Would you be turned off if you knew your partner had "many" partners before you?

[pulse2]

We tend to avoid the question of previous relationships because few if any want to know about how awesome previous partners were or how great they were in bed compared to you, but lets say you found out and it just so happened to be more than 10 previous partners or heck more than 30, how would you feel? Like another passenger to get on the train or pretty damn unique that they stuck with you?

To add some dirt, lets say that that history happened to be pretty gritty, either they were in the porn industry or had a jolly good time with plentiful people in ways you couldn't imagine before they calmed down and settled with you.

How would you feel then? Would it be split up time or would you just laugh it off and move on?

(This all made me laugh while writing btw)

 

[Distorted Stu]

Well il gie you my view (although this doesnt effect all girls)

An ex from 2 years ago lost her virginity to me. About a month ago she wanted to hook up again just for a "DVD". I know shes had plenty of guys. 43 to be exact.

I said no for the soul purpose because i didnt know where shes been and i didnt want anything.
Just to make it clear, she lost her virginity 2 years ago. 9She slept with 5 guys in one week after breaking up with me and caught something. I got checked so i didnt give it to her).

TL;DR - Number of partners/Years = To shag or not to shag.

.. also its not much a turn off, just in my case it was

 

[Ilikemilkshake]

whats with you making all these "would you be threatened by .... in a relationship" threads?

anyway obviously if you're with someone who is better than you, or has have a lot more experiance than you, you're going to feel a bit intimidated.. but if you're in a proper relationship, you work at it... and even if its not a serious relationship, you just go with it and actually get some experiance, everyone had to start somewhere.

 

[Jamster003]

If we're already dating then it wouldn't bother me how many partners they've had. But if I've just met the person i'd be a bit wary.

 

[keideki]

Hmmm, I think at one point in my life it may have bothered me, but now not so much. It really depends on the situation.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I've been asked this sort of thing before. My answer:

"Practice makes perfect."

I really fail to see any issue.

 

[BringBackBuck]

Sex maths! How old am I? 32. So assuming a potential partner was of similar age, say 30-35, I would imagine they would have been sexually active for about 15 years. Say a relationship lasted a few months, they broke up had a couple of one night stands, went into another casual thing for a bit, then another relationship for a bit. It wouldn't certainly wouldn't be unreasonable to have 5 sexual partners in a year. 5 x 15 = 65 partners. Throw in a couple of long term monogamous relationships or the odd "dry spell" and maybe that number is 40-50. Seems reasonable enough to me.

At my age, if I met a woman who had been mostly single and hadn't slept with at least 20 guys then I would be concerned.

 

[Zoe Castillo]

--

 

[antidonkey]

It would all depend on if I thought she was clean or not. If they've been bouncing around a crack neighborhood with no medical check ups.....then yes.....major turn off.

 

[SilentCom]

I would be turned off because I'm not sure if she were to have an std or something. Also, how I view it is that if you go through a lot of partners, then your track record isn't exactly good on the commitment scale. I understand people are searching around for the right one or whatever but frankly its as much as making yourself into the "right one" as finding someone. Also, if they're forming many relationships and sleeping around, I would question if they are faithful or committed to me and not just concerned with sex.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

my fiance and i are pretty much even with our past partners (counting each other, i've had about 22 and he's had around 27, i think), so we don't let the numbers come between us. showing a lot of deep emotion for exes, though, probably would. sex is just sex, and it's fun and we both reap the benefits of the other's vast experiences, but we're in love and that can't cross over into anyone else.

just my opinion, of course, but sex really is just a diversion-your personal "tally" doesn't say a thing about who you are.

 

[Strain42]

I lost my virginity to a woman who I was number 17 or so for. No, I wasn't really bothered by it.

Now if you're with someone who is with multiple partners at the same time, that's an issue.

But you can't always let the past control the present. It's important to make a judgment call, and it's different for everybody.

 

[Togs]

The whole number of partners/years point is a good one, but assuming she's infection free my horny little geek brain just says "with all that experience, she must be really good by now".

 

[The Funslinger]

Had that happen. Dropped her like a stone and got myself checked out.
Once you find out that a chick has not only cheated on previous boyfriends but also fucked a large number of dudes, some of which she had known for less than a day, it really makes you wonder if they are worth the risk. And they never are.

This is what I would do in a given situation. However, I dislike that sort of person who hyperboles if they meet an ex you didn't mention, or some such. It's like... well, it was before you and if I didn't date for the sake of my future girl friend's temper, we wouldn't be together right now, would we!?

A semi-related example is that one episode of the Simpsons when Marge got all pissy because Homer had once kissed a girl when he was ten (which turned out to be Marge, but they didn't know) and never brought it up. She treats it like a huge marriage shaking thing. I wanted to reach into TV land and slap her.

 

[Alrocsmash]

Im 26 years old, and my number is 64. I had fun in high school and college. It would be rather hypocritical of me to look down on any partner I have because I'm usually higher. Just get checked every few months.

I just don't care. You shouldn't either.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Sexual you mean?

No, not really. As long as they say and mean that they wish to be with me, then thats fine. Ive been withq quite a few girls since my first gf died, most ona nd off relationships, and a good portion of them had some sexual contact.

as long as they are clean and as long as they are willing to shwo that same devotion to me when we are by ourselves and having our time, id ont mind.

 

[Princess Rose]

We tend to avoid the question of previous relationships because few if any want to know about how awesome previous partners were or how great they were in bed compared to you, but lets say you found out and it just so happened to be more than 10 previous partners or heck more than 30, how would you feel? Like another passenger to get on the train or pretty damn unique that they stuck with you?

To add some dirt, lets say that that history happened to be pretty gritty, either they were in the porn industry or had a jolly good time with plentiful people in ways you couldn't imagine before they calmed down and settled with you.

Having had nearly 20 partners myself... I have no problem with a partner (either male or female) having many partners.

Experience counts. For a lot. I had sex with a male virgin once - it was not a pleasant experience (for me anyway - I rocked his world, but then I'm awesome in the sack).

I wouldn't mind a partner who was in the porn industry. Those actors get cleaned within an inch of their lives. There's a reason they can lick places that you or I wouldn't - that area has been sterilized before the shoot. What I'd like less is the "porn talk" - that very unrealistic version of dirty talk that porn stars learn.

On former wild behavior - well, I'm still pretty wild. So is my spouse. So anyone who wasn't wild probably wouldn't be a very good fit with us.

 

[Heronblade]

Assuming she is clean in terms of STDs, AND I have reason to believe her commitment is serious, I'd have little issue.

Of course, I don't find flighty/vapid women particularly attractive to begin with, so am somewhat less likely to encounter the situation in question.