its already the worst joke ever.
A baby with a punctured lung.
Oh God, no! I didn't mean it, I - AAAAAHHHHHHHHH I'm sorry, that was inappropriate.
In apologies for the above joke, I now present you with three more.
A BOY FELL IN MUD!
HE TOOK A BATH! WITH BUBBLES!
Bubbles is the girl next door.
Oh God, no! I didn't mean it, I - AAAAAHHHHHHHHH I'm sorry, that was inappropriate.
In apologies for the above joke, I now present you with three more.
A BOY FELL IN MUD!
HE TOOK A BATH! WITH BUBBLES!
Bubbles is the girl next door.
A Irishman, Scotsman and an Englishman walk into a bar. The barman says, "What is this, a joke?"
The one tennis ball says to the other tennis ball...
"Where have you been all day?"
To which the other tennis ball replies
"In court"
"Where have you been all day?"
To which the other tennis ball replies
"In court"
A friend of mine told me this one.
So i was walking down the street, eating a bowl of popcorn when a policeman stopped me and asked "what are you eating."
And i replied "popcorn."
.... Yea
So i was walking down the street, eating a bowl of popcorn when a policeman stopped me and asked "what are you eating."
And i replied "popcorn."
.... Yea
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the holocaust.
...Not even the crickets support that one.
Because the holocaust.
...Not even the crickets support that one.
See thats the catch, the idea is that the person you tell the joke to guesses and no matter what number they guess (unless its 0 i suppose) you just give them a look like they're the sickest fuck in the world then walk away.Tanksie said: